The Love They Never Had

" For the sheer humiliation that Yeon had faced in the palace in the absence of her brother, she started openly spending more time in the brothel that she had left behind, conjuring up some malicious gossip amongst the people, resulting in more people siding with Seo Hwi and openly abusing the followed of The Third Prince, which was more than I could have hoped for in the face of such a disastrous event. But Yeon needed some space to recover and if we were to be seen together so soon, The Third Prince would become suspicious and end up wiping out The Seo's altogether. So I busied myself in my work a lot more, with our last interaction resting on my mind quite heavily. I was almost completely sober now and I was grateful that i didn't hurt the girl whilst we…and as soon as i took The concubine Choi down wih her help, which would then in turn take down the corrupt scholar and then in turn weaken The Third Prince, i would take Yeon out of the palace and marry her,,,preferably before I took down The Third Prince so that she wouldn't do something reckless on my behalf.

Touching her was like being able to be myself behind my official robes and being lost in plans of ambition. Talking to her was a chance to let my mind wander and be more open minded to her suggestions instead of delving into the deep part of my mind where there was no positive logic. And eating her food gave me time to slow down my day and actually enjoy my breaks from work…she was slowly undoing all of my father's work to get me into a strict routine of ambition, and i still didn't know if I was a good thing or not.

And that wasn't even the worst of it; i hadn't heard anything from Yeonnie at all. She hadn't shown herself in front of me for such a long time apart from when she continued to serve me tea. But she did it in complete silence and barely looked at me anymore; the excitement in her eyes and her animated tone of voice were a thing of the past now and she always had a reason to excuse herself when I called for her. How dare she, how dare she hide herself from me when I was the one who was taking care of her? Was she really being this damned petty only because I locked her in her room? Shouldn't she be coming up with ideas to please me and win my favour so I could help her? She only needed to talk to me and I can not only let her out of her quarters, but I could sneak her outside as many times as she wanted to go out. But she was just so damned stubborn and wouldn't allow either of us to converse at all, so I could only enter the lion's den and get in contact with her brother, which he wasn't happy about to say the least. And neither was I when I saw the state of him; he was almost a shadow of his former self; he had lost a lot of weight and I had no way of knowing if he was eating or not. His head that was once full of wavy curls were now almost as long as my own hair and just as flat, and even greasier. Even the muscles that he constantly tried to show of in front of me were now almost entirely depleted. But of course, I couldn't express my perusal emotions, not in this situation or privately at all. It was too late for all of that, i knew that Hwi wouldn't appreciate it at all.

"Well? What is it? I am doing everything that you asked me to do, what more do you want?" "Calm down, I have not called you here for official business…" "Is it Yeon? Has something happened to her? Has her epilepsy come back? Why aren't you answering me…"

For weeks now, the life in Hwi's eyes had long been extinguished, his mannerisms that were once so animated were now dull and he could barely lift his head up off the floor. But as soon as I asked him if there was anything at all that he had been hiding from me about his precious sister, I could almost sense a change in him. He kept quiet at first, but he final gathered the courage to look me in my eyes as if we were equals once again. I know that the Seo's had always been quite close as siblings, which was already a rarity in itself. But now that I had time away from Hwi and I witnessed Yeon growing up in my care and acting more and more defiant as each day went by, I knew from Hwi's reaction alone that there was something that I have definitely overlooked all these years when it came to Yeon. And I was going to figure out just what the hell it was before she could fully grow her own wings and fly away from me. She now already had all of the servants under her command, she had stood up to my father more than once, which was a first and despite her mine-rebellious phase that she seemed to be going through, her own mannerisms and wisdom was far better than I had ever seen in any noble I had come across despite being so young and ripe..

"…I'm asking you for the last time. What are you hiding about her from me and why?" "Why are you even bringing up such a question? I cannot tell you unless you tell me what is going on?" "WILL YOU STOP MESSING WITH ME! TELL ME! WHO THE HELL AM I LIVING WITH? BECAUSE THAT GIRL ISN'T THE SAME ONE THAT I GREW UP WITH. SHE IS FAR FROM IT…" I completely lost my patience, even though we both knew that I had no right to in this situation at all, but the fact that I had even managed to stun Hwi, who had already seen me at my worst was he first time that I felt myself in denial and I had absolutely no idea why. What was I doing? Did I want Yeon to be the same as she was before? Why did it matter to me so much? Why did I want to know so much about somebody that I had never really paid that much attention to in the past?

"Seon-Ho, why do you care so much more now than before?" "She…Yeon is standing up to palace officials more than she needs to. She is always so blunt when she talks back and…and he still lives to this day? Nobody has harmed her in any way at all? It is like she has 9 lives or something; she can run headlong into a bad situation and come out utterly untouched…" I had no choice but to recount everything that Yeon had done and said under my roof so I knew exactly how to take care of her before she did something stupid. And I had expected him to be just as worried as I was, but instead this bastard actually had he nerve to smirk in front of me! This was the same guy that also beat the shit out of me when he first confronted me for 'stealing' his sister away from him, and now here he was acing like he knew the biggest secret in the world. In all of the years that I knew this man, I had never in my life seen the expression on his face that he was wearing in this moment, and it was really getting on my nerves, to the point where I really couldn't help myself but to land a punch square in his face.

"Well, you have certainly improved. You wouldn't dare to hit me before…" "Cut the crap! And tell me what I need to know! Or else…" "Or else what?" "Or else I will have no choice but to transfer her somewhere else! What? Just what the hell are you finding so funny right now? What are you laughing about?" "I just never thought that I would see the day when you are fussing over Yeon in the exact same way that she used to chase after you. It's…almost unnerving." I could see that he wasn't going to help me in anyway, so I just about made my way out of that shabby and filthy hideout of his, until he took me by the arm without so much as looking at me. "Do not make Yeon to conform to the rules and etiquettes of this society, it will not work on her no matter how you punish her. Our father always made Yeon and exception to the rules and I carried it on after her first fit. Her new…personality must recognise that somewhere deep down. Let her do what she wants no matter how ridiculous it is, and do not bother to try and figure her out. If you hurt her even once and even unintentionally, she will completely close up to you and will not let you anywhere near her. And by the way, do not start getting attached to her now. Because I will take her back as soon as I can, and you had better not stand in my way."

When Yeon wasn't on my mind, it was Hwi that completely took over each and every sense of mine. It had already been 2 years, and I had done everything possible to distract myself from thinking about that man like I used to. For over a decade, he was the only light I had in my life, and every single day since I met him, I thought about him when I woke up and when I was finally allowed to get some sleep. And despite being from a lowly background, he was just always so full of life…

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I still had my male servant here who was more than willing to help me in any situation. In fact my relationships with the palace maids were beginning to change a little as I always stuck up for them even though they really mistreated me a lot. But I was too preoccupied with my own issues to hold grudges, like walking in on the man that i still loved with my entire being talking and shouting at himself in the mirror, confusing his own reflection with that of my brother. Our relationship was very on and off at this point; he was most definitely upset that I wasn't begging him to replace everything that he broke in my quarters upon finding out what i had been through, even though this garnered good results for his ambition in taking down The Third Prince. Ever since the last time we had gotten together against my better judgment, he would throw tantrums and get into jealous rages on the rare occasions that he saw me despite warning me that we had to keep our distance for now. And whenever he was forced to accompany some noble woman in and out of the palace under his job title, he always made me come along with him and had a funny feeling that he was using her to make me jealous but I just took it as him being confused about his feelings, but the more quiet I got the more upset he got. I couldn't win with him at all so I just left it alone…barely.

"Seon-ho? Who are you talking to?" i ask ed him as tentatively and calmly as possible, thinking and hoping that he was just drunk and not under the influence of anything else. "I just met with your brother for you, he says that he is happy and is waiting for us to live with him forever!" "Forever? Will we…not live in a different home together? When we marry? He has a family now and he needs his own space...." "No, he wants us to live with him, i am telling you! He will work in your father's village, I will continue to work in the palace, he will continue to have more children with his wife and i can finally make your father proud of me when i also give him grandchildren! What do you think?" "My love, is this why you always…persistent in our bedroom activities? Is this the real reason why you want children?" "Well...it isn' the only reason…" he mused as he began to drag me into his bed with much more force than he would usually apply to me. "So what is it? Please tell me, what is your plan with me? Does it have…a good ending or a bad one?" "I am going to marry the only woman that i have ever loved...and i will create a new mix-breed of children using Seo Geom's blood, just as i had always wished to. I want them to be as flawed as possible with the bloodlines….and they shall be the best children in every single aspect with Seo Yeon's training. That is why I need Seo Yeon, even if she doesn't like me anymore. I will throw my father's ideology in his face in hell along with my brother that i was always compared to. That is how i shall get my revenge on the world and control the palace with the very children it shall need to survive long after my death."