Separation Anxiety

16.

#Brother Like a Mother

[I’ll be back soon.]

After a brief silence, the answer Hayun had been hoping for finally came.

“Are you sure? It’s been a while since you’ve hung out with your friends.”

[…]

Now that Hayun had taken a step back, Dawoon seemed to be considering what to do and remained silent.

“Don’t worry about it. I’m having a good time with Haram.”

A faint smile played on Hayun’s lips as he said this.

[No, I’m done with everything. I’m just following the others around while they shop, so it’s fine if I leave.]

Although he said it was fine, the other kids were probably begging to stay until dinner. That’s why he couldn’t answer right away when initially asked if he’d be home before dinner.

“If you’re coming back, I’ll send a driver.”

[You don’t have to go that far…]

“You’re coming back early because of me, right?”

Because of Jeong Hayun. Dawoon didn’t deny the deliberately dropped hint.

“Just let me know where you are and wait a bit. I’ll send Driver Kim, so you can come back comfortably in the car.”

[It’s really not necessary…]

“I’m not okay with it. Just listen to me.”

[…Alright.]

Finally, after getting everything he wanted, Hayun ended the call. The corners of his mouth naturally curved into a smile.

“Big brother.”

At the small voice, he turned to see Haram peeking his face through the door of Hayun’s study. Hayun smiled brightly and opened his arms. Only then did Haram enter the study and scurry towards Hayun. He came right up to him but stopped about a step away, hesitating. Hayun lifted him up and sat him on his lap.

“Big brother, are you busy?”

Haram looked up at Hayun’s face and asked cautiously.

“Not today.”

Perhaps because it had been hard to see Hayun even on weekends lately, Haram was being considerate, which was unusual for a five-year-old. It was obvious he felt uneasy. If Dawoon had been home, Haram wouldn’t have come looking for Hayun like this.

“When is Dawoon coming home?”

This seemed to be what he really wanted to ask.

“Do you miss Dawoon?”

Hayun asked, stroking the child’s soft cheek. Haram nodded vigorously.

“I do too.”

When Hayun agreed with him, Haram smiled broadly, pleased. When he smiled like this, he really resembled Dawoon when he was younger.

“I’ll tell Dawoon to come home.”

This seemed to be the answer Haram wanted most, as his face brightened even more. With Haram still on his lap, Hayun called Driver Kim.

“Where are you?”

[I’m following Young Master Dawoon at a distance, sir.]

“In about 10, no, 20 minutes, call Dawoon and ask for his exact location, then pick him up.”

[Pardon?]

Driver Kim was taken aback, wondering why he was being told to openly contact and pick up Dawoon when he had been instructed to keep surveillance.

“I’ve spoken with Dawoon. Don’t approach him suddenly, make sure to call first to confirm his location before picking him up.”

Hayun gave one more warning to avoid any mistakes that might reveal they had been following Dawoon, then ended the call.

“Is big brother coming?”

Haram asked, his eyes sparkling. When Hayun nodded, the child clapped his hands in delight.

“Do you like Dawoon that much?”

“I love him! I love him the most in the whole world!”

Hayun chuckled at the child’s innocent answer.

‘Perhaps because Madam is no longer with us, Young Master Haram always says he loves Dawoon the most.’

Hayun remembered what the butler had said recently. Just as children that age constantly say they love their mothers, Haram proclaimed his love for Dawoon several times a day.

While it was an unavoidable situation given their family circumstances, Hayun wondered if it was okay to let Haram continue being so attached to Dawoon, considering Dawoon would soon be a high school senior.

“When Dawoon comes, I’m going to ask him to draw for me!”

Even though Dawoon hadn’t arrived yet, Haram was already listing things he wanted to do with him.

“Last time, Dawoon drew me a tiger. It went ‘Roar’!”

Watching Haram talk about Dawoon with sparkling eyes, a smile spread across Hayun’s face. Maybe he should leave things as they are for a little longer. Just as Haram needed Dawoon, it seemed Dawoon still needed Haram too.

At least while Haram was seeking him out, Dawoon wouldn’t have the opportunity to look elsewhere. That alone made Haram’s presence sufficiently meaningful.

***

“Big brother!”

As soon as Dawoon opened the front door and stepped in, Haram came running.

“Wait a moment. Let big brother take off his clothes first.”

Haram clung to Dawoon’s legs, not even giving him time to remove his jacket. Only when Hayun, who had followed behind, picked up Haram could Dawoon put down the shopping bags he was carrying and take off his jacket.

“What’s that?”

Hayun asked, looking at the shopping bags.

“It’s for Haram.”

At that answer, Hayun looked inside the bags to find various items from toys to clothes. He almost laughed out loud, realizing that after shopping with friends, everything Dawoon bought was for Haram, not himself. He wondered what expressions Dawoon’s friends had while watching him choose these things. Somehow, it reminded him of a mother who only buys things for her child when she goes out.

“You’ve become quite the mother.”

At this half-joking remark, Dawoon turned around with an embarrassed expression. But he didn’t deny it. It seemed he really wanted to play the role of a mother for Haram, which made Hayun sigh.

“Haram, come here.”

When Dawoon held out his arms, Haram immediately struggled to go to him. As soon as Hayun put him down, Haram ran to Dawoon and fell into his embrace. Unlike with Hayun, he was clearly spoiled with Dawoon.

As Dawoon held Haram, the child rubbed his cheek against Dawoon’s, smiling. Just being near Dawoon was enough to keep a smile on the child’s face.

“Let’s try this on and see if it fits.”

Dawoon took out a cardigan from the shopping bag. It was a pastel yellow color.

“Chick!”

Haram exclaimed as soon as he saw the clothes. Dawoon nodded, smiling at his words.

“Why did you buy clothes?”

“He seems to have grown again recently.”

Although he meant that the child had outgrown his clothes, it wasn’t a particularly convincing reason. If the clothes had become too small, the butler would have already replaced them with larger sizes.

“Are there no clothes that fit him?”

If that were the case, it would be an issue to blame on the butler or the servants in charge of Haram’s care.

“That’s not it. I just saw it while walking around and thought it would look cute on Haram.”

He meant that it wasn’t necessarily needed, but he bought it thinking of Haram. Perhaps his friends had pressured him to buy something, and he reluctantly chose clothes for Haram.

“You should have bought something for yourself instead.”

Dawoon was still a teenager. Wondering if there was something he wanted for himself, Hayun asked, and Dawoon turned to look at him. He stared as if he had something to say, but for some reason, he just furrowed his brow once and turned away.

“What is it?”

Dawoon had started swallowing his words after his parents’ accident. Knowing the reason, Hayun didn’t let it slide when Dawoon acted like this.

“It’s okay, if you have something to say, say it.”

He wanted Dawoon to have no secrets, at least from him. Speaking in the kindest voice possible, Dawoon, who had seemed to be pondering, took a deep breath and looked at Hayun again.

“The clothes in my closet, do you buy them and put them there?”

This was an unexpected question. He hadn’t seemed to care at all until now, so why was he suddenly asking about this?

“They’ve always changed with the seasons, so I just thought that’s how it was. But thinking about it, even the sizes change correctly, and I wondered how they know so well.”

He meant that while he didn’t pay attention to the clothes changing because it had been that way since he was young, he found it strange that the sizes fit so perfectly.

The corners of Hayun’s mouth curved up silently. Whether Dawoon was conscious of it or not, he liked that Dawoon thought of him as someone who would know even the smallest details about him.

“I’m sorry if you were expecting that, but I didn’t have time for that.”

Answering honestly, Hayun saw Dawoon’s earlobes turn red as he turned his head away from their gaze. He seemed embarrassed by the expression ‘if you were expecting that.’

“But I did give instructions on your size and had them choose and bring the clothes.”

At these additional words, Dawoon’s large eyes turned back to Hayun. The way he blinked with his clear eyes while looking up was quite cute.

“How do you know?”

“What?”

“My size.”

When they were younger, it was natural to know his size because they were always together, and Hayun would take him shopping for clothes. But for the past two years, they only saw each other briefly on weekends, so it was understandable to find it strange.

“By eye?”

Hayun answered with a smile, but Dawoon’s eyes narrowed. He still didn’t seem to understand.

“Did you not like them?”

Slightly changing the subject, Dawoon shook his head, saying that wasn’t the case. From the beginning, Dawoon wasn’t interested in dressing up. That’s why he had been randomly picking clothes from his closet to wear until now.

“Shall we go clothes shopping together?”

“Huh?”

Dawoon’s eyes widened, probably thinking it was an unexpected suggestion.

“You only bought things for Haram today. The season’s changing soon anyway, so we should start preparing winter clothes. Since we’re on the topic, let’s go tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“Is it bothersome?”

When asked if it was bothersome, Dawoon looked at him with a hardened expression.

“You spent today with your friends, so give me some time tomorrow too.”

Hayun smiled even more brightly, deliberately mentioning that Dawoon had gone out today. Sensing the underlying meaning, the corners of Dawoon’s mouth twitched slightly. The more he reacted, the more Hayun just shrugged as if it was no big deal.

“Alright.”

Having finally secured a promise to go out with Dawoon, Hayun’s smile deepened even further.