Rise of the Strongest Exorcist (DxD parody)

Kicking aside a chair in the abandoned church, Regina screamed in frustration. "Fuck! Why can't we find that bastard?"

It had been a few days since they came to Spartanburg town, but even after searching every single day for the holder of the Dragon type Divine Gear, they still couldn't find them. Hell, they couldn't even find a faint trace of their presence, which was absurd.

The only one that somewhat matched the description they'd been given was a young man working under Sharon Sitrin. But they had already proven that his gear was only that of a weak, lesser Dragon. Someone in this blasted city had the blessed gear of a greater Dragon.

"Calm down, Ray. You know destroying the room won't change anything," Duane said. 

He looked like a middle-aged man—if remarkably fit for middle age. The Nephilim wore a gray trench coat over an unremarkable blue suit and a hat. 

"Again, though… are you sure about your plan with the girl?" he asked.

The dark-haired Fallen blinked at him, then a grin split her face. 

It was enough to give him whiplash. Regina's mood swings were becoming a liability. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem. But now, the recklessness of her current plan jeopardized one of their main objectives. 

If he didn't know she had Lord Abaddon's favor and backing, he would already have sold her out. There was little love between them, after all. They each had their own desires and aspirations. 

His question immediately calmed down Regina's anger, replacing it with glee.

"Ha ha ha. I couldn't be more sure! Serpent Bearer would be so much more powerful in my hands, instead of being wielded by a useless human."

Regina couldn't wait. Just a little more, and she would be able to help the supreme leader of Fallen Angels like her, her beloved Azrael. She had been dedicated and loyal to the Leader of the Fallen Angels for centuries, despite his thirst for peace and non-aggression. 

Sadly, her feelings had never been reciprocated—no matter what she did. Soon, though, she was sure everything would change. 

Azrael was obsessed with the Divine Gear system. Becoming the first Fallen Angel to obtain one would bring her to his attention. As for what would happen to Asa? Regina couldn't care less. The girl should be honored to die for such a great purpose. 

Regina had little interest in the life of mortals. They all died so fast.

"I still don't understand how it's possible," Duane said. "I mean… aren't Divine Gear only usable by humans or half-breeds?"

"How could it work with an angel?" another asked. James was the one who had asked. He was truly puzzled by this strange matter. 

"How should I know? The Divine Gear system has been going bonkers for some time." Regina shrugged. "It's what should make the impossible possible, as I transfer her Divine Gear to myself." 

Initially, the Divine Gear system had been created to give humans a fighting chance when war between supernaturals had spilled into the mortal realm. Without Divine Gear, humans were virtually helpless when it came to fighting high-ranked supernaturals.

Some humans could indeed reach absurd levels of power. Such as the current Cardinal of the Church. But those people were incredibly rare. 

Divine Gear were a game changer in the war. They bridged the gap between mortals and supernaturals, granting some humans miraculous powers. But they did not work for immortals.

This was why—at least until now—only humans or human hybrids could use and control Divine Gear. The mystical pieces of equipment were a true mystery—a mystery that, when used by a worthy human, allowed humans to face even transcendent beings.

The few hard rules that had anchored the system since its creation appeared to be breaking down. Azrael himself claimed to have created an artificial Divine Gear. The unexpected problems that had cropped up recently with the Divine Gear system made what had previously been impossible possible. 

Regina wasn't a Divine Gear geek like Azrael. She lacked the fundamental knowledge required to create one from whole cloth. All she needed to know was that the ritual she'd been assured should work could transfer one to her from its human host.

It was like how humans used their advanced technology—be it a microwave or a phone. They didn't need to know how it worked or even why it worked. All that mattered was that they knew how to heat their food or call their friends.

Soon, though, she would have one of her own. And when she did, she'd be able to do so much more. With it, she'd stand out from the crowd. With it, she'd catch Azrael's eye.

"You would gamble away our mission for something you don't even fully understand?" Jonas shook his head, but he didn't bother arguing with the dark-haired woman. He knew Regina was crazy. 

He'd not risk antagonizing her further.

Regina scowled at him, but then stopped and looked around. "Where is that crazy exorcist, anyways?" 

Jonas took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Her scowl was no longer directed at him, but at the latest addition to their odd group.

"Why was he even sent here?" Duane muttered.

Earlier this morning, the former exorcist had appeared on their doorstep. He had been sent by Abaddon, who led the hawks withing the Fallen Angels. As such, even though they hated him, they had to deal with him.

"The crazy ex-priest is on the prowl… something about punishing filthy humans who dared to make a contract with devils."

Regina snorted. "What a hypocrite."

These so-called human Exorcists would work with Fallen Angels like them, but begrudged their fellow humans who grasped at straws of power by aligning with devils. This ex-priest was a real piece of work. His soul was so filthy and disgusting that even devils would refuse to buy it.

Then again, calling that piece of filth human was a stretch.

"As for why he was sent here…" Regina mused, "Lord Abaddon seems to be plotting something for which he requires representatives of all three factions present in the same zone."

In name, the exorcists of the Church were allied with the Angels. And, as such, the represented that faction. Then, there were the Fallen Angels of her group, representing the order of Azrael. Finally the devils who controlled this zone were related to two of the four strongest devils in existence. 

For all her arrogant bravado, Regina was not stupid. She smelled a big scheme brewing. She knew that she and the others were nothing but pieces on the board. As long as she accomplished her primary objective, she was happy to let Abaddon use her however he saw fit.

She didn't know what the others thought; to be honest, she didn't care. 

Regina did not voice these thoughts, though. She did not fully trust her so-called companions—and she would never be caught talking bad about any of the Fallen Angel's leaders in front of them.

A chill ran through them when they realized they were treading on dangerous ground. Thankfully, the perfect distraction appeared. 

"Speak of the devil and he appears." Jonas laughed at his own pun as two people, an older man and a young woman, entered the church. 

Both had blonde hair, and were clad in the black and white attire of clergy, each with a cross hanging around their neck.

It was Asa and the Exorcist.

Even from a distance, it was easy to see how uncomfortable Asa was walking with the man. Several times, he tried to inch closer, closing the distance between them, only to have her shy away. They even heard some suggestions he made—suggestions that should never come from a man of God.

The poor girl thought that this mission was a way for her to receive a pardon, that her cooperation would void her excommunication from the church.

Regina snickered, and the others looked down in disdain. Few things were more entertaining than the desperate act of a naïve and pure human. Asa's inner light and kindness reminded them of their time as angels and, as such, they had no good feelings for her. 

Watching her disgust at the harassment she continued to endure as she clung to a sliver of hope delighted them in so many ways.

"How long until she actually realizes what is happening?" Duane asked. "Will she run?"

"She can't be that stupid. Deep down, though, I am sure she understands how questionable everything is," Regina replied. 

Duane shook his head, a smirk on his face.

"But that is what makes it all so entertaining. Like an ostrich, she hides her head in the sand, praying that her intuition is wrong. She doesn't realize the danger she is in."

Regina laughed once again. She knew the moment Asa accepted the truth would be a moment to behold. But they had to wait. The preparations for the ritual were still not complete. 

Just a little more, and all the petite, pretty blonde's hopes would meet a tragic end.