NOVEL WEB Chapter 24
No more jokes allowed!
Once is enough.
Starting from the second time, it’s not a joke anymore—it’s pure malice!
‘What the heck, this crazy woman sneaks back in after getting kicked out and starts her nonsense again?’
Now, the whole “time stopped” thing means nothing.
I was just boiling with anger.
‘You fcking btch! Am I supposed to get fooled once, let alone twice? Get lost! I’m in deep sh*t here!’
[I’m saying I will help you.]
‘When did you sneak back in after being dragged out? Please just leave me alone!’
[No, you have to listen to what I have to say!]
But the other party was completely unwilling to listen.
Moreover, a voice suddenly echoing in my head?
I heard there are punks doing voice phishing using this stuff these days, but it’s not working on me.
‘You’re voice phishing me, aren’t you? Are you from Joseonjok?’
[I’m not like that.]
‘Quit telling me to buy some gift card, you b*tch!! I’m not doing a bodycam either!!’
[Wait a moment.]
‘I support Tibet’s independence!! If you’re not Joseonjok, then go f*ck yourself, Xi Jinping!!’
[Why don’t you listen to what I have to say!!!!!!!!!]
‘AH!!!!!!! Don’t scream at me!!!!!!!!!’
My head started ringing.
Even though the world had clearly stopped, my vision was spinning like crazy.
Like my head was in a washing machine.
[I’m talking, so why do you keep rambling on?!]
‘Well, I was just a victim of voice phishing earlier.’
[Hey!!!! Back in my day, kids listened when an adult spoke!]
‘I listened calmly earlier, and look where that got me. F*ck.
[In any case, look at the situation now. What do you think?]
For now, at least it wasn’t voice phishing, so I quietly scanned my surroundings.
A stopped world. A bound body. An axe rushing towards me. And last but not least, that f*cking Lucian’s face.
There’s only one conclusion.
‘What else? I’m f*cked.’
[Right? So, can you overcome this?]
‘Are you messing with me?’
[Yes, it’s impossible right now.]
The voice in my head chuckled before continuing.
[Observer, exactly. You alone cannot overcome it.]
‘So you’re saying I can’t win? If so, just leave, lady.’
[Hey!!!!!! Mind your words!! Anyway, I meant “only you”.]
‘But “observer” reminds me of that typical observer point of view. Change it to “watcher”.’
That cliché novel is a no-go.
It started with a report from the very beginning.
[…Alright, if that’s what you want, I’ll change it.]
‘But how do we proceed? I’m seriously about to die here.’
[Don’t you see the numbers above people’s heads?]
‘…….Who are you?’
[That’s not important.]
Nobody would know.
But the person speaking in my head knows me.
And in quite a detailed way.
An unknown tension flooded my body, but the other party seemed unfazed.
[Do you know why I’m calling you “observer” or rather “watcher”?]
‘…You’re watching others’ regression counts, huh?’
[Oh, so you know about reading regression? You surprisingly have some brains.]
‘No, seriously, how do I look? Everyone said I looked like I lacked intelligence.’
[You look like the ideal type of a typical delusional loser.]
‘Mother.’
The voice cleared its throat before continuing.
[Anyway, you are a “watcher,” so in the world they belong to, you are considered an alien existence.]
‘I never said I wanted to be some kind of watcher! Plus, I’m living just fine.’
[But you still don’t have what people call an “ability.”]
‘……That’s true.’
Suddenly, I felt a little sh*tty.
Hitting me where it hurts like that.
[That proves you’re an existence that’s outside the world.]
‘But does that matter right now?’
[That’s why I’m saying I’ll help you out a little.]
‘Huh? Are you giving me an ability? Thank you, goddess.’
The tension I had with the other party vanished.
If they’re giving abilities, they must be on my side.
I quickly requested the ability I wanted.
‘Please give me the ability to stop time.’
[….That’s impossible, but why?]
‘Because the time stop genre really turns me on.’
[You’re driving me crazy, for real.]
What is a man’s fantasy?
Invisibility. Time stopping. Hypnosis apps.
If I’m going to receive an ability, isn’t it better to get one that’s close to fantasy?
[I’m only trying to help you take a step into their world.]
‘Is that even helpful?’
[You might be able to obtain what they call an “ability.”]
‘What kind?’
[You’ll find out once you try.]
‘What is this, a gacha box?’
Damn, is this what it feels like to be the protagonist of a light novel?
Please don’t let me end up with some sh*tty ability, like Black London Saga.
[Well, if you get an ability, your basic strength will increase, isn’t that decent?]
‘And I’ll get magical power too, right? What do you think about body enhancement with magical power?’
[Expecting that much already? That’s really shameless. Even the talented Eldmia took a while.]
It’s definitely a ridiculous development if someone with vague talents suddenly gets body enhancement.
That’s a recipe for a lovely “What the f*ck is this?” moment.
Then a sudden realization hit me.
‘Wait, what’s this “watcher” thing? Is it like a metaverse observer?’
[……Aren’t those for people who are supposed to live their lives?]
‘Ah.’
With that sentence, time slowly started to return to normal.
And once again, the pressure I felt in my fingertips returned.
‘Oh right, I was about to die.’
As the splitting edge of the sword began cutting in, the axe started to dig in deep, slicing me more than halfway through.
I quickly bent my wrist inwards.
Applying unexpected pressure against the axe.
Clearly, Lucian wasn’t skilled with weapons, as he easily let go of the axe from just that.
“Huh?”
Lucian’s expression slowly turned to confusion.
He couldn’t understand the current situation at all.
On the other hand, my body was different.
Though I was utterly exhausted, I could gradually feel a hint of strength spread throughout.
It was an enhancement caused by the awakening of my ability.
‘Let’s get into phase two, you ear-horned punk.’
I pulled back my right foot and swiftly broke off the vines.
With a crunch, the weak vines snapped before I kicked Lucian in the gut.
He staggered back with a whoosh.
In that moment, I quickly broke free from the vines binding my left arm and leg.
“You! You! How!?”
Lucian was in utter shock.
For Lucian, it must have been incomprehensible.
How could someone on the brink of death suddenly muster such strength?
In my right hand, I held both the longsword and the axe that was embedded halfway into it.
With my left hand, I grasped the axe handle and pulled with all my might.
The sight resembled a dual-wielding warrior separating swords.
…No, this time I’m going to win.
Dual-wielding isn’t a symbol of defeat.
I lunged for the stunned Lucian.
Even if slicing wouldn’t be that effective, stabbing would definitely have an impact.
The spirit that was initially wary of me, unlike Lucian, unleashed a shockwave to intercept.
My right hand was knocked back, and the sword I was holding was sent flying away.
No matter how much my physical specs improved, it meant nothing against exhaustion.
I definitely wouldn’t have let go of my sword under normal circumstances.
However, the same went for my opponent.
After the spirit’s defense, Lucian’s face suddenly contorted into despair.
He was uttering a cry that sounded almost like a desperate question.
“This can’t be! What’s happening! Where did it go! Why isn’t there a response?!”
‘That was the spirit’s last desperate effort.’
I swung the axe down on Lucian’s right shoulder.
But Lucian quickly grew two trees to defend his shoulder before I could raise the count above his head again.
An unexpected obstruction appeared in the path of my axe.
Of course, the axe got stuck, but that didn’t matter.
The wood was already weakened beyond saving.
I balled my right hand into a fist and struck the axe’s head down hard.
Hitting the axe like a hammer to a nail.
– Crack!
The axe smashed through the wood as splinters scattered everywhere.
As the splinters burst into the air, the axe dove sharply into Lucian’s shoulder.
With Lucian’s scream echoing as the backdrop, the red number above my head increased.
“Ahhhhhhhhhhh!!”
As Lucian screamed, all the branches tried to stab my left arm trying to pull out the axe.
Even though they were already rotting beyond repair, their tips remained sharp.
Yet multiple branches pierced through my left arm and gruesomely tore it away below my shoulder.
“F*ck!!! It hurts so much!!!”
My left arm was gone.
But I still had my right arm.
Gripping the axe handle with my right hand, I pulled it out with all my strength.
A red curtain was painted across the sky following the trajectory of the axe.
As Lucian’s expression turned pale seeing that beautiful artwork.
“This mere short-lived race!!!”
“I’m done with your nonsense over three chapters. Now you’re heading to heaven!”
I lunged at Lucian, who was attempting to retreat.
Running forward was far more advantageous than stepping back.
Distance closed quickly.
And with enough room for the axe, it was time to call upon the power of the upper town’s brother.
[Ian Perkus's axe technique, Secret Technique - Limb-Cutting Technique]
I started by severing Lucian’s left arm.
As Lucian screamed a labor song, I cut off his right arm with the axe.
I simultaneously stomped on Lucian’s left foot with my right.
Preventing any escape, I struck his left thigh with the axe.
Finishing up by stabbing into Lucian’s right thigh while laughing at his disgraceful fall.
Ah… so this is it, Ian.
Once again, I’ve gained clarity.
The final blow struck down forcefully at the center of Lucian’s crown, turning his single-core into a dual-core.
With that, the sparring ground’s system came to an end.
Returning to normal, my wounds began to feel real again.
Pausing for a moment, I quietly muttered in the middle of the sparring ground.
“I ripped it apart.”
[Shinwoo student! That's a violation of election law!]
F*ck.
*
Still somewhat dazed, as soon as the sparring system ended, Lucian quickly regained his senses.
He jumped up from his spot, immediately pointing a finger at me.
“I’m not! I can’t lose! This is invalid!!”
“Enough with the nonsense. You were torn apart by me.”
“This is ridiculous!!”
Lucian was unable to contain his anger and grabbed my collar.
He protested so fervently, spitting everywhere, losing all sense of dignity.
The daggers at Lucian’s feet clashed, making a clatter, but Lucian’s gaze remained fixated on me.
“You must have used some trick!”
“Trick? F*ck, you’re just so out of it!”
“I refuse to accept it! I refuse to acknowledge it!”
“What are you going to do when you lose after taking drugs? I’ve heard of true mages who take drugs.”
“Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!”
Lucian tore at his hair in anguish.
But the anguish wasn’t just his.
The students who had bet on Lucian were also howling just like him.
“There are life reset buttons at the bottom of the Han River; first three to sign up!!!”
“Kids, money can be earned anytime. Don’t cling so tightly.”
“Is it a reverse fortune?”
“Busted, f*ck.”
“You bunch of b*tches!!! I failed the exam and have no balance left!!!!!”
“Guys, isn’t nothingness? That’s me, you f*ckers!!!!”
Sweet, sweet.
How delightful.
Of course, it wasn’t just those cries.
“Kyoukyou! What building should we buy with this money!!”
“Hyeji-chan! Let’s go to Marswwwwwwww.”
“All we need is to set the wedding date. Just set the wedding date. Just set the wedding date.”
They looked exceedingly happy.
Seeing them made me smile as well.
Just as I took a step toward my team, suddenly, Lucian screamed and charged at me.
Clutching the dagger that had fallen to the ground.
“I refuse to recognize an inferior race!!!!!!!!!!!”
“You moron, aren’t you just a lame gamer?”
“Ahhhhhhhhhh!”
[Lucian student! Stop it!]
“Everyone shut up!!!!!”
Ignoring the professor’s orders, Lucian charged.
I tried to step back to dodge but was a bit slow in reacting to the sudden attack.
A dagger swung upward vertically.
The trajectory of the dagger etched itself into my left eye.
– Swoosh!
“Ow, that stings!”
I quickly swatted Lucian’s left hand away, but his momentum still pushed into my body.
I was about to topple over backward.
In a desperate scramble for support, my right hand instinctively grabbed something.
That something was Lucian’s long, flowing blonde hair.
Before I even registered what I was holding, a shockwave hit my body.
The spirit reacted the moment it gathered itself.
Of course, I’m not sure if that was the right action to take.
– WHOOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Surprised by the unexpected attack, I was flung away.
As I rolled on the ground and tried to rise, suddenly, the sparring ground fell into silence.
I was puzzled.
Why was everyone so quiet?
Then my eyes shifted to my right hand.
“….Huh?”
In a state of enhanced physical specs, I had my grip on Lucian’s head.
And with a steel gauntlet, unless by some special circumstance, I wouldn’t let go of what I was holding.
Moreover, with the spirit waking up and forcibly pushing me away…
As a result.
In my right hand was most of Lucian’s beautiful golden hair.
I hadn’t predicted this kind of situation at all.
With startled eyes on the golden hair in my right hand, slowly turned my gaze to Lucian.
Lucian’s head was mostly bald except for a couple of spots.
In that state, he was speechless, staring blankly at his own hair in my hand.
“…..”
“……”
“……”
“Sorry.”
Lucian was on the verge of collapse.
Crowning the moment was Kyoukyou.
Kyoukyou started pointing at Lucian’s head, laughing uncontrollably.
“Look at thiswww, his hair is sparklingwwwwwwwwwwwwwww”
“Ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!”
Only Kyoukyou’s laughter resonated clearly in the sparring ground.
Followed by Lucian’s scream. Then he fainted.
What a pitiful downfall for an antagonist.
‘….I’m really sorry.’