No Dark Secrets In This Book

Episode 161

In an instant, Cassice Demillang opened his eyes. He seemed to be enveloped in a spasmodic shock for a moment. As they carefully looked at his face without daring to move a finger, suddenly an indescribable emotion close to disgust was directed at Ryuseong. However, Ryuseong, who should have been the most shocked, was unexpectedly unperturbed. Perhaps it was because the shock was too great. In fact, Ryuseong didn’t know what expression to make the next moment, because the gaze of Cassice Demillang, which seemed to recreate his pre-regression appearance, was filled with fear in an instant.

As if “he” shouldn’t have such feelings…

Ryuseong could no longer bear the broken, empty eyes. He grabbed him as he was trembling and stepping back. He wrapped his arms around his waist and pulled him to lean against him. With a short, breathless sound, his rigid body collapsed into his arms like a rag doll. It was not the languid and alluring appearance that always loosely fell apart. Like a ruin that seemed to crumble at any moment, he…

“…!”

Disliking the sight of him losing vitality, he pressed his lips against the nape of his neck. It was an impulsive act, but he stopped breathing like a deer whose throat was bitten by a hunting dog, then breathed ravenously. When he gave some distance to the waxy breath, only then did he feel how anxious the man trapped in his arms was. In a state of near-panic, it was hard to control even his inhalation and exhalation.

Cassice Demillang was clearly shaken.

‘I have to hide this.’

Ryuseong instinctively judged. As Cassice Demillang’s lover, no, at least as someone who interpreted the character of Cassice Demillang better than anyone else.

He knew well that the young man in front of him shouldn’t show this kind of appearance in front of others.

He wasn’t someone who should reflect such a face.

“He seems dizzy for a moment, so I’ll take him to rest.”

“But…!”

“He’ll be more comfortable by my side.”

He cut off the inevitably continuing words, but nevertheless, Ryuseong bowed deeply to Cassice Demillang’s parents with the utmost respect. But as if there was no need to ask for permission, he immediately turned around, leaped, and disappeared.

Isaac Demillang’s hand vainly cut through the air.

Perhaps someone might curse Ryuseong as a crazy kidnapper bastard who claims to the parents that their child will be more comfortable by his side.

But as everyone who heard the story here knows, Cassice Demillang and his parents weren’t in a relationship to do that. For too long.

Nevertheless, as parents, they couldn’t help but have their hearts ache at the sight of their child disappearing before their eyes. Damyeon couldn’t bring himself to intervene in between, but instead eagerly poked Han Idal’s side. Let’s keep it a secret that the atmosphere became even more awkward when Han Idal, who was glumly looking at the night sky where the two disappeared, gave a lukewarm guarantee like, “Well, even though he looks like that, my son is not a ruffian… Probably not.” Isaac Demillang and his wife were grasping the current situation only through the butler’s report, so they wanted to ultimately gather the butler’s opinion. The butler, accepting the parents’ earnest gaze, heavily nodded. If the young master is in a state he doesn’t want to show to others, it should be seen by Ryuseong, not himself. The butler had long ago unknowingly developed such a belief.

Ryuseong had the same thought.

‘If you collapse, I should be the one to see it. Me, not anyone else…’

Only that thought moved him.

If it weren’t for that, he would have gone crazy first by now.

***

Ryuseong carried Cassice Demillang down the middle of the mountain. And he tore off the door of the barakan located exactly as he remembered. A barakan is a temporary lodging for rangers, and strategists could also receive relief supplies in case of emergency. And in his arms, the strategist named Cassice Demillang was in a critical condition. So I apologize to the rangers whose intact barakan was attacked, but it’s a facility that is not used unless it’s wartime, so please understand. Ryuseong crushed the door handle with one hand and shattered the magically enchanted hinges with the back of his foot, then easily threw the crumpled door handle behind his back, leaned the door against the wall, and entered inside.

As soon as he saw a bed where he could lay someone down, he walked over there with long strides. He was about to lay him down like that, but the more the body surface in contact with Ryuseong decreased, the more the trembling intensified, and finally, he, who had been as pale as a corpse, opened his eyes. And making a sobbing sound, he hugged Ryuseong. At the unexpected movement, he collapsed and fell onto Cassice Demillang.

“…”

Ryuseong had no intention of crushing the already unstable Cassice Demillang with his body, so he was supporting the bed with his arms and keeping a slight distance from him. But Cassice Demillang desperately hugged Ryuseong and tried to touch skin as if thirsting for it. As if he needed that warmth, as if he couldn’t bear it without it right now…

Exposing his weakness.

As if offering it to be devoured.

“…Hold me.”

─he said.

And Ryuseong held him. Cassice Demillang felt an incomprehensible sense of relief as tears fell from the corners of his eyes at the touch of his hands wrapping around his waist and caressing his back.

This is the world I know. This…

But the next moment, Ryuseong laid Cassice Demillang down comfortably, then laid down next to him, put his arm under his head, and patted his chest. Cassice Demillang made an expression like ‘is this guy crazy?’ at the gaze that even felt like an expert’s force trying to determinedly put a disobedient child to sleep, but Ryuseong started singing a lullaby regardless.

“When mom goes to the shady island.”

“Ha…”

“To pick oysters.”

“How about I cut your throat?”

“What sin did the baby left alone commit?”

“What sin did my hearing commit to have to listen to your lousy lullaby…?”

Perhaps because it was too absurd? Cassice Demillang let out a hollow laugh as usual.

But at the same time, Cassice Demillang remembered the moment he had been out of it for a while. And he didn’t miss the fact that the other person must have seen that.

It’s normal to be suspicious of why a perfectly fine lover suddenly looked at you with a disgusted gaze.

“…Do you have nothing to ask?”

Cassice Demillang chose the direct approach, and Ryuseong answered.

“I do.”

“…Spit it out.”

“What’s your favorite lullaby?”

“…”

Once again, Cassice Demillang’s pupils shook.

‘Why isn’t he asking anything?’

He tried to float it several more times but failed. Ryuseong casually hugged him and sang a lullaby.

He tried to push him away, saying it was annoying and bothersome, but Ryuseong clung to him until the end, only patting him wholesomely.

Even when he tried to lead it to a sticky atmosphere, his energy naturally drained away when listening to an all-ages lullaby.

‘Is this on purpose?’

If so, he wanted to call him a master.

‘…But I can’t hide it anymore.’

Cassice Demillang tightly closed his eyes. There’s a limit to being crazy in love.

‘You, how much are you trying to overlook?’

Ryuseong has overlooked Cassice Demillang’s suspicious aspects several times. That is certain.

Just looking at his emotional expression, it ended with today’s event. The Cassice Demillang that Ryuseong ‘knows’ is not someone who would do this. Rather than revealing such raw, fragile emotions in this way, he is someone who would rather die. The pitiful one who had to sharpen his blade, grow thorns, and wear armor in that way to avoid dying was the pre-regression Cassice Demillang.

Of course, even that sometimes crumbled in front of Ryuseong. Only in front of his absolute rival who undermined his worth as the young clan leader did he reveal raw disgust and a shaken appearance. After that, he would charge at him as if to kill him, chase after him, and pour out conspiracies… Nevertheless, until entering the final chapter, no one thought he would destroy the world. A meticulous and secretive schemer who can freely play with his own emotions if he wants, that is Cassice Demillang. Therefore, if the pre-regression Cassice Demillang had revealed his emotions, it should have stopped at disgust. He shouldn’t have felt the fear of ‘as if these emotions aren’t mine’. Then, who was the one who came to his senses ‘as if he shouldn’t do this’ and became frightened like the pre-regression Cassice Demillang glaring at him?

‘…’

The answer was obvious.

‘Jeong Ian.’

He remembers the name uttered by the black-haired named. That’s not all. Ryuseong thoroughly remembers the appearance of that named. From the moment they met, he couldn’t take his eyes off him for a single moment. Even while stabbing a knife into his own stomach, Ryuseong was preoccupied with memorizing the named’s eyelids. It was natural. Because there was a clear trace of his lover who never gave him an opening. Because there was a captivating wickedness that didn’t hide its similarity despite having a completely different appearance from Cassice Demillang.

His instincts were telling him that the truth he had been seeking was hidden here.