The Gate of Shadows

Chapter 3: Reality



When seen up close, Fenris's smile shone even more radiant. It had a mesmerizing effect, almost melting away my anger.

Oh, how I wished I could smile like you.  

His carefree demeanor suggested a boy without a worry in the world. I resisted the urge to look at his face and turned away again. He proposed another round, this time with higher stakes. If he emerged victorious, I would have to reveal my name. Conversely, if I won, I could request anything from him.

Reluctantly, I agreed, annoyed at his underhanded tactics that deprived me of a fair game, mainly since it was my first. This match unfolded in a completely unparalleled manner. He defeated me without a shred of compassion. This time, there was something he wanted to have.

Before I could even comprehend what was happening, I found myself in a situation that was over in the blink of an eye. The other boys struggled to contain their amusement while Fenris, with a sly smile, reached out his hand and asked for my name. His gestures constantly stirred my heart in unexpected ways.

Reluctantly, I succumbed to the silver-haired boy. 

“Lilith,” I mumbled, shifting my orbs to the side. 

Fenris's face lit up with a radiant beam of joy when he heard my name.

“Well, Lilith’s a pretty name. Why didn’t you want to say it in the first place?" He rolled his eyes, "Anyway, it’s nice to meet you finally.” 

Upon hearing my name, I anticipated a different reaction. It seemed as though they were unaware of the significance behind my name.  Yet I longed to blend in with them, hoping for a sense of normalcy. The sensation in my cheeks was so intense that it felt like they might detach from my face.

I timidly accepted his open invitation, mirroring his smile. As I reached out, a glimmer of hope filled my heart. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, I felt a sense of relief and the possibility of a new beginning.

“Thank you.” I giggled, causing Fenris and the other boys to fall into a stunned silence.

They appeared flustered for an inexplicable reason. Fenris's recovery was challenging Liam, who stuttered out a hesitant "yes" before resuming the matches. The day spent with them provided a liberating escape from the looming obligations awaiting me back home in the coven.

Fortune would have it; my coven was gone until nightfall, sparing me to fret about their return. When the sun dipped below the horizon, everyone began gathering their belongings.

Then, Liam approached me, extending a bag in my direction. “This is for you.” 

I hesitantly reached for the bag, feeling confused and curious. As I tilted my head, I couldn't fathom why they had given me anything. Then, Fenris revealed they had purchased a deck for me to use the next time I joined them.

“I can come again?” I inquired, feeling wholly bewildered by their motives.

Especially when everyone enthusiastically agreed, with even Ezra chiming in with a remark.

“It was fun to be with you for being a baby witch.” The grey wolf huffed, crossing his arms. 

The other boys gazed at him with disapproval. Nonetheless, that compliment ranked as the second-best I had ever received. The first was when Fenris complimented my name as pretty. It made me feel valued despite being a witch.

My laughter filled the air for the first time since we had met. Once again, I noticed their flustered expressions in response to my unexpected outburst.

Fenris cleared his throat before speaking once more. “It's getting dark. Want us to walk you home?” 

I was jolted back to reality as a wave of realization washed over me, causing me to tremble where I stood. I took a few hesitant steps back, shaking my head. It was clear to me that we inhabited two entirely different worlds. The thought of the sisters ever catching sight of them made me run cold.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you.” My voice trembled, feeling small in their gaze.

Fenris's brow furrowed slightly, “Ah, okay. So, see you tomorrow?”

I felt bewildered and desperately sought an answer. Opportunities came and went, but I was uncertain when I could find a way to break free from the coven.

 In a calm tone, I found myself unable to complete my sentence. I struggled to find the right words that wouldn't sound suspicious. “I don’t...”

Fenris seemed to understand my unspoken concerns effortlessly as I was lost in thought.

With a warm smile, he said, "I hope you can."

After that, they all bid me farewell. I hurried back home before the sisters could notice my absence. Our coven was situated outside the town, concealed by a magical barrier within the evergreen forest. It wasn't unknown to Cerberus; they regularly checked on our activities.

However, what transpired within its walls was hostile towards every other race. It was different, even if they were on their best behavior during the day and out of sight at night. Fortunately, I made it home that day before Grandmother learned about my excursion.

She was deeply engrossed in a mysterious ritual, and her companions diligently prepared to perform a powerful spell. After years of preparation, they finally reached the culmination of their efforts. I hoped everything would finally settle once the coven's spell was completed.

Retreating to my room, I carefully concealed the hole I had clumsily made in the wooden wall with one of my many paintings. As I ventured forward, the aged wooden floor protested with a soft, eerie creak under the pressure of my steps. My gaze darted toward the door, hoping for no unexpected intrusions.

Thankfully, I knew that the likelihood of any unwelcome visitors was slim. No one checked on me unless it was morning and night. Releasing a sigh of relief, I sat on my bed, pouring the items the boys got me into it. My eyes sparkled, seeing booster packs, a deck, some sleeves, and somewhere to store them.

The emotions stirred up by the Lycan boys resurfaced within me. I was unsure about what I was feeling. With a smile on my face, I opened the box and read the instructions that came with it.  I spent hours going over each card, attempting to grasp the game. I only stopped when I needed to conceal the items from the witches, who had given me food for the night.

Surprisingly, the simple piece of bread they brought tasted exquisite that evening. My mind couldn't help but dwell on thoughts of Fenris and his companions as I contemplated strategies to outwit them in the game after I immersed myself in yet another grimoire.

The following day, I bided my time until the witches bid farewell, allowing me to slip away unnoticed. Despite their presence at home, I was irresistibly drawn to pay them another visit. The intense yearning to meet them and test my strategies eclipsed my rational thinking.

I longed for the joy and laughter that awaited me. Upon arriving at the familiar alley, I froze. Negative thoughts clawed at my mind, threatening to overwhelm me. To my great surprise, Fenris approached me when he spotted me in the distance. Taking hold of my hand, he led me back into the warm embrace of the sunlight.

This routine continued for a week, and I sneaked out to spend time with them. Over time, I smiled more often and felt increasingly at ease in their company. Ezra's guarded demeanor began to soften, allowing me to see a new side. I could sense a shift in his perception of me as if I had transcended being just a witch in his eyes.

This shift felt like a significant achievement, perhaps even more than my triumph against Owen. As time passed, I gradually opened up, engaging in more conversations and sharing more laughter. The wolf boys injected vibrant colors into my once cold and grey world.

Every day, they defied my sister's expectations. The air was still, a deceptive tranquility that preceded the impending storm. Unbeknownst to me, a single action of mine would swiftly wipe those smiles from their faces. It didn't take long for the coven to notice that something was also amiss with me.

A week and a half had passed since I first met the boys when I couldn't recite an incantation word for word. It was a frustrating mistake that I should have dedicated more time to studying. However, my mind was full of other thoughts.

After I failed the exam, I pleaded with the examiner not to tell Grandmother, fearing her response. Sadly, all I got was a slap for being disrespectful. This marked the first time I wouldn't see the boys waiting for me to laugh with them. Grandmother dragged me into a stone-cold room in the basement of our wooden home, stripping me naked. 

Taking out a leather whip, I could only cringe when she swung it my way, only to stop as if she were taunting me. This wasn’t the first time I experienced this; it wouldn't be the last. My body remembered all my punishments. Trembling where I sat, I felt my body run fridge when she snapped on the stone floor beside me.

In the wake of my mother's passing two years ago, my grandmother's heart became consumed by pure hatred. I found myself becoming the object of her wrath as well. Although it had been some time since I had been on the receiving end of her anger, I knew that any outward display of emotion or distress would only fan the flames of her fury.

My thoughts drifted back to when Cerberus's ruthless raid turned my world upside down. Two years ago, before my mother's passing, my life was vastly different. It lacked vibrancy, but she illuminated my existence. I had never known a shortage of love until she departed from my life.

The mental state of my mother was fragile. Per my grandmother's account, neither she nor my father had desired me. It was only my mother who truly longed for me despite struggling to cope with my father's abandonment. His departure took a toll on her mental well-being, causing her to lose her sanity gradually.

This strained my relationship with my grandmother, as her daughter was also her guiding light. Although my grandmother never hurt me while my mother was alive, she never cared for me. 

The raid...

My mother lost control and attacked them when the officers entered our room. It resulted in her death, along with a few members of Cerberus and other sisters who came to her defense. At that moment, the covens and my grandmother were consumed by an overwhelming hatred toward Cerberus and all those who had oppressed us. 

Despite her best efforts to make me despise the world, her actions only succeeded in fueling my hatred for life itself. Confining the agony within, all I could do was endure, hoping for an escape. After she finished lashing me raw, she drenched me with alcohol, leaving the liquid to sting my broken skin.

They dragged me back into my cursed room once again, leaving me on the cold wooden floor, naked. My only saving grace was they didn't suspect my extracurricular activities. They labeled me as lazy because I didn't study enough. Mastering fifty complex spells a day was quite demanding, mainly due to committing each one to memory.

Most witches record these spells and instructions in their grimoires, but for some reason, they insisted that I memorized them perfectly. Grandmother always expected a level of excellence that felt impossible to achieve. After enduring the punishment, I usually found solace in tears, but the emotional release eluded me. this time

The absence of tears on my cheeks only intensified my profound emptiness. All I yearned for was to reach them, but my current condition made that impossible. Every ounce of strength had drained from my body, rendering me immobile. As consciousness slipped away, the image of Fenris and his luminous smile was the last thought to occupy my mind.

Will... I ever see it again? 


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