Stray Cat Strut

Chapter Sixty-Two - Did This to Myself

"We really need to find a better way to intimidate our opponents than just having whichever part of the armed forces likes us best show up to their rallies and conferences. It's getting old and we've had three bombs go off killing soldiers already. If it continues, they might start bombing us instead.

Maybe target their family instead? It's more subtle, classy."

--Overheard conversation between two Arizona governors, 2031

***

I woke up at some ungodly hour the next morning, and only because Lucy got tired of shaking me awake and decided to straddle me in bed and started laying kisses down the side of my neck.

Where a shake couldn't wake me up, and I was pretty sure I could sleep through any alarm, my libido came in clutch.

"Hmm, good morning," I said.

Lucy grinned at me. She was close, and warm, and I reached up and slid my hands out of the blankets so that I could hold onto her waist. She had a bit of tummy, and with the way she was bending forwards, it was deliciously squishy.

"You're late," Lucy said.

"We have time." I muttered.

"You really, really don't," Lucy said. "Come on, up with you." She sat up straighter, and looked like she was ready to climb off from on top of me, but I wasn't ready for that. So I rolled over. Lucy squeaked as she fell onto the bed, and then I was dragging myself over to pin her down. "Cat," Lucy whined.

"It's your fault," I said. "Waking me up like that."

"It was that or dropping a bucket of water on your head," Lucy said.

"See, you made your choice. Now there's consequences."

"It's ten thirty. You need to be downstairs by twelve," Lucy said.

I blinked. "But that's plenty of time to make a mess out of you."

Lucy giggled, then climbed up onto her elbows so that she was within kissing range. "Tell you what," she murmured in a voice so low and seductive that I felt a shiver run down my spine. "You need a nice, long shower, don't you? So how about we go take care of that? Hmm?"

A very enjoyable shower and about an hour later, I was dressed in my samurai finery and heading downstairs, all while feeling a very nice kind of buzz.

A good wakeup, some nice shower sex, and now I was gonna head out with some friends to blow up aliens.

Today felt like it was going to be a nice day.

And then the elevator doors opened, and I found Princess standing there, bouncing on her toes and staring at me with wide, guileless eyes. "S-Stray Cat!" she said.

Yeah, no, today was gonna go downhill fast. "Hey Princess," I said. "Is your sister here too?"

"Yup! We've been here all morning."

"Wait, seriously?" I asked.

She nodded. "Knight said that it would be rude to just ride up to your floor. I'm sure you were doing important things all morning."

Well, she wasn't wrong about the 'doing important things' part. Looks like I owed Knight. "Yeah, something like that," I said. "I hope it wasn't too boring?"

"No! No, it wasn't," Princess said. "I was just looking around. But I didn't touch anything."

"Sure," I said.

"Is your mech alright? It looks like it's still all taken apart."

"Oh, the Nyanzerfaust? It'll be fine. I've been fixing it up for a week or so now. Still not done with it, but I'm getting there. Had to replace a bunch of sensors in the head, and there were some armoured plates that were bent out of shape."

"What happened?" she asked.

"Some fuck-off huge alien tried to eat me. A model thirty-three, I think it was. Like a spider crossed with a chameleon and a t-rex. Mean, ugly bitch. Killed it in the end, but it was tough."

"You killed it with your mech?" she asked. "I should get a mech."

I... yeah, okay, couldn't fault her for that. What kind of self-respecting woman didn't want a giant mech? "The mech helped. But I killed it with my sword. Stabbed it through the head."

I think I should have shut up, because Princess looked like she'd just kicked the adoration up three notches.

"Anyway," I said. It was eleven fifty-ish. "People ought to be showing up soon. We're expecting a few friends today."

"Who's coming?" Princess asked.

"Shy, you and your sister, Grasshopper, and Nya. Everyone else is a bit too busy."

It was a good mix, actually. Princess and Shy as newer, lower-tier samurai, Nya and Grasshopper as veterans, and me... somewhere in the middle.

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.

Speaking of, I glanced up and over as a ship flew into the parking garage. It wasn't one I was familiar with, though I could guess who the owner was with ease.

The hovering vehicle was long and sleek, part muscle-car, part mechanical insect, with long 'legs' that came down and clamped onto the driveway. There was a cockpit near the rear, and a single long gun on a gimbal that ran along the bottom of the ship.

The ship stood up on six legs, then skittered off to the side and parked itself precisely between the painted on parking markers.

"That must be Grasshopper," Princess said.

"No bet," I said. Couldn't think of anyone else that would drive something like that around. Though part of me expected her to drive a tricked-out school bus or something. Couldn't imagine why. "Yo! Grasshopper. Nice ride."

The cockpit window slid forwards, and Grasshopper pulled herself up and out. "Hello, Stray Cat!" she said before jumping out with a little, very unnecessary (but admittedly kinda cool) flip. "And hello Princess! Oh, and hello Knight as well!"

I glanced over my shoulder and saw Knight walking over in her full plate-armour getup, helmet tucked under one arm.

"Hello, Miss Grasshopper!" Princess said. "Nice ride!"

That last bit didn't sound right, coming from her. Was she imitating me?

"Why thank you," Grasshopper replied. "It's actually a bit of an old thing. I've had it for three years now. But I figured it was feeling a little lonely, locked up at home."

"That's cool," I said. "Can't be using multiple rides at once, right? So, you'll be flying patrol for us?"

Grasshopper nodded. "I can fit one more friend in there, if they're not a big friend and they don't mind minding their elbows and knees! It's a little tight."

"I'm sure we can manage," I said. "We'll use the Bastion over there. It's a bit of a slow clunker, but she's well-armoured and has a few bays for equipment and mechs."

Plus the Bastion had a few guns here and there too, in case things got too hot. Though having Grasshopper in her little ship would help if anything too big came out and tried to threaten the Bastion.

"The Bastion of Sekhmet," Grasshopper read off the ship's side. "That's a very pretty name."

"Thanks," I said, as if I'd come up with it.

I glanced at the entrance as two more vehicles came in. Shy's inconspicuous little sedan, and right behind her Nya on her nice little hovercycle. They rode in, then went off to park to the side.

"So, did you prepare a little catering for today's event?" Grasshopper asked.

"Uh... no?" I said. "There's a mini-fridge in the Bastion though. I think there's some soda left."

"Soda's bad for your teeth," Grasshopper said. I was pretty sure we were all more or less beyond toothaches, but whatever. "I brought some casserole that I made, and some chili, both with and without meat, and some cupcakes that I had left over from another thing. Princess, would you be so kind as to help me get everything out?"

Well... shit, I was kind of hungry, and while I'd had a snack after waking up, it didn't exactly leave my stomach full. Fuck it, we were having a potluck or something, I guess. "I guess I'll go tell Lucy. She might have some leftover something or other left in the fridge. And paper plates."

"Food with friends always tastes so much better on paper plates," Grasshopper said. "I wonder if there's something in the texture of the plates or if it's simply nostalgia for happy times that makes for such a good spice?"

"Dunno," I said. "But I guess we can find out. Besides, we need to go over the plan a little before we set off. I was going to do that in mid-air, but might as well do it around lunch."

Of course, Nya came over and immediately started to bother Grasshopper, who took it with the happy, unbotherable smile of someone used to dealing with rambunctious children, and Shy stood far from everyone, just... kind of staring.

Yeah, this whole thing had decent odds of sucking terribly.

***

Shitty AI rendering of Grasshopper's ride: