Macho Man Doesn't want a Slice-of-Life

At lunchtime, Rinji and Ishigami ignored their clingy classmates and headed to the student council room.

Eating lunch in the council room had basically become an unspoken rule for the members.

When they opened the door, they saw Shirogane Miyuki sitting on the reception couch. Kaguya Shinomiya and Chika Fujiwara weren't there yet.

Instead, there was a student with dyed hair and an earring.

"Ishigami, and Rinji, you're here?"

"Yeah."

"Good afternoon, President."

They sat on the sofa. Ishigami opened his bento box, while Rinji, as always, unwrapped a red bean bun for lunch.

"President."

Rinji turned to Shirogane and asked,

"Do we need to recalculate this quarter's club funding?"

"OB donations haven't arrived yet. No rush on that."

"Got it."

Rinji nodded and then glanced at the smiling boy with the dyed hair.

"Who's this flashy guy?"

"Eh? Rinji, you already forgot me?"

The boy put on a mock-hurt face, then scratched his head and grinned.

"I came to you for advice before—Tanuma Tsubasa~"

"…Oh, it's you."

Indeed, it was Tanuma Tsubasa, who had once consulted the student council about how to date his classmate, Kashiwagi Nagisa. That was about three months ago.

"Thanks to you and the President, I was able to get a girlfriend," Tanuma beamed at both of them.

Rinji: "Oh, no problem."

Shirogane: "…Hmm, it's fine. But wait… how did you change so much in just one summer!?"

Before the break, Tanuma was a shy, ordinary guy. Now he had earrings and dyed hair. He had clearly gone through a transformation.

Not just in appearance—his tone and behavior were more flamboyant now.

"Eh? Did I change? I don't think so."

Tanuma casually brushed his dyed hair.

"President, you're the real star. Everyone in class has been talking about how you became a bank president."

"No… it's nothing."

Shirogane glanced at Rinji, sighed, and asked, "So, what did you come here to talk about today?"

"Love advice~"

"Love… advice?"

"Yup! I think of you as a romance guru~"

"…"

Looking at the cheerful Tanuma, Shirogane couldn't tell what sort of romantic problem he might have.

Ishigami stood up with his bento.

"I'll go eat somewhere else if it's gonna be a love talk…"

"No no, you stay. The more the merrier~"

"…"

Ishigami reluctantly sat back down. But his sharp eyes made it clear—he had figured it out.

Tanuma came here just to show off.

That bastard got a girlfriend and now wanted to flaunt it. This behavior…

Was exactly like Rinji's.

Shirogane stayed seated and watched the new version of Tanuma with narrowed eyes. He cleared his throat.

"So, what kind of advice do you need? You and Nagisa spent a lot of time together over break, right? Everything going smoothly?"

"Smooth… hmm…"

Tanuma rubbed the back of his head and put on a smug smile.

"It went okay."

"…"

"How do I put it… the summer flew by, and our relationship is going really well," he grinned again. "So now I'm wondering what to do next~ That's why I came to you."

Snap!

Shirogane and Ishigami both felt something break inside.

They realized it. This bastard was 100% here just to brag.

Ishigami whispered to Shirogane, "President, can I punch him? That smug face is just begging to be hit."

"Calm down, Ishigami."

Shirogane really wanted to strangle the guy with the tissue roll on the table, but he told himself to stay composed.

"President, this guy came here just to kill all us singles. Let's take him out first."

"Chill out. Look at Rinji. Even someone who used to tell people to break up is staying calm. If he can do it, so can you."

They both looked at Rinji.

He had his head lowered, expression hidden. Then he looked up at Tanuma with a calm and serene smile.

"Yeah, I get what you're saying."

Ishigami: "President, did you forget? Rinji has a girlfriend now. He's already one of them. A filthy traitor!"

Shirogane: "Eh? No way…"

He stared at Rinji, whose face was like a monk's—peaceful and kind.

"…"

Rinji smiled at Tanuma and said, "Congrats, Tanuma. Being happy with your girlfriend is a wonderful thing."

"Hahaha, I knew you'd understand!"

"Of course."

In the student council room, the two who had girlfriends were chatting excitedly, while the two single guys sat in silence.

They couldn't get a word in.

Rinji and Tanuma's smug, love-filled expressions were causing real damage.

"President, let's retreat," Ishigami whispered. "We're being hunted by two relationship-flexing normies."

"Let's wait a bit longer."

Shirogane replied calmly.

"With how smug Tanuma's acting, Rinji will probably snap soon anyway."

"Huh?"

The scene returned to the two happily chatting boys.

"Summer break was really fulfilling. Holding hands with my girlfriend while watching the sunset was amazing~" Rinji said with a smile.

"Holding hands, huh? That's nice. Did you go further? Like, kiss?"

"Well… kind of."

Rinji recalled the time he got surprise-kissed by Karura.

"How many times?"

"Once."

"Just that?"

"Yeah. What else did you expect?"

Seeing Tanuma Tsubasa's exaggeratedly surprised expression, Rinji looked confused.

"Nothing… just, no other progress?"

"Huh? We already kissed. What more do you want?"

"I see," Tanuma said, putting on a dramatic expression.

"Well, I'm really sorry then."

Rinji's smile finally faded.

"Hey, you punk, what's with that face?"

Still oblivious, Tanuma continued, "Well, I mean, Rinji's thinking is surprisingly cute, kind of old-fashioned like an old man. I thought you'd be way more aggressive. My bad."

"…"

Feeling mocked, Rinji said nothing. He stood from the couch under everyone's confused gazes, walked over to the window, opened it wide, then returned and grabbed Tanuma by the collar.

"You like showing off, huh? I'll show you the ICU!"

"Whoa whoa whoa!! I'm gonna die!!"

"Rinji! Calm down!"