The Gate of Shadows

Hope would only lead to disappointment, leaving my body growing cold with each passing second.

My body isn’t...

Upon hearing those words come out of my mouth, Fenris’s eyes twitched, lips curled downward.

“You can’t be that dense. I just said it, Lily,” he growled. 

In response to my denial, he grabbed my hands, pinning them on the soft bed. There, he kissed my neck, sending shivers down my spine. It lit me up, almost as if lightning had struck me.  Intertwining his left hand with my right hand, he let go of my left to undo the buttons of my dress.

However, I quickly trembled as tears rolled down my cheeks when I reached for the hand that threatened to undress me. The inhibitor bracelet slowly activated, coming close to my meltdown.

“I-I... I-I... n-no... y-you can’t... I-I... I-I... I-I... don’t... I-I... I’m not worthy of you!” I struggled to say, sobbing.

It triggered the bracelet, leaving me feeling hollow. The moment it shone, Fenris appeared like he wanted to rip it off, but doing so would’ve placed everyone in danger. Instead, he took a deep breath, shaking his head.

“Lily... I can’t think of anyone more deserving than you. You deserve the world to bend to you.” He tried to console me.

His sweet words couldn’t reach my closed heart, though. By this time, I had learned what the sisters had taken from me.

I’m not worthy of anyone anymore.

Never was—especially someone like Fenris, who had people who adored him.

You’re untouchable to someone like me.

My body would disgust him either way.

It appalled even me.

I was disfigured and dishonored in more ways than I could count.

“I... don’t... I’m dirty.” I whimpered.

Cupping my cheek, he wiped away the rogue tears streaming down.

“Don’t say that. You aren’t dirty.” Fenris sighed, eyes glossing too.

I couldn’t understand why he said it.

Don’t you know what the coven did to me? If you don’t, then…

Something as pure as him shouldn’t lie with something like me.

“The sisters—” I tried to inform him, but he interrupted me.

At that moment, his expression changed, flashing his fangs.

“I already know what those psychos did to you. What those bitches did, doesn’t count!” Fenris reassured, leaning into me and kissing me lightly on my lips.

One wish came true the moment his lips touched mine. No matter how light it was. It was enough to satisfy me for a lifetime. Yet this wolf…

“All of your first will be with me.” He declared, astonishing me.

You don’t know what you’re saying!

My body was undesirable, especially to the future alpha of an entire clan. Yet his words warmed my heart in ways I thought I would never feel. It would be a dream to be his, but that was all it would be.

When this wolf saw my body, he would run, unaware of what he was getting into. He had never seen it before. I always wore clothes that would prevent anyone from seeing my scars. I even kept my hair short enough to reach my ears.

Ever since that day I…

Luckily, I didn’t have to hide my face or neck from anyone as they didn’t have scars to conceal. For my legs, I wore dark linings to bury everything they did to me. I only ever exposed my hands and face in public and inside the room with Fenris.

“No, Fenris, I—” I tried to explain, but this wolf wasn’t stopping.

Before I could finish, his lips clashed with mine, again silencing me successfully. When his tongue touched mine, I thought this had to be a dream. The warmth that entered my core was overwhelming.

Did I fall asleep? When…

Separating for a moment, I gasped as his hands peeled off my dress, exposing my deformed chest in one swoop. I never wore a bra since my breasts never grew, thanks to the trauma that they endured.

Scars covered my entire bosom, marking each stroke the blade took.

Ah… if this is a dream, it won’t be long until…

Usually, this was when I woke up, fearing this silver wolf’s reaction to seeing my body. Whenever I awoke from those dreams, he held my hand while I calmed down. Little did he know my dream was about his rejection.

This time, however, I wouldn’t wake up. Even though the bracelet kept shining brightly, Fenris’s ears twitched before lowering, eyes narrowing as a soft growl left his lips. Instead of running away, he traced his fingers on my chest, triggering tickling sensations to overwhelm my senses. It also left a trail of heat in his wake.

A low, shy mewl released from my lips, triggering him to gaze back at my face. I avoided his eyes, though.

A soft chuckle left Fenris, “You’re beautiful.” He breathed, caressing my deformed breasts before leaning into them and suckling on my skin with no hesitation.

Beautiful...? Impossible... I... I must’ve heard wrong!

More mewls escaped my lips before I bit into the sleeve of my dress, preventing my voice from coming out anymore. Focusing his kisses on my breast, he lifted the skirt off my dress, sticking his hand into my stocking and underwear.

When his fingers touched my most private area, I felt a rush of adrenaline course through me. I finally glanced down to see him still suckling on my chest, leaving behind little bruises on them. Separating from me, Fenris met with my gaze, allowing me to see his pink cheeks.

From there, he removed the clothes, exposing everything to him.

There is no way this is happening.

He licked his fingers before softly caressing my vulva. However, his eyes were planted on my face, watching for any reaction I had. Slipping a finger into me, I yelped, startling the wolf, who had thought he had hurt me.

He hadn’t. It was surprising how different it felt from back then. However, it did sting a bit, making it uncomfortable. My facial expression told him all he had to know. A soft smile rose on his lips when he gently thrust his finger in and out of me.

Before long, it was two fingers in me, leaving me squirming to a new sensation I hadn’t felt before. Pleasure, something I had never felt before. It swayed through my body like waves crashing onto the beach.

Pulling my sleeve out of my mouth, Fenris replaced it with lips.

Kisses...

He gave me so many. I was overwhelmed by him, unable to form a coherent thought. Separating from him, I finally let go of all the emotions building up since we met that day at that game store.

“Fenris, I lo—” I tried to profess my feelings only to be met with his light peck of my lips.

“I know.” He whispered, kissing me more profoundly than he had before.

He removed his fingers from within my walls, spreading me apart with his hands. Positioning himself between my legs, he tugged away from my lips before trailing down my body with kisses.

The wolf stopped when he reached my groin before gazing back at me; I couldn’t help but feel flustered at everything he did.

“Beautiful everywhere.” He assured me, leaning into me.

A second later, his tongue lapped my slits, leaving me gripping the bed and his soft hair; I couldn’t control my voice. His name escaped my lips repeatedly. It was almost as if I was urging him to continue to make me feel like this.

Before I knew it, a weird sensation swelled within my core. It was another feeling I had never experienced, but he tugged away before it could reach its peak. I watched him pull down his pants, exposing himself to me.

Another thing I thought could never happen in this lifetime.

You want me. Oh… gods…  

Tears dripped down my eyes again, triggering him to wipe them away and kiss my forehead gently.

“Ready?” he mumbled, stroking himself with his wet fingers.

Not knowing how to respond, I gazed at him with hopeful eyes. A soft sigh came from his lips, along with a sly slime. His cheeks were so rosy, though. Caging me again under him, he pressed his tip against my entrance before letting it slide, rubbing it against it.

Leaning onto me, the playful wolf kissed my forehead, continuing to thrust into me without slipping it in.

This is torture! Why are you…

It wasn’t long until I bucked my hips into him, triggering him to chuckle.

“Okay, I get it. No more teases.” He breathed, reaching towards where we would connect.

When Fenris entered me, all I felt was pulsing pain, stretching my walls to his size and length. This wolf was much thicker than the stick they used back then, and nothing had touched it in the past five years since the fall.

Baring from the discomfort, I clasped my hands into his arms. He panted for air, close to my ear, continuing to push himself into me until he filled me to the brim. A moan released from his lips when he found his release inside of me immediately after entering.

I didn’t know, but it was his first time doing anything like this. His member twitched inside of me, causing me to release along with him. My mind went blank for the first time in my life. It felt like bliss, washing away everything, including the pain.

“Are you okay?” Fenris panted, caressing my cheek.

Slowly, I nodded, out of breath, too.

This has to be a dream.

But it felt so real.

If it’s a dream… I don’t want to wake up. Please don’t let me wake up.

Reaching out, I touched his cheek, smiling.

Ah… I thought I had forgotten how to smile.

“Fenris,” I called out to him, feeling bliss.

It triggered him to kiss me once again. This time, though, he thrust himself into me, too. Each push was so gentle and loving that I could barely bear it. He was trying so hard not to hurt me, attempting to fill my senses with pleasure.

I couldn’t count how many times we held each other that day, but we mainly did everything in the book. Fenris’s touch had set anew everything that the sisters had done.

A touch that means everything to me.