Reroll: I Brought Sarcasm To A Sword Fight

White.

Blinding, endless, eternal white.

No texture. No gravity. No up or down.

Just me.

Floating. Again.

But this time… it didn't feel like the void.

No crushing silence. No hunger for sound.

Just...

"You really are loud."

The voice came from everywhere.

And nowhere.

It wasn't male or female.

It wasn't even… sound, really.

It was a presence. A vibration. A knowing.

I turned or at least, tried to but there was nothing to turn toward.

Just white.

"Hello?! Who's there?!"

Please don't say it's Lorath again. I might actually cry.

"I am not Lorath."

Oh crap, did they just read my...

"Yes."

Okay. Totally fine. Not terrifying at all.

The whiteness rippled like a curtain in the wind. Something beyond vast stirred behind it.

It wasn't humanoid.

It wasn't even a shape.

It was everything. And nothing.

A silhouette made of galaxies, stitched from collapsing stars and nebulae, breathing with the rhythm of creation itself.

The cosmos bent into focus.

Then it spoke again calmly, with authority that defied concept:

"You are Hal Miller."

I blinked. I wanted to respond, but something about the presence made me hesitate.

But if this thing says I'm Hal Miller, then yeah guess I am Hal freaking Miller.

"Alright," I muttered. "Roll call complete. Now who are you?"

The stars shifted. The white rippled with amusement.

"I am The Absolute Beyond and Above All."

Oh.

So not just cosmic. Ultra cosmic. Above everything.

That explains the omniscience.

"I brought you here to correct a mistake."

The voice dropped lower.

"You were not meant to spend a millennium in the void."

"You should have faded. Drifted. Forgotten."

"But you clung to self."

A pause.

"For that… I offer no excuse."

"…Wait. Was that… an apology?"

"Yes."

"That's… oddly formal. Should I be bowing or something?"

The whiteness shimmered with what felt like dry amusement.

"Lorath mishandled your passage. You became lost in the in-between. That should not have happened."

"I mean, not to criticize your cosmic staff, but yeah. Kind of a big oops."

"And yet… you endured, when countless others would have dissolved into silence."

"Yeah, I mean… I did go a little crazy. Laughed maniacally. Threatened to punch a divine being, even."

Sure, I said it like a joke. But deep down? I was praying for some god-tier compensation.

"You were not brought here by error, Hal Miller."

The white swelled again—warmer this time.

Wait. Was that... approval?

"Good," the voice added, almost softly. "I'm glad you understand."

Then, a change.

"I realize this method of interaction may be uncomfortable."

A pulse of light brighter than before.

I shielded my eyes, gritting my teeth.

"You may open them now."

The voice was different. Human. Richer.

I opened my eyes.

And I wasn't in the void anymore.

I was standing in a field.

A soft wind caressed my face. A river babbled nearby. Flowers danced with fragrance. Birds sang.

"HOLY—" I slapped a hand over my mouth.

"Nice scenery," I mumbled awkwardly.

The voice laughed a warm, nostalgic kind of laugh.

And there he stood.

A man. Tall. Dressed in flowing white robes.

His long, snow-white hair shimmered like moonlight. His presence felt ancient, but also kind.

Anime grandpa tier unlocked.

"Based on the memories from your former world," he said, "I chose this form to ease your perception."

"Well… I appreciate not going blind again."

"This, however, is not my true form. What you saw before wasn't either."

I tilted my head.

"My real self exists outside dimensional structure. If you encountered it directly… your soul would disintegrate."

He said it so casually.

I just nodded like I understood. I didn't.

"Now then," he continued. "You've earned recompense. Ask, and I will grant it so long as your wish does not destabilize the world you will enter."

YES.

Time to think big.

But before I could speak

"I've already adjusted Lorath's protocols," he added. "Souls will not be lost again. You were… instructive. This is not a reward for your humor or kindness. It is payment for damage done."

Oof. Brutal.

"Thanks," I muttered. "So glad I'm not special."

He laughed again. "Humility suits you poorly."

Alright. Wish time.

"One thought, all enemies wiped out?"

"No."

"Touch anything, turns to gold?"

"No."

"Infinite wish loophole?"

"Don't be absurd."

"Fine, fine. Serious now. Will I lose my memories when I reincarnate?"

"That I can prevent."

"Great. That's… actually huge."

...

"What kind of world am I going to?"

"There are many. You may choose."

"Magic. Definitely magic. I want to sling fireballs and stuff."

"Magic worlds are primitive. You'll be sent to one reflective of your expectations. Medieval, difficult, and unkind."

"As long as I remember who I was… I'll manage."

He gave a thoughtful nod.

"Then I shall also offer access to enhancements inspired by the media of your world."

Wait—what?!

"However… you must work for every ability. Nothing will come freely."

I sighed. "Of course."

"I didn't want luxury. Just a chance. A body that won't betray me. A life worth building."

He smiled faintly.

"Then I shall grant you three blessings."

A light shimmered above his hand, forming three symbols.

[1] **Blessing of Memory** – You will retain all memories from your past life.

[2] **Blessing of Elemental Affinity** – You are compatible with all elemental forces.

[3] **Blessing of Vital Vessel** – Your body will be healthy, resilient, and capable of great feats.

I stared at them, speechless.

"I…"

"There is one more thing. A final gift."

He raised his hand again, and a glowing sigil appeared. It hovered, pulsing.

[SYSTEM LOG: Hidden Protocol — Mnex Activation

Scheduled Upon Rebirth]

But before he could speak, light engulfed me.

I felt myself rising, no, being pulled.

Like being flushed by a cosmic toilet.

"WAIT! What's that last thing?!"

He laughed, and it echoed across the stars.

"You'll find out soon enough."

"TELL LORATH I SAID HI!" I screamed as the world faded.

"And THANK YOUUUUUUU..!"