NOVEL WEB Chapter 1
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The warm steam rising, the smell of juicy meat merging with salt and pepper filled the air.
As I sat by the campfire in the dark woods, the sight of the bubbling pot took me back to a nostalgic memory of campfires from my childhood training camp, but it was hard to resist the slurp coming from my mouth.
“SLURP.”
The camera wouldn’t catch that, right?
Only hyena-like trolls watching the broadcast would make a big fuss if I accidentally drooled or made a foolish face. They’d edit that moment into every clip and sell it as a meme.
Nah, even worse than that is if some weird meme is edited onto it, I’d really prefer to avoid that.
“Ha, that looks delicious…”
[‘KawaiiHorned’ donated 50,000!]
– Just got off work and catching the broadcast. What are you having for dinner?
“This? Hmm… What do you think it is?”
As I stood up to show the campfire directly to the audience that finally tuned in, the drone camera seemed to understand my intentions and began filming the campfire and the bubbling pot automatically.
Hiss, ah… I think I might drool.
Watching it simmer like a huge cauldron soup for hours, if I were really hungry, I would’ve chucked the cooking aside and just dived in.
Ah, no… I need to maintain my dignity as a civilized person!
-?? Why is the streamer actually cooking well?
-Oh, what’s going on?
-Why does it look appetizing? Is it soup?
-If it’s soup, then it’s totally legit.
-????
-I think I’ve come to the wrong channel.
-Not serving sandworm raw meat today?
-What the heck?
-Neh??
-What raw meat are you talking about???
“I mean, if you try it, it’s actually pretty good!”
-What the f*
-Don’t get crazy on me!
-Noona, you’re still delightfully crazy.
“Are you treating me like something weird, you guys?”
-LOL Was a human?
-When was I not a human?
-Ah haha LOL Humans don’t eat stuff like that LOL
-For real LOL
-TMI: That girl did that and also made a soup from Bladed Centipede last time.
-Urgh, crap…
-What? What soup?
-Centipede soup LOL Lizard dish LOL
“Is that for real??”
-Yeah, it was a New Year special where she dug into a Bladed Centipede’s habitat in an A-level Dungeon and went on about ten ways to eat a Bladed Centipede while going wild with all the craziness.
-What the heck, can you actually eat that???
-I just ordered chicken, you know.
-Ugh, bleh…
“No, the centipede soup was really delicious! If I ever do a viewer participation event, I’d consider catching a Bladed Centipede and making soup for you guys.”
[‘Jjeoreojjeong’ donated 1,000!]
-I’m just gonna leave without eating. Looking at Noona’s face is enough for me…
[‘GyeongjuGisaCaqwa’ donated 30,000!]
-Selected by POFs, number one streamer people hate the most in real life.
[‘TenryenTenryen’ donated 10,000!]
-Noona, you’re all good, but… let’s not meet…
“It’s really delicious, okay? Or maybe I overcooked it?”
When I opened the lid, it looked just fine. It’s tough to control the flames outside, but the flame powered by my Seongnyeok is stronger than any modern device, so in terms of heat, it was excellent.
Set above the flame fueled by Seongnyeok was a large tin pot.
Steam floated up between the tin pot, making it look suspiciously delicious.
“This is definitely going to be good.”
A fitting amount of salt, not too much seasoning and pepper.
Garlic and onion added just right too.
Above all, I even added oyster sauce, the cheat key in cooking.
Surely the audience’s reaction would be…
-AAAAAAAH!
-LOLOLOLOLOL Crazy!
-What the hell is that?
-What the heck is that food…
-LOLOLOL Is that really food???
-No, seriously, why is the streamer doing adventures?
-You could just grill it or at least boil it, you know, you crazy person!
-Wow, crap…
-AHHHHH!
-How does that even work?
While watching the hologram chat window, I tilted my head.
What’s going on? This isn’t the reaction I expected…
“Strange. I clearly cooked it properly; does it really look that weird?”
-?
-Yes?
-?
-??
-Excuse me?
-Excuse me, excuse me?
-Are you insane?
-You eat that, you’ll die!
-They’ll be debating whether to die of a stomachache or not!
-LOL Is this the kind of broadcast here?
-The streamer’s putting on expressions, huh?
“No, I totally disinfected it before cooking, so there’s no way to get sick. Anyway, I won’t get sick no matter what I eat…”
[‘TenryenTenryen’ donated 10,000!]
-That’s not the point, Noona…
“Hm? Then what’s the issue?”
[‘GwaJangNimDaeMeoRiHalJjak’ donated 5,000!]
-Where in the world is there a person who cooks with a goblin head…?
“Eh…”
Only then did I realize why the audience was reacting strangely.
“Um… Maybe I should’ve taken the eyes out before boiling, huh?”
-?
-Yes?
-???
-What?
-Ugh, damn…
-This is why I watch the streamer.
-Noona, I’ll go die!
-Selected by POFs as the streamer with the worst face value.
“Um, eh… Is this not it?”
Seems I still… haven’t adjusted well to modernity.
Is my sensitivity off?
But… goblin head soup… looks delicious, right?
Beef head soup was tasty too…
Isn’t it?
Goblin — as those who know would know, are typically depicted as weak, filthy, and possessing intelligence resembling that of a beast in various fantasy media.
An average height of about a ten-year-old human child, with bizarrely ripped mouths and ears, they are deemed the lowest of the low among dungeon and gate monsters appearing after the Great Rift.
Filthy and small, yet they aren’t much of a threat.
Even students can easily take them down with just a weapon.
Still, though they could be wiped out, somehow a few of them manage to breed like cockroaches and survive.
But one mustn’t underestimate their numbers; there have been cases where careless female hunters were knocked out and dragged away by goblins in ambush!
Anyway… The goblin I hunted today is not your regular goblin.
Sure, goblins around the gate are among the lowest of the low, but there are many subtypes that derive or evolve from goblins, and indeed some even dominate as boss-like figures in dungeons.
“By the way, this is a Hobgoblin.”
-Oh?
-Hobgoblins are quite rare. But tonight is Noona’s dinner.
-Where did you catch that?
-Must be a new type of dungeon popping up along the West Coast?
-Oh, really?
-Yes, it was announced by the association a couple of days ago!
The one I caught this time was called a Hobgoblin, a subspecies of goblins.
Stronger, faster, and endowed with the intelligence necessary for skill development.
And what does intelligence mean?
“If the brain capacity is large, then you can have a larger brain, which means it’s super delicious.”
-Urgh, f*.
-I’m leaving here…
-Noona, please just stop…
-You’re driving me insane…
-“I might vomit all over…”
“Urgh, damn, please stop!”
“I’m telling you, before the Great Rift, I heard there was such a dish called monkey brain cooking in China, didn’t you ever try it?”
-?
-What the heck?
-What is that…
-When are you talking about?
-Who eats that?
-Seriously, is there such a food??
-You mean Chinese food?
-Urgh, damn…
-I think that’s on the ranking for the world’s most disgusting foods?
-That was something I saw on broadcasts before the Great Rift. It feels like ages since I heard it.
-Noona, you just turned out to be an old-fashioned person?
-Noona, please stop making nonsense.
“Um, yeah… I have no comment on age… cough…”
Gurgle…
The bubbling chat before it burst was also pretty amusing, but my hunger was at its limit.
Just to clarify, the hunger of a human and the hunger of this body are on another level.
When I get hungry, I seriously lose my sanity.
“…Ugh… Well, I have cooked it, so I guess I should give it a try?”
-It’s time to go have lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch, lunch…
-Stop the spam!
-Did the streamer really make that for eating??
-Wow, crap…
-Noona, please…
-Goblin head soup LOL I’m feeling dizzy!
“Right?! I’m telling you! I put in the effort to cook it!”
-LOOK! Look at how the streamer’s eyes just lit up at a fellow supporter!
-LOL You guys are no different from those who get thrilled upon seeing their favorite character’s appearance on screen.
-The chatters above are overreacting!
-Why do you feel guilty? You’re also just a geek!
-Don’t you see how childish you sound when you talk?
“Enough. Enough. That’s a bit too much. I’ll ban you if you keep that up!”
-?
-Shouldn’t the streamer be the one apologizing?
“Despite this, I’m a Seongnyeo. I’m used to getting insulted or framed without just cause. I can take most of the things you say lightly, but don’t insult me or anyone else carelessly, especially in a space where people came to watch together.”
-Oh…
-Why does it sound different?
-Give Noona back! Why is there a Seongnyeo here?
-Seeing this, sometimes she actually does seem like a Seongnyeo!
-True, but that’s only sometimes that we have a problem.
-What about you, immature guys, apologizing?
-LOL You forgot you messed with the streamer!
-My bad!
-You crossed the line, and also my bad!
“It’s okay. As long as you apologized, that’s enough.”
It wasn’t something said on purpose. I might just have to establish new chat rules soon. You can insult me, but just don’t fight!”