Isekai Harem of Smut and Magic

Edition 2 (10-16-21)

Slade was perched on the soft mountain peaks, which moved up and down at the rhythm of the snoring hag underneath him. He stared at the granny’s face with utter contempt.

Her witchcraft could enslave his body, but not his mind. And forcing people to fulfill roles against their will was his pet peeves.

Dying wasn’t enough. No, he had to be reborn as a toilet slime.

You shitty hag! You expect me to drink your piss and eat your shit without saying anything!? What kind of nonsense is it? He bounced in anger, hammering her saggy boobs with kicks. A jump slightly off the mark made him slip from her chest.

Landing on the clean bed, he shook with pent-up fury. As soon as he stopped entertaining his mind with cleaning, the surge of negative emotions flooded in.

And that fucking truck! How did it come back so fast? He repeatedly slapped the boobs with his jelly stumps.

Everything is so unreasonable… I- I- WILL NEVER DRINK YOUR PEE! JUSTICE PUUUNCH! He delivered his finisher, releasing his anger.

But his last strike was ineffective and didn’t even wake up the woman. Instead, the boob recoiled, hitting him back. He snapped, cornered into a dark resolve.

Let’s kill her!

As soon as he considered killing the hag, an intense sense of guilt overcame him.

How could he foresee the effects of his acts? He knew nothing about this new life. The countless possibilities and what-ifs daunted him, stopping him from taking an irreversible course of actions despite his blazing heart.

L-let’s keep the possibilities open. I can always try to kill her later.

The old hag acted pretty laid back. Her unguarded attitude would leave many more opportunities in the future.

Not giving in to the anger, he reverted to deny his fate as toilet slime.

It’s a dream, right? I’ll return home when I wake up, and I’ll be able to finish the last chapters of ‘Domestic na Kanojo’. Man, I’m so hyped about the ending.

But no amount of denial could warp reality. As seconds turned into minutes, and minutes into hours, dread and anguish festered in his heart.

A grim realization sank in. He would never return to his previous life unless his body somehow survived the impact of the truck. In other words, his human body was lost forever.

Fuck it, I’ll kill her! She brought it upon herself for kidnapping my soul.

His last shreds of logic yielded to fear and anger. And so, the impulsive slime hopped onto Violet’s chest and poured his juices on her.

[Skill: Alchemical Synthesize & Absorption activated.]

Kuahahahaha, die for my freedom!

[Stains defeated. You gained 32 experience points.]

Wait a second. I didn’t mean to do that.

[Dead cells defeated. You have learned the skill: Skin Exfoliation! You gained 54 experience points.]

What about her living cells, though!?

“Hmm…” the warlock turned on the bed.

Slade sweated from tension, thinking about what would happen if he got caught. He moved down her body, to parts that should be less sensitive to his touch.

[Leg hair defeated. You gained 46 experience points.]

Is this a joke?!

[You have learned the skill: Beautification.]

He tried to damage each part of her body without success. When he arrived at her wrist, a foul smell and nausea greeted him.

Eww, what’s this?

Every corner of her metal wristband was filthy, as if she had not taken it off for months. When Slade touched it, an oppressive feeling gripped his heart.

I better not get too close to her bracelets.

The shriveled slime wobbled in exhaustion after hours of attempts at digesting his Sovereign. It wasn’t hard to imagine that he simply could not harm her if she could control him with orders.

In the end, he only acquired a bunch of obscure joke skills instead of killing the helpless woman. He looked at his skill list, fuming with frustration.

[Skills:

Mana transfer lv.2
Absorption lv.2
Regeneration lv.1
Alchemical Synthesize lv.2
Shapeshift lv.1
Skin Care lv.1 (NEW)
Massage lv.1 (NEW)
Symbiosis lv.1 (NEW)
Appraisal lv.1]

“Huh? I feel great for some reasons.”

Violet yawned as she removed her blindfold. Her gaping mouth froze as she processed the situation.

“Slade, did you do that? It’s astonishing!”

She sniffed at her clothes and admired her smooth hands and shaved legs. Squeezing the trembling slime, she buried her face in it.

“Thank you! I’m horrible at anything but Earth Magic. Staying clean in an underground dungeon is so much trouble. I am soooo grateful to you.”

The dying slime used the skill: Shapeshift and raised a shaking thumb up to Violet. At least, I earn recognition…

“Hmm… You look worse than before. Let’s give you something to eat.”

She carried the slime under her armpit and jumped over the piles of mess in her room. She slammed the door open and rushed towards the Troglodyte warrens.

Crystals and stalactites glowed in the distant ceiling. They lit up a cave that was wide enough to host a dozen football stadiums.

The walls were riddled with tunnels that led into unknown darkness, where strange reptilian creatures lurked.

A green-skinned lizard passed near them, walking on its two hind legs. Many more troglodytes moved in the shadows, carrying out their duties. Their eyeless faces horrified Slade.

He gulped. So that’s a Dungeon…

A troglodyte pawn bowed to the passing by Sovereign.

“Keep up the good work, pawn!” Violet returned the politeness and walked away.

Heading towards angry shouts, she found her three rooks in a dispute.

Slade twitched in amazement at the three beauties. He wriggled in shyness, burying himself in Violet’s arms.

The startled women shut their mouths and glanced at the hooded warlock in wariness.

“Shaki, do you still have the corpse of the dead pawns? It’s urgent.”

The blindfolded female troglodyte opened and closed her mouth at her unexpected request. “S-sure, follow me.”

The harpy and the minotaur followed them, curious about Violet’s urgent matter.

“Go ahead, Slade! Feast on those corpses.” Violet threw the slime in the shallow pit.

He dissolved the troglodyte flesh without a problem, confirming that he had restrictions against harming his sovereign.

“Mistress, what is this creature?”

“Hehe, that’s the Toilet Slime I made. Put it in a chamber pot, and it can eat urine and stool!”

“Toilet…”

“... Slime?”

Violet stuck out her chest in expectation for praises at her revolutionary breakthrough in artificial life magic.

The troglodyte sighed, and the minotaur looked at her in utter contempt.

“And there I was wondering what could be urgent. Is this a joke?”

“What?” The warlock froze.

“Take better care of the dungeon instead of wasting time. Anyway, I’m busy digging the tunnel so bye.”

“Here we are bleeding ourselves to complete this mission, while you are playing with slimes. Shit, I should find another sovereign once we’re done!”

The two rooks left the disappointed warlock.

“Lorely, do you think the same?”

“Erm… I think taking care of your hygiene is a wonderful step forward. I’m glad that I won’t have to worry about your well being!”

She stroked Violet’s back. “Oh, you smell pretty good.”

Feeling better, the sovereign moved to another subject. “By the way, what was your dispute about?”

“A horde of gnolls already occupied the ore mine that I found. Milia and Shaki were chewing me out for almost getting us killed and wasting their time…”

Slade shuddered at the realization that his camp was in a bad position. Would he go to battle and die as a Toilet Slime?

“I’m sorry for being so useless, mistress!”

“Don’t worry, I will personally move out and acquire the mine.”

“Mistress!? Sovereigns shouldn’t head out to battle!” Lorely gasped.

“A-aren’t you overreacting? I should be fine if it’s only gnolls.”

”No, definitely not! Your powerful destruction spells mean nothing if you get a stray arrow in the head! We don’t have enough soldiers to protect you on the battlefield yet.”

“If you say so...”

“There’s no helping it, I will continue to scout for easier targets.”

The harpy took off, headed for the surface.

“What should I do, Slade… Hmm?”

The pit was cleaned off, with only a round slime remaining.

[The Troglodyte form has been unlocked for the skill: Shapeshift. You have learned the skill: Dark vision.]

[Skill: Shapeshift activated.]

Slade wobbled furiously, mustering all his focus. He stood on two legs.

“How cute! You turned into a mini troglodyte.”

His silly face remained the same, whether he was in slime or troglodyte form.

Violet was delighted as he hopped up from the pit. His head barely reached her hips.

She caught him in her arms, looking at his status window.

“Skincare, huh? You’ve learned so many skills in such a short time. Symbiosis? Hmm...”

The sovereign spaced out, reading its details and thinking about its usage.

Slade reverted into a slime. He was eager to turn back into a human, but with his current size and skills, it didn’t seem something achievable in the short term.

Hum, Hello? He nudged Violet.

“Sorry, I was deep in thought… Let’s go back to my room.”

Violet sat on her bed with Slade on her laps. She lowered her hood, revealing a youthful smooth glowing skin.

The slime was proud of his Skin Care skill and contemplated her violet eyes. She’s rather cute when she’s not asking me to drink her pee.

“I’m hungry.”

Her face loomed over the slime.

W-wait, you’re not going to eat me, are you?