Macho Man Doesn't want a Slice-of-Life

"Rinji, have you cooled down a bit?"

"More or less."

Rinji sat back on the sofa. Tanuma, who'd nearly been tossed out the window, sat across from him gasping for air.

"Let me make one thing clear. The reason I haven't taken the final step isn't because I can't. It's because I take responsibility seriously. Lightweights like you wouldn't get that."

Rinji said righteously.

"Y-yeah… I understand."

"Good. Anyway, you just came here to show off your relationship, right?" Rinji nodded. "I get how it feels to want to brag when you're in love. But now that you're done, go home."

"Yeah… I got carried away this time."

Tanuma lowered his head.

"I just thought, since Nagisa and I got so close over the summer, I wanted to share that happiness with others."

[Ishigami & Shirogane: 'All we felt was pain, you bastard.']

"Yeah, I get that too. When something makes you happy, it's hard to keep it to yourself."

Rinji nodded approvingly.

[Ishigami & Shirogane: 'He's gone too…']

What followed was Rinji and Tanuma exchanging relationship tips.

Since both of them were new to dating and still in the honeymoon phase, they mostly talked about sweet experiences. Shirogane and Ishigami, the two singles, found themselves trapped in an awkward silence.

"President."

"What is it, Ishigami?"

Having no way to insert themselves into the conversation, the two whispered to each other.

"Don't you think if Rinji hadn't gotten a girlfriend this summer, and this bastard came here to brag, things would've gone differently?"

"Well…"

———[Shirogane Miyuki's Imagination]———

Tanuma: "Hey everyone, did you get a girlfriend over summer break?"

Rinji: "No."

Tanuma, shocked: "Why not? Don't you get lonely?"

Bang!

Rinji pulls a gun from his pocket and fires straight at Tanuma's head.

Standing over the body, he says, "Why didn't you dodge? Aren't you afraid of dying?"

———[End Imagination]———

"No no no, Rinji's not that cruel… What am I even thinking?"

Shirogane shook his head to clear the image from his mind.

They glanced again at the still-chatting Rinji and Tanuma and could easily infer the current status of their relationships.

Rinji was in a wholesome romance and hadn't gone beyond first base.

As for Tanuma…

"President, that bastard already made it to home plate."

"…As much as I hate to admit it, that's fast. It's only been one summer."

They both lowered their heads.

Neither of them had made any romantic progress at all during the break.

Shirogane at least spent ten days as a bank president and expanded his network, so he didn't come away empty-handed.

Ishigami, though, had just spent the whole summer playing video games.

It was fun, sure, but if every summer break kept going like that, the gap between them would become painfully obvious in a few years.

"Ahhh, feels good to get that all out."

Tanuma leaned back into the couch and laughed.

"Yeah, but… didn't it ever cross your mind to share your joy with classmates or friends? Why'd you have to come to the student council?"

Rinji asked.

[Ishigami & Shirogane: 'Exactly. What does your love life have to do with us? Acting like we're close or something.']

Actually, Shirogane was in the same class—2-B—as Tanuma, but he really didn't feel like acknowledging that right now.

"Well… I originally planned to do that."

Tanuma looked a little down.

"I tried talking to two guys I'm pretty close to in class about me and Nagisa, but they looked super annoyed and said things like 'Why the hell are you showing off?' and 'Say one more word and I'll kill you.' They were really mean."

[Ishigami & Shirogane: 'Whoever they are, respect.']

The two silently gave a thumbs-up to those mystery students.

Rinji: "That's pretty sad."

[Ishigami & Shirogane: 'No, not sad at all.']

"So now, the only ones I can share this with are you guys in the student council. Luckily, you all have really good tempers!" Tanuma laughed brightly.

Unaware that both Shirogane and Ishigami were seconds away from punching him.

"Sharing with guys clearly won't work. Try talking to some of your female friends instead."

Rinji raised a finger.

"But don't go telling that classmate Shijo Maki. You know her, right? It's dangerous to tell her about your love life with Kashiwagi… I've met her once before, can't give details."

Rinji remembered when Shijo Maki, who was distantly related to Kaguya, came to the student council for advice. She had a thing for Tanuma, even though he already had a girlfriend.

If he started bragging about his relationship in front of her, Rinji could already picture the mountain of tissues it would cost.

"Maki, huh… She's good friends with Nagisa. I think Nagisa talks about me to her every day." Tanuma thought for a moment. "She doesn't seem to have a problem with it."

"Oh? What's her reaction when Kashiwagi talks about you two?"

"No change in expression. Same old smile. If something funny comes up, she just says, 'That's hilarious.'"

Tanuma recalled the summer.

"I see. Got it."

Rinji nodded.

From what Tanuma described, it seemed Shijo Maki had managed to let go of her feelings and could face the couple without flinching.

Looked like Rinji's past advice to her actually worked.

"Then no problem. Feel free to share your story with her. I'm sure she'll sincerely bless your relationship."

"Really?"

Tanuma stood up and thanked Rinji.

"Thanks again, student council. I'll head back to class now."

"Yeah, go on."

Totally unaware that someone was about to get hurt again, Rinji saw him off cheerfully.