I’m a Villainess, Can I Die?

The moment breakfast was over, my brother and Lukas began making preparations for their departure.

Though calling them a group felt like an overstatement—it was just the two of them, after all.
Still, what was there to worry about? The protagonist and supporting protagonist of this story were traveling together.
What could possibly go wrong?

"Have a safe trip, Brother."
"Ah… right. Selina, make sure to take care of yourself, too."
"I’ll be at home anyway. Sir Lukas, I’ll leave my brother in your care."

"And what about me? Am I not worthy of your concern?"
Lukas raised his eyebrows, feigning disappointment.
Please.

I had no reason to worry about a man who could wipe out a gang of thugs while carrying a person like a kangaroo.
I deliberately ignored him and turned my gaze back to my brother.
This is really the last time.

That thought made my heart ache.
He was the kind of man who would continue to cherish his sister, even after she had betrayed him multiple times.
He had always been kind, always affectionate.

I hoped he would become the true protagonist of this story.
That he would overcome his trials, find love, and live happily ever after.
I clasped his hand, offering him an unspoken blessing before letting go.

Surprise flickered across his face, but so did unmistakable joy.
To an outsider, this might have seemed excessive.
What kind of sibling bond is this?
But if I told them I was going to die soon, they would probably applaud this final farewell instead.

"In that case, I should say it as well. Take care, Selina."
Lukas smoothly extracted my hand from my brother’s and took it in his own, offering a polite farewell.
Well… this would be my last time seeing him, too.

For what it was worth, he had been a decent knight-turned-bodyguard-turned-personal-annoyance.
Though, in this arrangement, I had always felt more like the unwillingly diced tomato.
I gave our joined hands a brief shake—a simple handshake of parting.

My brother, watching with a disapproving frown, promptly inserted his hand between ours, slicing through the air in a decisive chop before seizing Lukas’ wrist.
"Enough of that. Let’s go, Lukas."
"Oh dear, are you escorting me? If your fiancée sees this, she might misunderstand."

Lukas’ ridiculous joke was met with silence.
My brother simply waved one last time before climbing into the carriage.
Lukas, grinning, allowed himself to be half-dragged inside with an exaggeratedly graceful gesture, as if he were a lady being helped into a royal carriage.

"Try not to get lost," I called dryly.
At my words, my brother’s face flushed red, undoubtedly remembering that incident during his engagement ceremony.
A perfect match for his baby deer of a fiancée.

I shut the carriage door and took a step back.
The coachman snapped the reins, and the horses began to move.
As the sound of hooves and dust filled the air, I waved once more.

"May fortune always be on your path, Brother."
A whispered blessing I couldn’t bring myself to say aloud.
With that, I turned away without hesitation.

From now on, in the shadow of my departing brother, there would be no trace of the child he once saw in me.
This was enough.
"Mother, Father. I’d like to go out today."

The words slipped from my lips after lunch, as the three of us remained at the table.
"What? Where to? Without Sir Lukas… wouldn’t it be better to wait a few days?"
Mother’s worried voice tumbled out in a rush.

Ah.
That reminded me of the time I went running and nearly collapsed.
Maybe I should stop associating words like rushing with that incident.

I reworded my thought—Mother’s concerned response poured out all at once.
"Count Jonas’ household is hosting a Rose Garden Party," I said smoothly. "I’d like to start socializing more with others. And while I’m at it, I’d like to buy some new clothes."
"If it’s clothes you need, we can call a tailor to the house!"

Mother, ever logical, offered a perfectly reasonable solution.
Of course, I had anticipated this argument.
"I’d rather visit different shops in person. The party is soon, so tailored clothing might not be an option. I’d like to look at a variety of styles before choosing one."

"We could arrange for multiple designers to bring their selections to the estate," Father suggested this time.
If it were any other day, I would have admired the Duke’s efficiency.
Staying home while others delivered exactly what I needed?

Truly, the convenience of nobility.
But today, that convenience was inconvenient.
"Actually, after sending my RSVP, I reached out to Lady Jonas and asked her to help me choose an outfit. We’ve arranged to shop together… would that be all right?"

Of course, it would be.
I had to leave today, no matter what.
My parents fell silent, deep in thought.

They clearly weren’t thrilled about me going out alone, especially without Lukas.
But…
Their once-bedridden daughter had finally expressed an interest in socializing.

She wanted to spend time with someone her own age.
Who could possibly deny such a request?
After a long moment, my parents—caught between concern, resolve, relief, and happiness—nodded.

"Thank you, Mother, Father."
As I stepped away from the table, I caught a faint conversation behind the closed doors.
They were discussing their worries and excitement over Selina finally going out to shop with a friend.

I’m sorry.
But I was never truly her.
And this was something Selina had wanted.

Please don’t be too sad, or resent me too much.
I stood still for a moment, listening to their voices, then quietly walked away.
A maid trailed behind me.

This will be over soon.
For months, they had followed me around the house, constantly at my side, as if I were some delicate porcelain doll.
Even without memories, they must have thought it strange.

I had been too helpless.
I must have been too much of a burden.
This translation is the intellectual property of .

"You’ve been through a lot," I muttered absentmindedly.
"Pardon, miss?"
The nameless maid sounded bewildered, but I only shrugged and continued walking.

I had nothing else to say.
"Something simple. Nothing extravagant."
"And… for accessories…?"

"No necklace. Keep it as understated as possible."
"Yes, miss."
My outfit for the day was incredibly plain.

A modest amount of makeup, a simple yet refined dress, and a single pearl hairpin—that was it.
To the wealthy, my attire would say, Oh, look at the quality of that fabric. And those pearls—such excellent condition.
To those unfamiliar with high-end materials, I would simply appear as a well-off young lady.

A necessary precaution to avoid another Why are there thugs here again? incident.
"I'm leaving now."
"Alright, dear. What about dinner?"

I probably won’t be eating.
I averted my gaze momentarily before looking back up.
Mother’s sky-blue eyes, identical to Selina’s, felt uncomfortably piercing.

"I’ll eat while I’m out. You should go back inside—it's not like I’m going anywhere special."
"Right… of course. Have a good time, my dear. Send my regards to Lady Jonas."
Lady Jonas just hit the jackpot.

I carefully withdrew my hand from my mother’s grasp as she gently stroked my hand.
She was still watching me.
Father, though exasperated by Mother’s fussing, had also wrapped an arm around her shoulders and was stealing glances at me.

I bowed slightly, then turned away without hesitation.
Unreciprocated gestures only left behind regret.
"Let’s go, Aiden."

"Yes, miss."
As I exchanged parting words with my parents, Aiden bowed to them before following me into the carriage.
Through the window, I saw them still watching, their faces filled with concern.

I held their image in my mind for a moment, until the carriage finally moved out of sight.
My brother must have looked at me the same way when he left earlier.
I’m glad I waved him goodbye.

With a mixture of heaviness and relief, I leaned back against the swaying carriage.
Ah…
My body jolted as the carriage rattled over the uneven road.

Still can’t get used to this damn shaking.
My muscles, still sore from my previous outing, tensed with every jolt.
And the lingering aches from the other day—after I had felt chills creeping over me—had yet to fade.

The journey hadn’t even reached the halfway point, yet my entire body felt sluggish.
Can I even carry out my plan properly like this?
Even as I tried to brace myself against the window, the vibrations rattled through my body.

"Miss, one moment."
Aiden rummaged through the bag he had brought along and pulled out something soft—red, plush, and fuzzy.
A blanket.

"A blanket? In early summer?"
"Even in early summer, the evenings can get chilly. I brought it just in case… looks like it came in handy."
"It’s not even cold."

If anything, the weather was slightly warm.
Aiden gave me a glance before neatly folding the blanket.
Even with the carriage rocking, his movements were precise—truly professional.

"If you fold it and place it on the seat and backrest, the vibrations will feel less intense."
Demonstrating, he pressed the folded blanket against his seat and the carriage wall. Then, with a nod of approval, he looked at me.
That confident nod triggered a memory.

The way he had once stood at my door, so sure that his response was the correct answer.
Has it really been almost two months since I entered this world?
Time had passed so mercilessly fast.

Without a word, I stood up and moved to sit beside Aiden, settling into the spot where he had just placed the blanket.
Aiden startled slightly, shifting away in surprise.
Again. What’s with the overreaction?

I had simply chosen to sit there because it was already arranged neatly—less hassle than taking the blanket and fixing it myself.
But apparently, this wasn’t a good decision for him.
Not that I cared.

He had yet to qualify as an exam proctor, so no matter what answer I gave, he had no choice but to mark it correct.
"Wake me when we arrive."
"A-ah… yes, miss."

I closed my eyes.
The vibrations beneath me felt significantly less intense.
Sitting in the opposite direction of the carriage’s movement also felt oddly refreshing.

With the empty seat in front of me, I drifted off into sleep.
Aiden stole a glance at the sleeping young lady beside him.
Moments ago, she had been shifting uncomfortably from the carriage’s rough ride, only to fall asleep so easily now.

If it had bothered her that much, she could have at least complained or asked the coachman to slow down…
And yet, without hesitation, she had plopped right into the seat next to him.
This was so different from before.

For a brief moment, Aiden stared absentmindedly at her sleeping face—
Then, realizing what he was doing, he jerked his gaze toward the window.
What the hell am I thinking?

Carefully, he shifted closer to the carriage wall, resting his head against it.
Outside, the bright sun burned against the clear sky.