One Helluva Fox

Inside Sylvester's apartment, we see him laying on his cough, vodka bottles all over him. He lets out a groan as he puts an arm over his closed eyes.

Black horns peek through the top of his red hair. Suddenly Sylvester's phone starts to ring.

Sylvester, without looking, reaches onto the floor through some empty bottles and picks up his phone. On the phone screen it's his sister Malina calling, but he pressed decline.

He then dross the phone onto the floor, revealing many missed calls from Maline, then a text message pops up on the phone.

[CALL ME ASAP ASSHOLE!]

Sylvester lets out a yawn and reaches into the couch and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He puts one into his mouth and snaps his finger, causing a flame to appear on his pointer finger, and he lights up the cigarette.

Sylvester opens his right eye and just stares up the ceiling. "Ugh... I don't want to go to work today..." He breaths out a massive cloud of smoke.

Sylvester groggily picks up his phone and sees many notifications, and he just clicks clear all. He then sits up, several glass bottles falling onto the floor.

He yawns and puts a hand through his hair, feeling the horns. "Damn it, why won't they stay gone." He yawns again, very loudly. "FUUUCK, I'm tired."

Sylvester gets up and heads for the bathroom. He turns on the light and stares at himself in the mirror. He opens up left eye and leans in close to the mirror.

He watches as the clock in his eyes ticks by. "Man, I need to get some time soon, or I won't be able to use much of my powers if I have to."

Sylvester sighs as he closes his left eye and grabs a file off the sink. He starts to shave down his horns.

.

.

.

Inside the office of the I.M.P. Millie, Moxxie and Sylvester are talking to a sinner client. Sylvester leans on the side of the desk with a cigarette in his mouth.

Suddenly the door burst open revealing Blitzo, covered in bush leaves, bruises, and dirt all over his clothes and body. 

Blitzo walks past the four in a dejected manner.

Moxxie calls out to Blitzo. "Sir! There's a client here who wants to-"

Blitzo enters his office, ignoring Moxxie, and slams the door shut loudly. The two hims and Hellfox take a second to stare in confusion at Blitzo's foul mood today, before turning back to the client.

Millie gives a nervous chuckle. "I'm sorry, you were saying?"

The sinner shrugs. "Well, its just that I'm sure one of the other camp counselors killed me, I'm just not sure which one..."

"How could you not know?" Moxxie asks in confusion.

"I was out on the lake when my boat-" The Sinner points down with both hands. "-started to sink. Someone-" He twirls two fingers around. "Had drilled holes in it." He stops the hand motion. "The counselors are the only ones with keys to the boat house, and they're the only ones who knew I couldn't swim. It had to be them."

"Sounds interesting." Sylvester blows out smoke through his nose.

"Hmm, we don't typically do investigations, I'll have to check with the boss." Moxxie says and he walks over to Bltizo's office and opens the door. "Uh, pardon moi sir."

Moxxie sees Blitzo flipping through his contacts on a rotary address card file. 

"Not now, Mox." Blitzo says in a peeved tone without looking up.

"Sir, there's a client that needs us to investigate his death, and we don't usually-"

"No tiiime!"

"But sir, we really need the cashflow, and I was thinking maybe-"

"What part of 'NO. FUCKING. TIIIME.' do you not understand? Just handle it yourself."

"You want me to lead?" Moxxie questions as he points at himself. "On a hit?"

"I swear on all that is evil Mox if you aren't out of my office in negative 3 seconds-" Blitzo slams his hands on his desk.

Moxxie salutes with a smile. "Yooou GOT IT SIR!" He shuts the door. His eyes sparkle as he walks back over to the other three. "We'll take the case!" "And I'll be handling this investigation personally."

Sylvester raises an eye brow in question, as he breathes out more smoke through his nose.

Millie looks on at Moxxie with concern and hesitation at her husband. "Honey, are you sure? What about Blitz?"

Moxxie smiles at Millie. "Honey, honey please. Blitz put me in charge this time."

Sylvester chokes and starts to cough up some smoke. "He did?!?" He says in a raspy voice.

Moxxie looks at Sylvester skeptically.

"Hey, you have to see where I'm coming from, Moxxie." 

Moxxie just turns back to the sinner. "This is going to be the cleanest, most well prepped, most surgical hit we've ever had! Don't worry, sir! We'll find your killer. And give him what's coming to him. And/or her. Or they..."

Several minutes later, Moxxie, Millie and Sylvester are standing in front of a bullet with pictures, papers and red string conecting them together.

Bltizo runs past the three in a hurry and leaves the office.

Sylvester breaths out a large cloud of smoke.

"Mox..." Millie calls out. "Are you sure this isn't a little... much."

"I mean, it can't be that hard to find a killer in a camp full of kids." Sylvester points out.

Moxxie turns to the two. "It's my first lead Mills, Sylvie-"

"Don't call me that."

"It has to be... perfect." Moxxie motions to the board. "Now in front of you, you'll find a comprehensive guide to your cover persona." He slams the board. "Memorize it. We've got a lot of work to do."

.

.

.

In Camo Ivannakummore, where children and pre-teens can be seen laughing and playing in the background. Across the way, three preteen girls chat on a picnic bench.

Moxxie and Mille are in some nearby bushes wearing disguises. Moxxie is dressed as a 'human' girl while Millie is dressed as a 'human' boy.

"Hmmm...." A female voice hims. "This bra is kinda tight." 

Off to the side is a female with a pair of black horns and red hair, with a golden strip.

(I did a bit of editing on it, so I hope its not too bad.)

"Sylvester, just go with it." Moxxie glances at the female. "Also how did you get such realistic breasts?" Moxxie pushes up on them and Sylvester starts to blush.

"Don't touch them!" Sylvester slaps Moxxie's hand away. "I did some... magic... and changed my appearance a bit... and my voice. Though it didn't go exactly the way I wanted... " He then mutters. "Stupid golden hair... stupid horns.

 Moxxie rolls his eyes and then fixes his tube top. "Okay, Millie, Sylvester, one last time for safety." He speaks in a girly voice. "I'm Moxxine, the hottest, most popular girl at my school, and you two are?"

Sylvester chuckles. "I'm Sylvana, the baddest bitch in school, and both your cousin."

Millie speaks in a guy voice. "Your brother, Millerd, I like sports and-" She thrusts her hips. "-fuckin' bitches!"

Moxxie looks out to the camp, and speaks normally. "Hm, you know these kids are a but younger than I was expecting-" He puts a hand on the side of his face. "-maybe lose that last part."

"Check!"

"Alright." Moxxie speaks in a girly voice. "I think we're ready."

Millie notices something up ahead and points at it. "Hey, Mox! Check out that shady-lookin' fella over there."

An individual wearing a cot carries a large sack over his back. He checks his surroundings to see if the coast if clear and then sneakily tiptoes to the bushes.

"I think that's our guy." Millie says.

"Ahem, Millie..." Moxxie starts."I hardly think pointing out the first guy you see is the proper way to conduct a-"

Millie picks up a pair of binoculars and looks right at the guy carrying the sack, obviously clear that the guy was the killer their client wanted dead. He looks behind him to notice that the sack was slipping, so he drops it to reveal stashes of cash, couple of bags full of drugs, and syringe needles. He picks up the sack and then the binoculars show a drill in his hand.

"No, that's definitely him." Millie states. "That bag's full of money, and drugs, and what looks like a drill one would use to poke holes in a boat."

"Yeah, that has to be our guys." Sylvester lights up a cigarette with a lighter.

"But-" Moxxie's voice returns to normal. "But that's all circumstantial at best!" He returns to the girly voice. "We need to methodically eliminate all suspects until we can be sure."

Millie looking annoyed that the suspect was obviously the killer before the scene cuts back through the binoculars to show a boat house. The suspect's pair of eyeballs were visible in the shadows, looking nervously around to see if anyone else spotted him before disappearing behind a door. Unbeknownst to Millie, a single red-eye was seen into the crack.

"Now he's lookin' around and heading into that locked boathouse we heard about." Millie informs. "That would be the perfect place to-"

Millie notices how visibly upset Moxxie is after making her obvious statement.

Millie reconsiders her thoughts and she puts the binoculars away in her backpack. "Fine, Mox. We'll do it your way."

"Oh, come on!" Sylvester says in frustration.

Moxxie cheers up. "With my sleuthing skills and your killer eyes, and Sylvester's sneaking skills-"

"Sneaking skills?" Sylvester questions.

"-We should have this wrapped up in no time. Now." Moxxie speaks in a girly voice. "We just have to find the kids with the most influence." He scans the camp horizon until he spots three pre-teen girls at a table talking to each other.

Moxxie smiles. "Oh... Target. Acquired."

Sylvester groans and just walks off somewhere while smoking a cigarette. Millie walks off to join a volleyball game.

Sylvester sits on a rock and watches the mess of Moxxie trying to talk to the three pre-teen girls. "I can't believe I switched genders for this."

Sylvester lets out a large cloud of smoke. Then a couple pre-teens sit down beside Sylvester.

"Oh my god!" A red head groans. "This place is so booooring!!!!

"Like totally!" A brown haired girl replies.

"Tell me about it." Sylvester grumbles as he takes the cigarette out of his mouth.

The two girls look over at Sylvester.

"Like wow, you look pretty awesome!" The Red head states.

"Where'd you get that cigarette?" The brunette asks.

Sylvester pulls out a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket. "Got them all on my own."

"Wow, it must be so cool to be an older teenage, getting away with so many things!"

"Oh, can we have one?" The redhead asks.

Sylvester tosses the two a cigarette, and holds up a lighter. "Go for it."

"Yes!" The two pre-teens cheer and they light up their cigarettes and take a couple puffs.

"Wow, I really needed this..." The red head sighs in relief. 

"Yeah..." The Brunette agrees.

Sylvester lets out another large cloud of smoke as she sighs.

The two pre-teens looks to the side.

"Wow, who's that?!" The red head points out.

"Wow, he's so hot!" The brunette states.

Sylvester looks over and spots Millie playing volleyball.

In one spectacular movement, Millie leaps up in the air with the sun shining down on Millie. With such joy in her eyes, Millie gives it all and smacks the ball so hard that a boom echoed in the air before it rockets right into one of the camper's face. He was smacked in the face with a volleyball so hard that his skull was heard being crunched and broken, and hi

s tooth was knocked out before he was slammed into the ground. The impact was so strong that dirt and dust spreads to the volleyball field right when Sylvester approaches, Moxxie and the girls he was talking to walk up next to him.

After the dust settles down, the camper who was hit seemed to be on the ground, dead or unconscious with a massive crater underneath him.

All the campers were totally shocked and even the Lifeguard Dude was completely taken back. He removes his sunglasses to see that the camper was on the ground and rushes over to check on him. The camper was unresponsive, and Millie looked nervous that she went too far.

"That was..." Lifegaurd Dude starts, before pausing and resuming with tears flowing from his eyes with pride. "The best spike I've ever seen..."

The campers cheer on for Millie and lifted her up on their shoulders. As the campers take Millie away, the camper whow as hit in the face by Millie is revealed to be alive and reaches out to the Lifeguard Dude for help while he simply ignores him and wipes the tear away as he stands back up.

"Please, I need medical attention." The injured kid asks.

Lifegaurd dude turns down to the kid with a scowl. "First Aid is for WINNERS!"

"Oh my GOD, he is so fucking HOT!" The blonde girl next to Moxxie shouts.

"Oh!" Moxxie starts. "Ya know he's my brother."

"FUCK OFF TROLL!" A redhead next to Moxxie shouts.

As the girls leave him, Moxxie feels depressed that he did not impress them to get on their good side.

"Wow, that was something..." Sylvester snickers.

"Hey, at least I'm trying!" Moxxie glares at Sylvester.

"Yeah, a little to hard."

.

.

.

A while later Millie is running across the camp physical course.  She appears to be having fun as she leaps over a large wall, and after landing down, she starts to tic-tac herself across the course. Once she reaches the end, Millie hops up and grabs the pull-up bar before she starts spinning. 

She was spinning so fast that Millie's wheel spin started to go in flames before Millie rockets herself in the air like a ball. Millie, now a flaming fireball, meteors down and impacts the unconscious camper she hit with a volleyball so hard that she buried him six feet under with a crater of his shape. The campers and counselors applauded Millie for such a spectacular performance. One of the campers had his phone out live streaming the whole thing

Millie emerges head-first with eyes the same as Moxxie when he was excited for his first solo mission, her iris swelled in her pupils with stars gleaming bright shine. She was overjoy with her increasing popularity.

Sylvester is off to the side giving several other teens cigarettes. Ash he grabs a new one himself.

"Wow, are you really his cousin?" A teen asks.

"Yup!" Sylvester smirks. 

"So cool..." The teens say in awe.

Sylvester starts to hear music and he turns around and watches Millie sing.

"The fuck?" Sylvester's cigarette falls out of her mouth, and another teen picks it up and smokes it.

Sylvester follows Millie around as she sings the whole day, and people absolutely becoming obsessed with her.

Until she finally stops singing and heads off to Moxxie, with Sylvester following. Millie carries a bouquet of flowers.

"OOOHH MOXXIE THAT WAS SO FUN!" Millie shouts. "No wonder you sing all the time!"

"Not exactly low profile..." Moxxie complains.

"I know..." Millie looks at the bouquet in her hands. "But it's kinda nice havin' people cheer for me for once ya know? Instead of-" She rips the bouquet apart. "-SCREAMING in PAIN and HORROR."

Sylvester leans up against a wall and pulls out a bottle of vodka out from his breasts. She opens the cap and takes a large swig.

Moxxie walks over to Millie. "Don't forget what we're here to do Millie, cause At least Sylvester's been working."

Sylvester stops mid drink. "Huh?"

"I havn't." Millie rubs her arm. "I'm just waitin until you're ready... Have you been able to eliminate any suspects?"

"No of course not." Moxxie states.

"Well, I know it's not any of the kids I talked to." Sylvester says.

"Not helping, Sylvester!" 

"What ever." Sylvester goes back to drinking.

Moxxie turns back to Millie. "I can't get anything from anyone because they're too busy swooning over you."

Millie smiles. "If you want we can go off the guy right now!" She pulls out some rusty knives, and she begins to walk off. "I think he's alone in the cabin-"

Moxxie grabs Millie and pulls her back. "NO! I have to do this right."

Moxxie puts the knives away. "I tell you what..." She grabs Moxxie's chin. "Why don't you try winning them over with something you're good at like I did? How about your music?" Her eyes shine. "I can eve help you since they already love me."

Moxxie's eyes shine. "Yeah... YEAH! That just might work."

Millie giggles.

Later that night several campers are gathered around, with Sylvester off to the side smoking another cigarette. 

Millie plays a banjo for Moxxie as he sings. Though he starts to make the song so much about him, though Millie does distract them with her epic banjo solo.

After Millie's banjo solo ends, everyone cheers for her, ingonring Moxxie. Moxxie tears up and runs off.

Millie notices and sets her banjo down and goes after Moxxie.

"What a baby..." Sylvester grunts as he turns to the lake beside him. 

Suddenly his phone starts vibrate and he takes it out of his pocket. Malina is calling him, and he goes to answer it. But a group of teens sit down beside her.

"Sylana, do you sing?" A teen asks.

Sylvester declines the call. "Kinda, I don't really like to sing." She lets out a cloud of smoke.

"Ohhh, come on, Sylana! Sing for us!"

"Ugh, fine." Sylvester takes a deep breath.

Tuesday

Sylvester sits at the bottom of a red wood tree tapping away at his phone. Malina calls and he goes to answer it, but suddenly Moxxie falls onto the ground beside him.

Wednesday

Sylvester is sitting in a boat with a fishing rod cast out. He suddenly gets a bite and pulls up a shark.

Thursday

Sylvester laughs as she wrestles with a bear.

Friday

Sylvester takes a big drink from a vodka bottle and grabs a poster off the wall. It's of a concert for Millie that's going on tonight. Sylvester takes a big drink from his bottle and sets the poster down.

Sylvester jumps slightly as Millie stomps into the cabin with a large frown. She stomps over to Sylvester, which makes his slightly worried, until Millie grabs the bottle out of his hands and drinks from it.

"Heheh... Hey Millie, how's it going?" Sylvester asks as he adjusts his shirt.

"Ugh!" Millie slams the bottle onto a table. "Moxxie's... Moxxie's just so focused on this mission that he doesn't want me to have fun! For once I'm really enjoying myself and he doesn't seem to like that."

Sylvester sighs and rubs his face. "Look, I have no say in this. This is something you have to deal with, I can't help you."

Millie sighs and lays down onto a nearby bed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. But... do you think you can help me with this concert tonight?"

"Fiiiine... But I'm only playing the drums."

Millie smiles. "I'm fine with that."

.

.

.

Sylvester and Millie looks out to a crowd from behind a curtain.

"You ready to go on champ?" Lifeguard Dude asks Millie as he walks up to them.

"I guess..." Millie responds in her boy voice.

"Great, now get out there and put camp IVANNAKUMORE on the MAP!"

The crowd outside cheers. 

Millie looks nervous and Sylvester puts a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, you got this."

Millie smiles. "Thanks."

"No problem." Sylvester lights up a cigarette. 

Millie heads out first and the crowd cheers for her. Sylvester goes to head out, but his phone rings and he checks it to see a call from his sister. Sylvester just declines it and heads onto stage, and over to a set of drums

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" Moxxie's girly voice rings out.

"The fuck?" Sylvester questions. 

"Boys and Girls!" Moxxie rises up out from a trap door at the front of the stage. "Are you ready for a SHOOOOOW?!"

The crowd boos.

"GET THE FUCK OFF THE STAGE!" A girl yells.

"KILL YOURSELF NERD!"

"Man, teens are just horrible." Sylvester mutters.

Moxxie continues. "I am very proud to introduce to you-" He glances back at Millie. "Someone with abilities never before seen on this Earth." Millie smiles. "Someone with the raw athletic skill of an Olympian- The voice of an angel-" He motions to Millie and a spotlight shines on her. "-the acrobatic technique of an indentured twelve year old Russain ballerina." Millie waves for him to stop. "And a body that JUST. DOESN'T. QUIT."

Moxxie's words make several of the teens uncomfortable.  Then Moxxie remembers where he is and he clears his throat.

Moxxie continues. "The best, and most supportive person I've ever known. And the love of my life. My Wife-" Both Moxxie's and Millie's eyes widen at the mistake. "Brotheeeer... Millerd!"

The crowd cheers as Moxxie hands Millie the microphone.

"Thank you." Millie smiles.

"Knock'em dead baby." Moxxie smirks.

"Speaking of..." Millie motions to the side where two suspicious individuals sneak off into the forest and towards the boat house.

"You sure?"

Millie nuzzles Moxxie. "Go get'em baby."

"Come on, let's get this show started!" Sylvester shouts as he twirls the drums sticks in his hand.

Millie runs to the front of the stage and Moxxie runs off. She looks back at Sylvester and nods.

"Hell yeah!" Sylvester starts playing the drums.

Millie starts to play an electric guitar.

The concert ends and everyone cheers. Sylvester laughs as he throws his drum sticks to the side and jumps up in joy. His breasts bounce a little as well.

Millie takes a bow and spots Moxxie, with blood on him, stepping onto the stage.

"Looks like you did it." Millie smiles.

"No..." Moxxie grabs Millie's hand. "You did it." The two smile at each other. "I'm so proud of you Millie. And I'm sorry I let you down."

Millie grabs Moxxie and spins him around. "Just don't do it again dummy."

The two Imps start making out, right there... on the stage... in font of everyone. The crowd goes silent as they watch in shock.

"Really guys?" Sylvester just sighs and rubs his temples.

Their clothes start flying and the people in the front, recording for national TV, watch in horror.

.

.

.

The gang is back at the office and Blitzo has a TV turned onto the news. Sylvester is back in his fox form.

"Internet sensation and local celebrity Millerd Realboy caught incesting tonight!" The Reporter informs. "Showcasing a sickening display onlookers deemed: Too disturbing to look away... and we won't."

The news shows a video of the incident, Sylvester is in the background chugging down a bottle of vodka.

Blitzo turns off the TV. "Gonna be honest Moxxie- Not too bad for your first solo mission."

Moxxie gasps in happiness, and his eyes shine. "Reeeeally siiir?"

Bltizo deadpans. "Nooo, not really." Moxxie grows sad. "You're a fucking disgrace." He takes a sip of his coffee.

Sylvester just face plants the desk and a falls asleep.

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12-16-2023

3803 words