The Gate of Shadows

Chapter 4: The Calm…



The following day, I remained on the cold wooden floor where the sisters had left me the previous night. Next to me were bandages, a pouch full of coins, and a list of errands to run. This was another part of the punishment, along with no meal for my empty stomach. 

Struggling to get up, I attempted to bandage myself with the limited medical supplies they left. Despite my efforts, the makeshift bandages provided little relief. However, I knew I had to push through the pain and get moving.

Failing to complete all the errands by the end of the day would have significant consequences for me. The first steps were usually the hardest ones. Each one sent sharp stings through my senses. As I walked through the halls, not one of the sisters showed any concern or willingness to stop and offer me help.

The searing pain spread through every inch of my body, leaving me numb and struggling to maintain a facade of normalcy once I stepped beyond the barrier. I had to don a fake mask, pretending that everything was fine despite the agony coursing through me.

No one ever bothered to spare me a second glance. I could have easily brushed it off in the past, but this time, an overwhelming weight settled on my chest.

Is this what kindness does? Am I spoiled?  

The first item on the list had to be retrieved from an herb that flourished near the manor. The coven meticulously cultivated this particular one to ensure it met their spellcasting standards. The remaining items were found by visiting various merchants around town.

Though most were animal body parts, when I was on the tenth item, my legs couldn’t keep up with me anymore. The items themselves weren’t heavy. They were small and in negligible quantities, but the walk and whipping exhausted me.

Leaning against a weathered wooden post, I winced as a twinge of pain shot through me. A familiar voice reached my ears, wrapping me in a comforting warmth that felt like entering sunlight on a cold day.

No… not today… please… 

“Hey!” Fenris came from behind the post, followed by the others.

Once before me, his radiant shine caused my poor eyes to shift away from him.

“We were waiting for you yesterday. What happened?” He asked, leaning closer.

I shut my eyes and shook my head.

Why are they here? I’m not near the shop!

Despite my efforts to stay away, it was futile. They had found me, and I was powerless to stop it.

Can I hide it? I have to! If the sisters found out, I... They... No, never. 

“I’m sorry, I had to study all day yesterday.” I struggled to fabricate an excuse or a lie.

As I glanced toward the silver wolf, I noticed his eyes narrowing before he tilted his head. Subsequently, he instructed Liam and the others to fetch some ice cream from the nearby shop. Once they had departed, he seized me, pulling me out of their line of sight.

Once in the alley, my back went against the wall; I tried to hide the pain that it inflicted on me. However, when he sniffed me, my world suddenly froze, triggering my cheeks to burn. 

How can I stop you? I can’t let you! 

Before I could grasp a way to halt his actions, he uttered words that sent a shiver down my spine.

“Hey, why do you smell like alcohol? Is that blood, too?!” His eyes widened, biting onto his lip.

“No, I-I... I-I... I just... I... I spilled some on me and... f-fell and scratched my back a little. That’s all!” I struggled, voice shaking.

“Really?” He growled, eyes giving off a soft hue.

The odor emanating from my body was peculiar. Even if everything I said was true, the intensity of the smell was far beyond what a mere spill of alcohol could produce. It was as if I had drenched myself in gallons of liquid. Additionally, my skin had become flaky due to prolonged exposure to it.

The clumsy self-aftercare I had given didn’t help my situation. The exposed areas of my back allowed fresh blood to seep into my dark clothing. Fortunately, I was wearing a black dress to conceal the bloodstains. However, there was no hiding it from Fenris.

A Lycan’s sense of smell, even young, was much more than a simple human. He brushed off my excuse, swiftly grabbing the list from my hands. In my attempt to retrieve it, a sharp, shooting pain coursed down my back, taking me by surprise.

He stood there, his piercing gaze fixated on me as my facade faltered momentarily, betrayed by the stinging that contorted my features. When he unfurled the paper, a list of twenty-five items awaited me, with only ten crossed out.

“You’ve been doing this like that? Are you crazy? Why didn’t you ask for help?” Fenris interrogated with a hint of disapproval.

I stood in silence, bowing my head once again towards the floor. He wrapped his arms around me, understanding I had no words to offer in return. It was the first time anyone had held me close since my mother passed away.

“Doesn’t it hurt?” His voice shook, gripping me tighter. “Damn it! Lilith, please call out for help!”

It was unexpected; his sudden touch left me at a loss for how to react.

Why do you care? Can’t you be like everyone else who ignores me?  

Resting my head against his chest, I could feel the rapid rhythm of his heartbeat resonating through me. When Liam and the others returned with delicious ice cream treats, my eyes lit up as I noticed they had also thoughtfully picked one out for me.

Seeing that I couldn’t reach it, Fenris kindly grabbed the first thing I’d eat all day.

“Hey, guys, I’m gonna help her with these errands. They’re too much for one girl to handle. So, carry on without me today.” Fenris declared, leaving me speechless.

Before Ezra could protest, Liam swiftly stepped in, firmly grabbing his arm and leading him away. Owen followed closely, waving at us with a warm smile. The brown wolf’s keen intuition always set him apart from the others.

Yet, I couldn’t help but wonder if he had also noticed my condition. After they departed, Fenris kindly offered me an ice cream cone. I had only encountered them because they had come to purchase some ice cream.

“You should eat it now before it melts.” He smiled. 

I extended my hand toward it, my movements deliberate and cautious.

“I’ve never had ice cream before,” I whispered, gazing at it like a precious gift.

Fenris was left speechless as his eyes opened wide, revealing his astonishment. He appeared to be on the brink of uttering something, but then he hesitated, biting his lip before ultimately deciding to articulate a different thought.

“Well, eat it then. I’ll buy you another one if you want more after.” Fenris smiled. 

A delightful chill spread through my mouth as I savored my first bite of the delectable treat. The creamy, luscious texture and the unique, unfamiliar flavor left me utterly enchanted. It was an unparalleled experience, my first taste of something exquisitely delightful.

I couldn’t know what expression I had planted, but it resulted in Fenris chuckling contentedly. I consumed the ice cream much faster than anticipated, leaving me with a slight headache. This only seemed to amuse the wolf even more.

“Silly, don’t eat so fast!” He chuckled, tail swaying side to side. “Do you like it? It’s vanilla!”

I nodded, unable to stop a smile from forming on my lips. He swiftly and with brief hesitation licked the corner of my mouth before licking his lips, too. It sent my poor heart into a raging storm, eyes opened wider than ever before.

“Yum,” Fenris savored the rich, creamy flavor of the ice cream he had slyly taken from me, only to realize his misdeed after indulging in its sweetness.

The blush on our cheeks deepened into a rosy hue. I couldn’t lift my gaze from the floor as if it held some mysterious pull in my eyes. I struggled to contain the wild thumping of my heart, fearing it might break free from my chest.

Every fiber of my being felt like it was on the verge of detonation.

Unaware of how his actions made me feel, Fenris turned around and said, “Okay! Let’s get going! Hop on!”

His voice was faster than usual, and there was also a slight change in pitch.

Are you like me?  

I found myself in a state of conflict, hesitating over my decision. However, his persistent pouting eventually wore me down, and I relented to his demand. I knew I had to finish the list, and he was adamant about not letting me go alone.

As he lifted me onto his back, I instinctively wrapped my arms tightly around him, afraid of falling. At that moment, his touch seemed to have the power to make all the pain in the world disappear.

Fenris looked at me with a furrowed brow, concern evident as he asked, “Are you okay?”

He believed that I was causing myself more harm by clinging too tightly, but the discomfort I felt then was nothing in comparison to what I had experienced before he entered my life. His closeness was so intense that I momentarily forgot the reason behind his actions.

The pain I experienced paled in comparison to the comforting, soothing warmth that enveloped my entire being. It made me yearn for something beyond what I had.

If only… Things can stay like this forever.


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