Moral Degeneration

Christmas morning was exciting. Audrey knocked on my door in the early morning hours. Luna slid under my bed as I answered the door. Audrey was interested to know if I wanted to join her for a morning workout. I agreed and went down with her. Luna soon pretended to wake up and met us in the basement. 

 

Still sore I started some yoga poses, and it wasn’t long till they joined me. Yoga was far more full-body muscle intensive than working out. Instead of targeting certain areas I was able to touch on every muscle. Holding weird positions I was only able to do a few seconds here and there, but we went through all the poses I remembered. 

 

The girls rather liked it. I made up something about my mom teaching me. We were all sore by the end, and they asked if I would show them how to do it the next day. I agreed of course, not much else to do. 

 

After that we hung around while Audrey made a simple breakfast. It didn’t snow, but it was forecasted for the next day. I read the paper, but it wasn’t too different from my old timeline. On the front page was the announcement of a male birth. There were some stats for female sports, and the death of a man was plastered on the Eulogy page. He had lived a few miles outside of town and was 89. 

 

Ava joined us for breakfast and I heard funny stories of past Christmases. It was odd to think that in every one of their stories there wasn’t a male present. No drunken dad in his chair. No yelling at relatives. No drama really. 

I was starting to think that men were a lot more important than I realized. Not that there weren’t plenty of homes without men in them back in my timeline. But back then there were brothers and friends that were boys. Now I was the man of the house, and I’d only been there a couple of days. 

 

Ava left and it was soon just Luna, Audrey, and I. “What about your friends?” I asked Luna. 

 

“Grace is in Vancouver skiing with her family. Samantha is with her other mom down in Des Moines,” she said. I didn’t know these girls. But I guessed Samantha’s moms had divorced and split custody. An interesting concept, but I could see it. 

 

“Since I have to work so much over Christmas we don’t do anything big,” Audrey said. “We make up for it by doing a big vacation over the summer. This year we are planning on the Florida Keys.” 

“Oh fancy, am I invited?” I asked, half joking. 

 

“Of course,” Audrey said. “I bought your ticket yesterday.” I was more than a little shocked that she had taken to me living with them so easily. I actually felt my throat tighten. I pushed the feeling away. 

 

“Uh thanks,” I said, blushing. She smiled and patted my hand as I fought whatever feelings were welling up inside me.

 

“What should we do today?” Audrey asked, changing the subject. 

 

“Supposed to snow tomorrow,” I said. “Let’s do something I’ve always wanted to do. Sledding.” 

 

“Sledding? What?” Audrey asked. “You’re too old for that.” 

 

“You’re never too old to go sledding,” I said. “Come on. There’s snow on the ground. It's the perfect thing to do for Christmas.” 

 

“I doubt there's anywhere open,” she said. 

 

“Doesn’t matter. There’s snow and hills. Lets drive around, find one and go down it a bunch.” I had always wanted to do it on Christmas. I typically lived in the Southern states in my early childhood. Why not start sledding now? We were soon packing up and going out the door. I thought about inviting Ryleigh, but she had her own stuff going on. 

We drove around a little and found a nice bare hill. They had an old sled hidden in the garage. I dragged it up the hill regretting every step. I pushed on though. Luna slipped and I grabbed her hand. Then Audrey slipped as well. I tied the sled’s rope to my belt and was holding both of their hands as we crested the hill. They had blushes on their faces. Either from exertion or excitement, I didn’t know. 

 

“Ok, the front is the most important position,” I said. I doubted Cool Runnings had been made into a movie. I was curious if the Olympics were still a thing. “Who is confident enough to take the position?” 

“You do it,” Audrey said. 

 

“I’m just a weak boy. The front has to be strong. Luna, do you think you can manage?” I asked. She rolled her eyes but nodded. With Luna in front, Audrey was behind her, and I was at the back. “Ok I will run us. Luna you guide. Audrey, you follow where she leans.” 

 

“It’s just sledding,” Audrey said, but she had a smile on her lips. 

 

“1, 2, 3, go,” I yelled quickly and pushed her down. I jumped on and latched onto her back. The hill was rather steep, something the girls were quickly realizing. They screamed as we gained speed. We turned a little but it was a straight shot down. The girls panicked after we started really flying. They tumbled and we rolled off. 

 

I was laughing loudly as we became encased in snow. The husky women’s snow gear I was wearing protected me from intruding snow. Eventually the girls joined me in laughing. I helped them up and we made our way back around the hill to go back up. They excitedly talked about the simple run, and we went up and down the hill a good dozen times before we were too exhausted to continue. 

After that we went home and the girls relaxed while I made them hot cocoa. They thanked me profusely and we sat around for a bit like a real family. We watched a movie similar to It’s a Wonderful Life, but this time it was a lesbian couple. Back then it wasn’t rare to have multiple boys in a household. Audrey told me about 2 of the couple's sons in the movie. One stayed in movies, but died a few years back, then the other became a director. I guessed men were the celebrities of this world. 

 

The girls rested on my shoulders but before I knew it they were asleep. I extricated myself from between them and headed to the phone on the wall in the kitchen. Punching in the numbers the line rang quite a few times. 

 

Eventually it was answered, “What?!” Gail yelled out of breath. 

 

“How’s my sexy police officer?” I asked with a smile on my face. 

 

“Who is this?” She asked, anger still in her voice. 

 

“It’s your boytoy, Russ,” I said. 

 

“Russ!? Is it really you? Millie, it’s Russ,” she yelled off the line. 

 

“Russell, where are you? What are you doing?” Millie asked out of breath. 

 

“I’m in Minneapolis. I found my guardian. She’s pretty nice. Living with her currently. Thought I’d call and see how your Christmas was,” I said. 

 

“It’s great now. We’ve been so worried,” Millie said. 

 

“Millie was worried,” Gail corrected. 

 

“You were too,” Millie whined. 

 

I chuckled. “What were you 2 doing? Did I interrupt some horizontal fun?” 

“You did,” Gail said.

 

“Hush,” Millie said. “How are you, Russ?” 

 

“I’m great. We just got back from sledding. I got a cell phone too. You want the number?” I asked. 

 

“You don’t mind?” Millie asked, I could hear the smile in her voice. 

 

“Of course not. How else can I stay in touch with my hot mountain girls?” I asked. I read off the number. It would be better if texting was a thing, but the phone companies jacked up the prices still. It would take a few years for the prices to drop to something reasonable. 

 

“Hey, Russ, we took care of your mom,” Gail said quickly. 

 

“Good.” I didn’t add that I hoped she burned in hell. Burning at the funeral home was enough for her. “The feds said that cabin is mine. You 2 mind keeping an eye on it?” 

 

“You sure?” Millie asked. 

 

“Of course. I feel like I might need the vacation home up there. I’d hate for it to go into disrepair. I have a lot of money. I might be willing to pay to have a road built to it if you can get me some pricing.” 

 

“Ok,” Millie said excitedly. “When will you be back?” 

“Spring break, maybe? Summer for sure,” I said. “You 2 gonna be there when I do?”

“We will look at our schedules,” Gail said. 

 

“Oh I see how it is. You just wanted me for a fun night, now I’m chopped liver,” I teased. 

“No!” Millie said frantically. “Don’t listen to her. We would love to see you.”

 

“I know, Mill, I’m joking. I’d love to see you too. Keep the bed warm for me. If you don’t hear from me I’m just busy. Don’t be afraid to call,” I said. We said a few more pleasantries and hung up. 

 

“Who was that?” Luna asked. 

 

“A cute lesbian couple I met,” I said unashamedly. “They live by the cabin my mom had. I asked them to watch over it. I might have helped them get pregnant. Jury’s still out on that.” 

 

Luna bit her lip as she walked closer. She sat at the kitchen island between us. I could tell she wanted to say something. I stared at her, waiting for her to ask. She needed prodding. 

“Yes, dear?” I asked. She blushed. 

 

“I uh, don’t know,” she said. “Like my whole life, men have been put on this pedestal. I never imagined we would have one in the house.” I doubted my body could be considered a man, but I ignored that as she continued. “There’s this famous couple. Tyler and Angela Martin. They’re in all these movies. In the news they were always this happy couple. Spitting out kids, they have like 6 girls. A few years ago they claimed they were monogamous with each other. It was all over the magazines. There was a lot of outrage. You know, since the list for women that want a kid was so long. They stuck with it though. I kind of dreamed of that for me someday,” she admitted. 

 

“Oh yeah?” I asked. I moved around the kitchen island and sat next to her. Grabbing her hand I was surprised to see a few tears falling from her eyes. 

 

“It was all bullshit. Turns out he was sleeping with a bunch of women. They broke up. He started drinking, got a few DUIs. Then to make up for it he had to sign up for the sperm donation program. You know, so he wouldn’t have to go to jail,” she sniffled and wiped her tears. 

 

“There used to be these stories of a prince charming and happily ever after. Before the Pox. Now it’s either you’re alone, or you’re lucky enough to find some woman you want to spend your life with,” she said bitterly. 

 

“There’s always another option,” I said. Luna turned to me. Hope in her eyes. It was hard to have to tell her the truth, but I wasn’t up for playing with some young girl’s heart. “We can accept the way the world is, or change it. But like people, the world doesn’t change. So we have to accept it. I like you Luna. I’ve only known you for a couple of days, but I want to get to know more about you. I can’t promise you monogamy, but I can promise a piece. I can make time for you. Like this morning. Going out to go sledding instead of watching TV. We can do things. Make new memories. Or we can be sad about the memories we will never make. Wallow in our grief. Do you really think that Angela Martin lady is happy now?” 

 

Luna shook her head. “No, she’s been in and out of rehab the last few years.” 

 

“See,” I said. “How about instead of lying to you, I tell you the truth?” I asked. She gave me a confused look. “I would prefer to just be open about things. Do you want to hear how I met the lesbian couple?” Luna thought about it for a moment. Drying her eyes she sighed but nodded. 

 

“The girls I was on the phone with. They live in a small town called Mount Pleasant. I left my mom’s cabin after she killed herself and got stopped by Gail. She was the town cop. They invited me into their home. They had been married for years. Said they’d been on the sperm donation lottery just as long.” I didn’t let go of her hand as I talked about the other women. “They asked me for my help. And I gave it. As I would try to give any woman that asked for help. And if it didn’t take, I will help them try again. And if it did, then I’ll try to be in my kid’s lives.” 

 

“You will?” She asked, confused. 

 

“Of course,” I said. “Have you ever met your dad?” She shook her head. I moved my hand to her wrist. My Lineage Bracelet didn’t beep as it touched her. “Would you have wanted to? I know I did once. A long time ago, I had to know. I tried desperately to find information about him. But then I realized that if he wanted to know about me, he would have sought me out. He didn’t care. After that I always said if I had kids I would at least meet them. Let them know I cared. Try to help them if they needed anything.” 

 

Luna was full on crying as I looked back up at her. I grabbed her head and moved it toward mine. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I didn’t mean to make you sad.” 

 

“No, you’re right. I always wanted that too,” she said. “People don’t talk about it. None of my friends know their dads.” Luna cried harder as she said the words. It was a hard truth to face. I let her cry into my shoulder. 

 

When she calmed down a little I still rubbed her back. “It’s alright, Luna. Your mom wanted you. Try to take comfort in that,” I said. 

 

“I do!” Audrey said. Coming from around the corner she must have been listening in. She was crying too. Moving toward us she grabbed us both and the girls started crying harder. I rolled my eyes but rubbed their backs. It was a long time before they calmed down. 

 

“I never met my dad either,” Audrey said. Then there was more water works as they moaned about how sorry they were and they didn’t know how the other felt. I thought it was kind of obvious, and a little odd they hadn’t talked about this sort of thing. Maybe psychiatry wasn’t as mainstream as it was in my timeline. 

 

“You never met your dad either,” Audrey said. Expecting me to cry she wrapped her arm around my head holding me tighter. “It’s ok.”

 

“Yeah, no, I’m good,” I said. “He’s probably an ass anyway.” The girls still sobbed a little longer. My shirt was wet from Luna’s tears, and my hair was wet from Audrey’s. 

“What brought this on?” Audrey asked as they wrapped up. 

 

“I was talking about how I might become a dad,” I said. 

“Already?” Audrey asked. She looked to Luna. “With who?” There was a little fear in her voice. I guessed she didn’t want Luna pregnant either. The blonde blushed. 

 

“This nice couple I met in the mountains. I was telling Luna how if they were pregnant, I want to be in the kid’s lives.” 

“You do?” Audrey asked. Genuinely excited. “That’s great.” 

“That’s what I think,” I said. “Who cares if we have deadbeat dads. I’d like to do a better job of it. It’s not like I have big shoes to fill or anything. But wouldn’t it be great? Doing Christmas every year, but instead of the 3 of us, there’s kids everywhere. You can’t tell me a bunch of munchkins wouldn’t love to go sledding for hours. And this place is too big for just us. If you don’t mind, I'd like to bring more people here.” 

 

Audrey began crying again. This time they were happy tears. “I would love that,” she sobbed. She grabbed our heads again and drew us in. “I would love that so much. This house has been so empty. It used to be filled to the brim when I was younger. Do you mean it?” She asked between sobs. 

 

“Of course,” I said.

 

I was surprised it was so easy to come to an answer. Maybe I did know what I wanted to do with my life. Have a bunch of kids and help them grow to become adults. Adjusted adults that knew how to hunt, fish, and have fun. Adults that knew who their father was. And maybe eventually I’d have a boy, and teach him the same thing. I already had a lot on my resume. Maybe being a dad would be a good one to add.