Macho Man Doesn't want a Slice-of-Life

"The president and... Rinji-kun... m-married!?"

Fujiwara glanced at Shirogane, then at Rinji. Her expression was practically glowing.

Rinji stared at her and silently placed a roll of tissues on the table in front of her.

"Secretary Fujiwara, you might want to wipe that nosebleed."

"Oh, thanks..."

Fujiwara took the tissue and wiped her nose. Sure enough, she hadn't even noticed it was bleeding.

But really, who could blame her? The image of Shirogane and Rinji "getting married" was just too stimulating.

"Secretary Fujiwara... are you screwing with me?"

"Huh? No way."

"I mean, marrying Shinomiya was already bad enough. Failed marriages happen, fine, but..."

At this point, a dangerous gleam appeared in Rinji's eyes.

"Why the hell am I marrying a man? Didn't the game developers think to include a gender setting?"

"Rinji-kun."

Fujiwara, now with tissues stuffed up her nostrils, put on a solemn expression.

"The times have changed."

"Go to hell."

Rinji looked absolutely disgusted. Shirogane looked just as miserable.

He glanced sideways at Rinji.

'Rinji is so gentle—but he's a guy. He's prettier than most girls—even Kaguya is probably jealous—but he's a guy. He's an amazing cook, trusts me completely, has insane feminine charm—but damn it, he's still a guy!'

Leaving Shirogane and Rinji aside, Kaguya was now in a state of full-blown panic.

'The president... married someone else!? No, calm down—it's just a game. Rinji's a guy. This is just one of those weird comedic tropes games use. Yeah, it's just for fun.'

She took a deep breath and tried to regain her poise.

'Hmph. I'm a proud Shinomiya. I won't lose my composure over a silly board game. It's just a gag. Just imagine... the president marrying Rinji in a wedding dress...'

She tried to conjure up a silly image to push away her anxiety.

But then—

'Why doesn't it feel wrong!? Where's the sense of wrongness!?'

She imagined Rinji in a wedding gown... and it actually worked in her head. And standing beside him, Shirogane looked... oddly fitting too.

'No! This isn't real!!'

"Kaguya-san, are you alright?"

Fujiwara looked over at her with concern.

Kaguya's expression had gone through several transformations, but now she looked completely hollowed out.

"No... I'm fine. Life is truly full of surprises..."

"Alright then, let's keep playing."

Fujiwara continued.

"According to the rules, whenever someone gets married, the rest must pay a wedding gift... Kaguya-san, it's in-game money. Put your real wallet away!"

Seeing Kaguya take out her wallet, Fujiwara quickly stopped her.

Kaguya rolled next and got a big funding boost, increasing her company's value by 5 billion yen, surpassing Rinji. But her forced smile showed she felt no joy at all.

After Ishigami and Fujiwara rolled, it was Rinji's turn.

He leaned toward Shirogane and whispered, "This game is way too gay. Let's just land on a divorce tile and end this."

"Agreed."

Shirogane looked at the board. Theoretically, any "Unlucky" tile could trigger a divorce event. There were two Unlucky tiles in front of Rinji—both could be it, or neither. It all depended on luck.

"It's all you now, Rinji."

"Got it."

Rinji shook the die in his hand and tossed it.

Three. He landed on an Unlucky Space.

Fujiwara flipped the card and exclaimed, "Oh! Husband has an affair. That can trigger a divorce!"

Rinji & Shirogane: "Why would I cheat!?"

Both naturally saw themselves as the "husband."

It was Rinji's job to roll again. According to the rules, rolling 4 or below would trigger the event successfully.

With his uncanny die control, Rinji easily tossed out a 1. Divorce successful.

"Wow, Rinji-kun got married and divorced at lightning speed twice now!" Fujiwara grinned wickedly.

"Nice. Your tabletop gaming club's budget for next semester? Gone."

"Eh!?"

Shirogane breathed a small sigh of relief, then looked up—only to see Kaguya giving him a flowery smile.

"Oh my, president's divorced already? How unfortunate."

"My misfortune really brings you that much joy?"

After Rinji rolled, it was Kaguya, then Fujiwara and Ishigami. The game seemed to return to normal.

But before two rounds passed, chaos struck again.

Fujiwara rolled two consecutive sixes and caught up. On her next turn, she rolled yet another six...

She landed on a Marriage Space.

"Why are there so many marriage tiles in this game!? Are you all that desperate!?"

"Love is humanity's eternal theme~"

"Even if you phrase it so nobly, Fujiwara, it doesn't cover up the game's clear design flaws," Rinji muttered, glancing at the board. "So who's closest to you... crap, it's me again."

Thanks to her catching up, Fujiwara was 3 spaces from Shirogane, 5 from Kaguya, 7 from Ishigami, and just 2 from Rinji.

He was the closest.

"Eh hehe~ I'm getting married too~"

Fujiwara giggled and leaned against Rinji.

Even though it was a game, she couldn't help but daydream about being a bride one day.

As for Rinji...

The man forced to "marry" for the third time was already calculating the nearest divorce tile.

What he didn't know was that Ishigami had been reading the game manual throughout the game. He wanted to see if there were any mechanics that could be improved.

And in doing so, he made a discovery.

Since this was the "Happy Life Game," the probability of bad events was low (though he didn't know why he kept triggering them). The lucky, random, and unlucky event ratio was 3:7:2, and there were only two divorce-triggering Unlucky cards.

Rinji had already hit both of them.

Meaning...

There were no more divorce options left.