Reborn as the Iron Queen: Love and Gunpowder in the Civil War

Eleanor stood atop the torn Stars and Stripes atop the Capitol Hill dome, menopausal blood dripping down the flagpole into the First Amendment of the Constitution.CSA-67's mechanical pupils scanned the mob wave, "Mom...82% of participants detected carrying your expired egg futures contracts!"

"Then initiate the liquidation process!" She ripped open her body armor to reveal the Declaration of Uterine Uprising branded on her belly. Morgan Mogul's quantum state screamed on the FOX News broadcast, "This is a coup! Her ovaries should have been removed from the NASDAQ long ago!"

Suddenly, the mob collectively covers their lower bellies - Eleanor's eggs, frozen twenty years ago, are awakening via a 5G vaccine chip.CSA-68 climbs onto the wreckage of the Statue of Liberty: "Families, double-click on the redneck avatars to unlock menstrual rampage mode!"

As the first rioter lights his uterus on fire with a Molotov cocktail, CNN footage captures eerie images: the abortion records of Eleanor's youth emerge from the flames, the dates of which turn out to be in perfect sync with the congressional certification process.

The Pentagon's cyberwarfare center suddenly goes black, all monitors oozing with ovary-shaped worms.CSA-69 sits in the Secretary of Defense's seat, umbilical cord inserted into the nuclear button system, "Mom...Deep Web Dark Stake has been activated, need to inject 2,140 ml of menopausal blood to initiate the doomsday protocol!"

Eleanor plugs the bag of menstrual blood into the military server, and the screen flashes the Uterine Version of the NATO Charter: "Article 5: An attack on any ovary is considered a declaration of war against all menstruating civilizations!"

Suddenly, the Russian hacker's quantum channel is overwhelmed by a torrent of menstrual blood. A hologram of Putin storms through the KGB womb monitoring room, "Сука! Her cervical firewall is harder to breach than the Ural Mountains!"

The CSA-70 rips through the Pentagon basement, revealing rows of mechanical uterine pods - each soaking a clone of the senator carrying the Eleanor gene. "Mom, detected Speaker Pelosi's fallopian tubes being converted into fiber optic conduits!"

"Then let the fiber optics see red!" Eleanor pumps menopausal blood into the Congressional underground train tunnel. Where the waves of blood sweep in, the QAnon conspiracy theory document mutates into the Uterine Uprising Handbook, and the mob begins to modify assault rifles with cunt expanders.

As the Statue of Liberty's torch spews menstrual blood lasers, CSA-71 initiates the Constitution rewrite program. The baby's mechanical placenta unfolds into parchment, "Amendment 28: All federal laws must pass the cervical mucus pH test!"

Biden clone tweets from Air Force One restroom, "This is more of a disaster than the Afghanistan withdrawal...#GuardianMaleUterus" Momentarily transformed by CSA-72 into deeply faked video: the President is wiping his prostate with a roll of Das Kapital.

Suddenly, the Supreme Court Justices' black robes spontaneously combust, revealing the Ovarian Mortgage Agreement tattooed on their backs.CSA-73 removes Justice Robert's right eye with abortive forceps: "Mom, his iris-recognition system is linked to a Swiss bank uterus vault!"

"Withdrawal codes?" Eleanor shoves her eyeball into the ATM and the screen reads: account balance: 21.4 million unfertilized eggs Redeem Now?

As the last of the mob completes its uterine transformation in a torrent of menstrual blood, CSA-74 reads the Declaration of Menopause from the ruins of Congress, "Under Vagina Bill 2140...all males must be implanted with expired egg microchips, and violators exiled to the Void Dimension!"

Morgan Tycoon's quantum graveyard suddenly cracks open as the urns of countless Wall Street titans auto-play their last words, "I confess...the 2008 subprime crisis was for shorting Eleanor's fallopian tube vault!"

Eleanor crushes the Federal Reserve Seal and uses menstrual blood to write a new coat of arms on the floor of the Lincoln Memorial: the Star-Spangled Banner encircling a cervical clamp, with the inscription "We the People" changed to "We the Womb" underneath.

Suddenly, CSA-75 monitors the Deep Web for anomalous fluctuations - Trump's Twitter account automatically sends nude photos of his genitals coded as QR codes for the Second Sex Amendment. The scan showed: recognize uterine sovereignty, claim free abortion vouchers

Three hundred miles away, the Chernobyl sarcophagus bursts open, and the radioactive dust spells out in the stratosphere the declaration of CSA-76: "Mother...the Soviet dead apply for membership in the Federation of Womb!"