The Great Adventure

Of course, if you, the reader, are not stupid, you may know that penguins were kinda designed to swim in deep freezing water, so Bird safely made it to the shore within 10 minutes, easy squeezy lemon peasy. When he inevitably made it to the shore, Mushpuff and Snorter were baking Lemon Peasy and anticipating Bird’s arrival because they knew he was a penguin and wouldn't die. Plagiarize was still unconscious and bleeding.

“Okay we should probably get on the horse and go to town before Plagiarize dies,” said Mushpuff.

“I know but this Lemon Peasy is sooo good!” said Snorter in absolute pleasure because of how good the Lemon Peasy tasted. She was stuffing it in her mouth like a pig. Hahaha see what I did there?? I’m so funny.

The gang all got on the horse (Bird hung off of one of its feet), and Snorter brought the remaining three slices of Lemon Peasy with her for the journey. By the time they arrived at the town like 5 minutes later, the sun was setting on the lake and Snorter had finished all the slices. The town was built at a 60 degree angle or so on the side of the mountain, about half a kilometer above sea level, but still only halfway up the mountain. Tons of colored lights on strings were strung between all the houses and it was quite beautiful. In the center of town was a massive pointy tree covered in colorful glass balls, golden ribbons, more electric lights on strings, red-and-white striped candy shaped like hooks, and at the top, a massive golden star.

The gang was in awe. None of them knew what Christmas was, so this was a new sight for them. Plagiarize knew but he was unconscious. The three conscious members (and the horse) stood and stared at the tree for a good 5 minutes before the spiders found them.

“What are you doing in our town??” asked one of the many massive spiders from the crowd of massive spiders standing around them. “How did you find us?”

“We kinda crashed here, yo,” said Bird. “And now we simply need medical attention.”

“I think not!” said a booming voice from far in the back of the crowd, which was making its way forwards. When it made it to the front, the person to whom it belonged was revealed: a massive spider with a massive beard, black leather boots, and a big red fuzzy hat with a white ball at the top. “I am Spider Santa, the mayor of Christmas Town and the King of Christmas. If you wish to go, you must complete the three Christmas Trials.”

“We don’t wish to go, we wish for medical help!” said Bird. “Our friend lost an arm! And we also need ketchup for our ship. Oh, and our ship! We need help getting it out of the frozen lake! I guess there’s a lot we need.”

“Very well,” said Spider Santa. “We will provide an arm. Then you all must complete the three Christmas Trials. If you don’t, we will throw you off the side of the mountain.”

“Why do we have to do the Christmas Trials to earn our freedom?” asked Mushpuff.

“Shut up.”