The Girl Wants to Be M*rdered

For adventurers, a story that is more desperate and despairing than anything else, but also the most common.

Death.

And, sacrifice.

In a place where two should have died, one survived. The other saved a person.

Every adventurer carries their own tragedy within them.

“The life of an adventurer is, itself, a tragedy.”

Early morning, before the sun has even shown its face.

But for an adventurer who hates moving under the hot sun, this is the time when they can move more actively than ever.

“…..So many. Too many.”

A mountain of documents in front of me.

As my daily achievements increase, so does the amount of reports I have to write.

Should I like this, or not?

When we first gained our influence within the Royal Capital, I was so happy I wanted to toast, but had I known it would be like this, I would have settled in a quiet countryside.

Facing the endless pile of paper that shows no signs of diminishing after a whole day of work, I felt like a stream of curses would burst from my mouth, but I swallowed the words with my tea.

Bitter.

Is it because of fatigue? I couldn’t taste the red tea I love. It was just bitter and hot.

Just as I was sticking out my tongue to cool it down a bit, I realized an interruption had arrived.

Da-da-da-da!

“….What now… I’m going crazy, really.”

Loud footsteps echoed from outside the tightly shut door.

What news do they bring this time?

In the past, every time I heard that sound, my heart would drop and anxiety would take hold, but now it’s just annoying.

Bang! Whether they were rude or just didn’t care, the door was violently shoved open, slamming against the wall.

The expensive, red wallpaper I had adorned showed signs of damage from the collision.

A dented wall.

Ah.

“—Helena! Urgent news!?!”

“Is that your last words?”

What a pity.

Swish! A black blade whizzed past, aiming directly at my adjutant’s neck. Thanks to my adjutant kneeling just in time, it only managed to cut a few strands of hair.

The sinner who strutted in with a proud walk and raised their voice stumbled backward, waving their large chest in my direction.

I could see their chest jiggling every time their finger trembled.

How rude.

Should I just cut that?

Let’s do it.

Swish!

“D-Did you just try to kill me!?”

“Yeah.”

“Was that a straightforward answer!?”

“Can’t I just cut one side?”

“What do you mean!?”

What else could it be? It’s your chest, right?

Seeing it grow so large, won’t it just grow back if I cut it?

I raised my sword again, but seeing them kneeling and putting their head down made me lower it.

I love you!

Get lost.

I kicked away my adjutant who was clinging to me like a pesky fly. I had too much to do, wanted to sleep, wanted to cut that thing off, and above all, I was just annoyed, but I decided to listen to the story first.

Despite not liking her large chest, she was someone who handled tasks well.

Bisa. She may look goofy on the outside, but her insides are a bit quirky, and I don’t know why, but for now, she’s my adjutant.

Should I really cut her?

She stood there dazed for a moment before finally starting to speak.

“Uh… really!? Ah! Right! We’ve discovered a ‘ruin’!”

“….A ‘ruin’? Are you sure it’s not another false report from someone trying to cost us money?”

“No! This was directly confirmed by our search team! The place you sent them to, remember!?”

“Oh.”

A ruin.

Among dungeons, they are the most highly regarded by adventurers.

Some say it should be a natural dungeon or an untouched maiden dungeon for ages, but the criteria for classifying a dungeon as a ruin varies among mercenary groups, yet there’s one thing everyone agrees on.

There must be plenty of valuable artifacts.

Ordinary honey versus a rare nectar deep in the mountain.

Of course, the nectar is the ruin.

Because of that, many mercenary groups offer rewards for reporting ruins, but most of those are either nonsense or the delusions of fools mistaking a cave for a ruin.

Well, this time it seems our reliable search team has found something.

Not bad.

The distribution of local flora and fauna, ecological data, layers of the ground, and finally, the rumors floating in the area.

I combined all of that and narrowed it down to three suspect locations to send the search team for a trial run, and it seems we hit the jackpot from the start.

Really—

“Not bad.”

“—So, shall I get ready right away?”

“Yeah. Tell them to prepare since I’ll be going with Yuta.”

“Roger!”

Bisa quickly shut the door as she left.

Seeing the clear imprint of the doorknob on the wall, I briefly thought it might be a good idea to break a finger or two, but then I decided against it.

Let’s just prepare.

Since I always wear at least minimal armor, it didn’t take more than ten minutes to put on all my gear.

I inspected my weapons and, finally holding my helmet in hand, I tasted a slight bitterness.

Right now, I can wear it as naturally as I would put on clothes, but when I first started wearing protective gear, I struggled for over an hour.

I didn’t even know where to put my hands, and the order of putting things on was completely mixed up.

How many times did I put it on and take it off?

In the end, the connecting straps tangled and twisted, leaving me unable to move as if I were tied up with ropes.

“Well, I can’t help it, Helena.”

“Ispa!”

“Stay still.”

When I was struggling, Ispa smiled and helped me with everything.

“I’m, doing well, right? Ispa?”

I remembered her smiling face, which was always charming when I was about to embark on an expedition.

Now that I’ve grown into a skilled adventurer, I feel that there’s no child as mysterious as Ispa.

An adult-like child, or a childish adult.

That was my assessment of her.

From our days in the orphanage, she always attracted attention.

She was kind to everyone, helped when there was trouble, and quietly waited until we could solve our problems on our own.

I suppose that’s why Yuta, who now works with me as the vice-captain, and I approached her drawn in by her light.

On the day we successfully brought Ispa into the group, Yuta was so joyful he nearly danced, but she wouldn’t know that.

Now, a memory that we can never return to, too far away.

Yuta and I wandered a lot after Ispa’s death, but in the end, we decided to settle in one mercenary group and continue adventuring.

Though I often wanted to quit, for the sake of Ispa, who sacrificed herself for us, I couldn’t do that.

Especially Yuta, who had developed a phobia of closed spaces and dungeons to the point where he couldn’t function, managed to rise again through her strong spirit and willpower.

Ispa would’ve loved to see that.

After that, with her remarkable physical abilities and skills, she gained recognition and rose to the rank of vice-captain.

I was working as a strategist planning things, but surprisingly, I had become the captain sooner than I realized.

Why am I here?

If it weren’t for that raccoon-like old man, I wouldn’t be in this position.

The members say that I’m the best fit for this place, but honestly, I can’t feel it.

There are others who would suit this place better than me.

If she were here instead of me.

If I had stopped Yuta from rushing forward back then.

If it were instead me who had fallen into the trap back then—

“……..”

Everything I do is just a mimicry of her.

Like a child chasing their parents’ backs, Yuta and I are merely walking in the footsteps of Ispa, who no longer exists.

Yuta might hate it, but I see her as a parent-like figure to us.

When we do something wrong, she would scold us firmly.

When we did something good, she would warmly praise us more than anyone.

When danger approached, she would be the first to step in front of us—

“—Ispa.”

Swish! A sharp sound echoed as a small dagger was drawn.

The sword she gave me on the day of our first dungeon expedition.

And the sword that ended her last breath of despair.

When I was young, it was so big and heavy that I could barely hold it with one hand.

Yet now, I had grown to wield it like this.

Both Yuta and I — we’ve all become adults.

We’ve grown taller and stronger.

We made enough money to make everyone jealous.

We’ve reached the age where we hear nagging about getting married.

The orphanage we grew up in has transformed into a magnificent building thanks to our support.

Everything has changed, Ispa.

But you, you remain the same.

Alone at the back of the path everyone walks, she remained forever a child in our memories.

With striking sky-blue eyes that seemed to embrace everyone, and her charming smile.

She would remain immutably a child, forever lodged in our minds.

That thought hurt my heart deeply.

“Yeah, it’s time to go. Time to leave.”

The girl I killed with this sword.

I can’t let her death be in vain.

We’ve worked hard.

So Ispa, please cheer for us.

As we walk forward, this path.

We must leave you behind, so cheer for us.

“Let’s go.”

I opened the door.

*

Well-grown Helena.

With a bit of an S trait.

I wonder who she learned that from…(stares into the distance)

Anyway, she was originally meant to be a minor character, but she’s grown so much to climb to the position of captain.

I’m sure Aris in heaven is smiling down.

Isn’t that right?

“Really, really happy.”

She says she’s happy.

*

---