The City of Ionia

20. Lex's Ridiculous Rules



I went back to camp, where a large crowd was formed. They shouted vulgar, violent language that caught me off guard. Curious, I squeezed my way to check the inner circle.

“Is that all? Quite the disappointment. I was seeking something more intense.”

“More intense? Well, hate to break it to… oh…” The bracelet-loving guardian was on one knee, her sword piercing the soil. Her poor posture, along with her chest visually rising, made it evident that she was exhausted.

She faced an opponent she feared. An opponent she didn’t get along with too well but did her best to do so. An opponent no member of the Bariac Cult would dare challenge.

The defeated, silvered-haired woman forced her way up as she expressed a faint grin.

“Sorry, Nadia. Jill’s watching.”

“And what does a spectator have to do with this?”

“Let’s just say it won’t look good on me.”

“Is that so?” Asked Nadia. “I’ll apologize in advance for the damage your body will take.”

***

“I hope you realize your punishment.”

“Unfortunately,” she said with a blade pressed against her neck.

The crowd cheered as they collapsed on the two warriors, showcasing their utmost respect. Even though they weren’t going for the kill, it was still nail-biting, watching their swords skim their loose hair strands.

Serious as ever, Nadia ignored the crowd and walked away as if nothing had happened. On the other hand, Harley smiled as people complimented her durability in standing against Nadia. She was an extremely tough fighter, probably the strongest the cult had to offer. The fact that Harley was able to manage her own was something special.

She didn’t need any powers or abilities. Her raw strength was enough.

Why couldn’t that be the case for me?

“Jill,” Ruby said on the ground, “The raids’ tonight, right?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Oh. Take care of yourself. I won’t be there for you. I’ll be gone for a week.”

“A week? Where’re you going?”

She got up. “To the village up north. I’ll be helping them set up for winter.” Harley didn’t sound happy at all.

“Why you out of everyone?”

“Because I missed my scouting job. I could’ve gotten a pass if I won against Nadia. But, oh well, she’s strong. It was fun while it lasted.”

We talked a little more until Harley hugged me, saying her goodbyes. I’m going to have the tent to myself for a week. I don’t think I’d gone a day without Harley. Now I had to go a week without her?

How would I manage? It’s not like I couldn’t live without her or anything, but she’s why this place felt so lively. The bickering with Jermey, the talks we have at night while snuggled up in our sleeping bags, our miniature sparring matches.

How would I go a week without any of that?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this was only temporary. There was a bigger goal in mind. A goal that I was set on. One where I would leave here for.

Right. This stay is only temporary. These people are only temporary. Maybe it’s a good thing we’ll be separate for a bit. It’ll be good practice for the inevitable future.

While I pondered my potential future, someone called my name from behind. Considering they didn’t have to shout, they were most likely close. I turned around and, to my surprise, was greeted by someone I had hardly spoken to.

“Yo. My bad for stopping you, but do you mind if we can chat for a few?”

“About what?”

“You’re raidin’ with me, so I gotta cover a few things. It’s nothing important, just tips that could prevent you from being killed.”

“Isn’t that important?”

“Let’s go to my tent. I can’t think straight with a bunch of people. It feels like I’m being listened to. Do you ever get that feeling?”

“No,” I replied with hesitation, only because that question threw me off for no good reason.

“Well shit, let’s go. I’m tryna organize my closet later, so I’ll be quick with our convo.”

Lex, one of the three squad leaders, showed me the way to his cabin. Inside, it was neatly organized, and everything seemed polished. Everything. From chairs, tables, countertops, floors, everything sparkled as if the place was brand new.

“Have a seat on the couch,” he instructed as he plopped on the chair across with an exaggerated sigh. “My God, I’m so tired.”

I followed his instructions, taking the couch he offered. While sitting silently, Lex complained about how his clothes needed washing and how the people on laundry duty were lazier than pigs. I zoned out, focusing on his disgusting, vibrant clothing. He always wore the brightest colors known to man. Yellow and orange are a terrible combination of colors, but somehow, he rocked it without shame. It’s beyond me.

“You agree?”

Dammit, he asked a question, and I wasn’t paying attention. Time to play neutral.

“I mean, whatever works for you.”

“Shit, rook, you’re absolutely correct. It’s my problem and mine alone. It’s not like I can slap it on someone else’s back.”

“Y-Ya.”

“So, anything new with you? This is like, what…the second or third time we’ve spoken? Shit. It actually might be.”

“Ya…” I replied with my eyes darting around the room.

“Shit…I really just wanna lie down. Dealing with Nadia’s complaining took a toll and a half on my mind.”

“Complaining? How so?”

He threw his hands in the air, playing innocent. “Like I know. Just B.S. about me not taking my role seriously. Nothing new.” He did sound drained.

“I see.”

There was a gap between our words until Lex shouted.

“Alrighty! Enough with this shit, and let’s get to business. I have three rules that every cult member must follow. The reason for three is that two is too little, four is an even number that feels illegal to do, and five is too much, so three it is. Plus, it makes my P.P.P. acronyms come into play.”

“P.P.P.?” I questioned.

“Pre, present, post. Three rules, three p’s, so a rule for each ‘p.’ So my pre-rule, aka rule number one, is very simple. Use the restroom before we leave. I hate stopping once we start marchin’. It's a simple rule everyone can follow. Rule number two is simple. Don’t get killed. I don’t care if you walk away with only one limb or lose both ears and such but don’t die. Explaining to Ruby how and why someone lost their life is much scarier than you might imagine, and I hate going through that. I won’t forgive you if you die on me, so no dying.”

That wasn’t the plan to begin with.

“So we have up to P.P. in the acronym. P.P…”

Lex tried his best to stifle their giggles, but they kept bubbling up from deep within, threatening to escape at any moment. His cheeks turned red with the effort of holding them back, and his eyes squeezed shut as they attempted to maintain a straight face.

He took a few deep breaths, mumbling, “I’m a mature adult, I’m a mature adult, I’m a mature adult.”

Ignorant of what was happening, the best I could do was awkwardly sit in silence as he fought with himself.

“Ok…Ok…I’m ok now. Now for the final rule. You must be a part of the group dance during the bonfire. It’s nothing complicated, just clapping your hands and shit. One thing to point out is if you break rule two, you would also be breaking rule three. So just don’t break rule two.”

How is he a squad leader…?

I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he was. Unlike Nadia, from what I’ve seen, he showed no true quality of being one.

“Is that all?” I asked, wanting to leave.

“Basically. Just don’t make my life difficult.”

Without a word, I stood, leaving the cabin until his voice stopped me.

“One more thing,” he said. “Nadia spilled tea about the last raid. Try not to repeat history.”

I scoffed at the bright clown, closing the door behind me.


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