Chapter 4: Chapter 04 : My Dear Family
"I first found it digging through the drawers in mom's room."
"Found what?"
"You know, intimate apparel; black accessories, cuffs, a red collar with a leash."
"Really?"
Jinwoo wasn't unfamiliar with the concept, mostly because of Daeho's influence.
"But inside a red collar, it had mom's name on it! 'Gyuri'... I found it about a month ago. At first, I was doubtful. But it seems like mom might have a more submissive side, right?"
"A few days ago, when dad came home from a business trip, right before dinner, I was watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was this loud bang from the kitchen. I turned around and dad was grabbing a drink, and mom was cooking. Despite the noise, she was so calm. I looked closely and saw that red collar on her neck. Her face was turning a little red... It was like she was playing a game right in front of her own son!"
"After dad went back on his trip, when it was just me and mom, I just acted on a strange impulse and touched her. She was doing the dishes. Right after I touched her, she turned around shocked, and I regretted it instantly. I thought I was in huge trouble. But then mom just sighed heavily and turned away, pretending nothing happened. I was so nervous, but then I touched her again a little later... And she still didn't react? My heart was racing. Then I kept touching her gently until she finished the dishes, and she didn't say a word."
"After she finished, her face was flushed, and she said she was tired and was going to bed early. I couldn't stop thinking about it that day. Can you believe my story?"
Daeho's story was shocking. The Aunty Gyuri he had known since childhood...
"Do you wanna try touching my mom too?"
Daeho's suggestion surprised Jinwoo once again. As strange as it was, asking his friend to do such a thing seemed insane. His body was trembling with a mix of fear and forbidden excitement. The opportunity to touch Aunty Gyuri in that way was something he had never even considered. But he couldn't bring himself to answer. Images of his mom's anger came to mind, along with the disappointed faces of his family.
"Man, if my mom hears about this, I might get beaten to death."
"Ah, you scaredy-cat~! It's fine, didn't you see earlier? Ah, so pathetic."
In the end, Jinwoo did nothing. When he left the house, Aunty Gyuri greeted him as usual, as if nothing had happened. That nonchalant attitude made Jinwoo even more intrigued. All the way home, Jinwoo's mind was racing with strange thoughts. But then he remembered his angry mom's face and shook his head, overwhelmed by guilt. A mix of fear, guilt, and anxiety tormented him severely.
This confusing state continued to repeat. After a while, he realized the object of his thoughts had switched from Aunty Gyuri to his own mom. At that moment, Jinwoo's entire body was covered with goosebumps. In his mind, there was no longer the disappointed and angry face of his mother. Instead, there was a version of his mom, excited and blushing from a son's gentle touch. Jinwoo was trembling with uncontrollable excitement.
Ever since Jinwoo got home, he couldn't calm down. He couldn't look his mom in the face when he walked in. He could still hear the sound of Daeho's hand hitting Gyuri's body in his ears. The momentary expression of shock and embarrassment on Aunty Gyuri's face kept flashing before his eyes. Now he could easily imagine his mom's face making the same expression.
Sitting in his room, Jinwoo wondered. What would happen if I touched my mom? Maybe that day would turn into another day of family sadness. But still, the thought of seeing mom's face turn red with embarrassment was oddly appealing. Suddenly, he pictured his mom in an intimate collar, her body in a position of vulnerability. A dizzying pleasure wrapped around his entire body. He felt a familiar stir in his body. Jinwoo locked the door and started fantasizing about his mom for the first time in his life. He imagined his mom, a willing partner in this intimate game, with a collar. He imagined touching her, and her breathing hard, barely holding in her sighs of endurance. He imagined a climax of deep pleasure.
"Ah...mom...Haemi~"
Jinwoo finished, and the intense emotions and sense of dominance that had filled him vanished in an instant. Overwhelming guilt and self-loathing crashed down on him.
"Fuck, fuck"
He was hit by a wave of immense regret. Could he ever look at his mom's face the same way again? He felt tears moistening the corners of his eyes. Desolation and guilt seemed to wash away the remnants of pleasure.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck"
He covered his eyes with his hands and repeated the same curse over and over for a while.
Some time passed, and it was dinner time. Jinwoo finally pulled himself together, cleaned up, and went downstairs to eat. Sohee and Minji were sitting at the dining table, and mom was serving the rice. The rice cooker was on the second shelf of a storage unit, and it was low enough that it seemed easier to scoop the rice while squatting.
Mom was squatting down, serving rice and then passing it to Sohee. Wearing a light gray pleated skirt that came down to her knees and a wine-colored T-shirt, mom's outfit revealed her slender waist and full figure as she squatted. Seeing her right in front of him, Jinwoo felt his post-fantasy guilt vanish, and he started to feel aroused again. He stared blankly for a while until he felt a slight stiffness, snapping him back to reality to find a seat.
"What were you doing in your room? Come down quickly, it's tough for mom to prepare the meal alone." Sohee, still holding onto the morning's incident, scolded Jinwoo.
Caught off guard by her question, Jinwoo blushed, remembering his recent actions.
"Oh my~ Our Sohee has grown up~ So, did you finish cleaning your room?" Before Jinwoo could answer, mom interrupted.
"Oh man! I'm slowly getting to it~ And I help a lot with the housework usually. It's because Jinwoo is always holed up in his room doing weird stuff that you say that. Why do you only talk to me like that, mom~huh?" Sohee whined to mom as if she felt unfairly treated.
"What are you talking about, saying mom only talks to you that way? Jinwoo does the dishes a lot too. Today, Jinwoo will do the dishes, so don't be too hard on your brother." Naturally, Jinwoo was selected for dishwashing duty.
Jinwoo felt a weird thrill from Sohee's mention of his "weird stuff," and the strange situation of his mom defending him, who he had just fantasized about. That feeling was causing him to get aroused again.
"Tonight's side dishes include sausages, your favorite, oppa. I made them earlier~ I like them too." Minji spoke up while Jinwoo was embarrassingly dealing with his erection.
Minji's face, the face that had been a source of innocence in this house. Turning to look at Minji, she gave him a slight smile. Just like in the morning, Jinwoo felt his arousal increase. Now, even Minji was no longer a safe presence in the house.
Jinwoo, thinking there was nothing he could do about his state, mindlessly watched as mom turned towards the stove to get the stew, and he started sneakily staring at her full, beautiful form. It felt like touching her in that intimate way would bring a satisfying thrill. And seeing mom get flustered would be something to see.
As mom moved the stew to the table, he followed her with his gaze, but then he locked eyes with Sohee sitting across. Jinwoo flinched and quickly looked away. Sohee seemed puzzled as she alternated her gaze between Jinwoo's eyes and where his gaze had just been—right at their mom. Sohee looked shocked as if she had realized something, and then she looked at Jinwoo and scoffed with contempt.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck.." Jinwoo started repeating this word in his mind again.
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