The Heavenly Miss Xiulan (Who Is Most Definitely Not a Boy)

Master Yuwei had expected many things when he agreed to take in the Forest's divine oddity, the famed "Heavenly Maiden". He had braced himself for divine thunder, cryptic forest language, runes that wiggled like river worms, and emotional explosions of the floral variety.

What he had not expected… was a tear-stained child grabbing his new inner robe, sobbing like a betrayed squirrel, and hiccupping about mushrooms.

"Uncle Hei promised the forest would be my home forever!" Xiulan sniffled, his eyes stormy with betrayal. "Now I'm in a place with too many rectangles and not a single whispering tree!"

He had refused to let go of the sleeve.

He had also, at some point, tried to crawl under the table in the reception hall to "dig a burrow of grief," only to be stopped by an elder who received a sharp kick and the words: "Don't touch a child in mourning!"

Master Yuwei, after three failed attempts to talk reason, sighed. He knelt beside the child, gathering him into a gentle hug, rubbing his back.

"There, there. Big boys—"

CRACK!

A thunderbolt rolled across the clear skies above the Cloud Soaring Sect.

The floor rumbled.

The skies above shimmered with golden clouds. The ancient mountain peaks trembled with the suppressed weight of celestial judgment.

Yuwei froze mid-sentence.

Xiulan lifted his puffy red eyes and muttered, "You said the word."

The heavens buzzed ominously.

Master Yuwei coughed.

"I meant—big… divine… forest beings."

The rumbling eased.

The golden cloud puffed slightly, like a sulky spirit being bribed with respect.

Xiulan sniffled again, nodding solemnly. "That's better."

The thunder did not strike, but a small crackle ran down a far peak. A warning.

Do not dare call the child a boy again.

Yuwei, the man who once subdued a flame roc with one hand, felt sweat form at the back of his neck.

He switched tactics.

"You're a strong spirit," he said reverently, "who needs to learn and grow so that you can protect your people. Learning," he added quickly, "is what divine forest spirits do when they love their friends."

Xiulan tilted his head. "Even Duoduo?"

"Yes. Even Duoduo."

"And Baby Po?"

Yuwei smiled. "Especially him."

Xiulan hiccupped and muttered something about planting radishes in the Sect Master's bed if they did not let Baby Po visit.

Within an hour, the tears had dried, and Xiulan was fed and snuggled beneath too many soft blankets (that were definitely meant for disciples twice his age). He had tried to grow "comfort mushrooms" under the bed using whispered beast runes, and then fallen asleep whispering good-luck bug chants.

Outside, Master Yuwei sat under the starry courtyard sky, feeling more like a father than a cultivator.

This child… this divine thunder magnet... was going to shake the heavens.

Not by storm.

But by crying until thunder was forced to politely wait.

He looked up.

The divine clouds were still faintly there. Watching.

He coughed and respectfully whispered, "Noted."

Then he turned his eyes back toward the room where Xiulan slept soundly, dreaming of green leaves, strange runes, and underground burrows.

"You're still young," Yuwei murmured, "but when you grow, I fear for the heavens more than I fear for you."

"The wind does not rise for the strong. It rises for the karmically fated." — Cloud Soaring Sect Proverb

The gates of Cloud Soaring Sect were rarely opened for children.

And yet, today, the jade doors parted in full bloom, their engraved talismans flickering like fireflies, welcoming a single figure clad in spirit-stitched forest robes — pale green silk trailing behind like mist, sandals bound with vine-thread, and wild green hair tinted softly with mint.

The child stood quietly, eyes wide, taking in the grand arc of the Cloud Soaring Sect's stone path. Behind him, clouds circled the peaks in respectful spirals.

He looked like a storybook immortal.

No one breathed.

One of the outer sect juniors whispered, "That… that must be a divine disciple."

"She's beautiful," another murmured, clutching their sleeves. "Like a blessing carved from the forest."

The child tilted his head. His lips curved slightly in confusion. "Are they staring?"

Master Yuwei, standing beside him in his embroidered rune-robe, gave a conspiratorial smile. "They're trying to figure out what kind of junior sister they've just been gifted by fate."

"I'm a boy," Xiulan said softly.

Yuwei nodded. "Yes. You are also adorable and wearing moon-silk, and I have decided not to explain anything to them. The last time I dreamed someone called you 'little brother' in front of the heavens, we lost an entire mountain trail."

"But nobody ever did that, we just arrived."

"I foresaw and believe in your divinity."

Above them, from the highest tier of the sect's main pavilion, Sect Master Daozun Qianzheng, Grandmaster of Still Winds, watched in serene silence.

Elder Mei Lan, of the Inner Scripture Hall, stood at his side, her elegant sleeve hiding a half-written scroll already titled "Maiden of Verdant Light".

"She's smaller than I imagined," Mei Lan mused aloud.

"High-yin aura," murmured another voice. Elder Yu Shang, head of the Weapon Hall and eldest direct disciple, narrowed his eyes. "And forest qi. That robe is stitched from thundercloud silk and squirrel thread."

"Ridiculous. That is beast-cultivator tailoring," Elder Mei Lan said, fanning herself. "Where did Yuwei even find this child?"

"Found him," Daozun said calmly.

The sky rumbled lightly.

Daozun raised one brow — not at anyone in particular — and the wind instantly calmed.

The Elders knew what that meant. No one would be questioning this child's gender out loud again.

As Xiulan walked slowly up the central path, guided by his Shifu, all tiers of disciples stood in polite formation.

The Core Disciples whispered among themselves:

"She walks like a spirit."

"He. He walks like a spirit," one tried to correct. Divine thundered in wake.

"I do not care. Look at those sleeves!"

From the Inner Sect: "Do you think she will be our junior?"

"Look at the soft aura! It feels like standing in dew."

From the Outer Sect, someone sighed, "I hope they do not expect us to keep up in farming. That is clearly a divine sprout child."

Xiulan bowed politely to each group. The wind swirled playfully around his ankles. A few flower petals dared to bloom just at the touch of his qi.

"Is that… spontaneous flora response?" whispered a talisman researcher. "Does the child emit spiritual photosynthesis?!"

"No way. That is a top-tier nature qi signature. Possibly divine-class."

"Should we… start writing odes?"

"Yes," someone said instantly. "Yes, we should."

At the Verdant Pavilion, where Xiulan would live under Master Yuwei's care, the quiet chaos only continued.

A disciple knocked three times before entering — a core level cultivator by the name of Li Wen, known across the sect for her swordsmanship, sharp tongue, and violent defense of "feminine honor."

The moment she laid eyes on Xiulan, her expression changed completely.

Her pupils dilated like she had seen a dream.

She dropped her sword.

"You… you're…" she faltered, then dropped to one knee. "Do not worry, junior sister. I shall protect you."

Xiulan blinked. "Oh no, not again."

Li Wen turned to Yuwei, determined. "I shall strike down any man who dares offend her!"

Master Yuwei rubbed his temples. "...Fine. Yes. Guard away."

Xiulan tugged his sleeves. "Shifu. I am a—"

"I know, little sprout," he said with a wink. "But let her protect you. It builds morale."

Later that night, Xiulan sat by his window, staring at the moon.

He had been gifted three sets of outer robes, eight jars of celestial lotion, two scrolls of protective formations, and a sword he could not lift.

He had also been offered three marriage proposals from inner sect disciples.

His cabbage seeds were confiscated at the gate for being too radiant.

"I miss moss," he mumbled.

Xiulan scribbled in his leaf diary that night:

Day 1 — Cloud Soaring Sect:

They called me divine.

I accidentally healed a bird by petting it.

Shifu told me not to say anything about my gender unless I wanted to see another lightning storm.

The Sect Master raised one eyebrow and now the elders think I am sacred.

I made eye contact with a duck today. It nodded.

I think that was an initiation.

I will try again tomorrow.