Separation Anxiety

23.

#Desire

The CCTV wasn’t only installed in Dawoon’s room. For security reasons, cameras were installed throughout the mansion, and all the staff working there were aware of this. Of course, Dawoon was no exception.

However, there were only two places where CCTVs were installed even in the private spaces of bedrooms: Dawoon’s room and Haram’s room. Only the butler knew about the existence of these CCTVs, and only Hayun could access them.

“Because you never know what might happen to the young siblings.”

That was the ostensible reason. Especially since Haram was young, the butler casually accepted it, saying he’d seen many such cases in the news where someone might harm a child away from others’ eyes.

But what expression would they make if they knew that the CCTV was actually meant to watch Dawoon, not Haram?

Most would say, “What could possibly happen to a high school student inside the mansion that requires such measures?” But Hayun thought differently. There were even staff members who approached them with the intention of targeting Haedo Group’s wealth. In fact, Hayun had encountered a staff member trying to seduce him when he was in high school.

‘Aren’t you curious? How it would feel.’

She was in her early twenties and prettier than the others. She had come to Hayun’s room late at night, offering to show the innocent young master a new world as she unbuttoned her blouse to seduce him. Of course, he flatly refused and told his father the next day, resulting in her dismissal.

There was no guarantee such a thing wouldn’t happen again. Hayun fundamentally didn’t trust people. Most of those who approached Hayun, Dawoon, and Haram were not out of pure goodwill, but after Haedo Group’s money and power.

It was no different even if the target was a minor. Rather, they often revealed their adult desires more easily, taking advantage of their naivety. Having gone through such a period himself, Hayun couldn’t help but be wary of such people after Dawoon entered high school.

He didn’t expect to witness something unexpected through that CCTV though.

Hayun’s gaze turned to the tablet PC thrown on the desk.

‘I didn’t think there was any point in just taking that.’

When Dawoon said those words, Hayun had laughed wryly. He was too honest to arouse any other suspicions.

The computer Dawoon used was connected to the house network anyway, so Hayun could check it anytime. The phone he had bought for Dawoon also had anti-hacking programs as well as mirroring and location tracking programs linked to Hayun’s phone. It was something Dawoon could say because he was completely unaware of these facts.

It was Hayun who had kept Jeong Dawoon so pure. So that no one else’s hands would touch him, so he wouldn’t have to see the filth of the world. To protect him, Hayun had responded without complaint to his grandfather’s excessive demands and had quickly established his position within Haedo Group.

But now he felt that wasn’t enough anymore. Until now, Dawoon had only gone between home and school, but things would be different from now on. As Dawoon’s range of activities expanded, there would be more moments beyond Hayun’s sight.

If only I could keep him locked up at home.

A bitter smile escaped at the unrealistic desire that suddenly arose. It was ridiculous that he had just told Dawoon to become independent from Haram.

He couldn’t really keep him locked up, but he couldn’t just watch from afar like before either.

“So he’s grown up enough to watch porn now, is that it.”

Hayun’s lips curved slightly into a faint smile as he muttered quietly. Yes, he was no longer a child. The age where he didn’t need to know anything was now over.

***

A faint moan brushed his ear. The delicate body pinned beneath him struggled to escape, but he subdued it with force.

‘Wait, ugh!’

The fair, beautiful face contorted. The eyes looking up at him were filled with moisture. Resentment and bewilderment. Those were the emotions he read first. It wasn’t surprising because he had expected it. As he slowly lowered his head to approach, the eyebrows trembled and the eyes closed. He kissed the finely quivering eyelids.

I don’t want to torment you. It’s just…

The skin under his palm was hot. The body that flinched with every touch of his fingertips was simply lovable.

‘No, don’t! Please…!’

He grabbed the two hands pushing against his chest and pinned them above the head, then covered the lips to stop the words. As he deeply thrust his tongue in and ravaged the mouth, the struggling gradually ceased. The suppressed moans circled inside the mouth, then burst into ragged breaths when the locked lips parted.

‘Why…’

The eyes containing his reflection wavered. Even the mess of confusion and fear only fanned his desire more.

‘Why indeed.’

As he returned the question with a question, the beautiful face contorted. As if giving up on understanding, the head turned away. Despite being the one who had pushed things this far, it was disappointing to lose that gaze. He grabbed the chin to make those eyes face him again, then once more overlapped their lips. At the same time, he pushed his long-suppressed desire between the parted legs.

Huk. A pain-filled moan flowed from between the red lips, but even that was swallowed in the entangling of tongues. The pain soon turned into pleasure. With each shake of the body, the face flushed with heat further fanned his desire.

‘Dawoon.’

He called his name in a voice more tender than ever. He saw tears falling from the corners of the closed eyes. As he kissed those tears, the closed eyes opened, and his face was reflected in those pupils.

‘I really hate this.’

At the quiet but firm voice, his body froze as if doused with cold water.

‘Someone like you… I wish you would just disappear.’

His resentful voice pierced Hayun’s heart like a blade.

***

Huk.

With a short gasp, his eyes flew open. Even as he stared at the darkness-stained ceiling, he couldn’t distinguish whether it was a dream or reality. Hayun lay motionless for a long time, just blinking, before finally letting out a long sigh and covering his eyes with his arm.

How dreadful.

He swallowed the words lingering between his teeth and raised his upper body. Feeling a dull ache below his waist, he looked down and swallowed a hollow laugh. It was just a dream, and even though the ending was the worst, his body had responded to desire. At least he hadn’t had a wet dream since he hadn’t reached climax in the dream.

With no other choice, he got out of bed and headed to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and stood under it. As he stroked his fully erect member with his hand, the already sensitive sensation immediately surged. The sound of flesh against flesh was swallowed by the sound of water.

“Dawoon.”

The moment that name flowed from between his lips, blood rushed downward. Finally, an opaque white liquid spurted out, staining the bathroom wall.

Whoo. He brushed back his disheveled bangs while taking a long breath. Even as he looked at the traces of lust dirtying the wall, he felt no guilt. That phase had long passed, when he had harbored desires for an even younger Dawoon.

In the end, a dream is just a dream.

He frowned and shook his head as Dawoon’s voice saying he hated it seemed to repeat in his ears. He turned the shower to cold water, and a chilly stream that made his hair stand on end poured down. Only then did the lingering remnants of desire and heat seem to be washed away.

It had been a long time since he’d had such a dream. It was because he had accidentally seen Dawoon watching porn. Come to think of it, the Dawoon in his dream had grown so much. To think he could look straight at him and refuse, saying he hated it… Before, he would just struggle and writhe trying to escape, and yet unable to resist the pleasure, he would cling to Hayun’s embrace while whimpering.

Which would be the reality? He couldn’t even dare to imagine. Even Hayun couldn’t be sure.

The thought of not knowing made him more anxious. The idea that Dawoon might slip through his fingers like sand…

He quietly steadied his breath, suppressing the chaotic thoughts. It had been 15 years. It was longer than half of his own life, and for Dawoon, it was practically his entire lifetime. That time couldn’t crumble so easily.

After drying himself with a towel, Hayun came out into the hallway wearing only a shower robe. The inside of the mansion was truly silent. It was still dawn, and except for the light illuminating the outside of the mansion, everything was steeped in pitch-black darkness.

He quietly moved towards Dawoon’s room. When he turned the handle, the door opened smoothly without resistance. Usually, it was natural for it not to be locked, but the fact that anyone could enter so easily made him frown slightly. In fact, he was the improper intruder, but he didn’t consider that.

Inside the room, he could see the silhouette of a person lying on the bed. He approached as quietly as possible and stood in front of it.

In the streetlight filtering through the window, he could see Dawoon’s face as he slept lying straight on his back. As time passed, his eyes adjusted to the darkness, and Dawoon’s face became clearer.

“Jeong Dawoon.”

Hayun’s voice quietly resonated in the darkness. He reached out to caress Dawoon’s cheek, but there was no response. After confirming his warmth, the tumultuous feelings seemed to calm a little.

“Stay like this. Just stay like this.”

Then I’ll take care of everything else.

Reaffirming his quiet resolve once more, he stood there looking down at Dawoon for a long time.