Chapter 5: Chapter 05 : My Dear Family
As dinner was wrapping up, Jinwoo caught his sister's eye and didn't know where to look, so he just kept his head down and shoveled food into his mouth. That's when his mom chimed in.
"Mom's gonna shower first, so Jinwoo, you handle the dishes and clean up, got it?"
Embarrassed and ashamed from being caught by his sister, Jinwoo, still avoiding eye contact, just pushed his rice and sides around his plate as he mumbled a response.
"Got it."
Mom then instructed Sohee and Minji as well.
"You girls just help move the dishes."
"Okay, got it."
Their responses echoed.
"Minji, you sleeping in Mom's room again tonight?"
Getting up from her seat, Mom asked Minji in a tone that felt like she was doing a headcount.
"Yeah, with Mom..."
Minji trailed off shyly, seeming a bit embarrassed to answer in front of her brother and sister.
"Alright."
Mom calmly replied and headed downstairs to shower.
"Bro, should I help you with the dishes?" Minji, who had quickly stood up to move the dishes, asked eagerly.
"No, it's almost done. I can handle it myself." Jinwoo had to decline Minji's sweet offer, still dealing with his inner turmoil.
After moving the dishes from the table to the sink, Sohee and Minji headed back to their rooms. Jinwoo felt a burning shame from being caught by his sister earlier, but the feeling seemed to ignite a greater sense of conflict within him rather than make him feel less troubled.
Jinwoo had just finished the dishes and was heading back to his room. From inside the downstairs bathroom, he could hear the shower running. The thought of his mom in there, drenching her body, made Jinwoo feel intensely uneasy. There was a small changing area outside the bathroom, screened off by a curtain.
Through the gaps in the curtain, Jinwoo spotted clothes in the laundry basket, and a striking piece of purple fabric caught his eye. It was his mom's underwear, just taken off. The thought of it stirred an intense rush of conflicting feelings.
Jinwoo quietly slid the curtain aside and stepped into the changing area. The sound of water from the shower was louder now. Through the frosted glass door, he could barely make out the silhouette of his mom. Next to the basket, a pair of panties and a light purple silk pajama set lay on a small table.
Jinwoo looked around once more, took a deep breath, and with his heart pounding, cautiously grabbed the panties. He returned to his room, locking the door behind him. Sitting on the bed, he gave in to his rising confusion and a strange obsession.
He placed the panties against his skin, a soft touch that seemed to make his emotions run wild. In his mind, he was no longer a witness but a participant in a fantasy. He imagined his mom in a vulnerable position. His mind raced with images of intimate acts, a fierce and overwhelming desire to dominate and possess. He imagined a struggle between dominance and submission, the sounds of her breathing, her body tensing, and her eventual release.
Then, a moment of release.
Afterwards, came the post-fantasy emptiness. Wiping off the panties, Jinwoo felt an irreversible sense of regret. He balled up the tissue and tossed it deep into the trash can. Checking the trash can lid to make sure it was closed tight, he put on his pants. He stuffed the panties into his pocket. Then, he just lay sprawled on the bed, overwhelmed with self-loathing. Recalling the look in his sister Sohee's eyes made him feel even worse. Jinwoo clutched his head in torment.
Jinwoo dozed off for a bit and woke up around 10 PM. He fumbled with the panties in his pocket, confirming this wasn't a dream. The thought of returning his mom's panties to the laundry basket spurred him to get up. He also needed a shower. Grabbing a fresh pair of boxers, he cautiously opened his door and tiptoed down to the laundry room.
The clothes previously in the basket were now in the washing machine. He buried his mom's panties among the other laundry and stripped off his own clothes, tossing them into the washer. As he headed for a shower, he replayed the day's events in his mind: Daeho's strange confession, his own fantasies, getting caught by Sohee, and his obsessive act with the panties. He felt completely drained, as if he had poured out all his emotional energy. Yet, there was a strange sense of fulfillment, like he had finally understood a part of his own dark impulses.
After the shower, he dried off with a towel. Thinking everyone was asleep, he walked out of the changing room in just his boxers. That's when he saw his mom coming out of the master bedroom, carrying Minji.
"Jinwoo, are you just out of the shower? It's late, try to do it earlier next time," his mom noticed him and commented.
"Uh... mom... yeah, I just finished showering," Jinwoo replied awkwardly. He was embarrassed not only because he was only in his underwear, but also because there was a stark contrast between the mother he had imagined earlier and the one he was facing now.
"Didn't I tell you before not to wander around the house in just your underwear?"
"Sorry, I thought everyone was asleep."
"Minji and Sohee are here too, you know. You're not a kid anymore, Jinwoo. You're in second grade," she reminded him.
"Yeah, I got it. I'll be careful, mom."
As Jinwoo grew up, the house rule had changed; roaming around in underwear became frowned upon. Until he had started at the school, it was common to see family members lounging around in their underwear. Neither Sohee nor Minji had any qualms about it, and the same went for both parents. Reflecting on it, Jinwoo remembered his oldest sister, Yejin, wandering around in her underwear until she was almost in her second year of high school. He even had memories of Yejin, post-shower and braless, nonchalantly walking around the house.
"But you're moving Minji to her room?" Jinwoo asked, seeing his mom holding Minji.
"Yeah, could you open her room door for me?" his mom requested.
Jinwoo quickly went ahead, opened Minji's room door, and turned on the light. Watching his mom tuck Minji into bed, Jinwoo asked, "Aren't you going to sleep together tonight?"
His mom sighed a little and said, "Sleeping together is only sometimes, you know? It's uncomfortable for me if someone is beside me. Plus, Minji insists on sleeping with the lights on in the master bedroom. It keeps me from sleeping deeply all night. Minji needs to start sleeping alone now! Oh right, you went to Gyuri's today, didn't you?"
Caught off guard by her sudden recall, Jinwoo responded awkwardly, "Uh... uh... yeah..."
"Weren't you supposed to borrow an eye mask from Gyuri? I thought you'd have mentioned it if you were going."
"An eye mask?"
"Yeah, since Minji sleeps with the light on, it might be necessary for a while. Gyuri has a lot of those things," she explained.
Jinwoo's heart raced as he remembered the intimate items Daeho had mentioned Gyuri owned.
"Gyuri is coming over this weekend anyway, but since I need it now, could you stop by her place after school tomorrow and pick it up? I'll talk to Gyuri in the morning."
"Yeah, sure. I'll go over after school tomorrow," Jinwoo replied, a bit excited by the unexpected plan.
"Phew, Minji is getting so big, it's getting hard to carry her," his mom said as she settled Minji in.
"That's kids for you—they grow up so fast," Jinwoo responded, echoing his mom mechanically.
"Ha-ha, if someone heard you, they'd think you were Minji's dad. You're only about 3 years older than her, right?" His mom teased him playfully, finding his mature tone amusing.
Even though it was just teasing, hearing his mom suddenly use formal speech made Jinwoo feel a strange emotion. Plus, being called Minji's dad wasn't that indirectly calling him her husband? A peculiar thrill surged through him, distinctly different from the excitement he had felt earlier.
"But still, you're Minji's brother, so keep looking out for her, okay?" his mom said, gently stroking Minji's head as she slept. It seemed she was increasingly worried about Minji's excessive attachment to her.
"Don't worry, mom! I'll take good care of Minji," Jinwoo reassured her, wanting to ease her concerns.
"Then, in that spirit, why don't you start moving Minji to her room at night?" his mom suggested.
"Huh?"
"You're up late anyway, right? By this time, Minji is usually asleep. Come and turn off the lights in the master bedroom. Let's do it that way. It's not hard, and it'd be a big help to me," she explained, the playful tone blending into a genuine request.
It wasn't a difficult favor to ask. In fact, it seemed almost lucky to Jinwoo; getting to see his mom's sleeping figure every night.
"Yeah, sure, mom," Jinwoo quickly agreed, pleased with the arrangement. That's how Jinwoo ended up visiting the master bedroom nightly to move Minji.
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