Lunar Shadows: Awaken

Kyran

Our conversation trailed late into the morning, Felagi was extremely impressed and grateful when Kyrre arrived with the bracelets. She demonstrated how it works and Felagi insisted on trying it on himself, much to all of our amusement. He had asked more about the people involved with the bracelet’s creation and I begrudgingly explained Vala and her betrayal to me—to my entire pack, really. This led into the events with Sigurd and Felagi had many colorful words to express on that matter. We talked about the vampire attacks some more and he had just excused himself to make a phone call after I discussed pertinent details about Caedes with him.

I’m rolling the braided strands of the bracelet Kyrre gave me for Selene between my fingers when Trey drapes a shirt over my bare shoulder. Sliding it into my pocket, I pull on the black tee and turn to face my brother. He smiles easily at me, but I can tell there’s something weighing on his mind by the set of his shoulders and the tightness in his eyes.

“What, Trey?” I ask gruffly and sigh, rubbing a hand over my face. “I’m sorry, I’m beyond exhausted after what I went through yesterday. Well, the past few days, actually, now that I think of it,” I sigh, dropping my hand with a slight groan.

He nods his head slightly before narrowing his eyes. “I was going to ask you about that,” he says lowly, shifting his weight on his feet.

He clearly wants to say more but isn’t sure how and I try to decide if I should just lay it all out there or not. My brother nods toward the hall and we make our way out back into our mother’s gardens. Neither of us speaks until we reach her favorite bench and we carefully take a seat. Treyvar looks at me with concern and for the first time today, I notice the dark circles that line his eyes.

“What happened, Kyran? The last time I heard from you before this morning was when we separated after eradicating Caedes’ vamp nest the other night. I know it was a lot to take on, especially after Sigurd and all the shit involved with him, but for you to look like this? You haven’t been in this condition since…” his voice trails off as he quickly glances away, twisting his lips to the side.

“Since the Underground, I know. I know what you mean. And to answer your next question, no, I did not go there. I don’t ever want to be there—be a part of that—again,” I growl, my hand clenching automatically at the memory of the brutal fights that make up a large portion of my past life. Relaxing my hand on a measured breath, I run it through my hair and meet my brother’s gaze once more.

“What happened?” he repeats his question, this time more solidly.

“Honestly, Trey, I have been living in agony inside my mind since I came of age. I never wanted to show it and did all I could, every single day, to keep that part of me hidden from everyone around me. Our father—” I correct my thoughts at the sharp look Trey gives me at the mention of him, “he was…very hard on me and it took a toll, slowly hollowing me out until I did not recognize myself. I was made of rage, hatred, pain, and a cold nothingness that numbed me entirely. This is something I’ve dealt with silently and has taken me until only a few years ago to just be able to begin to overcome, let alone even try,” I sigh heavily, rubbing a hand over my face.

Treyvar lets out a breath before quietly commenting, “You haven’t spoken of him in a very long time.”

“Since I killed him, you mean,” I say flatly, leaning back onto the bench and sliding my hand into my pocket.

I grasp the bracelet for Selene in the silence that stretches between us, wondering if she has woken yet and how she is doing. I hope she’s alright, I worry as Trey sits back as well and clasps his hands in his lap.

Kyran, Valdr’s voice cuts through my thoughts.

Before I can respond, my brother blurts, “I don’t blame you or hold resentment over what happened, and neither does Kyrre. I hope you know that, Kyran. Honestly. It really hurts to hear you’ve been in such pain most of your life, I don’t know the exact details of what he put you through but I understand enough and it’s fucking bullshit that you had to go through that, and to do it alone…I’m sorry. I am really sorry. If I had known—”

“Nothing would have been different,” I cut him off, “shit happens and life moves on. You just gotta learn how to deal with it. I couldn’t learn, or better yet, I refused to, and suffered the consequences of it. It wasn’t really until Selene came into my life that I fully acknowledged to myself that I can either choose to take the burdens of my past with me or lay them to rest and move on. It was because of her that I was finally able to let it all go,” I say quietly, rolling the bracelet between my fingers once more as I stare blankly at the ground.

I glance at my brother and his brows raise silently as he processes everything I just said. I’m surprised to find that I don’t feel awkward about being open with him like this and a ghost of a smile pulls at my mouth. He asks me questions about last night and our father, remarks on my ability to maintain position as alpha and hold it respectably with everything I’ve endured. I thank him for his understanding and brush off his praise, the only thing that actually makes me uncomfortable in all of this. I chose not to discuss Selene’s experiences because I felt that they were not mine to share and the thought of her makes me pull out my phone once our conversation comes to a lull.

Checking the screen, I find a text from Kyrre about the pack meeting, along with a notification on my calendar for a scheduled delivery later this afternoon and am a little bummed to not have heard from Selene yet. Sighing, I put my phone away and rise to my feet. Trey follows suit and rubs at his arm briefly before huffing out a breath.

“I know we don’t do this, but I love you,” he rushes out the words and claps a quick one-armed hug around my shoulders.

I chuckle and snag his arm as he pulls away, tugging him back toward me and hold him tight for a moment before giving him a light pat. I release him with a light toned, “I love you too, baby boy,” and laugh at the appalled look he gives me.

Growing up, I used to tease Trey about the way our mother would talk to him in a singsong voice and it feels good to be able to be so lighthearted with him once more. He gives me a small shove and I shove back harder, making him stumble a bit. Just as he is about to push it further, Kyrre’s bright voice rings out from the doorway.

“If you two are finished being cute, we have a few cranky elders waiting in the great hall for us,” she laughs with a warm smile.

Trey dramatically clears his throat, “We were just discussing sports,” he says seriously and ducks just as I’m about to push at the back of his head. His eyes crinkle with his laugh and I grin at him as the three of us make our way to the meeting.

After the arduous task of staying conscious during the pack meeting, I mindlink Jeger to let him know of his new role as head warrior. He thanks me for the honor and swore to never let me down, to which I let him know it was never a concern of mine. I delegated the task of delivery acceptance to Trey and ask Kyrre to meet with people to begin making arrangements for housing the wolves from the five other packs during the Convocation. I decide mid-afternoon that a nap was better than passing out in public and slept through until dusk.

Sitting at my desk, I spin my phone around in circles as I consider sending Selene another text. I’m becoming concerned since I have not heard from her today and it has been thirteen hours since I left her place, she must be awake by now. Tapping my screen, I open her messages and begin typing, only to find my last two texts from this morning have been read. My brow creases as I wonder why she didn’t respond and I erase what I had been saying. Re-typing, I tell her that I hope she is alright and if she needs anything to please let me know. I hesitate a moment before pressing send, having an insecure thought that she might feel I’m being incessant. Sighing, I drop my phone onto the desk and sit back in my chair, lacing my fingers behind my head.

Kyran, Valdr’s voice jolts me from my thoughts and I sit upright at his sudden presence.

Wha—I begin to respond when my landline blares loudly, cutting me off. That phone is only used between alphas and I snag it off the receiver immediately, clearing my throat before I answer. “Alpha Castian,” I greet plainly, noting the caller ID, “is everything alright?”

“Alpha Kyran, yes, things are fine. Well, as good as they can be, all things considered,” his tired voice crackles over the line and I find myself nodding my head. “I’m calling to ask you if it would be possible for my pack to arrive a few days early for the Convocation? My mate is pregnant and I’d like to give her extra time for travel and getting situated before the celebration begins.”

My eyebrows raise at the news and I quickly reply, “Yes, of course, that will not be an issue. Congratulations, by the way! That’s big news,” I smile genuinely.

It is not often females have successful pregnancies in the past few hundred years, so I understand his concern in regards to his mate. “I am more than happy to accommodate Mira as much as she needs. When should I be expecting you?” I ask, sliding a paper over with notes for the coming week scratched on it and pick up a pen.

“In two days time, we are already on our way, though we’re moving slowly. I cannot thank you enough,” his voice is relieved as he audibly sighs.

We make small talk for a couple minutes and I bid him safe travels before placing the phone back on the receiver. Castian and I have been amicable since he became alpha of the South Eastern Region pack one hundred and fifty years ago after his father had died unexpectedly. He is a good man, even-tempered and neutral when it comes to the egos the other alphas tend to carry. I find myself actually looking forward to meeting with him and his mate this year, now that I have Selene with me, their sickly-sweet affections for one another won’t make me want to drown myself in liquor like all the other Convocations I’ve had to endure. I decide that other than Felagi, they will be some of the first people I introduce her to once the celebrations begin. The bonding of an alpha female is a huge cause for revelry within each pack and I feel excitement growing at the thought of announcing it this year, especially in my own territory. I’ll have to order a special cake, just for her, I think happily, jotting down the idea on my overfilled paper.

Kryan! Valdr’s sharp voice sends a pang through my head and I wince a little, dropping my pen.

Valdr, what the fuck? I begin to berate him, but he cuts me off quickly.

It’s Selene. Something is wrong, I’ve felt Luna’s distress since this morning. Although I cannot communicate directly with her, I know they aren’t well, his rough voice cuts through me like a hot knife.

Shit! I’m on my feet and out the door before my thought has finished, why didn’t you fucking say anything sooner? I lash out as rising fear pushes my anger aside and my heart starts racing.

I tried, he responds curtly, twice.

Fuck! I burst out the back door and immediately shift, knowing that running would be twice as fast as driving. Fuck fuck fuck! My mind reels with possible scenarios and I push my legs to their limit.

I mindlink my brother quickly, Trey! I need to get to Selene, something has come up. Take over my office for the night, I’ll get back to you when I can, my words rush out of my mind, quickly adding, thank you. Unease weighs heavily in my chest as I sprint through the forest faster than I’ve ever run before with my heart clenched in a vice the entire way.