Konoha: Naruto's abnormal life choices

"Hey, Naruto."

"What are you doing? Why are you sitting so close to Kurenai-sensei?"

Haruno Sakura pursed her lips, puffed out her cheeks, and glared angrily at the spiky blond-haired Naruto Uzumaki, who was sitting far too close to Yuhi Kurenai for her comfort.

A seat away, Ino also wore a frosty expression.

And Hinata, who sat quietly at the far end of the table, silently ate her barbecue while glancing now and then toward Naruto and Kurenai—clearly unhappy.

Honestly, no one could blame them.

Naruto and Kurenai were practically glued together, their arms brushing occasionally with how close they sat.

Everyone else in the room was stunned. Was Naruto seriously doing this? This wasn't just bold—it was blatantly pushing boundaries.

And the strangest part?

Kurenai-sensei didn't even seem mad.

"Hmph~!"

Naruto, unfazed by everyone's stares, shrugged.

I'm just a kid anyway—what are they gonna do?

He looked up and met Sakura's eyes, his tone soft. "Kurenai-sensei is very kind… and beautiful."

There was an uncharacteristic shyness in his expression—something Sakura had never seen before. His usually mischievous face was serious, lit softly by the incandescent glow of the room, his blue eyes clean and sincere.

Kurenai's lips curved gently at the compliment.

Kids who are normally aloof and awkward are the ones who warm your heart with genuine words like this, she thought. Unconsciously, she straightened her posture slightly, and with a small smile, she placed two more pieces of meat onto Naruto's plate.

Good boy. Keep talking like that.

Sakura blinked, taken aback.

What the hell? Naruto knows how to compliment someone?And what's so great about Kurenai-sensei anyway?

Sakura clenched her fists. "Don't bother Kurenai-sensei! If you want barbecue, I'll serve it for you!"

Asuma, sitting nearby, gave Sakura a silent thumbs-up.

Nice one, Sakura! Pull him away! Even if that brat's just a kid, he's sitting way too close to Kurenai. It's irritating.

But unfortunately for Asuma, his hopes were destined to be crushed.

Naruto had zero interest in little girls.

Why bother with a "lil sis" when you could sit next to a full-grown, elegant, intellectual older woman?

Besides, Naruto was doing this precisely to get under Asuma's skin.

So, leave Kurenai? Not a chance.

He looked at Sakura coldly and replied flatly, "No."

Then, without hesitation, he added, "Honestly, I think food served by a dignified, graceful beauty like Kurenai-sensei tastes much better than anything you'd give me, Sakura."

Sakura's mouth twitched. "You're gonna make me explode one of these days."

"Then don't talk to me."

Naruto turned his attention back to Kurenai, giving her another sideways glance—this time lingering on her figure.

A slender tree bearing ripe fruit.Judging by that C-cup start, she's definitely top tier.

Let's hope that new talent works on Kurenai…

He picked up his now-empty plate and asked innocently, "Kurenai-sensei, I'm done eating. Could you give me some more?"

A strange pause filled the room.

Everyone's expressions shifted to something between speechless and confused.

Seriously? Naruto asked her to serve him more? It'd be one thing if Kurenai offered—but his hands were fully functional! He could grab his own meat like everyone else.

Sakura, Sasuke, and Kakashi all facepalmed in sync.

Kiba laughed silently to himself.

What a loser. Still can't even use chopsticks properly. He probably hasn't made any progress in training either.

Shikamaru looked thoughtful, Ino sulked, Shino stared off into space, and Choji took advantage of the distraction to gobble up more meat.

Only Hinata noticed something no one else did. She'd been focused on Naruto the whole time—and just now, she was almost sure he had glanced at Kurenai's chest.

Naruto-kun… is that the kind of woman you like?

Her pale cheeks turned bright pink. Embarrassed, she bowed her head and began stuffing food into her mouth at lightning speed, battling Shikamaru for every last bite.

"Sure," Kurenai replied with a soft laugh.

Without hesitation, she filled Naruto's plate again, generously loading it up with meat. They were sitting so close that contact was inevitable—Naruto's leg brushed against hers under the table, separated only by his pants.

But Kurenai didn't seem to mind at all.

Naruto couldn't help but admire just how effective the Evil Little Yellow Hair talent was.

This skill is incredible. Absolute gold mine. No complaints.

"Eat plenty," Kurenai said, gently tucking her hair behind her ear as she served him more.

She didn't quite know why, but she felt unusually affectionate toward Naruto. Maybe it was because he was cute. Maybe because he was charming. Or maybe, because compared to loudmouths like Kiba or idiots like Konohamaru, Naruto was refreshing.

Honestly… I'd rather have Naruto in my squad. Maybe I'll ask Kakashi for a trade.

"Thank you, Kurenai-sensei," Naruto replied sweetly. "If you became my girlfriend right now, I think I'd be willing to live an extra twenty years."

"…Shouldn't it be you'd die twenty years earlier?"

"Same thing," he said casually. "Don't get caught up in the details."

From this distance, Naruto caught a gentle whiff of Kurenai's scent. He wasn't sure if it was perfume or her natural fragrance, but either way—it was intoxicating.

"Damn it, brat, that's enough!" Asuma nearly snapped the cigarette between his teeth watching the whole scene.

Kurenai feeding Naruto like it was nothing more than second nature—that was something Asuma had dreamed about countless times.

How is this kid getting all this attention!? It's driving me insane!

Unable to take it anymore, Asuma slammed his palm down on the table.

Everyone looked at him, startled.

Except Naruto, who was still calmly chewing his food.

Asuma scowled.

"Hey! Naruto!"

"What is it, Asuma-sensei?" Naruto replied flatly, without even looking up.

"You're a man, aren't you? Learn to do things yourself—like picking up your own food. Why are you always asking Kurenai-sensei to help you? Have you even considered how she's supposed to eat? Don't be so selfish!"

It was a perfect response: firm, fair, and framed around Kurenai's perspective. A gentle reprimand that would hopefully knock some sense into the brat.

Surely, Naruto would reflect and apologize…

But instead, Naruto's eyes flashed briefly with amusement.

Then, without warning, he put on a pained expression, wrapped his arms around Kurenai's smooth, bare arm, leaned dramatically onto her shoulder, and cried out:

"Kurenai-sensei, I'm so sorry! Asuma-sensei is right. It's all my fault."

"I'm just a poor orphan… I've never had a mom or dad. I used to drink expired milk and eat stale bread from the trash!"

"And now, finally—finally—I get a proper meal thanks to you all, and I still end up burdening you, Kurenai-sensei. I'm so rude and ungrateful… I don't even deserve to be here!"

"I'm sorry I ever came!"

Tears in his eyes (fake ones, of course), Naruto wiped his face with his sleeve, then shot up from his seat and ran dramatically out of the private room.

Pandemonium followed.

Sasuke clicked his tongue in disgust and walked out after him.

Sakura glared daggers at Asuma, then ran after Naruto too.

"I'll be back soon," Hinata said politely, and rushed out, clearly worried about Naruto's emotional state.

Ino stared hard at Asuma. For the first time ever, she found the bearded jonin completely insufferable.

Yuhi Kurenai's beautiful eyes went wide, her face stiff with frustration.

She turned sharply toward Asuma and snapped, "What the hell were you thinking, Asuma? He's just a kid!"