The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

Crack, snap, squeak.

Twenty-seven bones make a bizarre sound as they crumble helplessly against the teeth.

Haaah…

The five branches that spread out are shredded, ground, and turned into a single chunk of meat without a trace of their former shape.

The taste, incomparable to anything I’ve eaten before.

The stomach that screamed in agony, the esophagus burning in flames, and the dry, cracked mouth welcome the refreshing rain that descends from the sky after a long absence.

So good.

Delicious.

Just a little more.

Just a little bit, more.

Crunch

A rich and heavy umami flooded my mouth. The more I chewed, the more I savored it, and I couldn’t stop until the meat in my mouth was completely ground down.

I chewed and chewed again.

I held myself in my arms, as if I believed this was the only thing that could save me.

A single believer, embraced by the truth, stood here.

So much so, my mind was solely focused on that pleasure.

Warmth spread throughout my body.

The cold monster’s blood seemed to gradually fade away.

As that happened, the unbearable pain that had invaded my body lessened, and the wave of emotions that had overtaken my reason began to calm.

Little by little, my sanity returned.

My blurry vision sharpened, and sounds from the surroundings began to reach me.

Haaah…

A small moan escaped my lips.

Gulp, I swallowed the last piece of meat that I couldn’t chew anymore, enjoying the feeling as it slowly went down my throat.

At the same time, my clearing mind posed a question about the food I’d eaten earlier.

I want to eat again.

What was that I just ate?

The fog that had clouded my mind began to clear.

Bit by bit, anxiety surged through me.

I must have committed an irreparable mistake, but I couldn’t remember what it was.

Stop it.

Don’t think about it.

Reason and instinct screamed for me to stop recalling anything further.

But I couldn’t escape this uncomfortable feeling, so I tried to recall.

What was it I just did?

Alice was here, right?

And where did the child who was in front of me go?

The moment that question came to mind, my warming body grew cold rapidly, and goosebumps spread across me.

It felt like I had recalled something I should never have.

“…Huh?”

Like a broken doll, my head slowly dropped.

Creak, the ungreased joints of a long-dormant doll seemed to move.

What the heck.

What happened?

The first thing I see is silver hair soaked in blood.

Beautiful hair that sparkled like the Milky Way was smeared with something dark red, as if painted.

The child lay on the ground, as if attacked by something.

“—Huh?”

Huh?

Huh…?

This can’t be right.

Why…?

The moment I saw Alice sprawled on the ground, my mind went blank.

My thoughts became a blank slate, trying to reject the horror laid before me.

But my body quietly performed the commands it had initially received, only lowering my head.

Bit by bit, slowly.

The truth was unveiled before my eyes.

At the same time, everything flooded back.

As my gaze lowered, I saw Alice kneeling on the floor, holding her other sleeve with her right hand, curling up.

Sounds I had been denying in my mind, sounds I had been ignoring despite hearing them, began to reach me.

A weak scream, like it was crawling on the ground.

I couldn’t help but hear it.

“U…Uah…Kha…A…”

“…Huh?”

The child clutched at her empty wrist, lying in a pool of blood on the ground, moaning.

Trembling all over, she did her best to stop the blood flowing from where she gripped her sleeve.

Drip.

A drop of blood, seeping through her clothes, fell into the puddle, causing a small ripple before melding into the pool.

From that single drop, blood burst forth like a fountain, spilling everywhere.

Splat.

The blood sprayed onto my face.

With trembling hands, I wiped the liquid off my face.

It was sticky and dark—

“Ah.”

The moment I realized that, I felt a scream bursting forth from my chest, tearing through the world.

What was this pool made of blood from?

Whose blood caused it?

What is this situation right now?

Having learned everything, I poured all the power within me and screamed into the void.

Tears bizarrely did not come.

All paths were blocked, and from the abyss where I could see no way out, only an overwhelming bleakness enveloped me.

Yes.

I despaired.

“—KIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!!!!!!!!”

A once-broken mirror cannot reflect anyone.

A fallen petal can never return to its branch.

I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.

I knelt before the curled-up Alice and silently begged for forgiveness a hundred times in my heart, a forgiveness that would never be accepted.

I’m sorry.

Really, I’m sorry.

“Hehe…Ah, ugh…Hehehh…O, unnie…”

“…Aah…”

Though I hurried to apply pressure to her wrist, Alice’s condition didn’t improve, likely due to the excessive blood she had already lost.

Her face, illuminated by the moonlight, lacked color, and her lips turned blue.

Her empty left sleeve fluttered weakly in the blowing wind.

Despite that, the child smiled up at me as if everything were perfectly fine.

I could not bear that more than anything else.

“What…are you looking at me like that…?!”

“….Hehe…”

“Stop looking at me like that—!!”

Despite my scolding, the child kept smiling faintly.

I could only feel guilt for raising my voice.

In her beautiful turquoise eyes, there was a cowardly face filled with fear.

As if they had become complete opposites of before.

The one who bore an unhealable wound wore a smile imbued with relief and a compassionate expression that embraced everything.

And the culprit of that pain wore a terrified expression, as if she herself were sad, screaming in agony.

That truth made me nauseous.

Nauseous over my attitude of evoking sympathy by playing the victim, as if I had been the one hurt.

The one truly suffering was this small child.

The child who had only a small branch as her only support, only to find that branch was a monster that deceived and devoured people.

Before this unfortunate child, who was not even allowed to lean on others.

How much did a kind-hearted child like her suffer at my betrayal? I couldn’t even begin to think.

That twisted creature, even after doing something unforgivable, pretended to be in pain.

I tried to vomit out the guilt that was consuming me by sticking my fingers in my mouth.

Drip, drip.

But no matter how much I wretched, all I coughed up were pieces of meat that had already been digested.

The child’s hands were beyond repair.

A miserable reality indicating that fact.

“—Just hate me!! This mad monster is right in front of you!!”

“Ah…Hehe…So, really…?”

“‘So, really’ is not the answer!! Why!! Why….are you like this….in this situation…”

Despite everything, Alice wouldn’t stop smiling.

Her smile only deepened with each glance at my contorted face.

“That’s why…it’s nice, you know…”

“…Huh?”

Slowly, her soft right hand caressed my cheek.

Trembling, the slow movement made me dumbly watch that action.

Before I knew it, the tears I had been shedding were wiped away by the small child’s hand.

“Elly…Unnie forgave me…? Because…Hehe…”

“—!?”

“From now on… I’m not a bad child… am I? Right…?”

Her trembling hand gradually moved away from my cheek, falling to the ground with a thud.

My body, touched by the child’s hand, felt as if it had frozen.

Ah.

Only then did I realize what I had misunderstood.

Arrogant and ignorant, selfishly only considering my own wounds.

A simple fact.

Just because I was hurting didn’t mean others weren’t.

That was it.

The ones who were wounded—the monster—were not just me.

I had been focusing solely on my pain, trivializing the suffering of others.

The child, no, the child of all, must have been hurt more than anyone.

I, drowning in my own tragedy, acted as if I were the only protagonist of the story.

“I’m sorry… I’m really sorry… don’t hate me… okay?”

“…Ah… Aah…!!”

“I’ll… I’ll bandage… again… so… Elly, I promise to listen… just like before… I’ll even read books for you…”

“—Aaaaah!!!”

This was all my sin.

Fearful of being abandoned, I bristled like a porcupine, attacking everything in sight.

Not being able to accept the only warmth that approached, doubting it, distrusting it, deceiving myself with false truths.

I cunningly deceived, seduced, and trained the child to look only at me.

Even though the child was ready to embrace everything, I postponed revealing the truth due to my lack of courage, creating this nightmare.

“—So, you won’t abandon me… right?”

“…..!!!!”

I cried.

In the depths of my anguished tears, the sun began to rise.

The nightmare of a midsummer night came to an end, just like that.

But the scars left by that nightmare shall endure forever.

Always, as it has before.

The sun rises, and a new day begins.

That was all.

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