Separation Anxiety

24.

#Ask Me

Dawoon sat with his back against the bed’s headboard, staring out the window without moving. At first glance, one might think he was still asleep.

About an hour ago, when the housekeeper came to check if he was awake, he was already up but didn’t respond. Thinking Dawoon was still asleep, the housekeeper left without waking him further. There was no reason to get up early before March, so no one else came to wake him.

In fact, even during vacations, Dawoon rarely slept in. He usually woke up at his regular time, and getting up then allowed him to see Hayun briefly before he left for work. But today, he was deliberately staying in bed, skipping breakfast.

Last night, his mind was too cluttered to fall asleep easily. After tossing and turning for a while, just as he was drifting off, he heard the door open. He could have gotten up immediately to check who it was, but he didn’t. Having just fallen asleep, he was too lazy to move.

When he sensed someone standing right next to the bed, he reconsidered. Then, he heard his name, “Jeong Dawoon,” being called. It was Hayun’s voice. The lingering wariness dissipated at that quiet voice.

It wasn’t unusual for Hayun to visit his room in the middle of the night. Though it had improved a lot now, right after their parents passed away, Dawoon had several seizures while sleeping, so Hayun often checked to make sure he was sleeping well. Dawoon, too, could sleep without nightmares when Hayun was nearby.

Maybe I can sleep now…

Despite tossing and turning due to Hayun’s subtle attitude, he felt reassured by Hayun’s presence.

‘Stay like this. Just like this.’

As he was drifting off to sleep, he heard a whisper-like mumble.

What does that mean?

He wanted to ask, but couldn’t overcome the wave of drowsiness.

When he woke up in the morning, he wondered if it had been a dream. His memory wasn’t clear because he had been half-asleep. He thought he had heard Hayun’s voice on the boundary between dream and reality.

Something feels off.

He couldn’t shake off this nagging feeling. He had felt that Hayun was different from usual ever since he was caught watching that adult video. But he couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was strange. Only an inexplicable uneasiness remained.

Am I being too sensitive? Maybe it’s nothing. Is it bothering me more because it’s the first time I’ve been caught doing something out of line? Should I ask Ui-hyeon? I wonder if he’s had similar experiences.

After pondering, he realized the only person he could talk to about this was Lee Ui-hyeon anyway. After hesitating for a few more minutes, he picked up his phone and messaged Ui-hyeon.

– Have you ever been caught by someone else watching the stuff you sent yesterday?

After typing it out, he realized how ridiculous it was to ask such a thing.

Knock knock. The sound of someone knocking on the door startled him, even though he hadn’t done anything wrong. He quickly shoved his phone under the blanket and answered, “Yes.”

“Can I come in?”

It was Hayun’s voice.

“Come in.”

At Dawoon’s answer, the door opened and Hayun entered, dressed in a suit. He seemed to have finished preparing for work.

“You were awake. Why didn’t you come down for breakfast?”

He seemed concerned that Dawoon had skipped breakfast. Dawoon quietly looked up at Hayun. It was the usual Hayun. The subtle discomfort from yesterday was nowhere to be found.

“Yesterday…”

“About yesterday.”

They started speaking at the same time, so Dawoon stopped and looked at Hayun. Hayun chuckled and ruffled Dawoon’s hair.

“I think I overreacted yesterday.”

Hayun spoke first. Dawoon didn’t know how to respond, so he lowered his gaze and chewed on his lower lip.

“I overlooked the fact that you’re at an age where such curiosity is natural.”

As Dawoon remained silent, Hayun added another comment with a low sigh. Dawoon still kept his mouth shut. He wanted to argue that he didn’t have such curiosity, but since he had been caught yesterday, he felt it was meaningless to say anything.

“If you’re really curious, just ask me.”

Surprised by these words, Dawoon looked up. Considering Hayun’s reaction last night, he couldn’t understand why he was suddenly saying this. When their eyes met, Hayun smiled wryly.

“Rather than watching something inappropriate clumsily, I’ll get you something proper.”

Dawoon blinked in confusion at his words. He didn’t know whether to say first that he didn’t want to watch such things, or to ask what exactly Hayun was planning to get him. He didn’t know what was considered inappropriate and what was proper.

“I could also teach you in other ways.”

The following words were even stranger. He couldn’t even guess what “other ways” meant.

“Have you…”

Suddenly curious, he started to speak but hesitated, feeling it wasn’t right to ask. As always, Hayun quietly waited for Dawoon to finish. Knowing that he would wait like that until he finished what he had started to say, Dawoon regretted bringing it up, but it was too late now.

Finally, he let out a long sigh and turned his head, avoiding the gaze he had been meeting. He felt he couldn’t speak while looking at Hayun’s face.

“Where did you learn about such things? Have you watched them too?”

He ended up vaguely referring to everything as “such things.” He couldn’t find any better words. He felt like dying of embarrassment, never having imagined he’d have this kind of conversation with Hayun.

When he heard Hayun offer to teach him directly, he became curious about who had taught Hayun, but as soon as he asked, he regretted it, feeling it was a truly unnecessary question.

“No, nevermind. You don’t need to answ-“

“Are you curious?”

Contrary to expectations, Hayun asked with a faint smile.

“Well…”

He felt he should have answered no, that he wasn’t curious, even if it was a lie, but the moment he met Hayun’s eyes, he missed the timing. Honestly, he was curious.

“I’ll tell you when the opportunity arises. For now, I need to go to work.”

Hayun checked his watch, patted Dawoon’s head once more, and turned around.

“Don’t skip meals just because you’re not going to school. Eat something, even if it’s light.”

Before leaving the room, he didn’t forget to nag like a parent.

Only after the door closed did Dawoon groan and pull the blanket over his head. He felt like he could die of embarrassment. How did he end up in a situation where he was discussing such strange topics with Hayun? This was all because of Lee Ui-hyeon. Why did he send such a useless video…

Bzzt. His phone vibrated under the blanket. Checking the caller, it was Lee Ui-hyeon. Since he had just been blaming him, he thought it was too late to act decent and pressed the answer button.

“Hello.”

[Did you get caught by your brother?]

The sudden loud question almost made his eardrum burst, forcing him to move the phone away from his ear. It was fortunate that the call came after Hayun had left. If he had still been in the room, he would have heard Ui-hyeon’s voice clearly.

[I told you to watch it when you’re alone.]

“I did watch it when I was alone.”

[Then how did you get caught? Oh no, am I going to die at the hands of your brother? No, but that’s a bit weird too. Doesn’t everyone watch that kind of stuff? My brother even has a folder for it on his computer.]

Dawoon couldn’t even sigh at Ui-hyeon’s words. He suspected that the video sent to him might have been stolen from his brother’s folder.

“Do you share that kind of stuff with your brother?”

He couldn’t tell if he and Hayun were the strange ones, or if it was Ui-hyeon who was strange for knowing about the folder on his brother’s computer.

[Are you crazy? How could we share that?]

At least it seemed he hadn’t taken the video with his brother’s permission or agreement.

“So, have you ever been caught watching that kind of stuff?”

He wondered if he had been caught because of his own clumsiness.

[Yes, I have.]

Dawoon chuckled at the answer without hesitation. Apparently, it wasn’t just his problem.

“By whom? Your parents? Your brother?”

[My brother. If our parents knew I watched that kind of stuff, they’d faint on the spot. You know how old-fashioned they are.]

Remembering that both of Ui-hyeon’s parents were teachers, Dawoon found himself nodding at his words.

“What did your brother say?”

[He just laughed like crazy and left.]

“That’s it?”

[Yeah. What else could he say? He watches more of it himself. I told you, he has folders organized on his computer.]

It was unreasonable to compare Ui-hyeon’s brother with Hayun. Ui-hyeon’s brother was only a year older, so they were almost like friends.

[What did your brother say? Did you get scolded?]

He hadn’t mentioned being caught by his brother at all, but Ui-hyeon was certain that the only person Dawoon would be concerned about was his brother.

“I wasn’t really scolded, but…”

No, was he scolded? Having never seen Hayun get angry in his life, Dawoon didn’t know how to define yesterday’s incident.

[Sounds like you heard some unpleasant words.]

Unpleasant words. It was ambiguous. If he was going to scold him or tell him not to do it, why did he just tell Dawoon to ask him directly? It didn’t match up with him confiscating the tablet PC yesterday, and Dawoon was confused about how to react.

[Your brother is, how should I put it… definitely a bit excessive. I always tell you, don’t I? He’s not normal.]

Until now, Dawoon hadn’t paid much attention to those words. He used to brush it off, thinking it was because Hayun was the heir to the Haedo Group, and because he himself was part of the Haedo Group.

But for some reason, this time, the words “then what is normal?” kept lingering on the tip of his tongue.