PTSD Military Chaplain of the Academy

“…….”

Camilla Priest tossed and turned in her bed. The stiff blanket crumpled with her movements.

I can’t sleep. Not even a little.

It’s been so long since I returned to the Academy that it shouldn’t be an emotional issue. There were no elements to disturb my sleep, nor was the soft bed uncomfortable in any way.

Insomnia was uncommonly severe today. Even with my eyes closed, my mind was sharp, and I just couldn’t fall asleep.

“Hah….”

She abruptly sat up. Outside, darkness had already enveloped everything. In the dark, she set off toward the kitchen.

After being grabbed by the collar by Head Priest Antoinneri, a bright red mark had appeared on her neck. Perhaps because of that, her neck felt somewhat itchy, which was extremely annoying.

Upon reaching the kitchen, she poured water until it overflowed into a cup and swallowed it down with a sleeping pill prescribed by the doctor. The cool water flowed down her throat along with the sedative, bringing her comfort.

Now, I should be able to sleep.

She lay back down on the bed. And closed her eyes. For a while, silence lingered in the room.

Tick. Tick.

Suddenly, the sound of the clock’s hands felt overwhelmingly loud. Camilla Priest turned her body, trying hard to ignore it.

“Stop….”

Tick. Tick.

It was pointless. The ticking sound grew terrifyingly close. With each tick, it got louder and louder.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

– It hurts…. So much it hurts….

She heard a voice, a human voice, from somewhere. Camilla Priest buried her head in her pillow.

“Stop it….”

– It hurts…. My arm….

Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick.

– My leg…. My leg…!

“I told you to stop—!”

The pillow she threw hit the wall clock squarely. The wall clock, struck hard by the pillow, teetered precariously before falling to the floor.

Crash!!

“Hah…. Hah….”

With the sound of the clock breaking, her mind became clear. She twisted her face in frustration. Her pajamas were soaked and clinging to her body, which felt uncomfortable.

The now quiet room was quite satisfactory. Then suddenly, she realized something.

This was the dormitory of the Academy.

Unknowingly, Camilla Priest had damaged the Academy’s property and bit her lip.

“So, I told you…. to be quiet….”

Her action, as always, was to shift the responsibility to another. It was an action befitting her young age.

For some reason, tears started to fall. Camilla Priest buried her face in the pillow. The pillow became damp, but she didn’t care.

And finally, Camilla Priest could drift off to sleep.

It was at three in the dawn when she awoke.

* * * * *

“Professor Lucio. Did you hear?”

Professor Esther said as she popped a piece of beef into her mouth. I swallowed the bread I had been mumbling over before finally opening my mouth.

“What are you talking about?”

“The priests from the Holy Empire have arrived. Thanks to them, there are already ominous rumors circulating among the students.”

“Ominous rumors, you say?”

Professor Esther nodded her cheeks bulging with food. I waited until she swallowed her morsel.

After gulping down the piece of beef in her mouth, Professor Esther continued.

“The ghost story about Giovanni, the first Head Priest, that was circulating around the Academy. It seems that when priests visited from the Holy Empire back then, Head Priest Giovanni was found covered in blood.”

“Right.”

“Because of that, there are rumors that the Head Priest will be found covered in blood again this time…. Just like before, they’ll be trying to take down the Head Priest again…. Such ghost stories are spreading among the students.”

The idea of being found covered in blood was ridiculous. I placed my fork down and said.

“That’s impossible. Even the grounds for Head Priest Giovanni’s alleged murder are uncertain, and to begin with, it’s just baseless gossip spread by the younger students.”

“Y-You’re right, aren’t you…?”

“Which student is spreading such rumors?”

“Probably Daniel….”

“…….”

“Should I have a word with him?”

“…No, I’ll handle it later. That would be more certain.”

Regrettably, Daniel was doing his best as the head of the Occult Research Club. It was a moment when the identity of the gossip was revealed hollowly.

I promised myself I would say something to Daniel when I met him someday and quietly moved my utensils. The mix of chicken, some unknown sauce, and bread in my mouth was exquisite.

As I concentrated on my food in silence, Professor Esther let out a sigh.

“Hah…. Anyway, I’m worried.”

“What are you worried about?”

“The grade-by-grade duel that will happen before the summer vacation. The first-year students are still lacking a lot….”

Well, I wasn’t sure it would be that bad.

A duel was a significant highlight of the Academy story. Often, the protagonists flaunt their exceptional talents, and the faculty members watching become amazed, applauding at the predictable development.

Should I expect Chloe to perform well? I wasn’t sure; I didn’t know much about magic.

“What do you think, Professor Lucio? It seems theology students will also participate….”

The idea of theology students joining in? I looked up in slight disbelief.

If combat faculty students and magic faculty students were fighting each other, and theology students got caught in the middle….

I figured theology professors, including myself, would become extremely busy.

As if reading my expression, Professor Esther hastily revised her words.

“Ah…! It seems theology students aren’t participating in the duel but will be evaluated in other ways, like the purity of their divine power or the effective use of prayers….”

Is that so? I nodded and scraped the remaining food in my bowl into my mouth.

“I suppose they can manage just fine.”

“They will, right…? Well, since Professor Lucio is there for the theology students!”

“I’m not particularly interested.”

“Ahaha…. By the way, where is Sofia Sub-priest?”

“I sent Sofia Sub-priest on an errand to fetch some items needed for Friday’s classes.”

Having shared lunch expenses and all, I thought she might manage her own meals.

After finishing our meals, we took a brief walk around the Academy courtyard before parting ways.

I headed straight to my office. Sofia Sub-priest should be back by now.

Bang.

“Oh, Head Priest. You’re here?”

Just as I had expected, Sofia Sub-priest was already seated in my office, sipping tea. I took a seat at my work desk and asked her.

“Did you eat?”

“Yes. I grabbed something outside. Oh, would you like a cup of tea as well, Head Priest?”

“In that case, please make me one.”

A moment of silence passed. I fiddled with some items necessary for class that Sofia Sub-priest had brought, while she attended to her own tasks.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you.”

I brought the cup of tea that Sofia Sub-priest handed me to my lips. The bitter aroma of cheap tea filled my mouth.

As I did so, Sofia Sub-priest hesitated for a moment before discreetly pulling out an envelope.

“This came for you, Head Priest.”

“Who is it from?”

“Well…. It says it’s from Colonel Meijhem?”

I took the envelope from her. Seeing the name Colonel Meijhem written on it, it seemed he desired to be addressed as a colonel in some way.

Opening the envelope revealed a rather high-quality sheet of paper. I was about to read it but then noticed Sofia Sub-priest standing before me awkwardly and folded the letter back up.

“Is there something you want to say?”

“No. I’m just curious about the content of the letter.”

“…Isn’t that too honest?”

“But I’m curious… what should I do…?”

“Go finish what you were doing.”

“…Tch.”

Sofia Sub-priest clicked her tongue and returned to the sofa. I waited until she sat down before cautiously unfolding the letter.

– Antoinneri Priest. It feels a bit awkward to write you a letter. Did you return home alright that day? I had a drink after that and got scolded badly by Melissa.

Melissa was Colonel Meijhem’s wife. I slightly raised the corners of my mouth as I continued reading the letter.

– Anyway, this gathering will probably take place on April 16th. If you received this letter on time, it should be this Sunday. The address is attached at the bottom.

I checked the calendar on the desk. Today was April 13th, Thursday. Only three days remained until the gathering.

‘…That’s too close.’

I continued reading the letter.

– You probably thought it was too rushed. However, the other friends insisted that they can’t find time unless it’s that day…. Please understand.

Beneath that were many personal anecdotes—a lot of mention about getting scolded badly by Mrs. Melissa, saying that he wouldn’t be able to drink anymore. But for this gathering, he planned to sneak in a drink.

The address where the gathering would be held was written at the bottom, and when I asked Sofia Sub-priest about it, it turned out to be a fairly well-known tavern in the city.

“That place is good. I went there exactly once…. Why? Do you want to go for a meal?”

Honestly, I wasn’t sure. It had already been three days since I met Colonel Meijhem, and I still couldn’t decide whether to attend.

As I hesitated with an indecisive answer, Sofia Sub-priest chimed in with another remark.

“That restaurant is probably very hard to make a reservation at…. If you want to go, you should reserve at least a few days in advance. They usually take reservations a month in advance when they’re busy.”

“…Is that so.”

“Yes. But why are you asking about it all of a sudden? Are you going on a blind date or something?”

Sofia Sub-priest’s teasing expression made me shake my head and put the letter back in the envelope.

“It’s nothing. Just asking out of curiosity. Don’t mind me.”

“Hmm…. Head Priest, you haven’t forgotten about our outing on Saturday, have you?”

“…I remember.”

“Your answer seemed a bit slow…. It must be my mistake, right?”

“It’s a mistake.”

“Then that’s fine.”

I placed the letter in the desk drawer. I had already made up my mind about whether to attend.

‘Let’s not go.’

After all, I had my own sense of propriety. If someone as pathetic as me, tethered to the past and unable to do anything, showed up, I would surely ruin the atmosphere and end up leaving awkwardly.

However, I was slightly troubled by Sofia Sub-priest’s comment about the hard-to-reserve restaurant. Colonel Meijhem wouldn’t be any different. He must have struggled to make the reservation too.

– Many friends are looking forward to seeing you. Especially the soldiers you healed.

Suddenly, the words Colonel Meijhem had spoken to me three days ago resurfaced in my mind. Remembering those words only made me less inclined to attend.

The comrades from the Phoenix Battalion who once fought alongside me. They wouldn’t know my wounds, wouldn’t understand, and wouldn’t comfort me.

On the contrary, I would probably feel envy at their situation, jealousy, and resentment towards someone. I had no desire to return with nothing but more scars as I did last time.

Thinking of the many disapproving gazes that would be directed at me made my stomach churn.

I opened the window and took out a cigarette pack. The ashtray piled high with butts caught my gaze.

The sight of the burnt butts mixed with cold ashes remarkably resembled me. I forcibly turned my gaze away from the ashtray.

They say they want to see me. I…

“What do they want to see me for…?”

I’m just a nobody.

I watched the cigarette smoke waft into the air and out the window for a long time.

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