NOVEL WEB Cage Fight 3
"Right, where were we?" I started, scratching both mine and Smoothie's chin. "Ah, I remember. Listen, Hou, obviously you can pay me to fight literal monsters – but you will have to pay me. You fuckers are the ones charging protection money from a bunch of dentists and window cleaners; you better be okay with spending some of that money to protect the city. I'd also consider trading some instruction for big-time favors, but whoever I'd teach would be training with my other students, regardless of who they were."
Hou took it in stride. "That's generous of you, thank you. The speed at which your current student is learning has not gone unnoticed. We would certainly be willing to pay you handsomely for the service."
"I'm still considering that for the record." Currently, despite Annie's suggestions, I was leaning towards minimizing all chances of further Social Combat with Hou. "Anyway, that's not why I'm here. First of all, the Tigers are going to try and kill me, and you still haven't told me shit about what to do for that. More importantly, I'm trying to keep the peace in the city, and you've been acting like war's a foregone conclusion—"
The air stilled once more as Falling Leaf Lin interrupted. "The time of peace is over. The Wheel is turning. War is already upon us."
I squinted hard at the deeply creepy woman in all white, examining her intently for the first time. Li Tieguai had something to the same effect. Hou and my predicament had been occupying my attention thus far, but that was twice she'd said something that referenced my earlier interaction with the Immortal in Octavio Square.
She wasn't wearing make-up. Her skin was actually the color of white jade. Nor had she painted her nails; they were the same bleached bone white of the Hakkotsu no Ha.
"Falling Leaf is correct, James. Even if you could establish peace within Black Harbor, something that has never truly been done before, war would still arrive from outside the city. Everywhere we look, we see the signs. There isn't a single organization in the Underworld not preparing for bloodshed."
"Pretty typical for you guys."
He shook his head. I didn't need to roll an Insight to see how serious he was. "Not like this, never like this. I've led this Branch of our Sect through a war before, James, it never felt so…doomed. There is a desperation spreading across the Underworld, a certainty that we are on the precipice of a paradigm shift."
I rolled my eyes, disguising my actual feelings with mock disdain. If I were the Producers, I would also pick a universe on the verge of total catastrophe. That's just good television. "Whatever, man. Let's skip the scare tactics, I'm still not joining up."
"No, listen!" He pounded the coffee table between us. Vanessa Hou jumped at her desk, startled for the first time in this meeting; it seemed too real to rehearse. She'd only frowned slightly at my mention of murdering her father in front of her earlier. "Millennia ago, there were once thousands of youxia and traveling heroes all over the world. A city the size of Black Harbor would have had a dozen or more, and yet, in all my life, I can't remember there being more than three at any one time. Don't you wonder why, boy, why all of your peers for centuries have met early deaths? Don't you wonder where all the heroes went? For over a thousand years, James, the men and women defending humanity have dwindled into dust, a sure sign that we have been losing. And now, the consequences of that loss are here! That is why I fight so hard for this Sect! Master Li, the Dragons are Demon worshipers, and the Tigers are crass materialists. Only we are led by a virtuous Immortal! Our Founder has human children, human lovers, and human friends, but the power to match Demon Kings and malevolent Gods."
I gave him a thumbs up. "Great news, Unc, you can go ahead and retire then. I'm hero enough for Black Harbor. And don't worry, I'm way better than all those dead youxia. Now quit jerking me around and give up the Tigers already, any longer, and I'm going to think you're working for them."
Hou sighed. "I've never met a more confusing man. Just when I think I understand you…" He shook his head and gestured to his daughter. "Very well. I've prepared a small dossier with information on the Tigers' operations and their members. We can negotiate for more, but it will be enough for you to move against them. But then what, James? One man cannot solve this. If you take out the Black Harbor Tigers without filling in the vacuum, then others will only move in to fill the space, and the Tigers' global operations will move to take vengeance. But if we work together, then the Cranes will minimize the chaos of the vacuum, and we will be able to protect you from further reprisals."
I stroked through Smoothie's ginger fur, feeling his ribs and shaking free some dirt. He was half asleep now, directing the majority of his murderous fury at everyone else in the room, reserving only the slightest for me. Gaining all those Attribute Dice must have felt incredible for the malnourished stray.
Hou was making sense, but then, he wouldn't have invited me here if he didn't think he'd be able to talk me into his way of thinking. And to be honest with myself, not only did I not have a good plan to deal with the Tigers or the broader gang war problem – I, in fact, had no plan at all. Joining or just associating more closely with the Cranes was the obvious solution. It would give me security, resources, and access to allies with much more knowledge of the Underworld, people who could shoulder some of the responsibility for me before I crumbled under its weight. If I was watching one of my friends in this situation, separated from the Party as they were, I would be screaming at the screen for them to accept the help, pleading with them to be reasonable.
And yet…I couldn't do it. My James half wouldn't tolerate it; it was anathema to him. My Alan half pointed out that once we had the Party together we could make our own way in the world, free of any influence from the Cranes. But ultimately, if it was too upsetting to my other half, he didn't feel strongly enough to counter it. Besides, we had options now that Hou had given me all this juicy information to bite into. They were all more dangerous than accepting the offer, but hopefully, that meant they would be more entertaining anyway.
This one's for you, dear viewers.
I grinned. "Nah, I'd rather die a youxia than live like a Triad. However, because you gave me this perfect little angel," I said, scratching Smoothie behind the ear, "I'm going to be nice. You can hire me for hunting monsters, we can talk about me taking students, and I'm not even going to take me joining your dumbass Sect off the table. But, you, Hou, are an elderly mortal gangster and I am a demi-god with a feather from Li Tieguai's head in my pocket. I'm not even going to think about joining up until I meet your 'virtuous' Founder."
I had twenty-one Relationship Tokens with his or her name on it. Like I said, I had more dangerous options now.
"Frankly," I continued, "it's outrageous that you thought that you, a frail little man, could deliver this sales pitch to me, a walking volcano, as I'm sure the extremely off-putting inhuman monstrosity over there will attest to." I looked at Falling Leaf Lin. "Isn't that right?"
Her face took on the approximate shape of a grin. I hated it. "You are well within your rights to kill the mortal. It is not their place to bargain so lightly with our kind." She squeezed the thigh of her student, Eleanor Xin. "See girl, this one knows and has not been taught. I will tolerate no more excuses of ignorance from you. Next time, I will take your tongue."
Yikes. "And I will tolerate no more pitches from the Cranes unless they come from the Founder, as I deserve. Also, I thought about it, and I'd be happy to teach Eleanor, any time, really." I owed it to her now.
I'd expected Hou to regain some of that urge to kill me from earlier, but he only beamed and clapped his hands. Why did I suddenly feel like I'd lost this interaction. "Fantastic! I think that's more than reasonable. You know, if it was your mother in that seat—ah, smoothies to celebrate young Smoothie, excellent!"
The door opened, Fat Frog making room as two men and a drink cart entered the room. Smoothie, startled by the noise, opened his eyes and watched the lead server with apprehension. He was young still, unsure of the world, confused by his senses.
I watched the kitten watch the man, silently cursing myself for not demanding an old tom cat, wise in the ways of Black Harbor's streets. Smoothie was frightened, that I could tell, but he was a kitten that had been scooped up and brought into an unfamiliar environment. He was frightened of everything. Still, Smoothie was my son, my best friend, my world. We had only known each other for about five to ten minutes, but a father knows his boy, and his reaction felt wrong to me.
Falling Leaf Lin wasn't responding to the men at all, though, and neither were any of the Cranes. Blink was merely eyeing the drinks as if debating whether she was going to insist on sniping one for herself. I didn't want to make a scene if there was no scene to be made.
But I couldn't let it go uninvestigated, not with my sweet baby boy in the room. Dear God, he was only four to six months old – what kind of father would I be if I didn't at least make an effort?
I stood up and plopped Smoothie down in Eleanor Xin's lap. If a fight was about to start, the last person I wanted involved was the amateur who thought she could hang with the masters. Eleanor's eyes lit up, unbothered by his immediate attempt to claw her legs, and gave me a searching look. I ignored her entirely in favor of her instructor, and communicated to her with a stern expression and a Charisma + Leadership roll. 'Look after them', it said. 'I've got this.' Falling Leaf quirked her head, but gave me a microscopic nod in return.
"Siiiiiick," I said, walking over to the cart. Fat Frog Hsieh had closed the door behind them, but they'd yet to move more than a few feet into the room. "You don't know how much I've been craving exactly twenty-four smoothies, twelve with vodka, twelve without. Did you remember the ice water for everyone else? It's about to get a little sweaty in here."
The lead server smiled and bowed a little. "Yes, sir." He turned and lifted the white cloth atop the cart, revealing a lower shelf with pitchers of water and a handle of vodka. "I brought more alcohol as well, in case you wanted to touch up the smoothies. Do you wish to know which of the drinks have vodka, sir? It was unclear if it was supposed to be a surprise."
"Ooh, that's fun. Hang on, let me think." I stood in front of him and the cart and scratched my chin as I contemplated.
The man seemed like a normal thirty-something. He was Chinese like most of the staff, likely so that he could take orders from the guests, and untrained in the martial arts – an average, regular guy. There was no desire to kill in him that I could sense, either. But there was a new feeling, not from the man, but from the space he was occupying.
It was strange, not even inherently disturbing. I didn't know what to make of it. Funikugami's gifted murder sense was new to me, and out of spite for the Carrion God, I'd largely neglected to study how it worked. It was as though there was an echo in the room.
I didn't close my eyes, I didn't dare take them off the server, but I did shift my attention, rolling an Affinity + Empathy to try and discern more. The four Successes revealed two things: firstly, someone really wanted to kill Vanessa and Albert Hou, specifically in that order, and secondly, that someone was outside of my range – which did not make any sense.
I flicked a glance back at Smoothie; he was cowering but still unwilling to look away from the server. Well, if my son didn't trust the man, there was nothing left for it.
My hand snapped out, taking the server by the throat. There was a momentary pause during which both the man and the room were caught off guard. I took advantage of the long second to circulate my Qi through his body, ready to close the Eagle's Talon around and through his throat if I found anything alarming.
In retrospect, I shouldn't have bet everything on Medicine, a Skill I only had 2 Dice in. Luckily, it didn't really matter anyway. Well, it was not luckily; there was nothing lucky about what happened next.
He, again, seemed normal to my Qi scan, with normal undeveloped Qi circuits, normal musculature, etc., leaving me standing there confused and a little embarrassed. Hsieh moved to tear me off the man, but Smoothie saved us both. I kept scanning the man, continuing to bet on my four- to six-month-old son's feline intuition, and so I was able to act quickly when I felt the man's muscles begin to unfurl off of his bones as though they were a thousand independent serpents.
A lot of things happened at once, starting with me closing my grip into the Eagle's Talon, severing the neck of the creature. The geyser of blood, the sickening, wet sound of bones snapping and flesh squelching, and just the general ultraviolence of the moment stunned even the room of hardened Underworld residents for half a breath. It was that half breath that saved Hsieh; instead of moving to defend the server as he had been, he took another look at the scene. He hadn't been expecting to see me mercilessly and randomly execute an hourly worker.
Fat Frog, Blink, who had been sitting by the smoking vent nearby, and I dodged as the things that had once been muscles lashed out like snapping steel wires, exploding out of the server's body. The other waiter on the far side of the cart, unfortunately, was helpless as what I could only describe as a tentacle monster tore him, its meat vessel, the cart, and everything else around it into ribbons.
The creature that had been inside the server, perfectly mimicking his muscles, was now just a writhing mass of black and green cords, some as thick as fingers and others as fine as hairs. That 'echo' I had felt of distant murderous desires cut out, replaced only by an ancient, toxic need to kill everything and anything. Its controller, I assumed, must not have been able to tell while peering through the server's eyes that I hadn't actually found anything incriminating and had cut his or her losses, setting the thing to go berserk.
A dome of whipping wind appeared around the four of us, so fierce that it tore through the concrete and created a semi-opaque barrier. I didn't need to turn and look to know that it was Falling Leaf Lin keeping her promise to me and protecting both her ward and Smoothie. I was grateful, but it did mean I was now trapped inside a very small bubble with a woman I didn't know, a tentacle monster, and Fat Frog Hsieh, who took up entirely too much space.
The concrete dust in the dome of wind was rapidly leaving us in darkness. I let out my Shining Resolve, summoning the golden aura for the second time today, purely to give my allies more light. It turned out to be largely unnecessary; Blink had shifted her eyes into the distinct yellow of the Li-family secret Eagle Eyes Technique, and Fat Frog had closed his to protect them.
The monster whipped its thousand limbs out at us three in a wild fury; it had three living targets and enough hatred and limbs for us all. I utilized the Happy Idiot to dance through the storm, pulling out my Titanium Nunchaku to parry the tentacles I couldn't dodge. It must have looked absurd from an outside perspective. I wiggled, stumbled, and oscillated around the attacks, my Nunchaku held in limp wrists, slapping away tentacles without any apparent skill.
The others were much more visibly impressive, proving why they had earned the right to be in this room and at this meeting. Blink was a blur, her Eagle's Talons cloudlike in front of her, cutting through the limbs before they could make contact. She used a more slide-y, liquid form of the family art than I'd seen before, occasionally vanishing to appear a foot away from where she'd been. Fat Frog, on the other hand, said fuck it, and charged into the center of the mass, his muscles bulging, tense enough that many of the tentacles were bouncing off harmlessly.
Hsieh began blindly grabbing handfuls of tentacles and ripping them apart. It was an incredible performance, psychotically beautiful, really, but as the monster was forced to turn its attention exclusively on the big man, I began to doubt how long he could keep it up. Every tentacle seemed able to sprout more as far as I could tell – either that or they were coming out of some extra-dimensional space in the center. Unless we did something big, Fat Frog Hsieh was about to fight his last fight.
"DO YOU HAVE A PLAN?!" I yelled over the wind at Blink.
"FUCKING WHAT, CUNT?!" she yelled back in her enchanting accent.
Fair enough, I thought. "IF I ATTACK EVERY TENTACLE SIMULTANEOUSLY, COULD YOU FIGURE SOMETHING OUT?!"
"PROBABLY!"
My plan, as far as it existed, was forced to rely on some assumptions about my Feat and Item interactions. The Titanium Nunchaku allowed me to attack each target in melee range once, and luckily, in this instance each tentacle did appear to count. That seemed to be this Lesser Evil's gimmick – outside of its mimicry, of course – you had to chew through every one of its apparently endless limbs. I assumed that the system would make me roll only one Attack for all the targets since, in most cases, rolling for each would be terribly broken, especially if I had access to the standard rules for Extra Successes. What I was less sure of, was if the single Attack roll would count as a single Attack for the Happy Idiot, which allowed me to drop the Stance in order to deal double Damage once in a scene.
Time to bet my life on an obscure rules interaction – truly, a roleplayer's dream.
I stepped in right next to Hsieh and the monster, putting myself well in range for every tentacle. They were already beginning to react, but it was my turn.
Dice clattered, a sound I adored as much as I feared. I went into the roll with the intention of dropping the Happy Idiot and transforming every Success into extra Damage, both of which I had to declare prior to making the Attack.
Something in my brain snapped. I was hardy, I was fast, I was capable, but I was not hardy, fast, or capable enough to do what the rules were about to let me do.
The sound of the Nunchaku was unbelievable as they struck each and every one of the thousands of tentacles in the space of less than a second, faster than even my master martial artist eyes could track. Every millisecond, a nunchaku was colliding with multiple tentacles in separate strikes. Because of the way the chain weapon worked, it was colliding with me, too, against my arms, palms, back, and side. Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't have mattered, but these were not normal circumstances. I felt my organs vibrate painfully as I experienced the sound barrier shattering around me a thousand times. My hands, inured to the heat as they were, burned as the Titanium began to glow from the friction. I tore both of my rotator cuffs, pulled every tendon in my arms, cracked every one of my ribs, dislocated my hip, and broke several bones in my feet from exertion alone. The system, kindly, interpreted all of this as two regular Injury Thresholds, and I felt in my soul that I was being let off easy. This was a narrative system at its heart, and while I may have broken it over my knee for the moment, I still had to pay the price.
As the tentacle monster fell apart, Blink appeared at my side, shot a Talon into the center of the mass, and ripped it back, holding a now shattered spinal disk in her palm. The hate dissipated instantly, and the dome of wind followed not long after.
[Encounter Complete]
Defeated ??? 's Flesh Puppet with an exceptional amount of help and at the cost of an innocent life.
Reward: 28XP, Gain one Artifact Token
[Hidden Quest Complete!]
Discovered and survived a broken Feat and Item interaction.
Result: You may suffer twice your Injury Threshold in Damage to repeat the interaction once per scene.
Reward: Upgrade a Special Feat (Sex Edselected)
[Special Feat] Sex Ed (Upgraded x1)
NPCs that you train gain quadruple the benefits from training when you include a sexual element to the lesson. This applies to both what they would learn naturally and any relevant feats that you may have. These lessons stick in their minds, granting a lesser bonus to their self-training for some time after.
I'd chosen the Feat as much for Annie and future students as I did because it felt like the safest option. Most of the Special Feats had aspects to them that complicated my life in some way; this upgraded version of Sex Ed, for example, was very vague with language in its last sentence. Something to worry about later, though, there was still business to attend to.
We examined one another. Blink was otherwise fine, though her arms looked like she had stuck them into a blender. After three Breaths though, while her wounds were still bleeding, she would live. Fat Frog and I were fucked, he more so than I. His body hardening technique was insane, far and away the strongest I'd seen in person, but his skin was thoroughly flayed even if the muscles beneath were shockingly still held together. To put it into perspective, I had come off the better of us, having taken a total of twenty points of -purely self-inflicted Damage, all of which were reflected across every inch of me.
In the glow of victory, Frog and I gave each other a firm nod, before mutually and silently deciding that we would not collapse to the ground, as much as we may have wanted to.
"JingJing," I coughed. "Ow."
"Huh?" said Blink.
"Sorry—argh, fuck, Jesus Christ—" I, agonizingly, took a few breaths until I could push a proper one through my collapsing lung and get a Circular Breathing charge off. "It took me a minute to recognize you."
"Didn't take it personally. You were, what, five last time we met?"
"Something like that."
"Heh." JingJing, my mother's aunt's cousin, I think, chuckled and closed her eyes. When they opened again, they were her usual brown. "Nice work there. Never got the hang of Nunchaku myself. Want to get a drink somewhere aways from these cunts?"
I thought of my two dates, likely panicking in the lounge outside. That had been a very, very loud fight. "Yeah, I hate these people. One minute."
"Take yer time," she said, lighting up a fresh cigarette. "Want a dart?"
"What? Oh, no, I don't smoke."
"You sure? Really oughta start – feels great, look cool."
"Nah, it's the smell for me, never liked it."
She made a jerk-off motion with her hand. "It's better than blood and guts, mate, and whatever space jizz was inside o' that thing."
It was admittedly hard to argue with her. With the adrenaline fading, this was an extremely unpleasant sensory environment to be in. "Alright, fuck it. Give me one."
The rest of the room was a mess, though thankfully, the door looked like it could be repaired with a little work. I was going to steal that door one day. Falling Leaf Lin was standing, two paper fans in hand, and Vincent He was shirtless, two swords in his. Eleanor Xin stood behind her master, clutching a terrified Smoothie to her chest, and the Hou's were behind Vincent.
I willed my cigarette to light in an effortless display of Fire-Qi, taking a small drag. The way I figured, my Social and Special Feats would eliminate the smell, and my physical Attributes would handle any of the unpleasant side-effects. "Don't you people vet your fucking employees?"
Uncle stepped forward and bowed deeply. "I'm at a loss for words, but I am eternally grateful—"
"Shut up." I allowed my oppressive fighting spirit to fill the room; no way was I letting him make a Social roll against me right now. The Happy Idiot was gone, I was glowing gold, and there was no more disguising my intentions or abilities. "That thing was being controlled by someone who wanted your daughter dead and then you, in that order. More Triad shit, old man?"
Hou held up a finger, stopping Vincent He from moving in front of him. "Is that right? In that case, then no. We won the bids for this location from a firm out of Keletsnya. I assume this was their doing – they certainly have access to the magics required to create flesh puppets."
"From where?"
"I'm not surprised you haven't heard of them. Keletsnya is a small country in Eastern Europe with an outsized impact on the Underworld. Their recent gains in power are one of the primary reasons for my belief regarding the impossibility of peace."
Finally! A small Eastern European nation with access to powerful dark magic that I hadn't heard of? That had to be where Mars had ended up. I wanted to pump my fist, but that would have spoiled the image, so I settled for pulling back my fighting spirit.
"I'm leaving your club, Hou. I don't like it. I had a bad time. The food was mid, and the staff was demons. Before I go, you're going to give me my dossier on the Tigers, and then, you're going to put together another one on Keletsnya to send to me via Cory. Congratulations, I've decided to take that attack personally. For the Keletsnyians, at least, you've got me as an ally."
He bowed again. "Of course. It will be done."
[Encounter Complete]
Extracted yourself gracefully from a negotiation with Albert Hou.
Reward: 18XP, Gain one Relationship Token
That wasn't a glowing summation of how I fared, but I counted it as a win for my first time engaging in serious politicking. I'd be kicking myself over my mistakes later when I had the time to reflect, I was sure, but there was no better way to learn. And I'd got Smoothie out of it, so how bad could I have really done?
I pointed at Eleanor Xin. "Cat," I demanded. To her master, however, I bowed. "Thanks for looking out for my boy. I owe you a cup of tea and—" I paused; it pained me to continue, but I didn't have much to offer an Immortal, "and a favor, in kind."
The woman, or whatever she actually was, inclined her head. "I accept your invitation, James Li. We shall meet again."