My Identity Is Becoming More and More Astonishing

"So your only use is to damn well tell jokes to others?"

"If you want me to tell others, I... I can do that too."

"...Scram."

"Understood!"

The Divine Artifact shuddered, quickly transforming into black smoke and disappearing into the horn.

The enlarged horn also shrank back to its original size.

Bending over, Chen Yu picked up the glowing horn, barely resisting the urge to crush it, and put it back in his backpack, then took out the second artifact—the lute.

Familiar with the process, he once again infused it with his special abilities, and the little lute instantly grew larger.

It became a normal-sized—lute.

Holding it in hand, Chen Yu tentatively plucked the strings.

"Buzz..."

It immediately made a pleasant sound.

Chen Yu: "..."

After waiting a full ten minutes and detecting no other abnormalities, Chen Yu finally lost his patience and exploded in anger, yelling, "It's actually just a fucking lute!!!"

Afterward, he tried the third artifact—the belt.

He found that the purpose of this artifact was to adjust the tightness of the belt at will.

Just think about it, and it instantly adjusts!

It could even help the "owner" quickly pull down their pants...

"You know, this actually is a bit useful," Chen Yu mused, remembering his ability to "Instantly Move," but then immediately roared, "What the fuck use is this! What the hell is all this!"

Three Divine Artifacts.

All three were junk.

This made Chen Yu wonder if most "Divine Artifacts" were just filler, only good as toys.

'Maybe Divine Artifacts aren't supposed to be used like this?'

"..."

'Left school early, missed a lot of essential knowledge. I need to head to the capital as soon as possible and find someone knowledgeable to ask.'

With this thought in mind, Chen Yu didn't hesitate for a moment. He immediately extinguished the campfire, packed up all his belongings, and started running toward human civilization.

He had just taken a few steps when he seemed to remember something, hurried back to the stream, and washed off the crap sticking to his hands.

In doing so, he also saw his own title "The Holy Pregnant Woman" reflected on the water's surface.

As a man who had been through countless bizarre titles like "Serial Dismemberment Killer," "Pristine Virgin," and "Self-Castrated for Humanity,"

today, he was by no means disturbed by ridiculous "titles" anymore.

Not to mention "The Holy Pregnant Woman."

Even if next time he became the "Madam Tortured by STDs," he would just smile slightly, never twitching a muscle.

Looking at the title above his head, the only thought echoing in his mind was a sudden realization.

"Right!"

"Why can't I, indeed, be a pregnant woman..."

...

"Make way, everyone make way, don't touch this beautiful lady."

Three days later, inside the human territory, in Qingcheng.

On a bus headed towards the third middle school, the bus driver wearing sunglasses waved his hands and shouted, "Don't crowd! Give her a seat! Can't you see she's pregnant?"

"It's fine, it's fine." Holding onto the handrail, a long-haired beauty with a big belly, squeezing through the crowd, waved her hands repeatedly, "I'm not pregnant, my belly is full of shit."

All the passengers on the bus: "..."

"Sister, take my seat," a middle school student nearby quickly stood up, offering his seat.

"Thanks a lot." The long-haired beauty unceremoniously sat down on the vacated seat.

A "thud" sound followed.

Making her big belly tremble three times.

The middle school student who gave up his seat was dumbstruck, thinking to himself, "This sister has a really strong butt."

"Young lady, be careful," an older woman on the adjacent seat, furrowing her brows, examined the long-haired beauty's belly, "With such force, what if you had a miscarriage?" Continue your adventure at My Virtual Library Empire

"Ah... right," the long-haired beauty, enlightened, nodded repeatedly, "I'll be more careful next time."

"This must be seven or eight months along, right?" the older woman reached out, touching the long-haired beauty's belly, "Why are you still squeezing onto the bus? Your in-laws are too careless."

"I don't have in-laws," the beauty pursed her lips, dragging her protruding belly.

"Oh, sorry." The older woman paused, hastily corrected herself, "Then what about your husband, you're at this stage, he should be taking care of you."

"I don't have a husband either," the beauty said sadly, looking down.

Upon hearing this, everyone on the bus perked up their ears and their eyes sparkled sneakily, eavesdropping.

Even the bus driver, while keeping one eye on the road ahead, turned the other eye toward the conversation...

"You don't have a husband?" the woman gaped, "Then... who's the father of the child?"

"The child has no father." The long-haired beauty took off her hat, revealing the title "Holy Pregnant Woman": "I conceived as a virgin, bearing Nezha."

The crowd: "..."

Middle-aged woman: "Are you sick?"

Ten minutes later.

Under the terrified gaze of everyone on the bus, Chen Yu jumped out of the crowded bus window, her legs churning rapidly, and dashed out of the bus station, stopping next to a milk tea shop and cradling her large belly.

Several young people in line turned to see the "not so mobile" Chen Yu and immediately gave up their spot.

"Miss, you go first."

"You order first..."

Chen Yu shifted her stance, hands on hips, wobbled into the first spot in line, then turned around to say, "Thank you, guys."

"You're welcome."

"Giving way to a pregnant woman is just proper."

"It's nothing, it's nothing..."

Reflecting on how "civil society" was as kind-hearted as always, Chen Yu ordered a cold drink and happily rubbed her protruding belly.

He (she) is simply a genius.

Due to unearthing the human ancestor's grave and killing a civet-like foreign species, he was now universally considered an enemy.

But just "changing the facade," doesn't that mean starting over?

Especially now with the title of "Holy Pregnant Woman," his (her) identity was simply impeccable!

"It's just too perfect."

Reflecting, Chen Yu took the cold drink handed over by the shop owner and took a big sip.

Breeze through the heart! Spirits soaring!

So delightful it made her tap her feet.

Chen Yu: "Yay! It has pearls!"

Shop owner: "...Girl, it's the middle of winter, can you drink a cold drink in your condition?"

"No worries." Chen Yu tossed the empty cup: "I've already said, my belly's full of crap."

The crowd: "..."

After leaving the milk tea shop, she went to a fast-food restaurant and bought a bunch of burgers. Chen Yu sat on a nearby chair, eating sloppily while quietly resting.

She unashamedly lifted her top, revealing her big belly, like a greasy middle-aged man, slapping her "oily and slick" hands on it with rhythmic "slap slap slap slap" sounds.

Silently feeling the complex glances of passersby towards his (her) belly, utterly shameless.

Now, his (her) new identity was that of a pregnant young girl—Chen Yuer.

More embarrassment, but what did that have to do with Chen Yu?

"Burp."

After a long moment, burping contentedly and licking off the grease from his fingers, Chen Yu stood up and walked into the nearby Hongtukeng Police Station.

In the police station lobby, there were already four or five pregnant women gathered.

All accompanied by police officers, filling out a form.

"Hello, you're here to file a report, right?"

Seeing Chen Yu with her big belly entering, a female officer immediately came forward to support his arm: "Sit first, I'll get you the forms."

"Mhm."

Chen Yu nodded carelessly, looking around the lobby.

After just a short month, Chen Yu actually felt a bit nostalgic...

"Hello, here are the forms."

Soon, the female officer came over with a form identical to the ones in the other pregnant women's hands, smiling and asking, "Were you also invited by our patrolling colleagues?"

"Yes." Chen Yu nodded: "I was just walking down the street today when a few officers told me, register and you get a hundred thousand yuan."

Adopting a new identity.

Old cell phone no longer usable.

He was indeed quite short on cash.

And it just so happened to coincide with the police station "giving out money", how could he miss this opportunity?

"Indeed." The female officer nodded with a smile: "To promote fertility and alleviate citizens' stress, a new policy was issued yesterday, granting a hundred thousand yuan immediately to all registered pregnant women or mothers who have given birth in the past six months."

"That is just great!" Chen Yu licked his lips: "Then let's get started, where should I sign?"

"I'll do it here." The female officer showed the form in her hand: "I'll fill in some important information for you first, the rest you can fill in slowly following the instructions."

Chen Yu: "That's tough, thanks."

Female officer: "Not at all. First, what is your name?"

Chen Yu: "Chen Yuer."

...