The Gate of Shadows

Layla grabbed my hand, stopping me before I could get far.

Why can’t I get away?

“Wait. I don’t know your name. Suppose you’re my fiancé’s charge for life. I at least should know it.” Layla smiled.

No matter her intentions, I had no intention of being her friend. She appeared to be an airhead, and that annoyed me. Though what probably bothered me wasn’t her, but that I let my heart open once again, only for it to shatter. There was no use in feeling anything towards anyone.

It was only a matter of time until she knew what I did, turning her attempts into loathing. No one would ever love me. The only thing I destined for me was to be an abomination that couldn’t die.

For Fenris’s sake alone…

“Lilith,” I muttered, fully aware we wouldn’t be on good terms by this end.

“Oh, like the witch in the history books. Your mom must’ve had some weird sense of naming, huh?” she tried to joke to break the ice.

I tried to smile even though I didn’t feel like it. All I wanted to do was cry and be alone, but it seemed this wolf didn’t want me to go yet.

“Yes, if you would excuse me. I need to be somewhere right now. Have a good day.” I bowed, heading toward Tania, who waited for me to arrive for over an hour.

Fenris stayed behind as he spoke to his sister about her outrage scene instead of chasing me down. Not that I expected him to.

Isn’t this what I wanted? For you to move on… Yes, I’m your charge. But why did you… make me taste what I’ll never have again?

When I finally saw Tania, instead of showing me anger when she saw my face, she appeared concerned about me. I didn’t know what expression I had, but thanks to the bracelet keeping my emotions at bay, I felt nothing.

Tania didn’t ask what was wrong; instead, she gave me one of the warmest hugs I had ever had. It was surprising to me. However, she didn’t forgive me for slacking off; instead, giving me more work since I hadn’t finished the first.

Thanks to her comfort, I recovered from the scene that played in front of me earlier. After a day’s research, she sent me back to the room.

But… I don’t want to go.

Not wanting to bother the vampire any longer, I left. I didn’t want to hear what Fenris had to say, especially after what had happened this morning. Somehow, I had become greedy; it should’ve been enough to be with him once.

It must be.

Shade was strangely quiet, too. Usually, she would’ve verbally assaulted Fenris for any reason. Not knowing where to go, I wandered the building until stumbling to a lone window with a bench underneath it.

This building was modern, much like any other one in Silverant. There were cameras at every corner, too. They installed them after they decided to watch me from anywhere they could constantly.

The guard who probably watches me through them knows me by heart—if he or she knows anything about me.

Technology was abundant, yet I wasn’t allowed anywhere near it. The only thing I could do was go to the library and read the old way. Fenris would sometimes show me videos or play movies from his phone, but it never attracted me.

I found comfort in the silence of books. Sitting on the bench, I opened my ‘grimoire’ and drew in it. Panting still was my escape from this world. I sketched the beautiful Lycan Layla within the pages, which perfectly fit Fenris.

I’m nothing compared to her. Fenris… You’d enjoy being with her more than me. She has pretty breasts and an hourglass figure.

My pencil snapped in half as I felt the nastiest emotion I had ever felt settled in. Growing and unyielding, I feared it would consume me.

Is this envy... Does life even have meaning if you aren’t in it? Can I live without your touch after having it? Why did you have to touch me?

Eliminate her. A whisper responded to the emotions I tried to suppress.

Lily… Shade pawed my arm, prompting me to shake my head.

“No, I... could never...” I muttered, trying to fight them off, only for them to continue.

Once they started, they were relentless.

If she weren’t around, Fenris would be yours.

Kill her.

“No!” I screamed, standing from where I sat.

It prompted the people in the distance to stare at me, triggering me to gaze away from them.

I probably look like a crazy person.

This marked the first time in three years that the whispers had become vicious. Startled by their glances, I ran back towards our room, but I collided with two witches coming out of the library before I could get to it.

Papers were scattered everywhere when I tumbled to the floor with one witch. We were alone in this hall.

“What the fuck?! Watch where you’re going!” the witch yelled.

I struggled to grab each piece of paper, “I’m so sorry!”  

Instead of accepting my apology, the woman grabbed my arm, pulling tightly enough to damage one of my inhibitors. It was the one responsible for holding my emotions in check. They all knew not to touch me, but of course, they wouldn’t listen, or perhaps they didn’t know who I was at first glance.

“The fuck? Who do you think you are? You just ruined my dress!” She yelled at me, pointing towards the coffee stain on her white dress.

However, I could only stare at my arm, where the inhibitor was damaged. I felt a flood of emotions course through me, swelling within me like a raging ocean. I tried to get away from the girl that held me, but they shoved me onto the floor.

Both witches were unaware of the danger they had set into play. To protect me, Shade stood between them and me, hissing at them. My chest hurt in ways I hadn’t felt in years.

Ah! This isn’t what I…

“Please let me go,” I begged, gazing up at one camera, hoping the guard who was on duty would stop this.

It wouldn’t be long before I lost control. I could feel surges of energy pulsating through my body.

“Oh look, Emma, it’s the privileged witch. She has the famous black familiar, too.” The witch that had stopped my escape snickered.

Knowing who I was didn’t stop them. No, it fueled their misery.

“Oh... That’s right, Mary. Maybe she can get me a new dress with all that privilege she has. After all, the future headmaster is protecting her. I’m sure she’s loaded.” Emma commented to the other witch.

I pressed my back against the wall, trying to escape them.

“Please...” I pleaded, only for Emma to laugh.

“Please what?” taunted Mary, getting closer to me.

“I’m sorry... Please let me go.” I begged, feeling the energies built within my core.

The urgency in my voice didn’t reach them. These witches hated me because of how I was treated. If they ever caught me, this would be a usual occurrence, but it was never physical. Again, I gazed towards the camera, hoping for help to arrive.

“Not good enough. Do you even know how much this dress cost?!” Emma scoffed, glaring at me.

Mary stepped forward towards me again. “Hey! Maybe she can pay with her familiar,” she suggested, grabbing Shade by her collar.

Her words snapped me from the camera and onto her while Emma’s eyes shone.

“Yeah, we’ll take your familiar as payment.” She retorted.

Mary held Shade, whose short paws couldn’t reach her assailant.

Let me go, you stupid meathead! Why, I’ll rip you to shreds! Shade hissed, swiping her paws at them.

“No, please let her go,” I mumbled, trying to hold back what was surging within me.

Sadly, it was no use. My emotions…

No more... Please stop.

Tears ran down my cheeks, knowing I couldn’t bear it any longer. It hurt to hold it in.

“I’m sure familiars fetch a good price in the black market for witches,” Emma commented to Mary, who laughed.

Ah... I’m at my limit.

These bitches! Let’s eat them alive! A whisper caressed me in a way I could barely fight it off.

Perhaps eating them was the best for everyone.

No! That’s not right!

It is! Another howled within.

Standing up, the witches eyed me down. “Stop... Let her go.” I stated more firmly.

Mary pushed me against the wall.

Lily! I’ll kill them! Shade hissed.

“What was that? Are you going to do something about it? Of course not! You’re useless!” Mary challenged.

It would be her last biggest mistake. I lost it, releasing a pulse of energy and shaking the entire building from within. The power went out, leaving the building dark as night, except for the windows, which allowed the sun in.

A scream erupted from Emma within the darkness, bringing me back to reality. I could see Mary had become part of the wall décor thanks to Shade’s abilities. While Emma was left a living torso on the floor, screaming as she bled out.

For a moment, I stood there, shocked at what had happened. Shade climbed onto my back, tugging on my collar.

Lily, run! She yelled.

I obeyed her with a brief hesitation, running until I reached my haven, the room. There weren’t any witnesses to see what had happened, and the guard on duty for the cameras was on break or something. No alarms were raised when I ran past everyone on my way, but they would soon find out.

I tried not to think too deeply until I entered the room, locked myself in the bathroom, and tried to calm myself. My breathing was unsteady, and I couldn’t fill my lungs with enough air.

I killed two people!

My hands trembled when I realized what had happened. There were no shadow demons to blame this time, just me. Getting into the shower, my hands glowed blue. I was barely holding the power that surged through me.

Breathing in and out, I tried to keep it in at all costs. Tania had taught me to control my panic attacks with meditation techniques, so I tried them. However, all of that was a work in progress.

Lily… Shade worried.

I turned on the cold water, hoping it would shock me into reason. Thanks to the cold water that washed over me, blood dripped off me and into the tub. Another energy pulse radiated out of me, shaking the building once again.

Everyone outside this room must’ve been terrified and unsure of what was happening. I honestly was nothing other than a monster.

It’s true what everyone in that council said about me. Even Amelia is right to fear me.

This power that went out of control with my emotions made me dangerous. I struggled to keep the gate from swinging open. Sadly, the only way was to calm down, which I struggled to do as I curled up into a ball, wishing everything to stop.

Outside, the alarm finally flared when someone found what I had left of Emma and Mary.

Soon, it’ll be over. Cerberus will come for me and lock me up.

Shade jumped into the shower with me, cuddling me. Even though she hated the water, she always placed me first.

It’s okay. I’ll always be with you. I promise. Shade purred.

If only things like that would work for me. Taking another deep breath, I tried to stay calm and not think about anything. However, my mind was an unquenching storm, full of negative thoughts. Luckily, the whispers weren’t going mad.

Another pulse of energy shook the building once again. No matter what happened, though, I was determined to remain hidden within the bathroom. The bracelet Fenris gave me shimmered brightly, but I kept my sight on the floor.

You’re trying to find me. No… Please…

It should’ve made me happy, but I caused the chaos that erupted.

I’m a monster!

A million thoughts came through my mind; none of them were pretty.

How can I end this life before I ever hurt Fenris? I’ll…

It was an impossible thing to do without ending his world, too. This curse trapped me in this living realm, even though I didn’t want to be there. Taking another deep breath, I tried something new, something positive.

My mind traveled to the day before this latest nightmare. Replaying that moment in my mind calmed my chaotic heart as Fenris held me in his arms. He was the only thing that could ever save me from the darkness surrounding me.

I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean this to happen! Why can’t I do anything right?!