My Childhood Friend Became an Inquisitor

“Oh, ma’am? Where’s Anne?”
“…Go home. The young miss is sick today and can’t play with you.”
*

“Let’s stop here for today.”

How could that simple sentence make me feel as if the doors of paradise had opened wide?

As soon as the words fell, I closed the book. Anne gently moved away from my body, and where we had been in contact, sticky marks of what might have been sweat or candle wax remained.

I finally found the freedom to move my body, but I was so drained that I collapsed face-down on the desk. Anne approached from the side, removed the book, and reached out to gently tidy my disheveled hair.

“You worked hard.”

That suddenly gentle voice almost brought tears to my eyes. But then, realizing who was the cause of that ‘hard work’ in the first place, the tears instantly retreated.

At least the current Anne was the ‘gentle’ Anne. What she held in her hand was no longer a candlestick but a towel, and Anne wiped my limp body without any complaints.

So it was candle wax. I wondered why residue remained, but it seems this was a holy trace that wasn’t purified.

“Can you get up? Should I move you?”

To Anne, who reached out her arms without waiting for an answer, I replied as firmly as I could.

“…I’ll get up.”

My voice, drained of energy, wasn’t as firm as I had intended, but the meaning was conveyed. A common negation to two questions.

I’m not in good enough shape to get up right away, but I don’t want to get up with your help either.

“…Alright, I’ll wait.”

Anne withdrew her hand, her eyes drooping like a sad puppy. It was hard to believe that this was the same person who had urged me to keep reading without batting an eye while I was screaming.

Suddenly, a mischievous feeling arose. The thought of wanting to pour out sharp sarcasm at the current Anne. Because that was the only small revenge I could take against you.

…Let’s not. It’s too petty, and I’m afraid of the backlash later.

In fact, it was a contradictory thought even as I soothed myself. How is it petty for a victim of brutal torture to pour out sarcasm at their abuser?

But I deliberately stopped my thoughts there.

There shouldn’t be any other reason why I don’t want to say harsh words to you.

Even in this state.

“Huu.”

I staggered to my feet. Rather than there being something wrong with my bodily functions, it was difficult to steady myself as if my head was hungover.

Anne fidgeted, seemingly worried that I might fall. But even so, because I had pushed her away, she couldn’t reach out to support me.

In the end, disaster struck. Midway through getting up, my feet got tangled, and I wobbled.

“Ah.”

My dazed mind couldn’t accept reality. I was just staring at the world turning upside down, not even taking minimal measures to break my fall.

There was a hand that caught me abruptly. Leaning diagonally, I see a worried face looking down at me.

“Are you okay?”

Am I okay? Am I not okay? I’m not sure. I was so exhausted without having done anything, it felt like everything inside me had drained out, leaving only an empty shell.

Barely moving using the remaining dregs as fuel, it wouldn’t be strange if I just stopped at any moment. Just closing my eyes like this.

I wanted to entrust everything to the sweet darkness.

“Louis.”

I didn’t answer. Not out of resentment, but because I didn’t know why I should answer.

What are you saying, Anne is calling you. You called, so I should answer. That was natural. Anytime, anywhere. We couldn’t always be stuck together, and sometimes we had to be apart.

If you needed me, I always tried to be by your side. If you call, I should run to you. Why? Why is why?

Anne needs me, what other reason could possibly be needed…

“Louis!”

When I blinked, I was already lying on the bed.

Scenes don’t connect as if I had teleported. Huh, I’m sure I was sitting in a chair just a moment ago.

Why am I like this? As I tried to get up in a daze, Anne gently pushed me back down.

“Shh, stay still. You need to rest.”

“Anne…?”

Not pressing down on me like a living rack, but a gentle touch filled with restraint and concern. I couldn’t shake off the weight of her consideration more than her strength.

Come to think of it, I seem to have a fever. I think I once heard from the old herbalist that when bad things enter the body, it gets hot to drive them out again.

My current state seemed exactly like that. Or maybe my body and head had been overworked to the point of declaring a strike.

“I should be leaving soon, but I guess it can’t be helped.”

Contrary to her words suggesting she had no choice, Anne was already actively pulling out all sorts of nursing tools from thin air. Seeing this, I unconsciously grasped her sleeve.

“Don’t… go…”

“Okay. I won’t go. How could I leave you and go somewhere?”

Anne pushed the towel covered in candle wax back into the air and pulled out a clean new towel. Then she took out a water bowl and let the towel absorb the moisture.

Reminded of the sensation of holy water, I unconsciously shrank back, but Anne just gently patted my shoulder as if to reassure me.

“Don’t worry. This is just normal water.”

She placed one damp towel on my forehead and carefully wiped my arms and legs with other damp towels. Although she seemed to have more experience being cared for than caring for others, her touch was somewhat clumsy.

Despite that, the things Anne had prepared were as detailed and varied as the red-haired Inquisitor’s iron box. She stuck a transparent stick in my ear to look, and sometimes put her ear to my chest to listen to my heartbeat.

Inexperienced actions and prepared equipment. As if there were instructions expecting me to end up like this.

“Are you okay, Louis? You’re not seeing any hallucinations like black beasts or swarms of insects, are you?”

While the first part might have been something Anne would say, the latter certainly wasn’t. I shook my head even in the midst of my fever.

I had no idea what she was talking about, but Anne seemed quite relieved to have received an answer.

“Thank goodness… Then you’ll be fine soon.”

Despite saying she was relieved, Anne was restless the whole time, as if worried something might go wrong with me. It was bad enough that I, the patient, had to lightly pat her arm to calm her down.

Come to think of it, our positions have completely reversed. You were weak, and I was known for being one of the healthiest in the village. So while I often visited you when you were sick, I rarely fell ill myself.

After becoming an adult, I carried loads all day, so I couldn’t help but build up stamina. For me, who was like that, to be sick now…

“Ugh…”

It’s because I’ve been through such a physically and mentally grueling journey recently.

In this situation, it would be strange not to fall ill, either physically or mentally. Even if everything becomes clean, erased, and healed by the unrealistic powers of the re-education center.

The sharp light only pokes at the surface and doesn’t reach the intimate inner parts. Mold naturally grew on the heart that couldn’t bask in the sun and remained in the shade.

Even you, who were once my light, can now only caress the outermost part of me.

“It’s okay, Louis, the pain is only temporary…”

Even the kind whisper now only echoes hollowly.

As Anne had said, the sudden high fever gradually subsided as time passed. It wasn’t any definite illness, more like a general malaise, so it was natural for it to improve with such attentive care.

Anne was always by my side except when she occasionally went out to bring supplies. She continuously cooled my feverish body with damp towels, and sometimes poured a mixture of milk porridge and holy water down my throat.

I didn’t have the energy to resist, but for some reason, it didn’t feel as painful as before. Maybe it’s because my body has become that hot now. Such a ridiculous thought suddenly occurred to me.

That wasn’t the only ridiculous thing. I couldn’t help but be moved by such dedicated care.

“…Ha, uha.”

Even if I fear and rebel when treated roughly and violently, when treated gently and kindly again like this, I end up softening again. Even knowing that another whipping awaits behind the extended carrot.

How many times, how many times do I keep hoping despite being betrayed? Even if that hope is betrayed once again, I can’t stop hoping.

Because you in my memories, in my reminiscences, were that dazzling and brilliant.

Even now, fallen into pitch darkness, I end up seeking a ray of light from you.

“Thank goodness. Your fever has gone down a lot.”

I wander through endless darkness and hardship, chasing after faded radiance, momentary sparks.

Moreover, Anne wasn’t even deceiving me with lies and was keeping what she had said.

Another day passed while I slept, suffering from the fever. One meal a day, followed by Bible study. Although I still had a slight fever, my condition had improved considerably.

Among the nursing tools still scattered here and there, Anne once again pulled out a candlestick. The candlestick, which had clearly become quite short, had returned to its original length.

“Do we have to… do it today too?”

“Of course.”

“I’m really, really sick and tired… Can’t we rest just for today…?”

I was now begging like a child, abandoning even my minimal self-respect. Anne, hearing my words, lightly bowed her head and pressed our foreheads together.

Perhaps because I still had a fever, her white skin now felt somewhat cool. Her hazy sky-blue eyes stared at me without blinking once, then soon our foreheads separated.

“It’s okay, this level is the stable period.”

“Anne…”

“Ahaha, Louis. Have you become a spoiled child? Of course, I want to grant any request from you, but…”

Naturally, all of that was of no use.

“No. This is for you, not for me.”