Naruto: Uchiha's Bizarre Adventure

Sitting on the porch, overlooking a still, moonlit pond.

The water mirrored the gentle glow of the stars scattered across the night sky, their light shimmering like distant memories.

Kadoya sat in silence, trying to savor the rare tranquility that the night offered. The air was cool, the only sounds were the soft rustle of leaves and the quiet ripple of water stirred by a passing breeze.

Once, he had been thrust onto battlefields too young, intoxicated by the rush of combat and the lure of power. Now, he found himself learning to set the blade aside and enjoy life.

The ninja world entered an era of temporary peace.

But this was not the same world as in the original work.

Orochimaru, for one, had taken Saiguu under his wing, not just as an assistant, but as a true apprentice. With his cold precision, he guided her through the mysteries of the human body, laying the foundation for her future in the medical and scientific arts.

Jiraiya, true to his word, departed for Amegakure. There, he began training the trio of orphans, Nagato, Yahiko, and Konan. But this time, he didn't go alone. Bringing Minato with him, Jiraiya decided that if he was going to raise the next generation, he might as well shape two at once.

After all, from the prophecy at Mount Myōboku. Jiraiya has suspected that either Nagato, who has the Sage's eyes, or Minato is the Child of Prophecy, bringing peace to the Ninja World.

As for Tsunade. She hadn't left the village like the original work. Instead, she forced Konoha to finally accept a long-overdue reform: the implementation of a standard team structure with two combat shinobi and one dedicated medical-nin. Her efforts also sparked a surge in the village's investment in medical research and development.

She hadn't expected her demand to work so well. But the moment she had slammed her hand on the table and threatened, "If you won't listen, I'll take this proposal to the Uchiha instead!", the so-called Konoha F4 backed down without another word.

Speaking of the Uchiha…

Thanks to Kadoya's careful planning, the Uchiha had not only mended their strained relationship with the village, they had reshaped it entirely.

The villagers, once quick to scorn, had begun to see the truth: the Uchiha's harshness wasn't cruelty, it was protection. By enforcing the law with an iron hand, they kept Konoha in check.

These days, if anyone dared cause trouble, the Konoha Police would apprehend them, lock them up, and give them a proper lesson, a good beating before releasing them back to think about their choices.

And if any villager dared complain?

Fugaku, now captain of the Police Force, would simply follow Kadoya's directive: publicly announce the withdrawal of patrols from those areas.

If you don't want us, defend yourselves.

It was a ruthless but effective policy.

Shimura, Mitokado, Utatane, and Sarutobi, these four old clans who once schemed against the Uchiha, quickly learned their mistake. Their districts and clan lands became the first to experience the absence of Uchiha patrols.

Crime spiked overnight.

Thieves, thugs, and lowlifes flooded in, emboldened by the lack of order. And even when an Uchiha officer witnessed a petty crime in these areas, they would simply look the other way, as if they'd seen nothing.

But elsewhere, in the streets still under Uchiha protection, it was a different story entirely.

If someone tried to stir up trouble, Uchiha officers would give chase. Their shuriken and kunai flew fast and close, close enough to nick the skin, close enough to let the troublemaker feel death brushing past them, without ever quite landing the killing blow.

They didn't catch their prey too quickly. No, they herded them, guided them where they wanted them to run. Always close by and watching. Their calm, cold smiles sent chills down spines. It was like predators playing with their food.

Some fools tried to escalate, thinking maybe more chaos would force the Uchiha to back off. That only earned them a kunai near the throat or a shuriken that almost pinned them to a wall. The message was clear: the more you resist, the more painful this will be.

And if you happened to stumble headfirst into a kunai or nearly impale yourself on one flying past a market stall.

Well, that was your own fault, wasn't it?

Even the villagers began to enjoy watching the chase. The cat-and-mouse games became a form of public entertainment and a stark reminder not to cause trouble.

And if someone was foolish enough to complain about the Uchiha's methods, the Uchiha would announce their withdrawal in that area. Well, soon enough, their neighbors would greet the protesters with tight smiles, cracked knuckles, and maybe a bat or two.

No one wanted their street to become the next lawless zone.

Root and ANBU wouldn't intervene, not unless the situation spiraled into something truly disastrous. That left the villagers to fend for themselves… or hire shinobi to handle the mess. But good help wasn't cheap. Hiring a chunin or jonin to recover stolen goods or catch a thief cost more than most could afford.

And who's to say it wouldn't happen again?

So now, when villagers saw Uchiha patrols walking their streets, they smiled. And they meant it, thanking them for their hard work.

The Uchiha didn't stop at law enforcement. Under Kadoya's vision, the clan began to flourish in other fields as well.

Uchiha Care was one of their proudest achievements, a program dedicated to supporting Uchiha orphans, the elderly, and disabled clan members. Those once forgotten or cast aside now lived out their days in modest comfort, funded by the clan's growing wealth.

But Uchiha Care didn't stop with full-blooded members. It extended its hand to those with Uchiha lineage, children or grandchildren of Uchiha who had married out. Even at 50% or 25% bloodline, they still carried the potential to awaken the Sharingan, or to pass it on, should they marry back into the clan.

This initiative sparked a quiet revolution in Konoha's social circles. Many villagers began seeking Uchiha spouses, hoping to secure a stronger future for their children. Even those Uchiha who'd once been expelled for marrying outsiders found a path home, on one condition: they reclaimed the Uchiha name. 

Then came the Uchiha Academy.

At first, the clan resisted. The idea of teaching outsiders or those without talent felt beneath them, their pride too deeply ingrained. That is, until Kadoya asked them to dance. After that humbling lesson, they agreed. Teaching didn't seem so bad after all.

But Kadoya's decision wasn't driven by boredom or some idle whim to play teacher. The Uchiha Academy had a purpose: to cultivate talent.

It wasn't just about turning students into shinobi. The academy focused on comprehensive growth: moral, intellectual, physical, aesthetic, and practical education. Even those without shinobi talent could discover and develop their strengths.

And the teachers? They, too, learned from the curriculum, designed to sharpen minds, resist brainwashing by the so-called Will of Fire, and foster critical thinking. No more Uchiha driven mad enough to massacre their own clan.

The academy even instilled lessons on pride: it was fine to hold their heads high, but not to rub it in others' faces.

Of course, much of the curriculum came from Kadoya's Shadow Clones. Overworked and bitter, those clones eventually rebelled against the original. Kadoya dealt with it the usual way: poof, they were gone. And new clones took their place.

His [Photographic Memory] became his library, organized into countless sections. If he needed a piece of information, he simply reached for the right mental shelf. Somewhere, tucked away deep, was a folder labeled: Unnecessary Overworked Memories - DO NOT OPEN.

Beyond schools and care systems, Kadoya's reforms touched commerce too. The Uchiha opened a shopping district and an entertainment quarter, revitalizing the clan's economy and Konoha's nightlife.

One of the most famous attractions is the Uchiha Dance Club, where restless clan members could show off their taijutsu, daring others to dance with them.

The club was not only fun but also a way for many villagers and shinobi to bond. Soon, the place became the village's favorite spectacle, where people could come, dance, and have fun.

It was safe to say: the Uchiha had become the strongest clan in Konoha.

Thanks to Kadoya's mastery of seals and barrier techniques, their compound was impenetrable. Neither Root nor ANBU could monitor them from the outside, and any attempt to infiltrate was met with swift, merciless efficiency.

A key seal Kadoya had devised detected any intruder bearing the cursed tongue seal of Root operatives. The moment such a person set foot inside Uchiha territory, a faint red orb appeared above their head, visible only to those wielding the Sharingan. There was no escape; the moment Root shinobi tried anything suspicious, even the slightest chakra activation, they found themselves surrounded.

Patrolling Uchiha would descend upon them, beating them senseless before dragging them off to the clan's holding cells.

The final insult? The Uchiha would publicly announce that enemy spies had been captured while attempting to cast jutsu within the compound, individuals with no identification, no record in Konoha's shinobi registry.

Every such incident enraged Danzo, who stormed to Hiruzen time and again, demanding the release of his operatives. But doing so required official proceedings and compensation, delivering a blow to Konoha's coffers with each incident.

As for the Konoha F4, they seethed at the Uchiha's rise. They wanted to act, but they couldn't. The village was against them. The Uchiha had earned the favor of the majority of Konoha's citizens, their power far surpassing the combined might of the Sarutobi, Shimura, Utatane, and Mitokado clans.

To make matters worse, the other great clans of Konoha, the Nara, Akimichi, Yamanaka, and even the Inuzuka, had found common ground with the Uchiha. The once aloof clan no longer lorded their pride over others, and that change had earned them allies.

For the Konoha F4, the political noose tightened further. A direct move against the Uchiha risked not only civil unrest but the collapse of their own power.

...

Yawning lazily, a lone figure lounged atop a thick tree branch near the edge of the village. Kadoya, barefoot, clad in a simple black kimono over a fishnet shirt and dark pants, rested with his arms behind his head. His long hair, tied back in a style eerily reminiscent of Indra, swayed slightly in the breeze.

"KADOYA!"

A sharp, familiar voice echoed from below. Cracking open one eye, Kadoya glanced down to see two unmistakable redheads glaring up at him, Kushina and Erza.

"You jerk! Get down here right now!" Kushina shouted, fists clenched. "You still owe us multiple fūinjutsu lessons!"

Kushina had been doing her best to help Erza with sealing techniques, but despite her determination, the two of them had hit a wall. Mito's old scrolls could only take them so far. The real treasure trove of Uzumaki fūinjutsu knowledge sat quite literally above them, lounging in a tree. And as Clan Head of the Uzumaki, it was Kadoya's responsibility to pass that knowledge on.

Kadoya exhaled in resignation, voice drawling with amusement. "Alright, alright."

"Shadow Clone Jutsu."

In a soft puff of smoke, two identical copies of him appeared, leaping down to land lightly before the fuming duo.

"Kadoya, this is so unprofessional!" Erza scolded, her brows twitching. "You can't just throw Shadow Clones at every small task!"

The clones exchanged a knowing glance before gesturing for the two to follow. With no choice but to sigh in defeat, Kushina and Erza trailed after them toward the training grounds.

While the original Kadoya stretched out again on the branch, eyes closing in satisfaction as the wind rustled the leaves.

"Focus your chains on me. Don't let them run wild." Kadoya's clone spoke calmly as Enkidu yanked him back, slipping just out of reach of Kushina's lashing Adamantine Chains.

"I know that already!" Kushina snapped, hands weaving seals in a blur. Black sealing runes pulsed along the length of her kunai.

She hurled it with precision, but before it could strike, the clone vanished in a flicker of speed. The kunai detonated midair, a blast of wind scattering leaves and dust across the training ground.

From a new vantage, the clone murmured, "Not bad... still too slow."

His words had barely left his lips before Kushina was in front of him, fist cocked back, chakra flaring around it.

"Chakra Enhanced Strength!"

Her punch shattered the earth, sending debris flying as a deafening crack echoed through the field.

Appearing once more at a safe distance, Kadoya's clone grimaced.

"Tch! Why did Tsunade have to teach you that?" he muttered, watching as Kushina charged, chakra reinforcing her every step.

Another thunderous punch slammed into where he'd stood, and again he blurred away.

"Oi! This was supposed to be a fūinjutsu lesson, not a taijutsu beatdown!"

But Kushina wasn't listening, fists flying, each strike narrowly missing as the clone flickered from spot to spot.

"I'm starting to worry for Minato's safety when he gets back…" the clone groaned as he dodged yet another punch.

Not far away, another of Kadoya's clones clashed with Erza using only kenjutsu and fūinjutsu. Since she wasn't a real Uzumaki, Kadoya only taught her how to use fūinjutsu to seal her weapons away and summon them out.

As for her armor, well, she isn't willing to expose her body for him to write sealing runes onto her skin to summon them on her directly.

For now, she focused on mastering the flow of summoning and swapping weapons mid-fight.

Their blades clashed, and the two entered a dance of blades.

Her style now uses a form of changing weapons, like when she raises her blade, she would use something small and lightweight, then, when bringing it down, she turns it into a large buster blade, trying to do maximum damage. Then she shifted to a short sword to move back and adjust before changing into a long tachi for a wide swing.

Kadoya was very impressed by her new style. She still isn't used to Chakra much like using ninjutsu, but at least she remembers to enhance her body with them now, unlike before, when she completely forgot to use them and just focused on Taijutsu to train her body.

Back then, Kadoya thought Erza was trying to unlock the Eight Gate to kick him to death later on. Fortunately, she was just training her body to use her weapons and armors, then he had to help and teach her how to use Chakra to increase her physical strength.

Not long after that, following Tsunade's teaching, Erza nearly kicked him to death using the Heavenly Foot of Pain.

Meanwhile, the real Kadoya stirred from his quiet rest, eyes opening as he sensed a familiar presence entering his yard.

"Natsumi?" he murmured, surprised. It had been years, five, six at least, since she'd sought him out, unless it was something serious.

"Kadoya! Come down!" she called.

Without a word, Kadoya let himself fall from the tree. His body hit the ground with a soft puff, bursting apart into a flock of white doves that circled once before reforming before her.

"Yo, sis. Long time no see." His tone was easy, though their bond hadn't quite mended fully since his powers were revealed. At least they weren't acting like strangers anymore.

His gaze drifted to the small child in her arms.

"And who's this little guy?"

Natsumi gave him a look, a mix of fondness and exasperation.

"Tch! So busy playing clan head, you didn't even know you've become an uncle."

Gently, she lifted the child for him to see.

"Meet your nephew. Shisui Uchiha."