Naruto: Uchiha's Bizarre Adventure

Inside Kadoya's small house, baby Shisui slept soundly, tiny breaths rising and falling as he nestled against a soft pillow.

Outside, on the porch, Kadoya and Natsumi sat side by side, their gazes lifted to the vast, cloudless sky painted in a bright, tranquil blue.

For a long moment, neither spoke, content in the stillness.

Then, in a voice soft with wonder, Natsumi broke the silence.

"To think... in just six years, you've taken the Uchiha from an isolated, stagnant clan, one everyone whispered about behind closed doors, to the strongest clan in Konoha."

Her eyes shifted toward him, studying his relaxed profile.

Kadoya exhaled slowly, taking a measured sip of his matcha green tea, the faint bitterness and sweetness grounding him.

"Well," he said with a small shrug, a wry smile playing at his lips, "it wasn't that hard once I was the one holding the reins."

The Uchiha is indeed a strong clan. What they lack isn't strength, but brainpower.

Which is why Kadoya improves not just the Clan's strength but also their ability to think for themselves.

Many have begun to recognize just how unfairly the Hokage faction treated them, from denying them financial support for working in the Konoha Police Force. Delaying their payment for around one to two months, forcing the Uchiha to use their own Clan fund to pay for the Police Officer active on duty. Refusing to give their Clan a position in the high council. To the multiple targeting attempts on their Sharingan, led by Danzo's men.

Because of this, the Uchiha wanted to quit the Police Force altogether, but their Clan Head told them to continue, which confused them at first until he told them how they should operate.

Then the fact that the Police Force's support was delayed continuously by the Hokage was spread, leading many villagers to respect the Uchiha even more. Uchiha is doing their job to protect their streets even without pay.

How could they not respect such a selfless act?

Now, when patrolling the street, a few elderly people and shop owners would give the Uchiha Officer something to drink or a quick snack, thanking them while encouraging them to continue with their work.

The Uchiha were confused, but they didn't ask further; they simply smiled, thanked them, took the treat, and continued with their work.

"Still," Natsumi said with a fond smile, her gaze soft with nostalgia, "I miss those days when you were just a little kid, running around and crashing headfirst into the walls."

The image of him nearly missing his first day at the Ninja Academy flashed through her mind, and she chuckled quietly.

Kadoya smirked, his tone light. "That was before I learned how to dance."

He turned toward her, the teasing glint in his eyes unmistakable.

"So, sis... who's the unfortunate guy?"

Natsumi: "..."

She exhaled, deciding honesty was the safest path.

"Satoru Uchiha. He's a jonin. We fell in love while you were off fighting in the Second Shinobi War. And don't cause trouble for him."

Her voice carried a cold edge, not out of anger, but to ward off whatever schemes might already be forming in Kadoya's head. She knew her brother well enough that if he suddenly got bored, he would probably go looking for her husband with a shovel and a wooden cross.

Which honestly looks more like he was going to prepare someone's grave.

Kadoya simply nodded, as if accepting it calmly, while casually sliding a .57 caliber anti-tank round into Crescent Rose, the sleek mechanical scythe that gleamed in the afternoon sun as he reloaded it with unsettling ease.

"Kadoya... what is that?" Natsumi asked, her voice uneasy as she eyed the weapon she'd never seen before.

"Just a high-caliber sniper-scythe." His tone was so casual, it almost made it worse.

Natsumi blinked. She understood what a scythe was, of course, a tool for harvesting. But this... this didn't look like anything of the sort.

"Kadoya. Please. Don't do anything to him." Her plea was firm, just in case.

She couldn't blame Satoru for being nervous. When she'd suggested they visit Kadoya now that he had free time, Satoru had smiled, then promptly remembered he had a mission and fled toward the Hokage's office. Natsumi didn't fault him; after all, every Uchiha jonin had "danced" with Kadoya at least once. It was natural to be afraid.

Kadoya let out a small sigh, putting away Crescent Rose.

"Alright, fine."

If Satoru's last name had been Gojo, then he might have actually looked forward to meeting his brother-in-law. But since he is just an Uchiha, there is nothing too important about him besides his eyes.

His gaze drifted lazily toward his system stats.

Name: Kadoya ?̶̮̄̇̕?̴̠͕̘̠͌?̷̬͕̗̑̊͌͑̾̚?̵͉̍͂͑̒͗?̸̗̉̈́̾?̸̝̤͍͆̏̑

Gender: Male

System Point: 7

Ninja Point: 10

Evil Point: 35272

Shop System Point: 102

Sharingan Level 15 (31/20000)

Chakra Level 16 (112/25000)

Taijutsu Level 13 (20/10000)

Throwing Level 14 (6/15000)

Hand Seals Level 12 (8319/9000)

Ninjutsu Level 17 (3190/30000)

Genjutsu Level 12 (10/9000)

Hamon Level 14 (5/15000)

Fūinjutsu Level 13 (21/10000)

Kenjutsu Level 12 (311/9000)

Wind Attribute Level 12 (137/9000)

Fire Attribute Level 13 (690/10000)

Lightning Attribute Level 11 (120/8000)

Water Attribute Level 15 (74/20000)

Earth Attribute Level 8 (120/4000)

Yang Attribute Level 11 (1000/8000)

Yin Attribute Level 11 (1000/8000)

Ice Attribute Level 9 (2600/4500)

Flower Attribute Level 11 (322/8000)

String Attribute Level 8 (1703/4000)

Leaf Attribute Level 12 (22/9000)

Mirror Attribute Level 10 (12/5000)

Shadow Attribute Level 9 (20/4500)

Psychic Attribute Level 8 (340/4000)

His main base stats have now reached Kage, or at least elite Jonin level. Even then, most of those stats didn't exactly reflect his true strength, for example, his Hand Seal, the reason it grew so slowly compared to his other stats was because now he just needed a single seal to cast any ninjutsu he knew.

Thanks to [Chakra Manipulation], he could now even cast Ninjutsu without hand seals, just like his ancestor Indra. The only reason he still bothers using one-handed seal was because it looks cool, and it's a bit more fun than just shouting out his ninjutsu and casting them instantly.

His taijutsu, although not strong enough to kick down Six Path Madara, is still powerful enough to kick down a Susanoo with the help of Hamon. However, he has also been slacking off with his taijutsu and Hamon training, which led to him looking more lean at a height of 175 cm than a bulky 190 cm tall giant.

His Kenjutsu, well, with Anakin style mixed in with his Uchiha taijutsu, he could now confidently say to Madara. "Shall we dance?"

Kadoya was now hoping for the Third Shinobi War to happen, wanting to search for Madara and ask him out to dance with him. Although he is probably old and has some weak bones by now, that won't stop him from making an impression and declaring that Madara is the strongest old man of them all.

For the past years since the Second Shinobi War ended, Kadoya had not done any Gacha Roll, not wanting to suddenly gain new skills that would make his life even more boring.

So during that time, he has been learning many odd skills, like cooking, tea brewing, teaching, chiseling, calligraphy, etc. He doesn't just want to roll; get a skill that makes him a master, taking away the entire process of learning that skill entirely.

As for his name being glitched out, well, having multiple identities caused that. Since, from time to time, he even forgets which identities he was playing, having slipped his memories into an entire memory library.

Fortunately, all of his identities carry the name Kadoya; otherwise, he might actually forget what his actual name is and would have to look it up in his memory library.

The siblings sat quietly side by side, enjoying the soft breeze and the calm of the afternoon.

Then, without warning, Kadoya turned toward her, a playful glint in his eye.

"Do you want to dance?"

Natsumi: "..."

She stared at him for a long moment before sighing and shaking her head with a wry smile.

"Kadoya, has anyone ever told you that you somehow managed to turn what could be a decent pickup line into a trigger word for the Uchiha?"

Kadoya blinked, genuinely puzzled.

"Wait, what?"

"It's true," she said, trying not to move away. "Now, whenever an Uchiha hears the word dance, they tense up, take a few steps back, and activate their Sharingan, instinctively ready to fight."

Kadoya scoffed, waving a hand dismissively.

"Like Minato would ever react like that."

Natsumi didn't bother arguing. 

They chatted a little longer, the comfortable ease of siblings who'd been through much together. Finally, Natsumi stood, lifting baby Shisui gently into her arms.

"Take care of yourself, Kadoya."

"You too, sis."

With that, she turned and walked off, Shisui resting peacefully against her shoulder.

Then Kadoya makes his way toward the ruin training ground in his yard, seeing both Kushina and Erza trying to kill his clones. With their monstrous strength, flattening him isn't a hard thing to do. Their only issue is that they couldn't touch him.

His family's main talent is speed and Body Flicker.

Being able to even touch him is nearly impossible.

Once their training finished, Kadoya simply activated his seal, and the ruined training ground fixed itself.

Looking up at the clear sky, Kadoya watched as a lone white dove glided down gracefully, landing on his outstretched left hand. A small note was tied neatly to its leg.

With practiced ease, he untied the note and unfolded it, his eyes scanning the short message.

"So, Minato's finally coming back, huh?" he murmured, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

Without wasting a second, he formed a single hand seal.

"Summoning Jutsu."

With a soft puff, three small green snakes materialized at his feet, their scales glinting in the sunlight. The snakes bowed their heads low, awaiting his orders.

"Find Minato, Saiguu, and Nawaki. Tell them to meet me at the bar." He paused, then added, "And make sure Minato informs Kushina and Erza too."

The snakes gave a subtle nod before vanishing in small clouds of smoke, slithering off into their task.

"Since I have some time to kill, how about I go see what he's like?" Kadoya murmured to himself, before his body burst apart into a flock of white doves that scattered into the breeze.

Not long after, a lone figure walked through the gates of Konoha. Dressed in an old, worn black kimono, barefoot, with a simple katana hanging at his waist, he carried no visible chakra signature, just another civilian at a glance. Kadoya Hyakkimaru had assumed the perfect disguise.

He had already learned of Satoru Uchiha's current mission, a B-rank escort, guarding a famous actress from the Land of Fire to the Land of Rice Fields.

From afar, hidden beneath the shade of trees, Kadoya observed the man who had married his sister.

"So that's the poor soul who married my sister." His tone was casual.

Satoru's appearance was decent, his features reminiscent of what Shisui's might become in the future, kind eyes, dark hair tied slightly longer than most Uchiha men.

Satisfied, Kadoya nodded faintly. His attention then shifted to the figure crouched low before him, a Root operative wearing a Cat mask.

"Cat, can you repeat our mission?" Kadoya asked softly.

The operative didn't even glance at him, annoyance flickering behind the mask.

"Our mission is to capture Satoru Uchiha. Snatch his Sharingan."

"I see. Alive or dead?"

"Lord Danzo wants him alive, if possible. We can use him to lure out Natsumi Uchiha."

Ah. So this is how Shisui became an orphan in the original timeline. As expected, it was Danzo's fault.

Suddenly, one of the other Root operatives stiffened.

"Wait a minute…" His voice was low, suspicious. "Cat… who are you talking to?"

Cat froze, realization dawning. The rest of the squad was in front, so who had been speaking from behind him all this time?

Panic spread through the group, their bodies tensing to leap away. But Kadoya had already finished his single-hand seal.

"Domain Expansion: Slashed Dream Cries in Red."

The world shattered.

In an instant, the Root shinobi found themselves swallowed by a black abyss. The ground below shimmered like endless obsidian water; far off, a massive black hole devoured all light, casting the realm in eerie twilight.

"Genjutsu?!" one of them hissed, their voices tight with dread as they tried the genjutsu release, again and again, to no effect.

"It's no use…" Kadoya's voice echoed, calm and cold, as he stepped toward them. Murasame scraped gently across the dark water, leaving ripples of crimson light in its wake.

Back in the real world, the Domain collapsed. Kadoya now stood turning back to one of his main forms, Kadoya Uchiha.

The sudden spike in Chakra had not gone unnoticed. Satoru, alerted by the sudden pressure of that jutsu, turned toward the source. His eyes met Kadoya's faint, calm smile, and in that moment, Satoru wisely chose to return to his mission, quickening his pace lest the Clan Head decide to invite him to dance.

Kadoya watched him go.

"Danzo…" he muttered under his breath. He'd considered dealing with the man himself. But upon reflection, he realized, Danzo had not yet begun the full scale of his abominations: no experiments with Hashirama's cells, no grotesque collection of Sharingan.

"At this point, he's just an annoyance. Not worth my full effort."

And with that, Kadoya returned to the Uchiha Compound via a Flying Raijin mark hidden in his home.

Before returning to slacking off, he summoned a single Kuriboh and gave a simple command.

"Go blow up Danzo's house."

The small creature nodded cheerfully before running off into a mirror to do its thing, leaving Kadoya to enjoy his tea in peace.