Surviving marriage in yandere world

The Royal Academy Coliseum was smoking ruins.

Chunks of marble lay in jagged heaps, magical scorch marks blazed like abstract art, and a half-melted statue of the founding king now looked suspiciously like it was dabbing.

The five-way magical wife brawl had ended not with victory, but with something closer to mutually assured destruction.

Seraphina's holy light cannons had burned away the clouds. Drakana's dragonfire had split the earth. Rosette's cursed daggers had blackened the air. Lilia's holy-laced chains had tangled half the arena into a cosmic knot. And Lucivella's abyssal despair magic had reduced three noble judges to gibbering jelly.

Now silence reigned. Then whole crowd, singed and traumatized, sat in stunned awe.

Rei, covered in soot, bleeding confetti from somewhere, and holding a half-burned sign that read "Vote Love Not War" muttered:

"…I'm too young to be a war widow."

The headmaster was gone. He had officially quit mid-battle, ripping off his robe, screaming something about "retirement at sea," and diving into the moat around the coliseum. The referees were either unconscious or had declared themselves pacifist monks.

In other words: Nobody had actually won.

Until—

The announcer's crystal orb, cracked and flickering, glowed one last desperate time.

"L-Ladies and gentlemen! After reviewing the results… the official winner of the Grand Royal Magic Academy Tournament Finals is…"

A drumroll began. Magical fanfare sputtered. Even the Pope's holy airship drifted overhead, dropping vials of emergency holy water like divine airstrikes on the smoldering ruins.

Then the orb shone and scoreboard lit up.

And across the entire stadium, letters appeared, glowing with blinding certainty.

"Champion: EMILIA VELVET."

Rei: "…Wait. Who?"

Crowd: "…WHO?!"

Then coliseum erupted.

"EMILIAAAAAA!" one side cheered.

"QUEEN OF UNDERDOGS!" screamed another.

"WHO IS SHE?!" sobbed a third.

The trophy, once glittering in the center stage, now materialized—untouched by fire or chaos—bearing a single name engraved in delicate golden script:

"Winner: Emilia Velvet."

Rei froze and his brain stuttered.

"…Emilia. The sweet, quiet childhood friend who got eliminated in round two because she tripped over her own ribbon during introductions?"

The same Emilia who hadn't even participated in the semi-finals because she was busy manning a tea booth?

The Emilia who spent most of the battle eating snacks in the stands and occasionally waving politely?

Yeah, that's Emilia.

The wives turned their heads in unison.

Five yandere gazes sharpened. Five heartbeats pulsed like war drums.

"…"

"…"

"…"

The silence was scarier than the explosions had been. Until the System decided to help.

[System Notification: "Main Girl Buff Activated."]

[Explanation: Narrative probability dictates that one 'unexpectedly sidelined sweetheart' must rise as the canon choice. Congratulations, Emilia has been selected as plot-favored heroine.]

[Warning: All other yandere affection levels have increased by +999 due to rejection trauma.]

[Update: Threat Level escalated to Global Extinction Event.]

Rei: "Wha—DON'T just decide that!"

System: [System Note: Democracy is overrated. This is a visual novel, not a senate hearing.]

The crowd, meanwhile, went feral.

"Long live Emilia!"

"She didn't fight, but she fought with our hearts!"

"A tactical pacifist victory!"

Merchants immediately began stamping her face onto banners, cakes, and suspiciously overpriced plushies.

One noble fainted. Another declared her the new saint of the empire.

Even the Pope's airship blared celestial trumpets in approval.

Seraphina's voice broke the chaos, trembling with disbelief.

"…This must be a divine error. My holy flame illuminated the skies for days! And yet she—she served biscuits in round one! How—how could…"

Her hands twitched. Her halo flickered like a broken lamp.

Drakana's claws dug into the ground, carving molten trenches.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE TEA GIRL WON?!" she roared, flames curling from her lips. "I DESTROYED A CONTINENTAL PLATE FOR HIM!"

Lilia's chains coiled and uncoiled around her waist like furious snakes.

"No, absolutely not, Rei is my groom. This is bureaucratic fraud. I want the judges executed. And the engraving artisan. And maybe the Pope too."

Rosette didn't speak. She merely drew one dagger, the blade already engraved with Emilia's initials—as if she'd been preparing this exact moment for years.

"…Delete target?" she whispered.

Then Lucivella… smiled 'Oh no' The Demon Queen smiled.

"That's adorable," she cooed, her voice silk and razors. "Little wallflower thinks she can skip the bloodbath and still claim the prize? I admire the audacity."

Her shadow grew three sizes larger.

"I'll kill her last."

Rei slammed his hands together.

"EVERYONE CALM DOWN. It's just a trophy! Just a name! It doesn't mean she—"

[System Notification: "Prize Wish Granted."]

[Wish Selected: "One Day Alone With Rei."]

Then the entire coliseum went still. 'One day Alone With him' The words echoed like doom-bells.

The wives snapped their heads toward Rei in the same horrifying synchronized swivel as haunted dolls.

"…Alone?"

"…With you?"

"…Today?"

The last fragments of Rei's soul attempted to escape through his ears.

He swallowed hard.

"Uh. System. Buddy. Friend. Surely you don't mean alone-alone, right? Like… spiritually alone? Metaphorically alone? With chaperones?"

[System Response: "Alone-Alone."]

[Clarification: No chaperones. No witnesses. No restraining orders. 24 uninterrupted hours of uninterrupted Emilia time.]

[Side Note: Please prepare coffin measurements.]

Rei's jaw fell and his stomach sank. Then the wives advanced.

Seraphina's aura cracked stained glass.

Drakana's wings spread like an executioner's blades.

Lilia's eyes burned with wedding vows carved in blood.

Rosette's dagger spun lazily.

Lucivella licked her lips like he was already dessert.

Rei: "H-Hey, we can talk about this—"

Emilia, meanwhile, stood up in the stands, holding a teacup, blinking owlishly.

"Eh? Did I… win? Oh no, that's embarrassing… I wasn't even trying…"

The crowd erupted into cheers again.

"MODESTY QUEEN!"

"PERFECT WAIFU!"

"SAINT EMILIA FOR EMPRESS!"

[System Reminder: "Rei's schedule for tomorrow has been locked. All appointments canceled. Emilia Time™ engaged."]

[Additional Note: "Good luck surviving. Or don't. I don't care."]

Rei screamed internally and also externally, he plastered a shaky smile and muttered:

"…Maybe if I fake my death again they'll go easy on me."

The wives answered by summoning enough magical pressure to crater the arena anew.

The crowd began selling "WHO WILL KILL REI FIRST?" betting slips.

The Pope's airship quietly disengaged and left orbit.

And somewhere in the heavens, Goddess Eris watched through her divine scrying mirror, slurping noodles and laughing until she choked.

The night ended in chaos. The finals had no brackets, no winners and not even judges.

And yet, officially, historically, eternally—

The Academy Finals Champion was Emilia Velvet. The girl who did absolutely nothing and now Rei had twenty-four hours alone with her.

…If he survived the other five wives first.

[System Final Notification: "All Yandere Threats Escalating to Level 999."]

[New Arc Triggered: The Emilia Date Apocalypse.]

[Difficulty: Impossible.]

[Achievement Unlocked: "Why Are You Still Alive?"]

The announcer tried to regain control. His cracked crystal orb sputtered sparks as he stammered:

"A-And thus concludes the Grand Royal Magic Academy Tournament Finals! Glory to our Champion, Emilia Velvet! May she—ahh, wait, it's catching fire again—" BOOM. The orb exploded, knocking him unconscious.

The crowd cheered louder.

Vendors immediately wheeled out "EMILIA MERCH™": hand-painted flags, bootleg keychains, and questionable body pillows that had clearly been made before the finals even began.

"Get your Emilia-approved tea blends!" a merchant cried.

"Limited edition—only 500 gold a pouch!" another shouted.

"BUY BEFORE THE DRAGON EATS YOU!" someone else added, dodging Drakana's tail swipe.

Meanwhile, Rei had fallen to his knees, staring at the golden trophy now glowing faintly with holy light.

"…It's official. I live in a parody. My life is a parody."

[System Notification: "Correction. You are the parody."]

[Additional Mockery: "Achievement locked: Protagonist by Accident."]

Then all wives closed in.

Seraphina lifted her staff, glaring heavenward. "If divinity itself has betrayed me, then I shall rewrite the scriptures with my own hands!"

Drakana snarled, claws sparking. "Forget the trophy. I'll carve 'Champion Drakana' into the mountain range."

Lilia raised her chains, rattling with marital menace. "I'll chain the sun itself if that's what it takes to fix this blasphemy."

Rosette whispered to Rei, dagger pressed lovingly against his neck: "Don't worry, darling. Once Emilia is gone, everything will be normal again."

Lucivella leaned down, her shadow covering them all. "Normal? There is no normal. There is only despair—and I find this twist delicious."

Rei coughed. "Y-Yeah, about that, could we maybe—NOT summon Armageddon over a tea-loving wallflower?!"

The stadium cracked again as magical pressure built from five sides. The surviving monks began chanting peace hymns in desperation. A noble family tried to flee, only to be blown away by the shockwave of Seraphina's holy aura colliding with Drakana's dragonfire.

The Pope's airship circled once more, this time dangling a massive banner:

"CONGRATULATIONS, EMILIA. OFFICIAL SAINT OF TEA."

Rei's sanity snapped audibly. "SHE BREWED LOOSE LEAF, NOT MIRACLES!"

[System Notification: "Incorrect. Tea is miracle."]

Then, to Rei's eternal despair, Emilia herself skipped timidly onto the ruined stage, trophy cradled in her arms like a kitten.

"Um… thank you, everyone? I… don't really deserve this, but… if the rules say I get a day with Rei, then… I'll do my best…!"

The crowd melted.

"ADORABLE."

"PURE."

"THIS IS TRUE LOVE."

Rei fainted on the spot and all wives howled in unison.

The System chimed:

[System Alert: "Catastrophic Yandere Outbreak Imminent."]

[Event Locked: "The Emilia Date Apocalypse – Commences Tomorrow at Dawn."]

[Final Note: "Consider drafting your will."]

To be continued…