Rent a girlfriend: Reincarnated as a responsible menace.

"Some students saw you, go at the floor of 'sacrificers', that same night, we saw the blast happen", Warden of the college, said glaring at us.

"So did you do it", in response me and Kibe could only look at him, emotionlessly.

Ok I know how this sounds, but trust me its not as bad as it sounds. It started when...

You know what. You'll only understand if you see it for yourself. 

Two Days Ago

Me and Kibe, were sitting in my room, just sitting doing nothing but drinking some whiskey, having the time of our lives, when suddenly he says, "Kaz, we need to make a name for ourselves"

"What are you blabbering about Kibe, haven't we already done so?"

"No, I meant in college. There's been some clashes with other students. We need to make a name, like 'Uncle John'"

Ah, so that's what got him so riled up, Uncle John was a rumor, that one of the students who failed in the college for 3 years, and break up so much, he did a big rant in front of whole university open day, and then left. His name is Kokochi Maruta, I was intrigued, so I did some research, turns out he's now in lawyer profession. But the thing is, most didn't bother to research. So I myself never told them.

Good for him, "Yeah, but you do know, it's only a rumor, don't you"

"That doesn't matter, it's been 4 years, and he's still been talked about"

He's got a point, "So what should we do"

"Lets go to the College, and make our name" We could go at any time, under the pretense of meeting one of the students, living in hostel.

Oh yeah, our college has a hostel for students, for some monthly payment.

"Ok, Ok, but have you got a plan or something, maybe a blueprint"

"I don't have a plan, but we both are good at improvising, we'll figure something out"

Well, when he put it like that, he does have some merit. Plus I am pretty bored

So we got up at 9 pm, to the college, to make a name for ourselves. Yeah, I know how it sounds. Trust me... It doesn't get better!

We strolled around in college for 30 fucking minutes, then just sat with walls behind our back, thinking of what to do. 

Then Kibe got up to drink some water, so we started to go to the second floor, the 'sacfricers'. I mean it was called 'sacfricers', because there leader, who called himself the 'sunrise', but the students somehow mistook it for sacrifice, and now even he himself call himself as 'sacrifice'.

We were just going to get some water, when Kibe suddenly excaimed, "Kaz, what if we go to the 'sacrificers', and drink all of the water from there water cooler."

"Kibe... That's a brilliant plan", Turns out, we make stupid mistakes, when you are intoxicated.

Who would've thought?

We hugged ourselves, and then rushed to the water cooler, ready to make 'a name', when suddenly.

"It doesn't have any water" came a drunk, and sleepy voice. Then a guy came from the bottom of the cooler.

It was 'sacrifice'.

"What are you two doing here?"

"Are you sure, we are?", We had a stare off for 15 seconds. Then he went back to his room.

Now we were stumped, we even made sure to check if the guy was right or not.

He was. Then...

"What if we take this cooler, and put this in front of the principal's room. Then we'll make such a big name for ourselves"

So we just did that. We took the plug off, then lifted it. Barely

And started to climb down the stairs. We got tired in Ten seconds.

"Ok now what?" I asked

Then we both looked down the railing, then at each other, and simultaneously had the same thought, "What if we, put it directly to the first floor. Then we'll have bigger names, then the 'Uncle John' himself"

So we lifted it one last time, and have it take a leap of faith. But its plug got stuck in the railing.

Now its hanging like a swing. 

"WTF is this bullshit man, we couldn't even drop it from the floor", Kibe said frustrated

Then I suggested, "Go bring a knife from the Mess", he nodded,

Two minutes later, he bought a... 30 inch piece of blade.

"Fuck this shit. Lets go to the head chef. The fuck is he cutting with this knife, a whale. Heck, how can he even call this a knife, I've seen swords shorter than this" 

"Kazuya... this was the shortest one"

...What the actual fuck in fuckeries?

After getting over my stupor, we cut the wire. Then gravity did it's job. There was just a slight problem to our mastermind plan. We both hadn't studied chemistry. So we didn't expect that it woul-

BOOOOOOM!!!

The sound was so intense, that every student came rushing. Even the warden, who lived in the next building appeared wearing all white.

Seriously that guy always wore white, I mean he could come at any moment, with only wearing white. If I didn't know better, I would've thought he was Uncle John. But maybe it was only because of him that the rumors began in t-

"FATMAN, FATMAN" a random guy screamed

Yeah we have better things to worry about

"I am too young to die!!" another one screamed

"Save us, our holy lord and saviour", wait... did this guy just changed his religion just now.

Then to avoid suspicion, we went to first floor secretly, by climbing down the window, but before that, Kibe took the plug... and put it onto the socket again...

"What did you do just now?"

"Removing evidence, stupid Kazu" ...you have a fucking 30 inch knife in your hand.

But this wasn't the time. We quickly climbed down by the window, and reached to the first floor, after putting the knife quietly. Huh, they do have bigger knives. And is that a packet of chicken... Thank God, they don't actually feed us a whale.

After thanking every god I knew the name off, we quickly went to the site, we were just going, when Kibe suddenly went, "Hawww"

...What? Why?

Warden was just reaching towards the broken mess of a cooler, when suddenly... a guy from 1st year came, clearly high... and petting the cooler said, "Don't fret brother, everything would be fine", then went away.

We all looked at each other, then Warden instructed a guard, "Look over that boy, and check his room"

Just as warden was going to ask about the mess, suddenly 'Sacrifice' came, now fully awakened, and said, "My lord"

Do let you know, that he's literally studying for business studies.

"My lord, look at this", he said pointing at cut up wire, which was somehow still intact.

"Yeah, what about it", Warden questioned

"My lord, I suggest that a guy in the college required the plug. So he took the plug. Then threw away the rest"

Complete Silence

"I rest my case, my lord"

"Yeah, the rest in a water cooler, is a water cooler only you fool", then we went to the 2nd floor.

There was nothing except one notable thing. The plug

"Oi 'Sacrifice' should we reopen your case", one guy said from the mass.

Then after that, warden told us to leave, and that we'll be notified of it, when they find out who did it.

Then two days later, some dick told the warden, that he saw the two of us, going towards the 'Sacrificers'

So now you know how all this happened right. Now to the current scene.

"No sir, we didn't do it", I said with full confidence, looking in his eye. Technically it was gravity who did it. Not us.

"Are you certain"

"Yes sir", this time Kibe responded

"Hmm, why did you throw the water cooler"

"What, can you actually hear what you just said. Didn't we talked this of just now" Kibe said

"We have our suspicions on you"

"Shut the suspicions up, can you hear what you hear" Kibe said once again.

"Sir, we told you, we didn't do it."

"I don't know about that. As the prime suspect, either get suspended, or pay the fine"

We looked at each other, and decided. A few bucks were something we could still fend off. But if we got suspended, then even 'Uncle John', wouldn't be able to save us from our families.

"So, fine?"

"Fine"

"Ok, Fine"

"Ok, wait a second", He went to bring the printout of the fine.

We thought that we would only need to throw 10-20 thousand yen on his face, and leave like that, bu-

"300 thousand yen" We both were cooked.

"What is this, we just broke one cooler, and we didn't even agree we did it, its you who's instigating on us", I said shocked to the core, to which he just showed the market price online

Holy Fuck. How dare you tear its name tag, you moron. You give me 50,000 a month, I'll stay there as a statue myself.

"Sir. How will we manage this much, we don't have any" Kibe asked

"I'll call your parents"

"They don't have it either, genius. What do you think, we are poor while they have oil factories?" I asked rhetorically, to which he replied with an idk, and give us a due of two days, or we'll be suspended.

After leaving and returning to apartment, we called Kuri over and told him of the situation. He said that he could only give 50 thousand as he had it saved for emergencies.

We declined of course. He didn't pull this shit, we did. I was gonna give 200k, while Kibe would give 100k, and would give me 50k, some later date.

Just as we were agreeing on this, we got a call from to the college to come over. All three of us went, and after Warden enquired about Kuri, to which he replied, he was only here to see his friends off.

Warden said surprisingly, "The real victim has been found, you haven't done it you can go freely"

Both me and Kibe were stumped, we looked at each other, and then Kibe asked, "Is 'Uncle John', real?"

"No!, we'll give a suspension letter to the student who did it", listening to it, all three of us went back, relieved out of our wits.

The next day, came a suspension letter- 'Sacrifice'

The whole campus was shocked to the core. The suspense had become bigger than 'Uncle John' himself.

"I was there at a college three days back?" He questioned

'Sacrifice' was called upon at the warden's room. He came in in full anger. Left the room like a deflated baloon.

"What happened?", I asked

"I am a dickhead"

"We know, but what happened?", this time Kuri asked

"Bro, three days ago, at evening, I said to guard, 'Fix this crap, or I'll throw it away form the rooftop'"

The whole campus laughed, Kibe said, "We don't know about our name, but yours is engraved till the end of this building"

While this was happening, I was beginning to feel guilty until Kuri said.

"Why are you even sad, it's not like you come to the college. Isn't suspension just a week of free day"

Hearing that, he looked up and suddenly smiled and said, "You are right Kuri, alright!!!"

Seeing this happen in front of me, I couldn't help but facepalm.

'I guess, I should save my guilt for other, more important things'

I was just thinking that, when Kibe tugged at me, I looked at him, he looked at me.

And we both did what was the most appropriate thing to do.

We Laughed like fucking Maniacs

...and decided that this would stay between the three of us.