Rising Shards

“Alright, hgghhh,” Oka said. She strummed her fingertips on a paper bag before tearing it open. She shook the bottle, rattling the pills inside. “New meds time. Am I nervous? Perhaps.”

“You got this,” I said. “You wanted these real bad, and the last ones weren’t working.”

“Right.” Oka said. “You’re right! These should hopefully be better than the last set. That’s what my doctor said.” She rattled the bottle again. “I may get a bit loopy and out of it, so I apologize for my actions over the next few days and maybe the week.”

“Can I film this?” Kalei asked as Oka took her medication with a sip of pop. “I need good content for my upcoming channel, and loopy Oka might be the key that makes me go viral.”

“I’m gonna preemptively veto that one.” I said. “If you do get loopy, did they tell you how long it’d be for?”

“When I first got my anxiety meds, it was about a week, but the worst of it was the first day or so.” Oka said.

That’s kind of like mine. I didn’t bring that up, since my medications were different than Oka’s, and I didn’t want to immediately make it about me. Though as soon as I didn’t say what I was thinking, I felt a bit more barfy. I started to worry that I was having some kind of side effect to the pill, but they’d never given me an upset stomach before.

The table was a bit empty for dinner. Lillia wanted to use her free time with no play to study to Ko’s dismay when she wanted to hang out, but then Ko ended up going to practice beam chasers with her sister. Iris and Maia were gone, likely due to Iris’ suspension, and the love trio were probably in the garden having a fifteenth consecutive reunion tea party. Which, honestly, good for them.

I was curious where the new students would sit if they were nearby. Michi sat by themself, getting a big sketchbook and doodling in it, not noticing any of us looking their way. Marmalade looked a bit lost with her dinner until we waved her over.

“Thanks!” Marmalade said.

We made some small talk about classes a bit and Marmalade’s first impressions of our teachers and some of the other students.

“It’s not fair that we have the most terrifying prefect on our dorm’s floor,” Marmalade said.

“Oh, Naomi?” I asked.

“The one that yelled at me this morning for ‘closing my door at too rapid a velocity'?”

“Yep, that’s Naomi.” Oka said. “She has a thing about doors. And quiet mornings and no noise after bedtime.”

“Fun,” Marmalade said. “I guess there probably isn’t a fun prefect, though.”

“Hey, that reminds me, which room are you in?” Kalei asked.

“Right now I’m in the big guest room waiting to get assigned my ‘real’ room.” Marmalade said. “Why do you ask?”

Kalei pulled out the notebook sign again. “Zates and I were looking for roommates so I should probably ask.”

“Oh, for real?” Marmalade asked. She squirmed in her seat. “I wasn’t expecting anyone to actually ask me.”

“Why not? You seem pretty cool,” Kalei said. “And if we have you, then we would be guaranteed no Scrungy.”

“That would be awesome!” I said. “I mean, you being our roommate. Not just us not having Scrungy.”

“Then I wouldn’t have Scrungy either, so I get ya,” Marmalade said. “I can’t guarantee I’d be your roommate, but the dorm manager lady did tell me I could let her know if certain roommates seemed right to me.”

“Just a heads up, this one’s gonna be jealous.” Kalei said, bonking Oka.

“Hey! Why would you say that?” Oka asked. “I wouldn’t be jealous, Marmalade.”

“She’s so gonna be jealous.” Kalei said. “But as long as you don’t make a play for Zates here—I’m joking, I’m joking!” She held her hands up to block Oka trying to strike with a conjured blade of grass. “Don’t pull a Scrungy and Iris on me or you’ll get suspended.”

“You know I get nervous when you say stuff about people coming between me and Zeta.” Oka said.

“Right, sorry.” Kalei said. “I should stop making jokes like that.”

“You should.” I said.

“You’re lucky my pills are starting to kick in,” Oka said.

“Sorry, Marmalade,” I said. “We get like that sometimes.”

“It happens when you have a firecracker like me in the mix, you know?” Kalei said, stretching her arms. I hope that doesn’t affect your desire to join the Fortress of the Badass Raiders?”

“I only begrudgingly agreed to that name.” I said.

“Let me think about it a bit,” Marmalade said, widely smiling with her eyes closed. “I don’t wanna rush into things, you know?”

After dinner, Oka started to feel her new meds kick in and needed to go lie down. Kalei told me she was going to look for Nikki, leaving me alone to contemplate. Of the new students, Olivia was an easy no-go, and Michi and Caeda I didn’t get immediate friend vibes from. I didn’t not want to be their friend, but so far Marmalade was the only one I’d connected with at all.

I pictured Marmalade becoming our new roommate, getting Oka’s old bed. My brain gave me a twist in my imagination as Marmalade’s grin was gone all of a sudden, with her staring at me, like she couldn’t believe she was stuck with me. I realized as I tossed and turned that maybe that was why Marmalade’s words earlier mixed with Kalei's made a strange pit form in my stomach. Like I’d forgotten something or was denying something. Something about me being trans and keeping it almost locked up and hidden while she was more open about it made me feel unsettled. Like I was doing it wrong, maybe? Or that I was letting people like myself down somehow. I suddenly got really pukey, and being alone wasn’t great for that, so I found Stella before she left and asked if I could spend the night at home.