Surviving marriage in yandere world

It was 8:00 AM at the Royal Magic Academy. The sky was blue, the birds were singing, and the student body was blissfully unaware that an intercontinental romantic war was about to erupt in homeroom.

Rei sat at his desk, pale and trembling.

He hadn't slept and he couldn't sleep.

Not with Rosette literally perched upside-down from his ceiling fan like a crimson-eyed gargoyle, whispering "inhale… exhale…" every ten seconds to monitor his breathing rate.

When the alarm rang, it wasn't the chime of a school bell. It was a scream.

[System Notification: Welcome to Day 2!]

[Mission Objective: Attend First Class Without Triggering a Blood Ritual]

[Warning: System Probability Analysis — 0.01% Success Rate. Have Fun~]

Rei adjusted his tie with the blank expression of a war veteran. "Maybe today… maybe today it'll be normal."

Just as the thought crossed his mind, the door to Class 1-A slammed open with magical force.

A girl stepped inside, her golden curls bouncing, her smile saintly.

"Greetings, everyone! My name is Lily A. Heavenbloom! I'm just a sweet, normal transfer student who definitely does not have a personal vendetta against every woman in this room!"

Rei's jaw dropped Lilia.

Wearing heart-shaped glasses with a fake birthmark drawn under her eye. Holding a forged student scroll that looked like it had been printed in crayon.

The homeroom teacher blinked.

"Oh, a transfer. Hmm. Odd, I wasn't informed…"

Lilia stepped forward with radiant confidence. "It's probably a divine oversight. You know how the gods are."

The teacher shrugged. "Fair enough. Seat 3-B."

Rei facepalmed.

[System Notification: Wife #1 Has Entered the Field]

[Code Name: Lily A. Heavenbloom — Class Buff: "Blessing of Passive-Aggression"]

Not three seconds later, the door burst open again.

BOOM.

A flame-wreathed girl marched through the smoke. Scales shimmered on her arms. Her uniform looked like it had been stapled to her body. Behind her, several walls were on fire.

"I'm Draka Flamewing. I transferred here because someone told me there was a male student in need of aggressive love and illegal cuddles."

"WHAT?!" Rei cried.

Draka threw a clawed hand at the ceiling. "Also, I challenge all weaklings to a dominance duel. Starting with whoever looks at my husband!"

A girl coughed politely. "I… I was just blinking—"

Draka tackled her through a desk.

[System Notification: Wife #2 Has Entered the Battlefield]

[Code Name: Draka Flamewing — Class Buff: "Roar of Jealousy (AoE 30m)"]

A faint chill swept through the room.

Moments later, the lights dimmed. A third girl emerged through the floorboards, gliding silently like a ghost. Long dark hair, empty eyes and black uniform with red trim.

She hovered to Rei's desk, pressed a tracker crystal into his sleeve, then vanished into the ceiling like a bat.

The class screamed but Rei did not because he was now used to this now.

The homeroom teacher held up a trembling hand. "Who… who was that?"

A whisper echoed from the vents. "Rosette. Transfer student. Hobby: Breathing in harmony with my soulmate."

[System Alert: Wife #3 Has Materialized]

[Code Name: Rosette Shadowsong — Class Buff: "Silence Is Consent"]

Rei reached into his bag and pulled out a note labeled "In Case of Wife Invasion: Plan A". He opened it.

It was blank.

"Damn it, past me!"

The door gently opened this time. A girl in a pristine white dress stepped in, holding a violin case and a bouquet of holy lilies. Her hair was snow-white, her skin fair, and her aura holy enough to trigger confessions from nearby demons.

"I'm Sera Luminia. I'm definitely not the Princess of the Church of Eternal Light. I'm just a humble girl seeking normal school experiences. Also, I brought lunch for my darling."

She set a basket labeled "Blessed Bento for Future Husband" on Rei's desk.

Rei felt his last functioning brain cell sob in despair.

[System Notification: Wife #4 Has Descended]

[Code Name: Sera Luminia — Class Buff: "Smiting Aura (Friendly Fire Disabled… Probably)"]

Before Rei could even scream, a gust of wind slammed the windows open.

A blood-red bat flew in. It twirled midair, exploded into mist, and reformed into a noblewoman in gothic frills. She adjusted her hat, curtsied, and looked directly at Rei.

"Good morning, peasants. I am Vel. I drink blood. I breathe fashion. I own his left thigh. Any questions?"

A boy raised his hand.

"Yes?" Vel smiled.

"Whose thigh?"

"Mine." Vel appeared behind him and bit his ear.

[System Notification: Wife #5 Has Landed]

[Code Name: Velveria Scarletgrave — Class Buff: "Blood Pact: Eternal Possession (No Refunds)"]

The room was silent.

Until—

Lilia stood, dramatically pointing at Velveria. "You used your real name! That's cheating!"

Velveria bared fangs. "At least I didn't show up with a fake mole and holy schizophrenia!"

"Girls," Draka interrupted. "Let's settle this the traditional way."

Sera smiled beatifically. "A duel?"

"No," Draka grinned. "A massive multi-girl magical showdown of doom."

The teacher finally stood up. "NOW HOLD ON—"

BOOM.

Too late.

Ten Minutes Later

The classroom was gone and half the school was a crater. Students ran screaming in all directions as flaming hearts, holy chains, blood bats, cursed shadows, and divine light spells turned the Royal Magic Academy into the world's most dysfunctional wedding reception.

Velveria and Lilia had each summoned a magical golem resembling Rei's face. They were now fighting over whose golem had the more accurate jawline.

Sera was using holy chains to bind anyone who "looked suspiciously single."

Draka was chasing every male professor, demanding to know what they taught and if their subject could make her hotter in front of Rei.

Rosette… had disappeared but several people found red ribbons tied around their necks with the words "Don't Speak To Him."

In the middle of the chaos, Rei sat in a still-standing fountain. It was wet and burnt and holding a bento box.

The bento opened itself. Inside was a love note in glitter:

"Eat this and think of me – Love, Wife #4."

[System Notification: You Have Survived the First Period Massacre]

[New Title Unlocked: "Harem Host of Magical Catastrophe"]

[System Sarcasm Level: Maximum.]

[Mental Stability: -35]

Rei looked up at the ruined sky.

"I just wanted to learn algebra…"

The sky exploded into the words: "YOU'RE MINE."

Rei stood up, soaked and twitching.

"…I'm going to the nurse's office."

As Rei limped out of the smoldering wreckage formerly known as Classroom 1-A, dragging his singed uniform and clutching the half-eaten bento like a cursed artifact, the school bell rang cheerfully in the distance.

It sounded like mockery. The hallway was a warzone. Love letters were on fire. A cupid statue had been impaled by a violin bow. One poor janitor was sweeping up enchanted flower petals that regenerated every time he blinked.

[System Notification: Casualties Detected — 17 Students Hospitalized, 1 Chair Permanently Traumatised, 3 Professors Resigned] [Principal Status: Crying in His Office]

Rei stumbled past a trio of terrified freshmen hiding behind a locker.

One of them whimpered, "W-Was that… normal?"

The other answered, "I think we transferred into a reverse harem battle royale…"

Rei didn't stop because he couldn't stop.

Not with the click of high heels behind him. Not with the flutter of holy prayer slips raining from the ceiling. Not with the faint, rhythmic "inhale… exhale…" from the shadows behind the bookshelf.

He needed sanctuary. He needed an escape. He needed the nurse's office.

…Which, in hindsight, was a terrible idea, because the school nurse was also a former fiancée.

Nurse Elvira Sweetheart. Professionally trained in healing magic. Personally trained in weaponized affection. Former childhood neighbor. Famous for two things: divine-grade poultices… and medically inappropriate kisses.

Rei pushed open the infirmary door.

The lights were dim. Soft violin music played from nowhere. Pink curtains fluttered, and the air smelled like rose-scented anesthetic.

Elvira looked up from her clipboard and smiled.

"Oh, my patient has arrived."

Rei froze.

"Nope," he said. "I'm good. Actually, pain builds character."

He turned to leave—

Too slow.

The door locked itself with a click. Chains of healing magic wrapped gently around his ankles and dragged him inside with the ominous tenderness of a bridal carry performed by an octopus.

"Oh no, no, no," Elvira purred, adjusting her lacy nurse's cap. "You've clearly been emotionally, spiritually, and romantically traumatized. This calls for emergency cuddle therapy."

Rei screamed internally.

[System Notification: ??? Has Entered the Wife Rankings] [Code Name: Nurse Elvira Sweetheart — Class Buff: "Medical Grade Affection"] [Danger Level: DO NOT FEED HER SUGAR]

"I can walk," Rei pleaded. "Really, I just wanted an ice pack—"

She pressed a finger to his lips. "Shh. Don't fight it."

She lowered him onto a velvet pillow that definitely didn't belong in a school clinic.

"You're safe now," she whispered, cupping his face. "No other girls. No screaming. No explosions. Just you. And me. And thirty minutes of mandatory skin-to-skin healing."

"…How is that legal?!"

"I have a permit," she said sweetly, holding up a scroll that simply read Permission Slip of Love with a crayon heart.

[System Notification: You Have Unlocked a Hidden Side Quest!] [Title: "Escape the Nurse's Embrace Without Offending Her Affection Meter"] [Reward: Freedom, Sanity, and Possibly a Lollipop]

Rei narrowed his eyes at the ceiling. "Okay, think, think… If I dive left, kick off the flower vase, ricochet off the holy curtain—"

The door exploded.

"REI!"

The entire harem burst through like angry magical Valkyries.

Draka tackled the nearest bookshelf. Velveria turned a pillow into bats. Sera raised a divine barrier. Rosette silently took out the lights.

Lilia stood in the doorway, hair ruffled, eyes blazing. "I KNEW IT. I knew I smelled childhood trauma and herbal love potions!"

Elvira looked up, unbothered. "Oh my. How many transfer students does one school allow?"

Rei slid off the velvet pillow, hit the floor, and began crawling toward the emergency exit sign glowing with false hope.

The last thing he saw before everything went white was a syringe flying through the air—

—and five magical girls all shouting: "HE'S MINE, NURSE!"

To be continued…