Macho Man Doesn't want a Slice-of-Life

Rinji, determined to trigger a divorce event, kept rolling the dice onto misfortune tiles, but all he got were harmless incidents.

The entire game didn't contain many misfortune events to begin with. The ratio of lucky, random, and misfortune events was 3:7:2, and most of those misfortunes had already been triggered by Ishigami and Rinji.

"Tch, why aren't there any divorce events?"

"Takamine, you seem to really hate the marriage event, huh?" Fujiwara said with a smile. "But marrying me is super lucky, you know~"

"I'm not even going to question why you used the word 'marry' from your point of view, but marrying someone who's constantly finding new ways to deal critical damage to me is definitely a massive L."

As he spoke, his eyes drifted to the few remaining misfortune event cards on the board.

"Don't tell me there aren't any emotional breakdown-type events left."

"Hmph~"

Fujiwara's smug expression only confirmed Rinji's suspicion.

"Forget it, couples share the effects of the tiles anyway, right?"

"Yep."

"So if I just throw her into a car accident event, I can 'lose my wife,' right?"

"Hey! Rinji-kun, that's going too far!"

Fujiwara cried out.

"To think you'd target your beloved wife... You're the worst!"

"This is just a game, and you're not my wife anyway."

The game continued.

After Shirogane and Shinomiya finished their dice rolls, it was Fujiwara's turn.

She rolled a 3 and landed on a random event tile.

"Oh, it's the childbirth tile."

"Huh? What's that?"

"It means giving birth," Ishigami explained, reading from the rulebook. "Players who are married will have a child when landing on the childbirth tile. The remaining players this round must each pay a 100,000 yen gift. But later on, each child will incur a 'child support' cost every turn."

"Oh... So that means..."

Rinji turned his head to look at Fujiwara, who was smiling happily.

"I have a kid with this woman?"

"Eh hehe~ I didn't think I'd become a mom at this age~"

Seeing the smile on Fujiwara's face, the others felt she was a little too into the game.

Not that Shirogane and Kaguya had any right to judge.

Worth mentioning, Rinji, due to getting married three times, had already received three gift payments. Including the childbirth event, that made four gifts in total.

The only one who hadn't paid a single yen was Ishigami. From the start of the game, he had been landing on misfortune tiles nonstop and hadn't made any money at all.

After the chatter died down, it was Rinji's turn to roll again.

"..."

"What's wrong, Rinji-kun? Roll the dice," Fujiwara urged.

She curiously watched as Rinji stared blankly at the dice.

"I was thinking... what should I name my son?"

Kaguya said, "You do realize this is just a game, and we don't even know the child's gender."

"Of course it's a strong boy like me."

"No... what do you mean 'like you'?"

Just then, Rinji's expression turned serious.

"Now that I have a kid, I can't fool around anymore."

"Oh~ what a manly thing to say," Fujiwara giggled from the side. "As expected of my husband. You'll make a great dad~"

"I said this is just a game."

Rinji threw the dice, and it landed on a lucky tile.

His company received an investment, adding 500 million yen.

"Alright, we've got formula money now."

"What kind of baby formula costs that much?"

Rinji, now immersed in the game and determined to be a good father, had given up intentionally aiming for misfortune tiles for crazy plays.

You could say all the student council members were deeply immersed in the game.

Fujiwara was always into it, and Rinji, after "having a child," wanted to be a good father. Meanwhile, Shirogane and Kaguya were both searching for marriage tiles, each hoping the other would land on one so they could marry.

The only one still out of sync was Ishigami.

He kept landing on misfortune tiles—car crashes, muggings, even a trip to jail (skipping three turns). He hadn't achieved anything and had the lowest funds, sitting at zero.

His game experience was miserable.

When the round ended, it was Rinji's turn again.

Another lucky tile—his child received an offer from a prestigious school.

"Hmm, looks like I'll have to personally raise this kid."

"Wait."

As soon as Rinji said that, Fujiwara grabbed his shoulder.

"A child should definitely be raised by me. I have more love and care than you, Rinji-kun."

Though it was just a game, her maternal instinct suddenly went into overdrive at those words.

"You idiot, what love? Can you raise him to be a real man?"

"I don't trust you to raise him properly, Rinji-kun."

"What's there not to trust? I'll raise him better than you. I don't want my son turning out like you."

"No, it should be me."

"Me."

"..."

Kaguya: "...Do you guys even realize this is just a game?"

Two people arguing over the custody of an imaginary, non-existent child. It was kind of impressive.

Shirogane looked at Fujiwara and Rinji, and for some reason, got a strange sense of déjà vu.

It didn't feel like a husband and wife arguing—it felt like two moms fighting over custody.

As the game continued, the group entered the "retirement zone."

Ishigami, who had been barely hanging on since the beginning, finally died upon entering.

He had landed on a serious illness misfortune tile and then rolled only a 1 the next turn. Gloriously became a corpse.

"What a trash game."

"Being able to consistently land on the worst possible tiles… Ishigami is kind of amazing in his own way."

Aside from Ishigami's mid-game death, the rest of the group completed the game.

Final money rankings:

1st – Rinji

2nd – Shinomiya Kaguya

3rd – Shirogane Miyuki

4th – Fujiwara Chika

As the game ended, Shirogane and Kaguya sighed.

They never landed on the marriage tile, and ended the game alone.

Only Rinji and Fujiwara lived a happy married life.

"My child turned out healthy thanks to me."

"No, that's my doing."

Of course, their "married life" wasn't exactly the most stable.