The Guide to Conquering Earthlings

Chapter 33

After experiencing the bizarre extortion attempt, Xie Cheng felt mentally exhausted.

He had just calmed himself down under a tree when he saw Lan Xi leading those swindlers back towards him. The arrogance had now left the swindlers, replaced by sheepishness and respect.

"Apologize!"

At Lan Xi's authoritative order, the men bowed in unison —

"We're very sorry, big brother!"

Before Xie Cheng could express his speechlessness, Lan Xi cleared her throat and began persuading: "Xie Cheng, this is what happened. I just had a long talk with them and found out they are actually my fellow villagers who came to the city to find work and make a living. They were tricked by someone into causing trouble for you, which led to this incident."

"They've now revealed the person behind it all to be Dong Ying. They know they were in the wrong and are willing to make amends and turn over a new leaf. Since no serious harm was done, can you forgive them?"

Dong Ying?

Xie Cheng's brows furrowed slightly. Dong Ying had seemed quite clever. Would she really hire these men of obvious diminished mental capacity to cause him trouble?

"The accusations you made against me earlier, those were also taught by Dong Ying?"

The man who had shouted the loudest earlier now hung his head like a quail: "We came up with that ourselves."

He then raised his head ingratiatingly at Xie Cheng with a smile: "Big brother, don't worry. I'll handle all those people who recorded videos. I absolutely won't let those videos get out and damage your reputation. I'll make sure your shining image lasts forever!"

"..."

Xie Cheng realized what this familiar feeling was.

He wasn't even dead yet, but his image was already going to last forever.

Meanwhile, Lan Xi beside him didn't notice anything amiss at all. She kept peering at him obediently, her eyes conveying her hope that he would show leniency to her fellow villagers.

Xie Cheng rubbed his brow: "Is there something wrong with the soil and water where you're from?"

"Hm?"

"The old saying goes that the land nurtures its people. It really rings true."

Was there something sinister about Lan Xi's rural hometown that gathered social misfits and people of low IQ from all over the universe?

But this wasn't something he could let slide. Xie Cheng recalled his earlier helplessness and embarrassment at being unable to defend himself, and felt he still needed to handle this strictly.

However...

As he frowned, preparing to issue a final warning, Lan Xi suddenly moved closer to him. Rising on her tiptoes, she planted a kiss on Xie Cheng's cheek.

"Please, Xie Cheng?"

The instigator showed no embarrassment whatsoever at her actions, behaving so naturally that Xie Cheng began questioning if it had been an illusion.

Lan Xi was still staring straight at him: "Come on, please? I know you're a good person. I really liked you before and I still really like you now. And I'll keep on liking you in the future. My fellow villagers are pitiful. Our village is very poor and they don't know much about the world. Just forgive them this once..."

Xie Cheng was loathe to admit it, but in this moment, gazed upon by Lan Xi with such trusting and pleading eyes, he truly wavered.

He glanced at Lan Xi's idiotic fellow villagers. Somehow, even they were becoming less unpleasant to behold.

It made sense, he considered. Coming from such a remote village, there surely was no prenatal screening, no emphasis on eugenics, so all kinds of simpletons would be born. They clearly lacked education as well, improperly using idioms was only natural. Even basic knowledge like men can't get pregnant was unfamiliar, showcasing an absence of even normal common sense. Their IQ was probably in the single digits if tested. As such disadvantaged groups in society, he really shouldn't nitpick at them either. They seemed more normal now, at least not endangering society anymore, so he could let it slide...

"Big brother, we like you too. We like you now and will keep liking you in the future..."

But before Xie Cheng could make his final decision, the man who had claimed to be pregnant with his child aggressively approached him once more. His voice resumed its previous loudness as he made a declaration, then moved in close to Xie Cheng's face, pursed his lips, seemingly about to plant them on Xie Cheng's face.

"What are you doing?! Are you trying to kiss me?!"

Fortunately, Xie Cheng reacted quickly enough to narrowly avoid this catastrophe.

The other man was utterly shameless about it however: "I just wanted to also express my fondness and trust for big brother."

"That won't be necessary." Xie Cheng felt his scalp tingle and his skin crawl. "Stop. I won't pursue this matter further, but I also don't need your affections. Take them back and give them to someone else."

Hearing that he would no longer pursue the matter, smiles broke out on the group of fools' faces. "Of course, big brother! We'll definitely repay your kindness!"

After exchanging looks with one another, the group of men then left.

Xie Cheng watched their departing figures and finally relaxed.

It was also then that he had no choice but to resume the earlier mood from Lan Xi's earlier "surprise attack".

Was she always so impulsive?

Kissing him in front of all those people?

Xie Cheng felt it necessary to discuss proper boundaries with Lan Xi, but Lan Xi didn't give him the chance. She grabbed Xie Cheng's hand and headed in the direction of the rollercoaster they had ridden before. "Let's go, let's ride the rollercoaster!"

Due to the earlier extortion incident requiring them to leave the line, the queue was even longer than before now, thoroughly killing Xie Cheng's enthusiasm. But Lan Xi remained optimistic.

"I have a way. No need to line up. We can also use the priority lane later. I'll handle it." She winked at Xie Cheng mysteriously. "My fellow villagers will make amends. They'll make arrangements for us."

Xie Cheng knew that besides the official channels, scalped tickets for skipping the line also existed. So Lan Xi's unreliable fellow villagers had channels for overpriced scalped tickets?

It seemed forgiving them wasn't completely without merit after all.

Soon however, Xie Cheng wished he could time travel five minutes back to take back his words.

He had just followed Lan Xi to the end of the rollercoaster queue when a resounding voice echoed from the front of the line —

"Big brother!!! Come to the front! Cut in here! I got it all arranged for you!! Show up and cut anytime, skip the line carefreely!! With me here, no worries about cutting in line!!"

"..."

There was something inexplicable about Lan Xi's fellow villager. His intelligence might be lacking but his voice was astoundingly loud, basically a human megaphone resounding through the entire amusement park.

It was as if worried Xie Cheng couldn't hear him and he incessantly repeated —

"Big brother Xie Cheng! Come cut in line! I'm waiting for you at the front!"

"..."

Other people were looking his way now.

Due to the earlier extortion incident, some bystanders still remembered Xie Cheng's name.

Under these condemning gazes, Xie Cheng maintained perfect composure.

He straightened his clothes and faced the skeptical elderly lady in front of the line with an expressionless face —

"I'm not Xie Cheng."

Xie Cheng heard himself say calmly and convincingly, "That man just mistook me for someone else."

The elderly lady clucked her tongue. "That's good then. This Xie Cheng doesn't sound like someone of high character at all. Everyone's properly lining up yet he still shamelessly and overtly wants to cut in line. What kind of person is that?!"

Xie Cheng felt extremely frustrated internally but still calmly and coolly nodded. "Yes, terrible character."

...

In the end, Xie Cheng left the rollercoaster queue with a dark expression on his face, forcibly pulling Lan Xi alongside him. It seemed he was trying hard to restrain some emotions. After a moment, he finally calmed down and looked at Lan Xi helplessly.

He should have known better. How many times had he tripped over himself because of Lan Xi? Why wasn't he tired of being duped yet, actually trying to believe she would have any normal solution...

...

Lan Xi however didn't know Xie Cheng's thoughts. She only felt extremely bewildered. "Xie Cheng, why did that auntie scold you earlier? And why did you say you weren't Xie Cheng? We could've cut in line just now so why did we leave?"

Lan Xi actually felt quite aggrieved. "Cutting in line isn't against the law. I didn't see it listed as an offense punishable by law..."

Xie Cheng's face was dark, seemingly furious and barely keeping some emotions in check. After a while, he finally calmed down and looked at Lan Xi helplessly. "While it's true cutting in line isn't illegal, it's very uncivil."

"Oh! I wanted to ask earlier too." Lan Xi secretly sidled closer to Xie Cheng and whispered, "What exactly is 'civilness'? I'm not very clear about it. Can you explain it to me?"

The vocabulary of Earth people is broad and profound. Lan Xi could quickly and fluently understand many words that corresponded to objects or actions, but the word "quality", she did not know what specific thing it was. She felt like she could not see or touch it. Although Lan Xi had seen the word "quality" in the Guide before, the Guide did not give a detailed explanation.

Originally, Lan Xi would not ask such puzzling questions directly. However, after a period of teaching guidance, she realized that even her very peculiar questions, Xie Cheng although speechless, never ridiculed her and would even patiently answer her questions. Over time, whenever Lan Xi encountered a problem, she would become a "gimme pig" who lazily asked Xie Cheng directly.

Regarding this question, Xie Cheng did indeed answer her.

It was just that this time the expressionless Xie Cheng answered her, "It's hard to explain to you."

"Why is that?"

"Because you probably don't have such a thing..." Xie Cheng rubbed his brow more and more frequently, "You'd better not ask anymore, because if you keep asking, my quality will disappear too."

"..."

Xie Cheng looked unhappy. Lan Xi felt that she really shouldn't ask anymore. After all, she was a Mu Yi Star person, and probably really did not have such a thing called quality. The more she asked, the more she exposed. It was better to stop there!

If there was no quality, then there was none. It didn't affect her life anyway!

However, Xie Cheng refused to continue queuing and waiting for the roller coaster. Lan Xi was pulled by him to another place.

"There are still many projects in the amusement park that don't require queuing. I'll take you to play those projects first. When it's almost closing time, we'll go line up for the popular projects again. There will be fewer people by then."

As soon as Xie Cheng finished speaking, his cell phone rang. He glanced at Lan Xi, "Wait for me, I'll take this call."

Lan Xi nodded.

While Xie Cheng was on the phone, she didn't idle either. She made a face at several Mu Yi Star followers who had been sneakily tailing her not far away. They didn't get to ride the roller coaster, so it was an unsuccessful start. They had better perform well at other things.

Sure enough, when they saw Lan Xi's expression, the few people in the crowd immediately returned a respectful look. One of them silently mouthed:

"Princess! Please wait! Romance will be arranged for you immediately!"

Lan Xi breathed a sigh of relief. As long as there was a romantic atmosphere, it was fine. She was already rubbing her palms in anticipation. The moment to completely conquer Xie Cheng had arrived.

It was then that Xie Cheng seemed to have finished his call and was walking towards Lan Xi.

A handsome man, with vigorous masculinity, a model-like figure, an undelible elegance in his every move, and barely concealed noble temperament. Such a man was walking towards you and staring at you face-to-face.

Lan Xi didn't know what had gotten into her. For an instant, she was looked at by Xie Cheng's gaze and her heart beat a little faster, and she even felt a little nervous.

Although the amusement park was extremely noisy, and there were crowds of people around Xie Cheng, Lan Xi oddly felt that at a certain moment, when Xie Cheng walked towards her, it was as if everything around them had paused and was muted. All she could see clearly in her field of vision was Xie Cheng.

Lan Xi had read in the Guide to Conquering Earth People that romance would make one's heart beat faster, make one blush and become nervous, and even become timid. There would be fiery heat and apprehension in one's heart. She touched her chest. It seemed like she had all these symptoms.

So was this the romance of Earth people?

She couldn't believe that her few "fellow countrymen" had arranged it so reliably that the romantic atmosphere was in place so quickly. Xie Cheng did look good and had temperament. What was most unforgettable were his eyes, which were often icy cold with a hint of keep out frost that was very captivating...

As Lan Xi thought this, she couldn't help raising her avoided gaze again, wanting to sneak a peek at Xie Cheng's eyes when...

When she shouldn't have looked, Lan Xi was badly frightened.

In the clear sky without a cloud for thousands of miles, there was a large black cloud floating above Xie Cheng's head that was drifting towards Lan Xi. It looked like it was about to rain...

So the ability to control clouds and rain was real after all.

But with just one black cloud above his head in this vast clear sky was a bit too deliberate! Could it not be more natural? Afraid no one would notice something was off!

Probably feeling something strange above his head, Xie Cheng's previous model catwalk was forcibly interrupted. Lan Xi saw him stop and look up suspiciously.

He stopped, but the cloud didn't. It continued drifting towards Lan Xi's head...

Not far away, Lan Xi's few "fellow countrymen" were winking at her: "Princess! Rainy romance is arranged for you immediately! Hope you like it! Everything else is also ready!"

After whispering, they hurried away.

Almost at the same time, the cloud drifted right above Lan Xi's head and stopped steadily. Then—

Splash!

Rain poured down on Lan Xi's head.

Lan Xi was drenched from head to toe.

Xie Cheng didn't use an umbrella when walking in the rain, but she didn't like it!

What kind of romance was this!

Besides, shouldn't this freak rain be falling on Xie Cheng's head? How come Xie Cheng was still safe and sound standing not far away while she was the one getting rained on!

Lan Xi was furious. She tried to get rid of that small black cloud, but it was all futile. The cloud seemed to be stuck to her head. As Lan Xi moved, the cloud floated along with her steps, eventually settling steadily on her. It was like playing chase. This oppressive cloud was like chewing gum that Lan Xi couldn't shake off. Wherever Lan Xi went, it rained there...

The cloud seemed to be aimed at her, and the rain wasn't steady either. One moment it was drizzling, the next it turned to moderate rain... If Lan Xi didn't pay attention, the moderate rain would directly turn into heavy rain.

Because it was raining heavily within a few meters centered around Lan Xi, the bustling crowds around them before had run away. Even Xie Cheng who was barely standing right outside the rain's perimeter wasn't surrounded by anyone now.

The rain came down, and within two meters no one was around anymore. Everything was in accordance with Lan Xi's requirements, but everything was wrong too!

The rain above her head had turned into heavy rain. Lan Xi's whole person was drenched like a drowned rat. Her hair was plastered to her face and her clothes were soggy and dripping...

This had long departed from the atmosphere of a romance film, and directly entered into a disaster film...

This rain was much bigger than last time when she went to visit a client. No matter how much one liked walking in the rain, one probably couldn't bear such heavy rain.

Moreover, the Guide to Conquering Earth People said that to be romantic and attractive, to seduce Earth men, women must have exquisite makeup and dresses. But now, Lan Xi's originally carefully made-up appearance had been washed by the heavy rain into that of a water ghost...

As for atmosphere... Forget about new romance sprouting up, even the little bit of original romantic atmosphere was now completely gone.

She shouldn't have trusted those shady "fellow countrymen"! When she returned to Mu Yi Star, she would definitely catch all of them and throw them in jail!

Lan Xi really wanted to scold people, really wanted to take her troops to ask for an explanation, but those few "fellow countrymen" had long disappeared without a trace.

"What's going on?" Xie Cheng was puzzled for a moment, then pursed his lips and walked towards Lan Xi from not far away.

Although the weather report today said no rain, inaccurate forecasts happened often. But such a bizarre rain only over Lan Xi's head would be hard to explain scientifically...

Lan Xi felt a little guilty. The scene was indeed bizarre. But the more so it was, the more Lan Xi felt she couldn't show weakness, otherwise if her and those few "fellow countrymen's" identities were seen through...

"I...this has nothing to do with me...this rain, it might have suddenly rained. And, it could be the so-called local rain that they report on the weather forecast! You see, it completely confirms the local rain. And by coincidence, the local area above my head happens to have rain... Hahaha, isn't that such a coincidence..."

As a result, Xie Cheng glanced at Lan Xi, turned his head, and left.

"Hey... Xie Cheng... Wait a moment..."

Even if she was unlucky to be rained on, he didn't have to be like this...

In Lan Xi's heart, she cursed those few "fellow countrymen" from head to toe once more. For the first time, there was a stifled feeling in her heart, especially when seeing Xie Cheng's leaving back...

She had never been the sentimental type, nor was she fragile. In terms of strength, she was one of the best in the entire universe. As such, Lan Xi seldom felt distressed. However, this time, despite not being injured at all, she inexplicably felt as though someone had stabbed her heart, and a feeling of sour swelling swept over her.

She felt wronged and wanted to cry.

How could Xie Cheng do this!

Although being forced to stand in such heavy rain was very uncomfortable, and the weather around them had become overcast with the wind picking up, making it even more unpleasant after being drenched in rain, Lan Xi had not forcibly tried to make Xie Cheng stand in the rain with her. She had originally planned to ask Xie Cheng to stay away from her, but... There's a saying on Earth that goes "Share in the good fortune and share in the adversity", no? How could Xie Cheng do this?

Wait... Earth also has a saying, "When disaster strikes, a couple will abandon each other and flee", so...

Lan Xi was lost in thought when she was suddenly interrupted by a familiar voice—

"Put this on."

Before she could react, a piece of clothing was draped over her head.

Xie Cheng's voice was stiff and a little unnatural: "I was going to buy an umbrella, but for some reason my phone kept having signal issues with the mobile payment, I couldn't pay. My bank cards were all demagnetized too, couldn't swipe them either. You got cash? Give me some and I'll go buy one."

This must be Lan Xi's fellow "countrymen's" doing again...

Lan Xi felt a little guilty.

Xie Cheng glanced at her: "Wear my clothes first to block the rain."

After speaking, Xie Cheng took Lan Xi's phone from her hand and tried to turn on the screen, seeming somewhat surprised, "You don't even set a passcode lock?"

Lan Xi put on Xie Cheng's clothes, finally feeling a little warmer as her strength seemed to return to her body: "Because I live openly and honestly, I have nothing to hide!"

Xie Cheng ignored her. Holding her phone, his face sank as he strode briskly toward a nearby store.

The rain falling over Lan Xi's head showed no signs of letting up, and the wind blowing on her damp body made her feel cold. Yet for some reason, Lan Xi felt her heart grow warm. She had Xie Cheng's jacket covering her head, his masculine cologne lingering around her, and though he wasn't by her side, it seemed his shadow filled every corner and every inch around her.

Her heart inexplicably began beating faster. For the first time, Lan Xi experienced an indescribable unfamiliar sensation. Though nothing particularly happy had happened—in fact, things were still going rather poorly—she didn't feel frustrated or angry. Though her body felt cold, her heart peculiarly felt warm. And though this was a very ordinary scenario, for some reason she felt nervous and anxious—also for the first time in her life, Lan Xi cared about her identity...

In all of history, this was the first time such a strange thought had occurred to her—how nice it would be if she were an Earthling.

If she were from Earth, she would know how to handle this situation, she could carry on with Xie Cheng without hiding anything...

Unfortunately, Xie Cheng didn't give her much time to fantasize. Soon enough he came walking out with an umbrella in hand.

Xie Cheng had long legs and a tall, straight figure. He usually walked with dignity and an air about him, never too quickly or too slowly, always an appropriate elegant pace. But now he went against his usual style. Bringing with him a hint of panic and chaos, he jogged toward Lan Xi, still a youthful vigor in his step, like the fresh, clean scent of grass in spring blowing toward her in the wind and rain.

Like a ray of bright sunshine piercing through the long dreary rainy season.

Lan Xi's heart couldn't help but start beating quickly again.

She watched dumbly as Xie Cheng ran to her side and willingly ran into the dark clouds raining down only above her head, stepping from sunshine into the downpour without caring about the muddy rainwater splashing onto his pant legs, ignoring the raindrops blowing in with the wind dampening the hair by his forehead. He only lifted the umbrella over Lan Xi's head, manually constructing a space to block out the wind and rain for her.

"There, that's better."

Lan Xi looked up blankly at the pink canopy of the umbrella.

Xie Cheng cleared his throat, his voice a little awkward, "They only had extra large ones left."

Although it was very big...

"You could have gotten a small one for yourself and just stood where it wasn't raining."

Xie Cheng glanced at Lan Xi, his voice still sounding a bit off, "Since I already agreed to accompany you to the amusement park today, it would defeat the purpose if I went too far away. I keep my promises."

That was true too, however...

"Even if you wanted to walk side-by-side with me in the rain, you could have still bought two umbrellas!"

At this, Xie Cheng became unhappy. He glared at Lan Xi, perhaps also thoroughly drenched from the rain. His voice grew even more unnatural, and he avoided her gaze, "Why do you ask so many questions?"

His tone turned cold, "Is your salary very high? Looking at the balance in your bank account, it doesn't seem like much either. Buying two umbrellas costs money, I'm saving you money. What do you mean you openly and honestly don't set a passcode, I see no need for you to set a passcode given your limited balance."

"..." He made a fair point.

Lan Xi nodded profusely. In any case, with Xie Cheng here accompanying her and holding an umbrella for her, strangely, her mood inexplicably turned cheerful.

The rain continued pouring down even harder. With only one umbrella, Lan Xi had no choice but to stand very close to Xie Cheng.

Yet oddly enough, though Lan Xi was typically unaffected standing close to Xie Cheng, this time, she felt as if he were a strangely magnetic magnet. The closer she got, her whole body started reacting strangely, and she no longer felt like herself.

She grew a little nervous, her palms lightly sweating. With every inch Xie Cheng shifted closer, Lan Xi felt as if the very air had thinned.

Lan Xi secretly snuck glances at Xie Cheng beside her. Had this Earthling somehow drugged her?

She silently cheered herself on.

Pull yourself together, Lan Xi! You're a princess!

But the relentless rain continued falling upon Lan Xi. Left with no other choice, Lan Xi also knew she'd have to give up on the outdoor amusement park activities today. Fortunately, there were indoor venues. Holding the umbrella, Xie Cheng led her toward the nearest gift shop.

Lan Xi immediately grew cautious, "Are you going to buy souvenirs?"

They had agreed to spend Lan Xi's limited money today. With her tight budget, she had calculated down to every last penny, with absolutely nothing left for souvenir shopping.

But since today's goal was to completely win over Xie Cheng, and to demonstrate her attitude by spending money on him, naturally she had to flaunt her willingness to spare no expense for love.

Lan Xi gritted her teeth, ready to make huge sacrifices: "Go ahead and buy! I'll give up my late-night snack budget for you to get souvenirs!"

Xie Cheng glanced at her: "And how much is your snack budget?"

"100 dollars."

Lan Xi felt tremendous heartache. Possessing far greater strength than Earthlings, she also burned far more calories than them. Going without late-night snacks would leave her starving.

But that's not it at all! Lan Xi felt even more distressed, yet she endured: "Hurry up and pick something."

If she didn't buy now, she'd regret it later!

In fact, Lan Xi already regretted it. They should never have entered this gift shop, because there were far too many plush toys. Since the amusement park mascot was a penguin, the shop was filled with all kinds of adorable fluffy penguin plushes, which Lan Xi had zero resistance against.

But they really were expensive.

Seeing the price tags, Lan Xi knew her budget couldn't cover buying one of these soft penguin toys. She could only reluctantly yet affectionately stroke them again and again.

Perhaps these penguins were just too cute. As Lan Xi stood there petting them, she noticed a number of men walking past the shelves across from her, peering at her through the gaps between products on the shelves.

Those gazes were intense, some blatant, some furtive.

With the two shelves filled with nothing but penguin plushes, they seemed to be very popular.

On the other side, Xie Cheng seemed to have already picked out some souvenirs, but his previously steady gait came to an abrupt stop upon seeing Lan Xi. The man's face darkened as he quickly strode forward and reached out, grasping the suit jacket draped over Lan Xi's body and pulling it tighter around her in an unquestionably commanding tone: "Take that off, put this on properly."

Lan Xi didn't understand, but still grumbled as she slid her hands into the oversized sleeves.

Xie Cheng's clothes were far too big on her. She had already known he was exceptionally tall, but only upon switching from having the jacket draped over her shoulders to actually wearing his jacket did Lan Xi feel his size even more strongly—her hands were completely swallowed up by the long sleeves, like a child playing dress-up in adult clothing.

It was really a bit strange. What was even stranger was that, for some reason, all those men who had been stealing glances at the goods cabinet left as soon as Xie Cheng arrived.

Before Lan Xi could protest taking off the suit, Xie Cheng reached out and swiftly buttoned up every button from collar to hem with his long, slender fingers, not wasting any time.

But for some reason, as soon as he finished buttoning up and glanced at Lan Xi’s chest, he recoiled as if burned, averting his gaze. Yet his hands kept moving, quickly unbuttoning his own suit.

"Take it off," he said.

He must have realized how ugly he looked wearing this suit!

Lan Xi obligingly took it off and was about to return the suit to Xie Cheng when she saw him coming over with the suit again.

This time, he had turned the suit inside out. "Put it on backwards," he said.

???

Not giving Lan Xi a chance to retort, Xie Cheng wrapped the inside-out suit around her himself.

"We can check out now," he said, sounding a little odd as he handed Lan Xi a t-shirt. "I can't pay with my phone or bank card. I'll transfer you the money when I get back."

"No need, no need!" Now was the time to demonstrate her willingness to sacrifice!

Lan Xi put on a selfless expression. "I'll take care of it!"

The clothes weren't actually expensive, and Xie Cheng had kept the prices under control. Although Lan Xi didn't understand why, when he had so many expensive clothes, he'd chosen to buy this cheap, tacky t-shirt from a roadside stall with no design aesthetic, she didn't say a word. Gritting her teeth, she paid for him, wanting to showcase her willingness to spend money for love.

But as soon as Lan Xi finished paying,

Xie Cheng tossed the t-shirt into her hands.

Earthling romance -

was she expected to pay and serve?!

"You want me to carry this?"

Xie Cheng pressed his lips together briefly. "Go change."

Lan Xi was startled for a moment before shaking out the t-shirt and realizing it wasn't Xie Cheng's size at all, but hers.

"So you spent my money to buy something for me?" Lan Xi was torn between laughter and tears. "I don't need clothes."

They could still get a refund if the tag was intact!

Xie Cheng clearly knew what Lan Xi was thinking, because he grabbed her hand. "No returns. Go change."

He cast a furtive glance over Lan Xi. "Your clothes got wet in the rain earlier. Go put on something dry."

Lan Xi looked down at herself and reacted only then. Oh right, earthlings were more delicate than Mu Yi Star People - getting rained on a little could make them sick.

Her mood suddenly lightened. Xie Cheng thinking of these little details surely proved the emotional foundation of their previous conqueror-subject relationship was solid, right?

Lan Xi couldn't resist giving Xie Cheng a tender, loving look. "So you did it for my sake, right?"

Xie Cheng avoided her gaze, lightly clearing his throat with a complicated expression. But his voice was mocking. "Don't get ahead of yourself. I didn't do it for you, but for the sake of all the men present."

How was that connected? Lan Xi didn't get his logic at all. But in her eyes, this was clearly Xie Cheng caring for and cherishing her.

She happily went to change, and when she emerged from the bathroom, Xie Cheng immediately shoved something furry into her arms - a plush penguin.

"I don't like childish things. You can have it. They gave it to me for free anyway," he said coldly, moving his gaze away. His voice sounded a little odd. "They forced it on me just for participating in some event."

What luck! She wished she'd run into an event like that!

Lan Xi hurriedly hugged the penguin tight. "You said it yourself! So now it's mine!"

Xie Cheng glanced at her. "Who's fighting you for it?"

He walked off after leaving her with that line.

This time, Lan Xi obediently followed him instead of going back outside. She chose an indoor amusement park attraction, hugging her penguin. Although the indoor rides weren't as thrilling as the outdoor rollercoasters, Lan Xi had never been to an amusement park before and found everything inside novel and exciting. Just the carousel alone kept her dragging Xie Cheng on and off for five rides, but oddly, despite how fun it was, nearly every person queuing up besides Lan Xi and Xie Cheng was a short elementary schooler.

Towering above the huddled group of children, Xie Cheng stuck out like a crane among chickens. Compared to the rollercoaster lines, the carousel queue was short, the wait brief. But for some reason, despite being surrounded by a gaggle of chattering children, Xie Cheng's face radiated utter misery, visibly forcing himself to maintain composure under their observation. Still, he patiently accompanied Lan Xi for five repeat rides.

Actually, Lan Xi wanted a sixth ride, but in the lineup, one of the schoolchildren suddenly grabbed his mother eagerly upon spotting Xie Cheng. "Mom look! That uncle got a free penguin for answering the penguin quiz earlier!"

The boy complained, "You said penguins were too expensive! Why didn't you answer trivia for me so I could get one for free too!"

The mother patted her son's head. "That quiz had a hundred questions. You had to get over ninety right, and it probably took this uncle a while to finish. Not everyone can answer them all correctly..."

Huh? Didn't he say it was free for participating in some event?

Lan Xi turned back to look at Xie Cheng, whose expression was awful - lips pressed tight, clearly unhappy. Lan Xi had just opened her mouth when he preempted her warningly.

"Don't ask. Or you'll lose your penguin," he threatened sinisterly.

Lan Xi hugged her little penguin and didn't dare say anything more.

She wanted to turn around and ask the schoolkid for more details, but before she could, Xie Cheng was tugging her out of the carousel queue.

Xie Cheng somehow looked completely solemn and impartial. "You've gone on that ride too many times. Time to switch it up."

"......!"