The Gate of Shadows

Before placing it on me, Fenris tested the bracelet on himself to ensure it wasn’t defective. His emotions were swiftly suppressed, causing a peculiar expression, shifting his gaze at me.

“I don’t know how you’ve tolerated this hollowness for so long.” Fenris let out an exasperated huff, swiftly removing it.

Somehow, I became immune to the effects of luxorite, similar to building immunity to medication after long periods of taking it.

The more frequently magical artifacts were used, the more their powers waned. This led to speculation about when the phoenix crystals, renowned for their potency, would eventually lose their magic if they hadn't already. In my urgency to escape, I transported us through a gate a few hours earlier.

Despite the bracelet's apparent failure to work on me, Fenris gently placed it back on my arm. He then surprised me by urging me to pretend everything was fine, displaying an unexpected confidence in my ability to maintain control.

He recognized something in me that I couldn't see in myself. I became adept at concealing my emotions so the crystal didn't leave me feeling hollow. While this was true, I had initially believed it would serve as a safety net in case I faltered. It felt akin to losing my life preserver, leaving me adrift in the boundless sea of existence.

Afterward, he meticulously inspected my Phoenix inhibitors but found no issues. There was no clear explanation for why the gate briefly opened. Despite examining the crystals thoroughly, he saw no cracks or defects in their appearance. His only conclusion was that my fear had somehow influenced the gate.

The force was powerful enough to break through the barrier created by the crystals. I had anticipated that seeing the creatures that had previously altered his life would be traumatic for him. Surprisingly, he expressed gratitude to me for rescuing him.

After carefully inspecting everything, he abruptly hauled me into the bathroom. Once inside, he displayed pure affection for my efforts. It wasn’t long before our loving headed towards the sheets, where he ensured I was well cared for.

As we drifted to sleep, I could feel Fenris's comforting presence beside me. When I awoke, his peaceful form was nestled close. I gently maneuvered, trying to worm out of his embrace on my way to the restroom.

Managing to sit up only ended with him clamping onto my waist, using part of my lap as his new pillow. I couldn't ignore the urgent need to use the bathroom, but I couldn't help but be drawn to the opportunity to run my fingers through his soft, silver hair and gently stroke his fluffy ears, which caused me to giggle.

Like always, they were little clouds on my fingertips. Glancing towards Shade, she was fast asleep in her tower. Then, I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. In front of our bed was Ryker, gazing at me.

Those emerald orbs felt like they were peering straight into my soul. His golden silk hair was placed up in a silver bun, carrying an air of solemnity. Stunned, I reached toward Fenris to wake him, but the elf spoke up before I could.

"Don’t wake up the poor wolf. It’s you with whom I need a word. And I’m not interested in a child's body. Even more so a dysmorphic one. So, don’t be nervous. I won’t do anything to you." Ryker tapped his hands rhythmically on the cover of a thick book, his fingers creating a steady beat.

He proclaimed me as a child, but something different was reflected in his eyes. Elves could live for hundreds of years, which wasn't why he called me that. This one was aware of much more than that.

Would anyone gaze at a kid with such scorn?

The intensity of his glare made it hard to suppress the dreadful emotions; laying bare for him to see didn’t make it any easier. For a few moments, he carefully observed my every move. It was challenging to mask my true feelings under his intense scrutiny.

"Ah... Are you worried, child? Because of what I see? Don’t be. I already knew what Fenris was doing with you. I asked him to. It seems he did his job right, too. Well, maybe a little too well." Ryker delivered the news with a complete lack of emotion.

It left me feeling utterly shocked and taken aback. The realization had already started to form in my mind, but when I heard it confirmed, it was like a blow to the chest. The pain was unbearable. I couldn't bear to listen to it anymore.

"What?" I quietly murmured, glancing at Fenris, who was in a dream-like state.

The previous day's events left him incredibly exhausted, causing him to sleep deeper than usual. Our voices couldn’t reach him where he was. I felt the urge to awaken him with a sharp tug, but I couldn't bring myself to disturb his much-needed rest.

He had been awake all night caring for me, which explained his exhaustion.

Hold it… in. I don’t want to make it harder for you!

The intense emotions made it incredibly challenging to prevent the tears from causing a stinging sensation in my eyes.

Will he notice?

"Oh, poor child, you can’t say you believe Fenris feels the same way about you. His one job is to protect us from you. To accomplish that, we made him own your body and soul. The kindness he shows you is just a show to keep you complacent.” The elf carried on like a knife to my heart.

Please… no more… don’t take my last happy place.

Somehow, I found the strength to contain my emotions, but I couldn't predict how long I could go on like this.

“You must know this, no? But don’t worry, he’ll continue doing his duty even after he’s married." Ryker clarified any doubts I had about the matter.

Upon sensing my emotional state, Shade stirred from her slumber, her eyes snapping open as she let out a menacing hiss at the sight of the elf.

What is this fucking elf doing here?! Her lips curled back in a snarl, preparing to pounce at him with her tiny but fierce paws.

Don’t! I’m fine! Please!

But! Lily! She winced, shaking her head.

I was tasked with concealing my genuine emotions and never allowing them to surface. I had to assume a false persona and conform to their expectations, all for the sake of my beloved wolf.

"What do you want from me?" I inquired, pressing my lips soon after.

It was a struggle to contain the overwhelming wave of sadness that threatened to consume me. The first time I felt the warmth emanating from Fenris's embrace, I found it increasingly difficult to maintain my composure.

Despite being aware of his predetermined fate with another, the pain of realizing that his embraces were merely a result of obligation weighed heavily on me.

I believed it was about maintaining control, but it wasn't due to someone else's directive. That was why he concealed my presence. Despite feeling conflicted, I tried to remain resolute.

All of it is lies… sweet lies.

"You told Ben that you thought it was Wolfsbane. I came to tell you that you’re wrong. It’s something else. Something we can’t identify yet." Ryker replied, leaving me utterly perplexed and at a loss for words.

I saw what I saw, and the side effects aligned perfectly. Well, almost perfectly. However, I couldn't shake the feeling that he had to be wrong.

"I—" Before another word left me, he raised his hands to stop me.

With a cold and indifferent gaze, the elf clarified that my words were unimportant to him. In his eyes, I was nothing but a burden to everyone within the confines of the building.

"Your theory can’t compare to my technicians, who already tested the unknown substance. It wasn’t Wolfsbane. Now, keep these conspiracies to yourself, girl. Before you spread panic for no reason." He finished leaving before I could say anything to argue back.

As the heavy door closed behind him, a surge of emotion swept through me, causing tears to well up in the corners of my eyes.

Suck it up, Lilith. This is just another thing you’re wrong about.

I kept repeating it to myself until it finally sank in. The ancient people wiped out wolfsbane ages ago. There was no chance that any of it still existed.

Be glad, Lilith. He’s safe from it.

I struggled to force an emotion that just wouldn't come. Still sound asleep, Fenris held me tightly as if sensing my inner turmoil. Despite my efforts to push them away, tears streamed down my face, a silent testament to the impact of Ryker's words.

A soft, almost inaudible hum emanated from me as I tenderly brushed my fingers through Fenris's hair, feeling its silky texture. I attempted not to cry loudly, not to wake him, but my sobs were coming out without me being able to stop them.

Fenris will never be mine.

I had deluded myself into thinking it was okay if he was devoted to another. But thinking about it differed entirely from having confirmation.

I’m not okay—it isn’t okay at all!

My heart grew greedy and needy over the years, becoming a thunderous storm spiraling out of control.

Is what Ryker said true? Are you just following orders? No… you have to care, even if it’s a little… Right? Tell me!