The Impeccable Adventure of the Reluctant Dungeon

The south wall slowly dissolved, revealing the room in which Liandra was fighting. She was doing quite well, yet each time she gained the upper hand, the marquis and his wife would use their puppets as shields, forcing her to retreat for just long enough for a new wave of skeletal minions to emerge and join the fight.

“Victory through numbers,” the abomination said, seated on the throne. “Efficient, but unpleasant to watch.”

The dungeon’s avatar nodded. He had about enough for one final small spell, possibly two, yet knew that he wouldn’t be able to achieve anything with that. Also, resisting the urge to uncontrollably grow was getting more and more difficult. There were so many chambers he wished to create. Even the prospect of having minions crawl throughout him no longer seemed as unappealing as before. As long as he was careful about it, there was no reason not to have a few minions per type. By his estimations, obtaining a basic set wasn’t even going to cost that much. Diggers practically paid for themselves with the resources they gathered. Warriors and mini-bosses were a different matter. For all intents and purposes, they were useless, so they’d have to be stacked away somewhere. It couldn’t be the same room, either, since there was a good chance they might start fights with one another for stupid reasons such as minion rankings.

No. Rosewind trembled again, as Theo shook the thought out of his conscious self. No more minions!

“That’s another wound,” Agonia noted. “That would make three in the last minute.”

The avatar glanced at the heroine. He had to admit that there were a few injuries on her, though it was difficult to tell when she had gotten them.

“Can’t she see us?”

“I don’t know. Heroes concentrate to the extreme when things get difficult. It’s usually in such moments that they manage to surprise me.”

An unexpected turn of events would have been nice right about now. With the abomination’s defenses down and nothing separating Liandra from Theo’s avatar, they had every opportunity to come up with a hastily concocted plan and do something. Sadly, now that they had the opportunity, they lacked the means. Theo was practically all out of energy, and all the fighting had finally caught up to the heroine.

“Why the blood?” The avatar changed the subject. “What does that have to do with fulfillment?”

“I…” the abomination looked at him. “I’m not sure. I was created this way. If there’s a reason, I was never told.”

That sounded completely made up, but the dungeon nodded all the same.

“You still think you can win, don’t you?”

“Well…” Theo needed time to think of a proper response. Ironically, his hesitation only confirmed Agonia’s suspicions.

“You remind me very much of the heroes that imprisoned me all that time ago.”

“The great archmage was a dungeon?” The question slipped out of the avatar’s mouth.

“Definitely not. He was exceptional at magic, though. His companion did the fighting, giving the archmage enough time to cast his prison. If it wasn’t for my children, the two of you might have managed to do the same.”

Strands of blood shot out from the abomination’s form. Sliding along the floor, through bones and other skeletal remains, they wrapped around Liandra’s left foot, like a snare.

Without a moment’s delay, the heroine’s blade sliced through the floor, snapping the strands before they could create any imposition.

“Not bad.” Agonia mused. “You probably think it’s too early for me to celebrate?”

“Who knows?” the avatar replied absentmindedly.

Back in Rosewind, a few of the larger slimes had started dissolving the walls of buildings. Normally, he’d just use his sacred lightning to put them in their place, but that too required more energy than he had. Someone a bit more paranoid could almost say that the slimes had reached an arrangement with the zombie letters: If they were to breach the walls of the buildings with people in them, the letters could easily spirit away more of the inhabitants, and thus create new letter-spawning locations.

“It’s impressive how strong willed you are, but there really is no point. My children can’t defeat her, but she can’t harm them either, not if she doesn’t hurt their puppets.”

Theo was just in the process of thinking of a suitable response to disguise the fact that he wasn’t paying attention to what Agonia was saying when the entire castle shook. Everyone, even Liandra and the skeletal minions fighting her, paused in an attempt to assess the situation. A few moments later, the castle shook again.

Dozens of blood threads shot out from the abomination’s form, all aimed at the heroine. Half of them reached their mark intact, only to be severed soon after. Apparently, even in her current state, the woman proved too strong to just be defeated.

“You planned this, didn’t you?” Agonia stood up from the throne. “Typical for your kind. Regardless, it’s already too late.”

Five new clusters of blood strands shot out from the abomination only this time they weren’t aimed at Liandra, but pierced the avatar instead.

Pain rushed through the dungeon’s entire body, as he expanded in five more areas around the town. His entire supply of core points was fully depleted, yet his obsession with his own halls and chambers prevented him from converting any of them to energy. A sensation of agony swept through him as Theo felt every part of him being stretched to the point of snapping. Now, he had a pretty good idea where the abomination’s name had come from.

“Who knows?” the baron said, gritting his teeth.

Elsewhere, fragments of stone fell from the treasury’s ceiling as the shaking intensified. Unfortunately, the only people who noticed were those who couldn’t afford to.

Octavian screeched as he swooped down towards Amelia. The dust and fragments in the air were making flying a lot more difficult. Swerving to the right, he managed to grab hold of the woman’s shoulders, pulling her out of the mass of people. One tried to grab her by the leg, but a few well-aimed kicks in the head quickly dissuaded him from the notion.

“It’s not here!” Avid shouted from his section of the room, as he struggled to break free from the hands grabbing him.

It had been a considerable relief that the cursed inhabitants of Rosewind were neither as skilled nor as determined as those in the ballroom. Sadly, he couldn’t use weapons against them, either.

“It wasn’t there, either!” Amelia shouted as the griffin flew closer to the ceiling. “That leaves about twenty we haven’t checked.”

The shaking continued, this time accompanied by a series of loud bangs coming from the ceiling. Massive cracks formed as chunks of stone fell onto the people below. Octavian flapped intensely, trying to avoid the ever-increasing dangers. Then, without any warning whatsoever, the ceiling collapsed.

A large muscular figure in glistening armor fell from above, landing with a metal clang. He was the epitome of what an adventurer was supposed to be—large, muscular, stoic, observing his surroundings with a calm, slightly confused expression.

“Sir Myk?” Avid managed to say, before the cursed mob of people pressed him against a wooden display.

A second, far larger entity, soon landed as well. Fifteen feet tall, with four massive arms, and made entirely of metal, it cracked the floor a few steps from Cmyk and immediately went into an attacking pose.

The only reason no one was squashed like a bug was due to the crowd being focused on capturing Avid and Amelia, who, in turn, had been busy searching through the wooden displays on the edges of the room.

“Behold!” a loud voice boomed. “It is I, Vlyan Switches, chief engineer in the service of Baron d’Argent. And I have come here to destroy—” the voice stopped. The massive metal colossus turned about, searching for something.

After several seconds, the chest of the construct moved to the side, revealing a gnome seated in a small compartment with dozens of gauges and levers.

“Where is he?” the gnome asked.

Unfortunately, no answer came. Avid, who was already nearly crushed by the mob even before Switches’ arrival, was in no state to reply, and Amelia was more focused on staying in the air.

“Fine.” Switches grumbled. “If that’s the way you want it.” He turned a wheel, then pulled a series of levers.

All four arms of the metal construction pointed at the corners of the room. A faint humming sound appeared, gradually building up for several seconds, before releasing a web of lightning in all directions.

Over a hundred people shook violently, then collapsed to the floor. Only Cmyk remained standing, sparks flickering in his hair.

“Oops.” The gnome grinned, resetting a few levers. “Sorry about that. You okay down there?”

Cmyk looked around, then up at Switched and gave him a thumbs up.

Silence filled the chamber, only disturbed by the wings of the griffin flying about.

“So, where’s the d—” the gnome abruptly stopped. “The baron,” he quickly corrected himself. “Where’s the baron?”

“What have you done?!” Amelia screamed. Being the only one in the air while the wave of electricity was released, she had remained unscathed.

“I came in to assist the baron,” the gnome said with pride. “Me and Cmyk. Well, mostly me. Cmyk’s here for moral support.”

“The baron isn’t here!” Amelia drew her sword and swung in the direction of the gnome. Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on the point of view, the sword’s magic charge had yet to be restored. “You killed them all for nothing!”

“Killed?” The gnome’s ears twitched. “They aren’t dead. Just a friendly shock. I knew that it would be impossible to find the baron in the crowd, so I used the most efficient way to thin it down a bit. Only a person with—” he paused again. “Only someone as skilled in magic as the baron would have been able to remain standing after the shock, so he would be easy to find.”

Twisting her body, Amelia broke loose from the griffin’s grip and landed on the floor.

“Do you see him anywhere?” she asked, with the smoldering cold anger of an annoyed noble.

The gnome raised a finger to say something. Shortly after, he closed his mouth, then lowered his hand. Indeed, with the exception of Cmyk and Amelia, no one else was left standing in the room.

“Ah,” he said at last. “That’s strange. I was sure he had to be here. I detected a large magic source which… could have only come from the baron since he’s so magical.” The gnome quickly shook his head and hands. “I mean, he has so much magic power that it could only have been him.”

“Well, he’s not! He’s facing the abomination with the heroine Liandra.” Amelia walked up to the metal colossus, not letting the gnome out of sight. “Leave it to a gnome to mess things up.”

“I didn’t mess anything up,” Switches said defensively. “This was all part of the plan. I came here deliberately to assist you… whoever you are. It’s clear that you wouldn’t have made it without my help.”

Technically, he was correct. His misguided interference had knocked out all the cursed inhabitants of Rosewind, along with Avid. One could say that he had improved the situation. Naturally, after everything that had happened, Amelia would never admit it.

“What did I help you do, again?” the gnome asked.

While the two were attempting to cram two different conversations into a single interaction, a person entered the room. He was just an ordinary, passably well-dressed resident of Rosewind. Looking closely at his attire, one might correctly assume that he was a tailor. One might even assume that he was an unfortunate captive seeking a way out of the cursed estate.

“Who’s that?” The gnome asked.

In truth, Amelia had no idea, either. However, she had been through this before.

“Charge up your lighting thing,” she whispered.

“Err, that won’t be a good idea,” the gnome said evasively. “The d—” he paused and cleared his throat. “The baron wanted me to be done as quickly as possible, so I had to cut a few corners. Not that it won’t work, but it might… Why do you want to waste it on a single person?”

“It’s not about the person…”

As Amelia said that several more people entered the room. They were unarmed, walking slowly, as if in a daze.

“It’s about those with him.”

“Hah! I’m not worried. This baby can withstand hundreds of armed enemies. It would take more than a few possessed villagers to scratch it.”

The trickle of people turned into a stream. Dozens rushed in from the neighboring chamber, intent on maintaining the remaining integrity of the necromancer’s collection of treasures. Then, the skeletons poured in. Like an army of rattling ants, they charged at the colossus, considering it the greatest threat.

“Octavian!” Amelia reached up, so that the griffin could lift her into the air once more.

Now, Switches was slightly concerned. Levers were frantically pulled, closing the compartment just as several skeletons leaped at it. Adjusting the zapping power of his construction to its maximum, he pulled the appropriate levers.

A loud humming accompanied the built-up energy, creating a bright glow around the end of the four arms. Just as it neared the point of release, there was a loud pop.

The gnome’s ears perked up. No pops were expected at this point in the procedure. To make matters worse, the noise was accompanied by a dramatic decrease in energy output.

“What the heck is this?!” a grumpy voice asked from the colossus itself—a very familiar grumpy voice.

“Dun—” Switches began. “I mean, Baron?”

“Switches?” the voice sounded surprised.

The greater confusion came from the fact that the dungeon couldn’t confirm what precisely was going on. It was like discovering that part of him wasn’t where it was supposed to be. Theo could sense every part of his main body. He could also sense every part of his avatar’s, and had a pretty good idea where Spok was, even if all sounds coming from there were muffled. In contrast, he had no idea where the part of him talking with the gnome was, and above all, why it was possible to talk to him in the first place.

“Yes, it’s me!” The gnome’s smile covered the majority of his face. “I’m here with your promised reinforcements.”

“Where’s here?”

“Err…” Switches looked at the screens in the control compartment. “Some sort of empty room. Lots of people are here, including some girl who said you sent her to find something.”

Theo didn’t have much faith in the gnome’s methods, yet if there was one thing the creature excelled at, it was mechanical marvels. For a moment, there seemed to be a glimmer of hope.

“I want you to—” Theo began, only to stop completely. “Switches,” he began in an accusatory tone, “How exactly are you able to talk to me?”

“Ah. Well, you see—”

“You stole a core fragment, didn’t you?!”

“Well.” Switches twiddled his thumbs, looking about the compartment with a marginally guilty expression. “Stole isn’t the right word. I just didn’t use everything you gave me for the creation of Spok’s pendant.”

“I knew it!”

“It’s not that bad. I needed a power source booster. I couldn’t get this to run with airship parts alone. This way I achieved lightning-fast results, and besides—”

“You’ve been siphoning energy from me?!”

“Just a little bit now and then. It’s so small you wouldn’t even notice. Hardly anything, really. Only now and then did I draw some to boost an ability or two.”

“I am out of energy!” Theo hissed. “I’m barely keeping it together!”

“Ah.” The gnome’s expression instantly changed. “That would explain why the second zap didn’t work,” he said, drumming on his chin with the fingers of his left hand.

Leave it to a gnome to mess things up. The dungeon groaned internally. It seemed that this would be the way he’d end—transformed into an obsessed collector by a conflicted abomination. Maybe he should just give in and ignore that part of his consciousness that kept resisting. If anything, he’d lead a much calmer life, at least until the heroes showed up. At least then he wouldn’t have to deal with annoyances such as Cmyk, Switches, or those pesky adventurer kids.

Adventurer kids? The dungeon stopped. The train of thought had led him to an interesting possibility. It was a chance in a million, but he’d be damned if he didn’t try it.

“You said the kids were there, right?” Theo asked.

“Well, there’s a girl,” Switches replied. “A few hundred other people, and just as many skeletons…”

“Is there a mana gem there?”

“There might be?” The gnome glanced at one of the colossus’ instruments. “I did detect a spike in mana readings. I actually thought that it might be you here. Heh, heh, heh.”

“Get it and send it to me!” Theo shouted.

Like a dear through snow, the massive colossus plowed through the mass of skeletons and people piled around it.

“What are you doing?!” Amelia shouted, as Octavian flew around the construct.

Ignoring her, the construct reached out towards the source of mana. Its arm extended, shattering the finely crafted display to splinters, as it took an insignificant orange gem. The moment the metal piece came into contact with the jewel, it transformed into a glowing amber pyramid.

“Illusion magic,” Amelia said in disbelief.

In hindsight, it was natural that the greatest treasures would have several layers of protection. From what her tutors had said, illusion magic was highly unstable and prone to collapse on contact. She could have sworn that she had checked that particular display case, although it was difficult to be certain with all the people from Rosewind grabbing at her.

“I’ll get the hero scroll from Avid!” The girl looked in the noble’s direction. “Then we can send it to—”

“No need.” The colossus’ voice boomed.

Faster than the majority of human actions, its arm detracted, sliding into the massive metallic form. Having worked for dungeons the vast majority of his life, Switches knew more about them than most. He knew a lot of their habits, their capabilities, and their conditions. It was an established fact that only a dungeon’s core could assimilate potent cores and mana gems. However, nothing said that the core had to be located in the dungeon’s main body.

“Get ready for a boost!” Switches shouted in maniacal fashion, then thrust the mana gem straight into the colossus’ power source.

YOU HAVE ADVANCED TO RANK 3!

YOUR DEVASTATING HUNGER HAS BEEN SATIATED!

A surge of energy swept through Theo the instant the gem came into contact with his core fragment. The sensation of hunger and being pulled apart ceased, making him feel better than he had in days. The abomination’s corruption was still causing him to rapidly expand, even more so now that he was no longer limited by energy constraints. It wouldn’t be long before he was driven back to his wretched state. Realistically, he had moments to react, but those few moments made all the difference.

“Liandra!” the avatar shouted. “I’m relying on you!”

Theo cast his ultra swiftness. The point of that was to allow him to cast what he really wanted.

Sensing something amiss, the abomination diverted five clusters of blood strands from Liandra towards the avatar. Unfortunately for her, that was precisely what the dungeon wanted.

Spending half of his newly accumulated energy in one massive burst, he focused on his blessed lightning ability. Sparks and bolts burst out of the baron. Lethal to anything cursed, they swept through the throne room and beyond, disintegrating bone and blood alike, while not harming a single hair of the cursed humans.

“Mommy!” the ruby ring and golden monocle screamed in pain as they melted away as fast as the bones covering their puppets.

In all but an instant, Liandra was free again. There were no strands attached to her, no skeletons or bone walls obscuring her line of sight towards the abomination. As she had told the baron, all she needed was a single opportunity for attack, and he had just provided it.

A golden glow surrounded the sword, brighter than anything Theo had seen. Its mere presence burned the skin of his avatar as if he were naked beneath a scorching sun. Then, the heroic strike was unleashed.

Slicing through the air like light through darkness, it passed inches from Baron d’Argent, striking Agonia dead center. The abomination had attempted to cocoon herself against the avatar’s lightning, but her defense was no match for the full force of a hero.

Before the abomination could scream, the golden light had enveloped her, evaporating her form into nothingness. Alas, that wasn’t the whole of her.

“Nice try.” Agonia’s voice echoed in the dungeon’s mind. “I’ve still won.”

A single strand of blood had managed to survive, shielded by the avatar’s body. It was merely a drop, but a drop was all it took for the abomination’s corruption to continue. Even now, Theo felt a deep urge to keep it alive as a trophy to add to his collection of notable victories.

“Not this time,” he whispered, using what was left of his energy to combine ice and memory magic.

A new spell took shape—a memory prison given solid form—imprisoning what was left of the abomination in an inescapable ice cube. Visually, it was far from impressive. Many would mistake it as part of an exotic cocktail served at parties. In reality, it was far more. While not as visually impressive as Memoria’s tomb, it was just as powerful, made from a substance that isolated her presence from the rest of the world.

CONGRATULATIONS!

You have captured Agonia, the Abomination of Fulfillment!

While you still lack the ability to destroy her, your rank allows you to keep her imprisoned for as long as you exist.

“Great,” the avatar muttered, feeling the collecting obsession leave him, ending the massive expansion of Rosewind.

Slowly, he reached into his stomach, taking out the cube containing Agonia. On the surface, there was no indication of the chaos it contained. Even so, he needed to get the hero scroll from Avid and send it away before anyone found out.

The castle trembled violently yet again. This time, it wasn’t due to Switches’ involvement, but the overpowered lightning blast he had cast. With centuries of curses being dissolved, there was nothing to hold the castle whole for long.

“We did it.” Liandra made her way to the avatar. Although in better shape, her wounds and exhaustion were starting to catch up.

“We must get out of here.” The baron closed his eyes. It was getting difficult for the dungeon to think clearly. “Switches, use the gliders,” he muttered from all his parts at once. “Get everyone back safely.”

His vision became blurry. Partial images popped in and out as they faded away. He could see Spok and Earl Rosewind hidden in the castle’s council chamber, parts of the new section he had created, Cmyk standing amid a crowd of people who were just coming to.

“It’s Sir Myk!” someone shouted. “He saved us once more!”

You’ve got to be kidding me! Theo lost consciousness.