The Hodgepodge Shinobi: A Gacha-Gone-Wrong Adventure

We were supposed to be gathering herbs. That's what the mission scroll said: "Retrieve six medicinal plants from the forest east of the training fields. Minimal danger. No combat expected."

Which is how I knew we were definitely going to die.

Ren led the group with terrifying efficiency, checking landmarks and muttering botanical names like she'd memorized a medical manual in the womb. Jun followed with a smug sort of shuffle, pausing every few minutes to toss rocks and mutter insults under his breath.

I brought up the rear, where I belonged—anxious, underfed, and half-sure that every plant in this cursed forest was secretly a venomous chakra sponge.

We'd been walking maybe twenty minutes before the system pinged.

Environmental Trigger Detected.

Emotional State: Hunger + Insecurity + Desperation

Initiating Synapse Spark…

Fusing: "Survival Instinct" + "Botany" + "Unfocused Rage"

Result: New Skill Acquired – "Herbal Wrath: Aggressive Weed Detection Mode"

"…Excuse me?"

The world shifted.

Suddenly, I could sense plants. Feel them. Or at least, I thought I could. They vibrated in my skull like tiny, leafy guilt pangs. That bush to the left? Bitterness. The root under my foot? Definitely offended. That fern to my right?

You are standing on Firemint. It is judging you.

"Oh gods it's sentient—"

"Stop talking to the dirt," Ren hissed from ahead. "You're going to scare the rabbits."

"I don't think the rabbits are the problem," I mumbled, lifting my foot off the very offended Firemint. "This whole forest has chakra-based emotional issues."

Jun snorted. "You have emotional issues."

I didn't respond. Mostly because I was now vibrating with what I can only describe as botanical anxiety.

To be fair: the system worked. Too well.

I was finding herbs like crazy. Firemint. Bitterroot. Something that might've been Moongrass but smelled like shoe.

They came to me. Like I was some kind of floral prophet.

Herb collected: Cloudleaf

Status effect: Slightly calming. Smells like rain and crushed disappointment.

Herb collected: Ghost Nettle

Caution: Do not sniff directly. Side effect: mild numbness and spiritual disassociation.

"Alex," Ren called, eye twitching, "why are you smiling at that thorn bush like it told you a joke?"

"Because it's funnier than Jun."

Jun threw a pebble at me.

I let it hit me. I deserved that one.

The mission should have ended there—easy success, minor chakra drain, some spiritual plant therapy.

But no. This was my life now.

As we approached the last marker on the map, the ground shifted slightly beneath us. A familiar, nauseating hum buzzed in my head.

Alert: Local chakra signature detected. Type: C-rank hostile. Camouflaged.

Initiating protocol: "Run or Regret."

Suggestion: Regret.

I turned to shout a warning when something burst from the underbrush with a gurgling screech.

It looked like a cross between a wild boar and an overcooked yam, coated in moss and spines, eyes glowing with barely-contained forest spite. A chakra-beast. Of course.

Jun screamed and jumped behind a log. Ren drew a kunai like a professional.

I instinctively screamed, "Spoon Slap Defense Mode!"

Nothing happened.

"Wait—WHY IS IT ON COOLDOWN?!"

The beast roared and charged.

Ren dodged left. Jun flailed backward. I, having the reflexes of a confused bird, tripped over my own feet and landed directly in front of the thing's gaping, mossy mouth.

Emergency Override Engaged.

Fusing: "Panic Response" + "Herb Knowledge" + "Poor Aim"

Result: Botanical Barrier Technique – Unstable Bloom Variant

A burst of green exploded from my palms.

Leaves. Flowers. Twisting vines. A literal wall of aggressively sprouting foliage surged between me and the beast, slapping it backward with a wet, chlorophyll-splattered thud.

It stared at me.

I stared back.

Then it snorted, turned around, and ran.

I collapsed to the forest floor, twitching slightly.

Ren approached cautiously, still holding her kunai. "What… was that?"

"I think I just weaponized flowers," I wheezed. "I am the forest now."

Jun peeked from behind a bush. "That was the stupidest thing I've ever seen. But also maybe the coolest."

"I accept both interpretations."

We returned to the village just before sunset. Arata-sensei was waiting with his usual annoyed slouch.

"Well?" he asked, looking over his tea cup. "Any casualties? Property damage? Weird explosions?"

"None," Ren said.

"Technically," I added.

Arata stared at me. His eyes narrowed.

"You used it again, didn't you?"

"…Define 'it.'"

He turned, muttering something about "tracking bracelets" and "Root wanting updates."

I blinked. "Wait. Who's Root?"

Ren and Jun both turned away simultaneously, very deliberately not answering.

Great. Totally normal. No problems here.

Mission Complete!Herbs collected: ✅

Wild beast avoided: ✅

Weird new ability awakened: ✅

Your reputation: Slowly evolving from "Weird Kid" to "Possible Plant Deity"

Sleep recommended. Sanity not guaranteed.

I trudged back to my room, smelling like dirt and accidental respect.

And for just one quiet moment… I felt like I was actually doing okay.

Then the system whispered.

Next Synapse Spark unlocked.Prompt: Combine "Meditation" + "Invisibility" + "Paranoia."Ready to engage?

"…Oh no."