Is This a Novel or Something?…Everyone and Their Dog is Regressing, It’s Fking Ridiculous

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Are you really relying on that pathetic information?!”

“Are you the only one who gets to split? Tell me too. That way we can split together.”

“Ha ha ha ha ha! Alright, I’ll generously share!”

Lucian shook an empty bottle pulled from his pocket.

“This is our tribe’s special potion. If you drink it, you’ll be several times stronger for 30 minutes.”

“…Even with doping, seven is the maximum?”

“Shut up!!!”

Lucian reacted fiercely to the sharp remark that had suddenly entered the conversation.

Looks like he has a complex about his own abilities.

“Fuck, you bunch of junkies. If I go to the Ear Goblin club, will I get a sample?”

“Don’t treat this as some low-grade drug! It takes 30 years of daily refinement to get a single bottle of water infused with the leaves of the World Tree!”

That’s quite a rare item. A lazy guy like him wouldn’t easily obtain something like that.

“You didn’t officially bring that over, did you? You snuck it in?”

“Oh, no. I just brought a few bottles because nobody seemed to need it.”

No way, it was real?

“I thought it was trash, but it turns out to be fucking trash. You didn’t make this, your mother must have.”

“Oh, no! I helped a bit too!”

It makes more sense for me to escape in 100 chapters than for that to be true.

There’s no way that could happen, so I’m pressing harder.

“Who are you helping? If this is the best you can do, you’re insane, you idiot.”

“Th-That’s enough!”

“It must have been quite hard to make a potion like that.”

“Not that hard… I mean, maybe.”

Lucian answered unconfidently, making my words get more weight.

“It’s a hard-won potion and now some bastard gobbles them all up?”

“That’s enough!!!!!!!!!!”

Again, a moan came from the audience.

A small, clear sound of sobbing.

“Treat your parents well, you bastards.”

But wait, the tribe makes doping drugs?

The leaves on the pond were actually coca leaves, not lotus leaves.

“I won’t forget this shame given by a short-lived race.”

“If you’re going to go to Futaba Park, take those champi bastards with you.”

“I won’t kill nicely!!!!!”

Before I could even respond, two vine tendrils wrapped around my ankle.

This time, I hadn’t sensed them at all.

In that moment, again, the number above the Ear Goblin’s head went up.

“No, you crazy bastard. How many times are you going to regress?”

I quickly grabbed one of the two remaining axes and severed both tendrils.

As soon as they broke, I instinctively leaped backward.

As I hit the ground, dust rose up while five sharp trees sprouted sharply.

Right at the position I had just occupied.

Finally, the red number above Lucian’s head went up by one.

“Faster than it looks, huh? Stop dying!”

“I’ll return that back to you, fuck for real.”

I checked my remaining weapons.

Two axes. Three daggers. Twelve soy grenades.

I was planning to use them later, but if I held back, I’d get neither food nor rice.

This time, I dashed out and threw one grenade diagonally into the air.

At the same time, I shot off the last three remaining daggers straight ahead.

My wrist felt a slight strain, but it was bearable.

Meanwhile, Lucian had a number pop up above his head.

Then, trees began to sprout diagonally from both sides in front of me.

They looked easy to grab and leap over.

But…

‘It feels off.’

Something was off about them.

Unlike the five trees that had sprouted just now, they were moving at a significantly slower pace.

I quickly judged it to be a trap.

So instead of leaping over, I slid through the space below.

As I passed through, three newly sprouted trees positioned themselves to impale me.

Had I chosen to jump, I would have undoubtedly been skewered.

‘…I almost died, damn.’

Just before I rose, I glanced at the position of my weapons.

The nearest weapons I could grab were a semi-automatic shotgun and a longsword.

Not bad.

On the other hand, Lucian’s red number had gone up again.

Seeing my tactic fail, his expression twisted.

“With your short-lived race, your lifeline sure stretches like a long-lived one!!”

“Please shut up. My heart is racing in real-time right now.”

Standing up, I picked up the semi-automatic shotgun and longsword with my left and right hands respectively.

Holding the sword reverse grip, I rested the semi-automatic shotgun on my shoulder and unleashed all five bullets left in the magazine.

– Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!

Just moments ago, Lucian’s stupid head had come up with a wooden trap that hadn’t disappeared yet.

Moreover, two more trees had sprouted to block the shot I just fired.

Seven plants had sprung up in total.

At that moment, with a whiz sound, the shotgun splintered into two.

The wind spirit shot a gust that shattered the shotgun.

I was a bit disappointed, but it was alright.

‘You burned through all the wood, huh, you bastard?’

I pivoted the longsword that I was holding in reverse and immediately thrust it forward.

Targeting Lucian’s neck.

But just then, the number above Lucian’s head ticked up again, and he started chuckling.

“Please, just hit me once. I’ll stab gently.”

The tip of the sword suddenly veered off course.

It was also thanks to the spirit’s interference.

As a result, the blade grazed Lucian’s right shoulder instead of his neck.

“It’s pointless!”

Nonetheless, I had a chance I had to seize.

Even blocked, I didn’t stop and grabbed Lucian by his collar.

Soon, I tried pressing the blade against Lucian’s neck, but—

“You said it was pointless!!”

Once again, the spirit diligently thwarted my attack.

Thanks to that, the sword blade couldn’t approach Lucian’s neck within a certain distance.

I started pushing Lucian back, determined to inflict some damage.

“Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!”

“Stop splitting. I genuinely want to crack your skull.”

“Go ahead and try, what do you think pushing me back will achieve?!”

Once again, the spirit pushed me back.

The distance between Lucian and me widened again.

At least, thankfully, I was pushed back less than before.

‘Fuck, that thing is really overpowered, for real.’

But my efforts weren’t in vain.

One soy grenade I threw diagonally earlier had landed between me and Lucian.

I dashed towards it and picked up the fallen grenade.

At the same time, I removed the safety devices from all my soy grenades.

I trusted my Defensive Coat’s defense and charged straight for Lucian.

“Allahu Akbar!”

“Get lost!!!!”

“You’re dying here with Huuh too!!!”

– Swoosh!!!

A dazzling light erupted in the sparring ground, as if my eyes were going blind.

In a situation where I couldn’t clearly see, I heard Lucian’s frantic voice.

“Don’t struggle and get lost!!!”

With Lucian’s roar, the wind spirit unleashed a powerful shockwave in all directions.

Thanks to that, I was sent flying once again.

Farther than before.

As I stood up, I unstrapped the now useless soy grenade belt and tossed it away.

The dust from the spirit’s shockwave blew up, obscuring my view.

Inside, I fervently prayed.

‘I’m trusting the coat’s specs and acting recklessly, so please die, Ear Goblin.’

But they say prayers typically don’t get answered.

From the audience, someone shouted loudly.

“Did you take him down?”

“Hey, you fucking bastard, for real!”

Unfortunately, Lucian was still alive.

The flames I hoped would move towards Lucian failed to achieve their purpose.

At the right moment, the trees I had previously made had entwined around Lucian’s body, perfectly shielding him.

However, Lucian looked extremely worn out and haggard.

Maybe it was due to the recoil from repeatedly using his abilities, he was panting heavily.

‘I’m no different from him.’

No matter how much stamina I had, I wasn’t going to accept such an unfair stamina exchange lightly.

I could already feel fatigue seeping into my body.

The state of my weaponry wasn’t so great either.

All I had left were the longsword in my right hand and the two axes on my waist.

Plus, my coat’s color had slightly changed due to the previous reckless act.

From shiny black to just dull black.

The defense performance had diminished.

I could lament for a moment about how my defense couldn’t hold up for long, but I quickly changed my mindset.

‘It’s a blessing I’m still standing after that crazy stunt.’

Still, I couldn’t see any way to win.

I felt frustrated and anxious.

In that moment, a woman’s voice began echoing in my head.

A voice I had never heard before, imbued with a mystical feel.

[Do you want power?]

‘?????’

[I asked if you want power.]

I quietly cheered inwardly.

The moment I had been waiting for had finally come.

‘It’s here, fuck! I’m the protagonist now!’

I settled my excited heart and calmly replied.

Yet, I couldn’t hide the surging desire in my words.

‘Yes, I want the power to overcome this situation.’

[Good. Follow what I say.]

‘Of course.’

Ah, the scene where the protagonist awakens is a staple in novels.

I can’t resist this.

I grinned ominously and stared intensely at Lucian.

In an instant, Lucian seemed to get a little scared with my sudden shift in demeanor.

He didn’t even think about attacking me, only gazing at me blankly.

The arena itself seemed to be overwhelmed by the sudden change in atmosphere, enveloped in silence.

[Follow my words. I am!]

“I am!”

[Proclaim this here and now!]

“I proclaim this here and now!!”

I aimed the tip of my sword at Lucian and continued.

[With this hand, I’ll stain it with blood!]

“With this hand, I’ll stain it with blood!”

[I’ll step over your corpses and ascend!]

“I’ll step over your corpses and ascend!”

[From now on, heed my words and fear me!]

“From now on, heed my words and fear me!”

It seemed everyone was slowly starting to feel a little fear.

Of course.

The protagonist’s awakening is enough to instill fear in everyone.

[Reach out towards the skies and shout, Status Window!!!]

“Status Window!!!”

[System!!!]

“System!!!”

[Status!!!!!!]

“Status!!!!!!”

Silence.

Nothing appeared.

Only the stillness dominating the arena remained.

After about 20 seconds of silence, I started feeling something was off.

‘What’s going on? Is an ability awakening supposed to happen without any feeling?’

[….Pffft..]

‘???????’

[Pffft, pfffft, ha ha ha ha ha ha!]

‘What, what the fuck. What’s going on?’

[Pffft, ha ha ha! Is there really an idiot following along here?]

Oh?

At that moment, Kyoukyou and Hyeji’s voices echoed.

When I turned my gaze, Kyoukyou was clutching her stomach while Hyeji held her forehead.

“Shinwoo-chan still hasn’t shaken off his middle-schooler syndrome!wwwwwwww”

“H, fuck, how did I end up with that bastard…”

Meanwhile, Yerim looked at me with a gaze full of pity.

It was a look as if she were looking at a patient suffering from mental illness.

“Um… Shinwoo, if your mind is a bit overwhelmed, I can introduce you to a doctor.”

Ah.

Fuck.

Everyone except the three of them looked stunned.

I desperately searched for the girl who was laughing at me, my eyes bloodshot.

Then I found her in the audience in the back.

A girl who had her hands on her temples, laughing with her eyes closed.

‘It’s you, you fucker.’

There was no hesitation.

Only pure anger consumed me.

“Die!!!! You bitch!!!!!!!!”

More terrifying than any image existing in this world, as I hurled the axe, Lucian huddled down trembling in place.

Of course, in my current situation, I had no luxury to care about such things.

Lucian, you’re out.

If you don’t want to die.

The axe flew toward the girl in the audience at a terrifying speed, only to be blocked by a translucent barrier.

“Che, a barrier.”

[Shinwoo student! What are you doing? That action is a clear violation!]

“That bastard used telepathy on me!”

[What? Please hold on. Staff, check it out!]

Soon after, the faux goddess of awakening was dragged out of the sparring ground.

Even as she was being taken out, she kept shouting.

“That bastard called the supporters tools!!!!!!”

[Take her out immediately! Anyone who disrupts the sparring is subject to discipline!]

“I’m taking rightful revenge!!!!”

After some commotion, the sparring resumed.

Of course, I couldn’t recover the axe I threw earlier.

‘Fuck, I only lost my weapon.’

I used to be like that in middle school, acting like a psycho.

This PTSD is hitting hard, really.

I vowed to infuse manners into the academy with an axe soon enough.

Longing for someone deeply.

‘Iain Percus… I miss you today.’

*

“Um… Are we starting now?”

“Sure.”

Lucian suddenly used honorifics, which was odd all of a sudden.

But it wasn’t that important, so I ignored it and focused on the fight.

Forcing my trembling legs to move, I charged at Lucian.

With my left hand, I threw the last remaining axe off my belt.

Once again, the spirit thwarted it, but…

‘I can tell it’s weaker than before.’

The spirit was indeed fatigued.

Unlike before, the axe was barely two inches from Lucian now.

Even the axe didn’t bounce far, landing right at Lucian’s feet.

That was a good omen for me.

Meanwhile, four plants surged to stop my approach.

This time, however, there was a difference.

They looked wilted and lacked sheen like rotten wood.

The speed of their approach had significantly decreased compared to before.

‘I can work with this.’

I dodged one of the trees coming for my head and struck it down with my gloved hand.

It crumbled with a soft pop.

Their durability was lacking, so I had nothing to be afraid of.

A tree coming for my torso charged head-on.

One tree aimed at my right ankle, the other came for my left side.

I dodged and rushed ahead.

‘It’s landing!’

To break my momentum, Lucian hastily grew a huge tree in front of him.

Then he started murmuring an incantation again.

‘I like Eji Seon too.’

With the huge tree still in front of him, he threw his coat with all his strength to the left.

Simultaneously, I dashed to the right, away from the coat he’d thrown.

The large black coat flew towards Lucian.

– Swish!!

Once again, a blade of wind pierced through the coat.

Yet it didn’t rip, for it seemed a decent item, flying far away and rolling on the ground.

I thought I heard Hyeji yell “What a waste!” from afar, but winning was paramount now.

Running to the right, I quickly changed direction.

I aimed with all my strength at Lucian, ready to slice him.

‘This is really the end!’

However, I encountered two problems.

One was that I was so excited that my judgment had been clouded in an instant.

The other was that the number above Lucian’s head had risen yet again.

The price was devastating.

What I saw with my sword thrust wasn’t Lucian’s neck.

Two vine tendrils shot toward me like whips.

‘Ah, fuck, there were seven in total.’

I saw it when I regressed, damn.

I should have counted more carefully.

– Thwack!!

“Aah!!!”

I was struck by the tendrils and thrown back, hitting the ground.

At least I was lucky not to drop my sword.

But everything else was the worst.

I was left weaponless.

My body was in terrible condition. Getting up was nearly impossible.

Moreover, five tendrils had sprung up and were starting to bind me.

Both my hands. Both my legs. And my torso.

Lastly, Lucian walked over, holding the axe that had fallen to the ground.

“How grotesque. Fighting to this extent.”

“If you know it’s grotesque, then let me go. I’m not into tentacle play.”

“Let’s end this.”

Lucian raised the axe above his head.

Was it meant to signify the end? Every moment slowed down.

Gathering the last of my strength, I lifted my right arm.

I gained a bit of freedom between the slightly severed tendrils.

To make that freedom not go to waste, I pressed the blade against the axe’s edge.

It was half a gamble.

Hoping the axe’s edge would glide over the sword’s blade, I waited.

However, my luck seemed to have run out, as the axe blade cleanly betrayed my expectations.

Instead, the sword tip sliced through with exquisite precision.

‘Fuck, I can’t lose to this guy.’

In a few seconds, the axe that severed my weapon would pierce me.

I sensed a complete defeat edging closer.

At that moment.

The world stopped.

No one moved.

No sounds echoed.

Only my thoughts churned.

At the same time, a delicate feminine voice began resonating in my head.

[Do you want to win?]

‘?’

[Are you asking if you want to win?]

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