Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

After mastering the Rasenshuriken, Naruto Uzumaki slipped out of the Forest of Death and used the Transformation Jutsu to disguise himself.

He went looking for Ichiro Yamamoto—the same grocery store owner who had once pushed him around.

Taking advantage of the chaos in the village, Naruto gave Ichiro a thorough beating, then raided his shop. From it, he stole a white fox mask and a long, black cloak.

Fully disguised, Naruto quietly made his way toward the Sarutobi clan's estate.

With the village at war, even a prominent clan like the Sarutobi had only a handful of shinobi left behind. It wasn't difficult to slip past them and reach the outskirts of the lavish family compound belonging to the Third Hokage's bloodline.

At that moment, inside the compound's courtyard, two Sarutobi clan members were releasing Sarutobi Asuma from house arrest.

Asuma looked rough. Days of confinement had taken their toll. His hair and beard had grown out, and he looked worn and tired.

"Lord Asuma," the two clan members greeted him with respectful bows.

"What's the situation now?" Asuma asked, glancing toward the chaos beyond the walls—the giant snake and Shukaku tearing through Konoha. His expression darkened. "And what about the old man?"

"The Sand Village joined forces with the Sound Ninja and several smaller villages to launch a surprise attack," one of the Sarutobi clan members reported. "The Third Hokage is currently trapped inside a barrier atop a tower in the Forest of Death. We don't know what's happening inside."

Asuma's eyes narrowed. He gave them a sharp look and said, "Rally the clan. Head to the Forest of Death and ensure the Third's safety. I'll remain here to protect the compound."

"Lord Asuma!"

Their conversation was suddenly cut short as a masked ANBU operative burst into the courtyard.

All three men turned to face him.

The ANBU ninja bowed and reported, "The Third Hokage has neutralized the threat, but he's sustained heavy injuries and can no longer fight. He ordered me to tell you to lead the clan in surrounding and subduing Shukaku immediately. You must hurry."

It sounded plausible. The Third Hokage—old as he was—still commanded immense respect. Even severely injured, it wouldn't be surprising if he had taken down an enemy on his own.

And Shukaku… just by rampaging through the village, the giant beast was causing massive damage. It made sense that the Third would prioritize stopping it.

"Understood. Let's notify the others and move out together," Asuma nodded.

But as he passed by the masked ANBU to exit the courtyard, Asuma suddenly stopped.

In a flash, he drew his chakra blade and lunged.

"You damn impostor! I saw through your disguise the moment I laid eyes on you—die!"

With a roar, Asuma plunged the blade into the ANBU's neck—but a second later, the figure burst into a cloud of smoke.

A shadow clone.

"Tch."

Asuma's eyes darted around. He clenched his jaw and barked, "Fan out! Search the area—he couldn't have gone far!"

With that, the three Sarutobi clan members disappeared, each heading in a different direction.

Once they were all out of sight, a different figure silently crept into the courtyard.

Dressed in ANBU gear and holding his breath, Naruto Uzumaki moved carefully.

He was here to find the Third Hokage's secret room.

Just as he was tiptoeing across the yard, a sudden whoosh sliced through the air. Naruto reacted instantly, leaping forward five or six meters.

Boom!

A massive gouge tore through the ground where he'd just been standing.

Asuma—clearly not fooled—had returned for a surprise attack.

From above, Asuma formed hand seals mid-air and blew a thick, grayish cloud down toward Naruto.

"Fire Style: Ash Pile Burning!"

Damn!

This bearded guy's actually kind of awesome.

Naruto vanished with the Body Flicker Technique, darting into the shadows. He didn't dare use the Nine-Tails' chakra—not unless he wanted to blow his cover.

"Intruder! You're not escaping!" Asuma roared, chasing after him.

But moments later, another Naruto quietly crawled over the compound wall.

This time, he didn't even sneak—he just walked casually across the courtyard like it was his own home.

After two full minutes of checking every corner, and seeing no one return, the real Naruto tiptoed toward the main building of the Sarutobi estate.

That's right—every Naruto that had appeared until now was just a shadow clone.

Shadow clones really were one of the best tools in his arsenal. Unless someone had a unique ability to tell real from fake, they were practically impossible to distinguish.

And the best part? Chakra consumption didn't matter.

Because if there was one thing Naruto Uzumaki had plenty of—it was chakra.

Following the rough map he'd memorized, Naruto made his way into the Third Hokage's personal quarters.

The room was bare—aside from a low writing table, a few cushions, and several hanging scrolls of calligraphy and art.

The simplicity of the space stood in stark contrast to the massive compound outside. Anyone else might've admired the room as a symbol of humility and discipline.

See?

Even the great Third Hokage lives modestly—just a humble elder serving the village. A paragon of justice. A moral pillar.

But of course, that wasn't the full truth.

Because this room held a secret.

Naruto's shadow clone walked over to a scroll bearing the phrase "Will of Fire" and pulled it aside.

Nothing.

But then the clone pressed a hand against the wall.

Click.

A soft grinding sound filled the air.

Back in the center of the room, the floor beneath the writing table began to shift.

The clone quickly moved the table out of the way as the wooden floor slowly descended—revealing a two-meter-wide hidden passage.

The clone dropped in first, followed closely by Naruto himself.

Apparently, the Third Hokage hadn't bothered installing any traps—perhaps believing his reputation alone was enough to protect the room. The path was unguarded, straight down into the depths.

The only issue was the pitch-black darkness.

Naruto squinted.

Damn. Should've grabbed a lantern from that old Ichiro's shop too.

No choice.

He summoned another shadow clone. Both clones formed Rasengan—using the glowing chakra spheres as makeshift flashlights.

Improvised torchlight: Activated.

What the Rasengan illuminated, however, was… disappointing.

There was nothing here but a single enormous jar.

No treasure, no scrolls, no forbidden jutsu—just a dull, empty underground space.

Naruto frowned.

"That's it? You've got to be kidding me."

"This old man went through all that trouble building a secret chamber, and all I get is… a big pot?"

He stared at the massive container. It was roughly a meter wide and two meters long—too big to even fit into the bags he'd brought.

"…No. I came all this way—I refuse to leave empty-handed."

"If I walk out of here with nothing, this'll have been a total loss."

Grumbling, Naruto opened one of his large sacks and stepped up to the vat, intending to scoop out whatever was inside.

But as he got closer, he froze.

His expression twisted in disgust.

Inside the vat were no scrolls, no treasures—just three pairs of eyeballs.

Two pairs of Sharingan, each with fully-formed three-tomoe.

And one pair of Byakugan.

"…What the actual hell?!"

Naruto took an involuntary step back, his stomach turning.

"I didn't think the old man was the type…"

"Who would've guessed… the Third Hokage was a collector of eyeballs?"