Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

The evening clouds slowly faded as the setting sun hung low on the horizon. A gentle breeze lifted the hem of Naruto's clothes and brushed through his golden hair.

With his sleeve raised to half-cover a smile he could barely suppress, Naruto looked like he had just stormed out in anger—his expression sad, his posture lonely, his exit dramatic.

But in reality?

Naruto was laughing as he ran.

He could only imagine how dumbfounded the "Prince of Konoha," Asuma Sarutobi, must be right now, having just been hit with such a wild accusation out of nowhere.

Man, it feels great playing the victim and shifting the blame from the moral high ground.

As for whether Asuma would be angry or not, Naruto honestly didn't care. If he was mad, let him stew in it. That would just add to the entertainment.

If Asuma wanted to blame someone, he could start with his old man—the Third Hokage himself. Naruto wasn't about to cross the Third directly, so taking it out on his son and grandson seemed like the safer option.

Because make no mistake, Hiruzen Sarutobi was not some kind-hearted elder. That man could be ruthless. Unless you were 100% sure you could win, you'd be crazy to make him your enemy.

A shady, calculating old man—that's what he was.

Claiming to "protect" Naruto by hiding his parentage, while conveniently letting everyone in the village know he was the Nine-Tails Jinchūriki?

Please.

Back before the Uchiha massacre, the Third knew all about the tension between Danzo and the Uchiha clan, but played dumb. Then the second Itachi wiped out his people, the Third pounced—shutting down Danzo's operations and stripping him of power.

Compared to the Third Hokage, even Danzo—Konoha's resident scheming rat—was a powerless, pathetic thing that could never truly flip the table.

Even Uchiha Itachi, the infamous traitor, had once been an Anbu under the Third's direct command. Are we really supposed to believe the Hokage had no clue about what was going on?

Come on.

This man was called the "Professor" of the shinobi world. Even without Anbu, he had countless methods for gathering intel.

Including that creepy Telescope Jutsu of his, which let him spy on people from a distance.

Naruto had long been tormented by that jutsu. There was always this eerie feeling that some old voyeur was staring at him day and night.

Shivers.

Honestly? Naruto hoped Orochimaru showed up soon and caused some chaos.

Just as he was daydreaming, a familiar sound echoed in his mind:

[Ding! Congratulations, host. You have completed Objective One. Reward: (Uchiha Sako — Simulated Plastic Model) has been successfully issued. Would you like to receive it now?]

"…?"

Naruto blinked, then silently answered in his heart: "Not yet. I'll check it out later at home."

He still didn't know if the model would be delivered straight to his door or what. Best to wait and experiment in private.

But that raised a question: Why did I just get the reward for Objective One?The mission shouldn't be completed yet… unless—

Wait.

Sasuke… did he leave too?

Come to think of it, Naruto had used the word "orphan" quite a few times in his dramatic speech earlier. That must've hit a nerve for Sasuke, who shared the same pain.

If Sasuke had seen Naruto—another orphan—being scolded like that, it probably stirred something inside him. Enough to make him walk out too?

Curious, Naruto slowed to a stop and waited for a couple of minutes.

He didn't find Sasuke.

Instead, the person who came rushing over was Hinata.

She jogged toward him, panting softly as she approached. Naruto looked at her pale lavender eyes and asked, "Hinata, why'd you run over so fast?"

"I… I came to find you, Naruto-kun," she said, one hand pressed against the wall, chest rising and falling as she tried to catch her breath.

The cool evening breeze stirred gently, rustling Hinata's hair as it whispered past her ears.

"I'm fine," Naruto said, raising his hand to block the wind for her. "Did you come here alone?"

"Mm," Hinata nodded. "Everyone else went in other directions to search for you… I figured you might come to the place where I napped earlier, so I came here."

Her voice trailed off as it grew smaller, shy as ever. Especially in Naruto's presence. She couldn't even meet his gaze directly, lowering her head and fiddling with her fingers every time he looked her way.

"Naruto-kun… Asuma-sensei didn't mean to be so harsh…"

She peeked up slightly, her eyes hovering around his throat—particularly his barely-formed Adam's apple.

"…But everyone's worried about you. Let's go back, okay?"

There was something irresistibly sweet about how quiet and soft she was.

A smile flickered in Naruto's eyes as he reached out and gently ruffled her hair. It felt like petting a small, timid animal.

Hinata hunched down shyly, her face now completely red. Naruto had flustered her more times today than she could count.

"Na-Naruto-kun…" she mumbled like she was tipsy, swaying slightly on her feet.

Naruto figured he should stop there. If he kept going, the poor girl probably wouldn't be able to sleep tonight.

He pulled his hand back and looked up at the deep red glow of the sunset. The fading rays of light bathed both of their faces in a warm, reddish hue.

"Hinata," he said. "You've gotta get used to it."

"…Get used to what?" she asked.

"You dummy. Get used to me! Or else you'll keep blushing every time I talk to you."

"E-Eh…?"

Hinata's face turned an even deeper shade of crimson.

"See? You're doing it again." Naruto chuckled, teasing.

He turned and waved over his shoulder. "Anyway, go home early and be safe. I'm heading back to sleep. Bye!"

Hinata watched his back grow smaller in the distance, lips pressed together tightly. She didn't chase after him.

Instead, she raised her little hand and softly whispered, "Bye…"

—

When Hinata returned to Barbecue Q, only the three jōnin remained.

The rest had scattered to search for the Genin who had walked out earlier.

"Hinata, did you find them?" Kurenai asked first.

"No…" Hinata answered softly, not wanting to create more problems for Naruto if he didn't want to come back.

"Ugh…"

Yuhi Kurenai sighed, her gaze drifting toward Asuma, who sat a few seats away. Her expression darkened.

"Asuma, I really don't want to say more… but I honestly didn't expect you to treat a child like that."

"H-Hong, I was just thinking that you might be hungry…" Asuma tried to defend himself, but Kurenai cut him off coldly.

"I'm an adult. I don't need you to worry about whether I'm eating."

Her brows furrowed. "You made a mistake, and now you're trying to blame someone else? I'm seriously disappointed in you."

"…I'm sorry. It's my fault," Asuma said, slumping under the weight of her words. "I'll find a chance to apologize to Naruto."

"Poor Asuma. Getting led around by a woman," Kakashi muttered from the corner, never looking up from his adult novel. He sighed lightly.

Honestly, Naruto had played a pretty mean prank this time. But Kakashi had been with the kid for months—he knew Naruto wasn't the type to throw a tantrum for no reason.

Most likely, he was already annoyed and Asuma just happened to be the unlucky guy who got caught in the crossfire.

Still, Kakashi had no intention of stepping in.

After all, it wasn't like Asuma had invited him to dinner out of friendship. First, he said he'd "welcome" him back, then left Kakashi to handle the reservations, then changed the plan and had Kurenai invite all the Genin for a "class reunion."

And on top of that, he knew full well that Kakashi hated taking off his mask in public—and still insisted on inviting half the village to the dinner.

This wasn't hospitality. It was a setup.

A clumsy attempt to push him and Kurenai together.

"…"

Meanwhile, Naruto had just reached the crossroads near his house when someone stepped out to block his path.

She was tall and graceful, with flowing blonde hair and sharp lake-green eyes that were currently burning with a mix of irritation and jealousy.

"Uzumaki Naruto… you stingy jerk!" she snapped.