My Childhood Friend Became an Inquisitor

“Young miss, you’re afraid of lightning, aren’t you?”
“Yes…”
“But what’s far more frightening is your father.”
*

“Read aloud, one page at a time.”

The voice providing a signpost for what I should do is quite kind. In a sense, it was no different from Anne’s usual self.

Give me the knife, tie the knot from here, extremely ordinary conversation. In fact, it wasn’t different even now. How difficult could it be to read a book aloud?

But the atmosphere of Anne standing straight behind me as I sat was so strange that I hesitated for a long time.

When I couldn’t make progress despite sufficient waiting, the candlestick Anne was holding tilted.

Drip.

Melted wax drops onto my nape. Anne pressed down on the back of my neck again, preventing me from getting up as I tried to writhe and convulse.

At least my mouth was open, so I was free to scream.

“Aaargh! W-What is this…”

“There, good boy. Louis.”

As if soothing a child, while demonstrating adult-like strength, Anne pressed me down again. The pressed wax spreads and smears, and even though my skin feels like it’s burning, my gaze is forcibly directed towards the book.

This too was a familiar sensation. Holy fire. But whether it was God’s flame or the devil’s flame, the essence remained unchanged. That it was unbearably hot for humans.

“Shall we continue reading?”

“…What’s different.”

Was it because I had regained some strength through the meal? Or was it because my mind had stabilized as much as you were by my side?

A flame I thought had been extinguished deep in my heart ignites again. In a pitiful state, held by the nape like a kitten unable to move, I shouted sharply.

“Hm?”

“I said, what’s different about you? From that Inquisitor!”

Desperately, the moment I tried to shake off Anne’s hand pressing me down and get up.

Bang!

A force incomparable to just before presses me down. With pressure that felt like it might break my neck, my head was slammed straight onto the table.

It hurts, it hurts. From my forehead, which I don’t know how many times it’s been broken, blood as red as the first time flows out despite having bled so many times, staining the first page of the open Bible.

In the beginning ■ was ■

But more than the physical pain my body had inevitably become accustomed to, my heart hurt more. Anne, Anne had.

Pain inflicted not by tools or means, but by her pure strength. One could argue that it doesn’t matter how pain is inflicted in the end, but.

You, and I, couldn’t think that way.

“Ah.”

A voice that’s neither gentle nor cold, as if surprised at itself, sounds dismayed. I can feel the strength slowly leaving the arm that struck me down, but I too had no strength to lift my head again.

I can’t see Anne’s expression, but Anne probably can’t see my face either. In that state, I spoke as if spitting out words.

“Is this… for my sake too?”

“……”

No answer came.

Silence flowed as I couldn’t even think of lifting my head from the holy book, which was being stained by the blood and saliva flowing out, unable to care about it being defiled.

I can feel the bleeding stopping and the pain healing at an incomprehensibly fast rate. I decided not to care anymore. This too must be the grace of that so-called God.

As I stayed with my forehead pressed down as if in protest, a trembling voice pierced down on me.

“No…”

A tone of fear as if having broken a dish the lady cherished.

“There’s no way I would hurt Louis.”

“Then, what was that just now?”

“Just now… wasn’t Louis, so…”

What nonsense are you spouting? Unable to bear it any longer, I raised my head again. The wound had stopped bleeding, but the blood that hadn’t been completely wiped off fell, sticky and clotted.

The book, which had been a mess soaked in blood, was returning to its original worn but neat appearance as if time was rewinding. As if nothing could defile God’s glory.

Seeing this, a violent impulse raced through my mind. If I tore that book to shreds, would the re-education center rewind even the book’s damage as if nothing had happened?

As if this pain was nothing – like when my wounds were rewound?

“I’m glad, it’s Louis now.”

I can see the eyes of a girl clearly terrified. But it was different from being afraid because I was hurt, or being sad about being hated by me.

The gaze with its focus somewhat off couldn’t be aligned no matter how hard I tried.

“You…”

“Let’s read, Louis. Quickly, hurry.”

Spitting out fragmented words as if she had become a broken machine, Anne urged me again. As if she wouldn’t even bother to excuse what had just happened.

The words spit out rapidly ta-ta-ta were as urgent as a small animal being chased by something. With consideration drained away, her hand pressing me down so strongly it hurt no longer allowed even the slightest movement of my body.

Yet when I still didn’t turn my gaze to the book, Anne tilted the candlestick once more.
My self-portrait reflected distortedly in the flickering flames sheds tears. A drop hardened with wax, carrying heat, flowed down my nape.

“Urgh…”

“I don’t want to hurt Louis either.”

Contrary to the voice whispering so monotonously, a strange heat was contained in her eyes. Only when I barely averted my gaze from those eyes and turned towards the book did the tilted candlestick find its balance again.

But the stinging lingering pain remained. Even though I wanted to reach out and touch to see how badly I was hurt, it was impossible while being held down and pressed by Anne.

Stumbling, I began to read the Bible, which still had faint bloodstains remaining.

“In the beginning there was nothingness.”

When this ‘lesson’ is over, my back will probably become smooth as if it had never been burned in the first place. At that moment, all the pain I felt will be treated as if it never happened.

As I read down the old-fashioned words written in the musty book, my head became dizzy and anger surged in my chest. What on earth did I do wrong to be treated like this here?

Ailim, answer me!
If you are truly God, if you cherish your children so much!

“In the distant time, when Ailim first felt boredom…”

Or are you saying that I, who am persecuted by your most beloved children, am not your child? Am I just a finger that won’t hurt even if cut off?

But of course, there was no divine response. Neither from Ailim nor even from Rowe. In the silence of the gods.

“Emptiness and infinity… are meaningless.”

“Good, you’re doing well, Louis.”

Me, reading the Bible while trembling, feeling like I was pulling worms out of my throat.
Only Anne’s shadow, flickering from the candlestick she held, covering me entirely like a huge monster, was murmuring.

“In finiteness, kugh, hic, hic, h. Life first bloomed.”

“Yes, it’s okay. Don’t stop.”

My head feels dizzy and hazy. I feel like I’m going mad with anger and despair filling my heart. The more I buried my face in the Bible, the more it seemed like blood was splattering from wounds that had stopped bleeding long ago, obscuring the letters.

In the distorted and inverted vision, the contents of the Bible occasionally changed into bizarrely carved letters I couldn’t understand. Whenever the recitation hesitated even slightly, the candle wax dripping from behind made me cry.

The hand holding me, and the hand pouring candle wax on me, were chillingly precise. Just enough that I couldn’t resist, just enough that I wouldn’t faint.

Pressing down as if she herself had become a living rack, Anne whispered incessantly into my ear.

“Among the beasts of the land, birds of the sky, and creatures of the water…”

“It’s all for you.”

“Only humans, born closest to Ailim, kut. Held the right to rule the world…”

“It’s okay if you don’t understand now.”

“…Rejoice, for you are the second noblest beings in the world.”

“I’ll save you.”

The sensation of your body pressing mercilessly against mine, your warmth both soft and slender yet also full, pricked me like thorns. As if embraced by an iron maiden, I was sometimes seized by the urge to feel all over my body.

Wondering if my body had been pricked and pierced by thorns, full of holes. But you didn’t allow me any freedom beyond turning my head.

Averting my gaze from the Bible spread out before me, that was the only freedom granted to me.
Even that worthless freedom came with an excessive price.

“Remember… why our Lord fell asleep.”

“Yes. One step, one step at a time like that.”

“You licentious ones, is there freedom you deserve to have?”

In a world brighter than anything, filled with light, time stained with candle wax and tears slowly fades.

Even with my eyes closed, it’s so full of radiance that I can’t sleep, but you, embracing me in this, still only spoke of darkness.

“We’re moving towards the light.”